Total Pokkemon Island

by Shuckle Master

36(secretly 37) Pokemon compete in a competition hosted by Victini for one million poke (Which Victini secretly doesn't have to give). Who will win? Who will lose? Who will hook up, and who will manipulate their way to the top? Disclaimer: I own nothing. Except my OCs?...maybe? Starts getting good around chapter 8 or so. Before that, eh...

36. Chapter 36: Shuckle versus Umbreon!

0000

Victini floated in front of the camera, donning a party hat. "Welcome folks, to the final episode of Total Pokkemon Island!"

He was leaning against the totem that marked the location of the campfire, and he used his psychic powers to move around the camera 360 degrees to view the entire island.

"We began with thirty six-"

"Thirty-seven!" Hariyama hissed from his hiding spot.

"-Thirty-seven contestants, all bright eyed and bushy tailed for the chance to win millions of dollars. Over the last few months, that number has grown increasingly smaller and smaller as drama, strategy, and alliances were forged and broken, until now, when we've reached the final two contestants: Shuckle and Umbreon."

Images of both players appeared above Victini's head.

"Shuckle, though small and rather unimpressive physically, proved to have a keen mind and won quite a few challenges with it. He managed to form three alliances and survived their respective terminations. He's credited with the defeat of several key players, including the legendary Scrafty.

"Umbreon is a bit of a different case. She didn't seem to be the greatest physically or intellectually but proved a genius at staying under the radar. She was able to avoid the many feuds and rivalries that formed in the game and rode that wave all the way to the top. Could she be this game's dark horse?"

Images began to play of the two finalists; Shuckle crashing a plane, Umbreon dancing in a Pokemon contest, both Pokemon tying to win immunity with Munchlax and Infernape, Shuckle with a beard...

Victini wiped away a tear at the final image of Umbreon and Infernape screaming at the top of their lungs about clapping their hands and believing. "We've seen both these players bite off more than they can chew and spit it back out again, but it's high time one triumphed as the true winner of Total Pokkemon Island! Now let's see what our finalists are up to, shall we?"

0000

"You figured out that combo then, huh," Shuckle grumbled as he dropped his controller. "What, did you spend the entire time at the loser resort playing video games?"

Munchlax blinked. "Basically."

Shuckle sighed. "Well played I guessed."

Munchlax rubbed his arm a little awkwardly. Shuckle had been a little off since he defeated Gallade. He hated to be the one to bring it up, but-

"Are you feeling okay?" Munchlax asked. "You haven't really been yourself lately."

"I'll be fine," Shuckle said, shrugging. "I'm just nervous about the finale. I don't want to let you guys down."

"Hey, you're a better player than the rest of our alliance," Munchlax argued. "Sure, you've made mistakes, but who hasn't?"

"I guess you're right," Shuckle admitted. "Have you ever been alone in your thoughts for a long time?"

"I'm an introvert, so yes," Munchlax replied.

"Well, when you do, you start imagining the worst and get yourself freaked out over nothing," Shuckle said. "Since there are so few of us left, I've had a lot of time to myself, and lately I can't get over my own head."

"Well, I'm here now, dude," Munchlax said, patting Shuckle's shell. "Let's do something fun before the last challenge, okay?"

Shuckle nodded. "Thank you, Munchlax. I just want off this stupid island. If I stay here any longer I'm going to go out of my mind."

"FINALISTS! THE LAST DANCE WILL HAPPEN OVER AT THE CAMPFIRE! GET YOUR BUTTS OVER THERE NOW!" Victini roared via intercom.

"Speak of Giratina." Shuckle cursed under his breath. "We aren't very fast, so we'd better get going. How open are you to giving me a piggyback ride?"

Munchlax sighed. "Hop on."

0000

"Well, it looks like there isn't much more time," Shuckle said. "Umbreon's no pushover; she's won a handful of challenges and knows how to be pretty underhanded, outlasting the toughest opponents in the show. I mean, so did I, but she did it without revealing her entire hand."

0000

"…Why aren't you hanging around with your other friends?" Umbreon asked, blowing a puff of air. She had found one of Scrafty's many packs of cigarettes after his departure and spent the weekend putting it to use.

"You look like you could use the company?" Bidoof asked, giving her a bright smile. "C'mon why are you complainin'? Aren't we buddies?"

"Fine, we're buddies, but they're way better company then I could ever be," Umbreon said. "Aren't you bored?"

Bidoof thought for a moment. "Nah. You're pretty and funny. Do I need another excuse?"

Umbreon gave him an odd glance. "I guess not."

Victini's voice roared over the intercom, ordering the finalists to assemble at the campfire. Umbreon hissed and perked her ears in annoyance.

"Well lovely. It's about time we ended this stupid season."

"Are ya excited to win?" Bidoof asked brightly, as they walked to the campfire ceremony.

"Bitch, I better win after what I've gone through," Umbreon growled under her breath. "If the last few months were a complete waste of time I'm blowing someone's brains out."

0000

"Shuckle won't go down easy," Umbreon muttered. "If I want any chance at winning I'm going to have to catch him off guard. Hopefully whatever challenge Victini comes up with involves something I can exploit to screw him over."

0000

Umbreon, Bidoof, Muchlax, and Shuckle arrived at the campfire, which was vacant save for Victini. The host was floating in front of his usual podium with a wicked grin. The seats were divided into two sections, one with Umbreon's face, and the other with Shuckle's.

"Umbreon, Shuckle. Welcome to your final challenge."

Umbreon glanced around. "There are a lot more cameras than usual."

"Well duh, this is a momentous occasion!" Victini said. "The last episode of our series. Our viewer count is through the roof, so we better not keep them waiting. But first…. who wants a stroll down memory lane?"

Shuckle looked confused, before staring at the docks in surprise. A massive cruise liner arrived at the island, and the entire cast of eliminated campers began to pile out.

"Let's get in our proper order," Victini said, as the cast stumbled to the camp totem. "Sit down when I call your name. Talonflame, Smeargle, and Pidgey!"

Talonflame gave the two a cocky grin before flapping over to Umbreon's section, settling down. Smeargle gave a roguish smile and hopped up on Shuckle's, followed by a squawking Pidgey.

"Electivire, Haxorus, Machamp, and Gliscor."

Electivire stomped up to Shuckle's section, folding his arms, while Haxorus walked over to Umbreon's. Machamp and Gliscor both climbed up to Umbreon's section, though Gliscor offered them both congratulations.

"Let's see…. ah yes….Plusle, Parasect, Froga-"

"Ahem!" came a squeak of rage.

"Oh…. yes…sorry Whimsicott," Victini said, a little embarrassed. "Frogadier, get up there too."

Plusle threw her arms around Shuckle and hugged him until Victini barked at her to go to her proper place. She gave Shuckle an apologetic look and hopped up to the section representing him.

Whismicott, still grumbling about her lot in life, flew over to Umbreon's section. Maybe she knew what it was like to be ignored.

Parasect glared at Umbreon, unimpressed by her underhanded tactics, so he scuttled over to Shuckle's section as well. Frogadier looked a bit conflicted but decided that Umbreon needed more supporters.

"Misdreavus, Lopunny, Minccino, Braixen!"

Misdreavus flew up to Shuckle's section, giggling maniacally to herself, Lopunny hopping up Umbreon's. Minccino chose to support Shuckle, with Braixen sauntering after her.

"Sableye, Ninjask, Audino, and Carbink. Come on up!"

Sableye pat Shuckle on the back and darted over to his section, followed by Ninjask, who gave him a respectful nod. Audino, who was friends with Umbreon, eagerly skipped up to her section, but Carbink tried to argue that he didn't want either competitor to win. Victini responded by shooting a flame at his butt, and yelping, he flew over to Umbreon's section.

"Swampert, Ampharos, Donphan, and Grovyle."

Swampert seemed to hesitate, before nodding and deciding to choose Shuckle's section. Ampharos and Donphan moved to Umbreon's. Grovyle flipped a coin, and joined Umbreon's side as a result, giving a sheepish shrug to Shuckle.

"Ivysaur, Sylveon, Infernape, and Slowking."

Ivysaur joined his friends on Umbreon's side, followed by an excited Sylveon. Infernape mouthed 'Tinker Bell' before jumping onto Umbreon's side, followed by a chuckling Slowking.

"Ouch, none of them supported me?" Shuckle asked. "That kinda bites."

"Relax, drama queen, I'll join your side."

"Zorua!" Shuckle gasped. "You're okay!"

"Right as rain," Zorua said, giving him a high five. "What can I say? Audino is one hell of a healer. Nice job finally taking Scrafty out."

She moved up to his section, blowing Ampharos a kiss, before she realized the cameras were trained on her and blushed furiously.

"Okay, next time let me announce you!" Victini growled. "Tep-"

"Tepig here!" Tepig slid into the scene, tipping his fedora. Cheers erupted, and he bowed for the crowd.

"Where the hell is that track coming from?" Victini asked, whirling around.

"I gave up my powers, but they let me keep an imaginary audience to laugh whenever I make a joke," Tepig said. On cue, the invisible crowd chortled.

"Okay that's enough Tepig, you've had way too much screen time this season," Victini snapped. "Off with you."

Tepig rolled his eyes and walked over to Shuckle's side, wrapping arm around Minccino.

"Okay then. We have Lucario, Scrafty, and Gallade."

Lucario walked over, and Shuckle immediately threw her an apologetic look. Lucario waved him off and gave an easy smile, sitting down next to Zorua.

Scrafty was met with a chorus of boos (amplified by Tepig's invisible audience). He grinned at it, pretending to conduct it for a movement before, to Shuckle's shock, flopping down next to Swampert.

"Why the hell did he…" Shuckle whispered.

Gallade was last to arrive, giving the cast a lazy wave. He too chose Shuckle's section, though he gave Grovyle a wink.

"Unfortunately, Charizard couldn't make it, for reasons that I'm not at liberty to say," Victini said. "He did tell me to say that he wishes both of you luck and apologizes for his earlier behavior."

Victini cleared his throat. "Okay, since everyone's here, we can-"

A portal opened on the ground, and Giratina burst out, letting out a roar. He was covered head to toe in Umbreon merchandise.

"Oh god dammit," Umbreon said, letting out a deep sigh. "I'M NOT TAKING YOU BACK!"

"BUT OUR RULE OVER THIS PLANET WOULD BE PERFECT! OUR OFFSPRING WOULD CONQUER ARCEUS HIMSELF!"

Victini slapped himself in the face. "Giratina, we're busy, so can you-"

"NEVER! I WILL SUPPORT MY NIGHTMARE QUEEN IN HER TIME OF GREATEST VICTORY!"

Bidoof narrowed his eyes. "Leave her alone. She's not interested."

Giratina cackled. "OH YEAH? WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO, LITTLE GOPHER? FIGHT ME?"

"Maybe I will," Bidoof growled. "Back off."

"ENOUGH!" Victini shouted. "Giratina, just…go sit at Umbreon's section. Please. I'm tired of the migraines you give me."

"Fine," Giratina hissed, and nearly squashed Infernape under his weight.

"Okay, now that everybody's here," Victini said through gritted teeth. "You two can see your supporters and enemies. This will play a part in the challenge to come."

"Which will be?" Shuckle asked.

"The winning conditions to end the competition are simple. The Total Pokkemon Island flag is sitting atop Mount Victory, which stands smack dab in the middle of the island. Grab the flag at the summit of the mountain, and you win the game."

"So…it's a race to the top?" Shuckle asked, his face falling.

"No, my sweet little endolith, it's much more complicated than that," Victini said with a devilish grin.

"But you just said-"

"Quiet!" Victini hissed. "Let me finish!"

"Oh man, this is just like old times," Ninjask cackled. "Somehow you've gotten worse at stringing sentences together."

"Shut up, Ninjask!" Victini snarled. "Anyway, I'll teleport both of you to random locations on the island, and you'll work your way to the mountain from there. Hindering you will be the competitors that decided to support your rival in this game. They'll be littered all around the island, and they'll attack you on sight."

"Wait, that means I have to fight Swampert and Gallade?" Umbreon asked, gaping.

"And I have to go against Slowking?" Shuckle gulped.

"But fear not," Victini said. "You'll each be allowed five allies to help you."

"Do we get to pick them?" Shuckle asked, looking longingly at Swampert.

"Nope," Victini said, wiping the grin off Shuckle's face. "Hariyama and I have decided to pick your closest relationships judging by past footage of the show. You better hope your friends were powerful!"

He thought for a moment. "Because Munchlax and Bidoof volunteered last challenge, they're guaranteed to be on your respective squads. Have fun with them!"

"Wait, Bidoof's not on my team?" Shuckle said, looking sad. Bidoof kicked the grass awkwardly.

"Hey, it's okay? At least you have me?" Munchlax asked, scratching his head.

"Yeah, but I was really hoping for the squad to be back together," Shuckle said sadly.

"Too bad," Victini said. "Are you two ready? Shake hands and we'll be off."

Shuckle and Umbreon faced each other, Shuckle biting his lip and Umbreon giving a wry grin.

"Good luck, Umbreon," Shuckle said, holding out an arm. "You're not a bad person to lose to, if it comes down to it."

"Don't bail out on me now," Umbreon said, raising an eyebrow. "I've seen how competent you can be when you go hard. I want a challenge."

"Then I'll be sure to give you one," Shuckle replied with a cool gaze.

They shook hands, and Victini snapped his fingers as Tepig's crowd roared. Twelve Pokemon vanished to parts unknown.

0000

"At long last…I have returned!" Pidgey squeaked. "Prepare to be annihilated, Umbreon."

0000

"Of course, we'd end up at the beach," Umbreon growled. "I hate sand."

She glanced around at her new teammates. Bidoof, Sylveon, Infernape, Audino, and…. Talonflame?

"Wait, since when were we close?" Umbreon asked, raising an eyebrow.

Talonflame shrugged. "Charizard was supposed to be here, but since he's unavailable they picked another fire-flying type."

"Ugh, this team is trash," Umbreon said. "Two idiots, a scared girl, the guy who was eliminated first, and Audino. We're dead."

"Well, that would be rather disappointing," came a low voice. "After all, it's been a while since I've gotten an interesting fight."

"Who said that?" Audino asked.

"Oh, crap baskets," Bidoof mumbled.

Swampert surfaced from the water behind them, stretching his muscles. He gave the five Pokemon staring at him with an amused smile.

"We-we have to fight you first?" Sylveon asked, trembling.

"Afraid so." Electivire stomped down the slope of the beach, boxing the five Pokemon between him and Swampert. "You better be prepared for this, or you'll lose the challenge right from the get go."

"Can't you attack us one at a time?" Infernape asked, a bit nervously.

"Or like…not at all?" Umbreon asked.

"Please," Talonflame said with a cocky grin, flapping his wings. "They won't even be able to hit me."

"Stop being a cocky dumbass," Umbreon growled. "You were eliminated first. I hope you don't expect me to have hopes in your competence here."

"…. why did I choose to back you again?" Talonflame asked, mystified.

"Guys," Audino said, as Electivire and Swampert charged. "Can we focus?"

0000

"Electivire and I trained quite a bit after our eliminations. We know each other's fighting styles front and back," Swampert admitted. "We've been looking for someone to finally test our newfound power against."

0000

Electivire grinned. "I want to fight the monkey boy over there."

0000

"Huh, we're in a cave," Shuckle said. He looked at his allies. Bidoof, Sableye, Plusle, Zorua, and…. Scrafty?

"Oh lovely," the hoodlum said, rolling his eyes. "Now I have to help the one who ruined my chances at winning. How poetic."

Shuckle glared. "Why would you be one of my allies? I hate your guts."

"And I yours," Scrafty said. "I guess they thought our relationship was so entertaining they decided to force us together."

"Well, if you're going to sabotage me, get it over with," Shuckle said. "I really don't want to do deal with your bullshit on my final day."

"I won't," Scrafty said with a huff. "I'm not going to let the person who beat me lose. My pride won't allow it."

"Bullshit!" Zorua snapped. "Scrafty nearly put me in a coma. Like hell I'm helping him!"

"Come on guys, Scrafty screwed everyone here over at least once, right?" Munchlax asked. "Can't we just cooperate now and beat him up later?"

"He never bothered me," Sableye chattered.

"Not helping, buddy."

"Sorry."

"Look, fact of the matter is, you know how competent I am," Scrafty said, lighting a cigarette. "I may be a shitty person, but your best chance of winning this is with my help. I wouldn't throw this chance away."

Munchlax and Plusle exchanged a glance, before nodding. Zorua was still glaring at Scrafty, but Shuckle cleared his throat.

"I'm going to work with him, Zorua," Shuckle said with an apologetic glance. "I really can't afford to waste him."

"Fine," Zorua said reluctantly, folding her arms. "But only if we get to use him as a meat shield."

"Deal," Shuckle said, nodding.

The cigarette fell out of Scrafty's mouth. "Hold on….what?-"

"Hehe, thanks for revealing your plans!"

Shuckle looked up in horror. Floating in front of them was Whimsicott.

"I knew I could use my lack of presence against you!" Whimsicott growled. "And now I know your party. Slowking will be happy to plan around it."

"Oh no," Shuckle whimpered. "Slowking cannot know ANYTHING about us! Get her!"

Munchlax dove, but Whimsicott twirled to the side. She stuck out her tongue, before flying away, heading for the mouth of the cave. Zorua and Sableye sprinted after, but slid to a stop when Ivysaur, Donphan, and Ampharos came into view, blocking their path.

"What ho, comrades!" Donphan said, brandishing his sword. "I knew they were nearby!"

"Sorry guys," Ivysaur said, looking sheepish. "We have to bring you down now."

"Meh," Sableye said, raising his claws in defense. "It's three on four. We can take them."

"Sableye, there are five of us," Munchlax said, scratching his head.

"Oh sorry," Sableye said with a giggle. "Three on four and Munchlax."

"Hey!"

"You're still wrong," came a new voice. From the cavern behind them emerged Grovyle, the leaves on her arms sharpened into leaves. "It's four on four."

"Really?" Munchlax asked. "You're all going to-"

"Shut up, Munchlax," Zorua snapped. "We'd better finish this up quickly, Shuckle. If Whimsicott gets away we're screwed."

Shuckle groaned. "Why can't I ever get the easy way out?"

0000

"I wrote out a whole speech for our climactic appearance," Donphan said, excited. "Too bad Victini accidentally burned it to cinders with his flamethrower attack."

0000

"In all honesty, I kind of just stumbled on the group. Caves are pretty hard to navigate," Grovyle admitted, a little sheepish.

0000

"Looks like both teams started battling," Victini said, watching the footage from a massive tv screen that Hariyama had dragged over earlier. "I wonder who will come up on top."

"IT WILL BE UMBREON! SHE WILL FEAST UPON HIS SOUL!" Giratina screeched.

"Uh…yeah," Victini said, a strained smile on his face. "Well, it's time to cut for commercial. We'll check progress in another few minutes!"

Victini rubbed his hands together. "Well, let's head to the top of that ice mountain, shall we? I have some friends up there waiting for us."

Giratina hissed. "Social interaction."

"Come on man, you have to leave you room sometimes," Victini said.

"Not when your room is an entire dimension," Giratina countered.

"Well, whatever, you don't have to come, it's not like you were invited," Victini said. "Oh man, Hariyama better have brought the chicken wings."

"You…have chicken wings?"

"Yeah man, Moltres' special," Victini said with a grin. "We stole a bunch from him."

"Hrrggggh dammit I'll come!" Giratina snarled. "For the chicken wings! The chicken wings and nothing else!"

0000

Giratina was stuffing copious amounts of wings down his throat. "You don't understand what food is in the distortion world. It's like Kale and literally nothing else! Have you tried eating kale? It's like poison on your tongue!"

0000

"Uh please don't let Giratina's grumbling turn you off from eating kale," Grovyle said, chuckling a little awkwardly. "Kale is high in fiber, has no fat, and is low in calories, so it's great to eat if you want to lose weight!" She took a bite out of some kale in her hand, shuddering for a moment, before putting on a brave face. "S-see? Delicious!"

0000

Electivire and Infernape fought back and forth, their fists flying faster than the human eye could comprehend. Sylveon and Bidoof yelped in pain as Swampert slammed down his fist in an earthquake, sending them flying backwards. Talonflame flew around the mudfish at high speeds, squawking challenges and dodging blasts of water.

"We need a plan," Audino said as she used a heal pulse on Sylveon. Umbreon let out a sigh, wracking her brain for an idea on how to get out of this bullshit situation.

Swampert grunted in pain as Talonflame finally managed to get under his guard, scoring a strike to his abdomen. He slid back, clutching his chest as Talonflame flew out of range.

"I must admit, I underestimated you," Swampert said, nodding.

"One of the few benefits of being eliminated first," Talonflame agreed, flashing a cocky grin. "I'm pretty damn good at what I do."

"Good," Swampert said, launching himself forward. "At least I can expect a proper challenge."

Meanwhile Infernape finally made a mistake, throwing a punch that Electivire was able to dodge. The electric type wrapped a firm wire around the monkey's hand, before releasing all of his electricity. Infernape screamed and writhed in pain, before collapsing onto the sand.

"Déjà vu…." Infernape murmured.

Electivire grinned and blasted off another lighting strike, but a Moonblast collided with it, creating an explosion. Sylveon was glaring at Electivire, ribbons at the ready.

"You? Want to fight me?" Electivire asked in mock disbelief. "Look, I may be trying to be nicer, but we both know how this is going to end."

"You're not the only one who's changed!" Sylveon growled, refusing to back down. "I can't wait to show you what I've learned!"

"Umbreon," Audino gasped as she dragged Infernape to a safe spot, using Sylveon's distraction as a means heal the monkey safely. "Can you please contribute? I only have so much PP."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm thinking," Umbreon snapped. "You fight while I plan. That's a fair way to divvy it up, right?'

"You can't just sit on the sidelines and bark orders!" Audino protested.

"Shuckle did it for half a season and no one gave him shit for it," Umbreon said, rolling her eyes.

Bidoof sprinted forward, hyping himself up as he launched himself towards Swampert. Letting out a whoop of joy, he launched forward, striking him in the stomach.

Swampert actually woofed in pain, doubling over, and Talonflame's eyes gleamed. The bird shot down, talons outstretched, ready to take down his opponent while he was vulnerable.

Letting out a roar, Swampert spun and slapped Bidoof into the air, right into an unsuspecting Talonflame. Bidoof collided with the fire type's head, and they both crashed into the sand.

Swampert stomped over, and while Bidoof managed to roll out of his path, Talonflame was still disoriented. He looked up and paled as Swampert's shadow loomed over him, the mudfish raising both fists high in the air.

Talonflame flinched, but a shadow ball struck Swampert in the jaw, sending him stumbling back a few feet.

"There see," Umbreon growled, charging up another shadow ball. "I'm contributing. Can you stop yanking on my dick now?"

She launched a second shadow ball, but Swampert slapped it to the side, completely ignoring Audino as she darted over to heal Talonflame. He walked towards his new target, slowly picking up speed.

"Time to test your strength, Finalist," Swampert said, running forward.

Umbreon gulped. "Okay, that wasn't really intended to be challenging. I just wanted to create the illusion of helping my team while actually getting high in the corner-you're not stopping."

Swampert raised a fist, and Umbreon tensed, but in the next moment Electivire smacked into him, throwing both off balance.

"You want more!?" Sylveon snarled, sprinting forward. "COME ON YOU PUSSIES!"

"Really?" Swampert said, raising an eyebrow. "You're losing to her-whoa."

A ribbon wrapped around her and Swampert's arms. Face set and determined, Sylveon let out a roar and slammed their heads together, before sending them spinning off to different sides.

"Now's our chance to finish them off!" Sylveon shouted.

Electivire tried to shake off his headache, but Umbreon and Bidoof tackled him, throwing up sand around them as they pinned him down. Infernape sprinted towards Swampert with a crazed grin, punching his chest repeatedly.

"Punching solves every problem!" Infernape said, before looking at Swampert's unamused face. "So, um…if you expressed pain it'd really help boost my confidence?"

Swampert responded by grabbing his arms and yanking them down to his sides. He reared his head back, before slamming into Infernape's skull. The monkey slid through the sand, unearthing shells and sending them flying.

A pair of talons dug into Swampert's shoulders, and he froze.

"Thanks for the distraction pal!" Talonflame said in appreciation, as Infernape gave a dizzy thumbs up. "You're mine."

Swampert tried to wrench himself free, but Talonflame launched himself in the air, dragging Swampert with him. The mudfish struggled, but soon ceased when he noticed how high up he was.

"Just try to land as softly as you can dude," Talonflame chuckled into Swampert's ear. He performed a triple flip, building up momentum before he finally threw Swampert down to earth with as much force as he could muster.

At the same time, Electivire finally knocked Bidoof and Umbreon off him, before sending a discharge to blast them away.

"Nice try," Electivire said, taking a deep breath. "But it'll take more than an edgy fox and a gopher to-"

He looked up. "Son of a bitch."

Swampert slammed into him in an explosion of sand that flew into everyone else's eyes.

"Hell yeah!" Talonflame said, flying down to earth. "How badass is that for the first one eliminated?"

"Are you kidding? You completely ruined my eyes you dick," Umbreon snarled, trying to wipe at them.

"Ow! God! This is the worst kind of pain!" Sylveon yelped.

"I'd rather get pummeled by Swampert again then go through this hell!" Infernape screeched.

Talonflame sighed. "I can never win with you people."

"So, where the hell do we go next?" Umbreon asked. "I'd point out the direction myself, but SOMEONE here likes cruel and unusual punishment."

"Will you get over yourself? A little bit of sand isn't going to kill you," Talonflame said. "Anyway, the fastest way to the mountain is behind a pretty thick forest. You guys want to go for it?"

"Why not? I'd rather get jumped in a forest then spending any longer on this stupid island then I have to. Let's move it."

The squad of five marched forward, but Audino fell back, giving Sylveon a pat on the back.

"You were so aggressive today," she pointed out, a look of awe on her face. "How did you learn to do that?"

"I spent some time training after I was eliminated," Sylveon admitted with a shrug. "Lucario had a whole fitness routine written out for me before I left."

0000

"Learning self-defense really boosted my confidence too," Sylveon said with a nod. "Like, if I'm feeling really uncomfortable I can just judo flip the other person."

0000

Shuckle tried to keep track of the battle, but it was pure chaos. Scrafty and Grovyle sparred, the hoodlum doing a fairly good job at dodging the gecko's vicious leaf blades. Munchlax was shouting as he ran away as fast as possible, chased by a sword-swinging Donphan. Plusle was faring a little better, dodging Ivysaur's vine whips before throwing a few well-placed jolts to damage the grass type. Ampharos seemed to be hesitating, unwilling to attack his opponent, Zorua.

"Honey, you know I love you, but if you don't step aside I'm willing to shove your hand up your own ass," Zorua said as sweetly as she could. In his hesitation, he failed to notice Sableye sneaking up behind him.

"Haha, kinky," Munchlax said with a giggle, before Donphan rammed into him. "Oof!"

Ampharos took a deep sigh. "Sorry Zorua. I hate to do this, but I feel obligated to-"

"Gotcha!" Sableye crowed, landing a fake out that caught the electric type off guard. Zorua used the distraction to her advantage, sliding between Ampharos' legs and darting after Whimsicott.

Ampharos spun around, but Zorua already turned invisible. "Aww….man."

"Hey Shuckle!" Munchlax yelped, as Donphan pinned him down, holding his to his throat. "Little help? Also, what the heck is that thing made of?"

Shuckle threw a string shot that wrapped around Donphan's trunk and yanked on it to throw the elephant off Munchlax. The small bear launched forward, his belly bouncing Donphan into Ampharos, bowling them both over.

Scrafty grunted as Grovyle kicked him against the wall, before he dodged a leaf blade that struck the wall of rock where his head had been a mere moment before. He stumbled back, raising his fists defensively.

"Why do you insist on only bringing me down," Scrafty asked, rolling his eyes. "We didn't get along that poorly."

"You were the one who got me eliminated in the first place you little weasel," Grovyle growled. "Trust me, the others want to beat you up way more than I do, but I at least want my fair share."

Plusle let out a gasp of pain as Ivysaur finally managed to strike her, and she slid next to Shuckle. At the same time, Ampharos sent Sableye flying back with a thunder punch, while Donphan and Ivysaur rose unsteadily to their feet.

"We're outclassed," Plusle grumbled, brushing herself off. "Any bright ideas?"

Shuckle narrowed his eyes. "They might be decent fighters, but I know that alliance. They're clumsy, so if we can take advantage of that…."

"Hey, I take offense to that!" Ivysaur shouted.

"Ooh, that reminds me, we got you a present!" Sableye said, clapping his hands. "We were going to wait until after you won, but now's a good a time as any. It even responds to voice commands."

"So, what do I say?" Shuckle asked.

"Roy Mustang!" Munchlax piped up.

"Okay….uh…R-roy Mustang?" Shuckle said, almost asking the question.

A circle appeared on the ground, before a sleek, silver wagon teleported at the center of it.

"Alchemy: the science of understanding, deconstructing, and reconstructing matter. However, it is not an all-powerful art. It is impossible to create something out of nothing. If one wishes to obtain something, something of equal value must be given. This is the law of equivalent exchange; the basis of all alchemy. In accordance to this law, there is a taboo among alchemists. Human transmutation is strictly forbidden. For what could equal the value of a human soul?"

The vehicle shuddered with power and gleamed. "Full Wagon Alchemist."

Shuckle gaped. "You got me a sentient wagon? That also spouts anime references?"

"Oh, I do far more than references, Shuckle," the wagon said. "Give me a command and start exchanging."

"Wait, but…. what?" Shuckle asked.

"I can manipulate and alter matter by using energy. For example, try an open flame."

"I uh…feel like we should be stopping this," Ivysaur said with a gulp.

"Nay," Donphan said, letting out a hearty chuckle. "I welcome the challenge, haggis-breath! I'll give ya a joogly wilky!"

"Oh wonderful," Ampharos said, rolling his eyes. "He's Scottish now!"

"Hey Scrafty, can I borrow your lighter?" Shuckle asked.

"Fuck off!" Scrafty shouted, still battling Grovyle. Grovyle grinned and landed a vicious leaf blade on the hoodlum, and he rolled across the ground.

"Ugh, take it from him guys," Shuckle said, rolling his eyes.

"On it!" Sableye chattered, running for Scrafty, but Grovyle growled and pounced at him.

"Oh no you don't!" She shouted, swinging her blades, but Plusle zapped her, and Munchlax used body slam to knock her backwards.

Ivysaur's vines casted out, wrapping around Plusle and Munchlax, but Scrafty rose to his feet, spinning and kicking the grass type away. Plusle and Munchlax flew free as Donphan and Ampharos lunged into the fray, creating a cloud of dust.

Finally, Sableye rolled out of the pile of fighting Pokemon. The lighter was in his hand.

"Shuckle! Here!" He screeched, throwing the lighter to Shuckle a split second before Donphan clubbed him with the back of his sword.

Shuckle caught it, staring as Ampharos, Ivysaur, Grovyle, and Donphan charged him. Shuckle flicked on the lighter.

An explosion of heat flew up, absorbing the four Pokemon up in the flames. Shuckle's eyes glowed wide as he saw his wagon was the one creating the power.

"Whoa," Plusle said, helping Munchlax to his feet. Sableye giggled and clapped his hands, while Scrafty used the flames to light a cigarette. When the power faded, all four Pokemon lay in an unconscious pile.

"Wow," Shuckle said. "That was an impressive lightshow, Wagon."

"Please," the wagon said. "Call me Roy Mustang."

0000

"I want my lighter back," Scrafty growled.

0000

"I will not yield, to kiss the ground before young Shuckle's feet, and to be baited with the rabble's curse," Donphan said.

0000

Whimsicott flew out of the cave, letting out a little giggle. With any luck, she'd call the rest of the Pokemon challenging Shuckle forward, so they could ambush him the moment he'd try to leave the cave. Still, where was everybody? And why did it feel like someone was pulling on her hair!?

She looked up, face to face with Zorua, who was sitting on her head.

Zorua let out a yawn. "S'up."

Before Whimsicott could strike, Zorua nailed a pressure point, and her entire face sized up and collapsed. Zorua rolled away safely, brushing herself off.

A moment later, Shuckle and his posse exited the cave, wincing a little at the sudden bright light.

"New toy?" Zorua asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Meet Roy Mustang," Shuckle said. "The boys gave it to me since my last wagon blew up. Whimsicott?"

Zorua gestured to the unconscious grass type. "Wasted."

"Nice," Shuckle said. "So, I guess we need to get to the top of that mountain then, huh?"

"Well, if we keep going straight we'll run right into it, right?" Plusle said. "Still, we'd better hurry. There's still a bunch of Pokemon trying to waylay us, and we need to get to the top before Umbreon."

"Then let's go," Shuckle said. "Sableye installed a motor in my new wagon. We'll be off in no time."

0000

"I had a lot of time to tinker while I was at that loser's resort," Sableye explained. "Roy Mustang is the end result of all my hard work."

He sniffed, wiping away a tear. "I'm just…. I'm just so proud."

0000

"Hey Talonflame," Umbreon gasped, as she and her team sprinted their way through the thick forest. "Question."

"Yeah?" Talonflame looked over at her from where he was flying. Unlike her, he hadn't even broken a sweat."

"Can't you just fly me to the top of the mountain?" Umbreon asked.

"Technically we're just supposed to be bodyguards," Talonflame explained, shrugging. "You need to get to the top on your own."

"I don't know," Umbreon said, rolling her eyes. "That sounds pretty contrived to me."

"Dude, we're on Fanfiction dot net, not AMC," Talonflame said. "What the hell do you expect?"

Before Umbreon could respond, a Poke ball shot towards them. Umbreon rolled to the side as she felt it zip past her ear. "What the hell?"

"Sniper!" Audino shouted. "Get down!"

The six Pokemon dove for cover as the sniper fired again, the ball narrowly missing Sylveon this time.

"We get hit by one of those balls, we're trapped for the rest of the challenge," Audino hissed. "Be careful."

"How are they flying so fast, though?" Infernape asked. "Are they using some sort of sniper rifle that only shoots Poke balls?"

"Infernape, that would be retarded," Umbreon drawled from behind the tree she had crouched under.

0000

"Wow, I sure love this Poke ball-firing sniper rifle that I appropriated from Sableye," Tepig said, looking through the scope. "I reckon I might actually hit one of the buggers this time."

"Okay," Minccino said, peering down at their opponents. "I guess we can draw them out from their hiding spots, so you can have a clear shot."

"Yes, brilliant deduction, my dear second in command," Parasect chuckled, clicking his pinchers. "Parasect and his platoon will be remembered for ruling Pokkemon Island!"

"Parasect, we're not on teams and you're not a captain anymore," Minccino said, rolling her eyes. "So that means I'm not your second in command."

Parasect gulped. "B-but…but…"

"Can we just go already?" Ninjask snapped. "My wings are falling asleep, and if I hear Parasect's obnoxious voice again I'm ripping them off."

"Right, all right, we can go," Minccino said with a huff. "God, I forgot it was like to be the team mom."

0000

"Minccino gave me permission to light the entire forest on fire if I need to," Braixen said with a dark chuckle. "Plus, Grovyle's nowhere to be found, so now there's nothing in my way."

0000

"Okay, we're just sitting Ducklett at this point," Sylveon said as Bidoof ducked to avoid the Pokeball shot his way. "We can't hide here forever or Shuckle will win!"

"Well, what do you propose?" Audino asked. "Maybe if we can get Talonflame to draw their fire…."

"HYAAAA!" a piercing screech could be heard, followed by Pidgey landing a few feet away from Bidoof. "A hero emerges, ready to take you down!"

"Oh, Arceus, I did not miss you," Umbreon growled.

"Aha! I bet you did not!" Pidgey boasted. "For I am here to slay you, wench! FOR I AM PIDGEY, THE ULTIMATE WARRI-"

Infernape picked him up by one of his legs. "Sorry, Guy, but you're messing with our team's grove."

"Wait, at least let me finish my speech-GAAAH!" Pidgey screamed as Infernape punched him far away.

"Well, he jumped the gun, but the rest of us won't go down so easy!" Minccino said, walking into view. Smeargle and Parasect walked forward from either side, chuckling darkly, while Ninjask flew into view above them. Braixen's expression was downright psychotic as she lit her stick on fire.

"Think you can beat all of us while simultaneously avoiding Tepig's fire?" Minccino asked, a confident grin on her face. "I don't need to gather evidence to know how this is going to end."

Umbreon groaned. "Nickel for every time I heard that..."

0000

"Lopunny, Machamp, and Lucario," Shuckle remarked, looking at the three facing him. "Well, I'm screwed."

Shuckle's team had made it to the cabins, which wasn't too far off from Mt. Victory, but they had been ambushed.

"Look, just give me Scrafty and I'm cool," Lucario said, shrugging. "Little shit knows what he has coming for him."

"Deal!" Shuckle said.

"What?" Scrafty hissed.

"Much obliged," Lucario said, charging up her aura. "Good luck with the other two."

She sprinted forward faster than the eye could track, kicking Scrafty in the face hard enough to send him flying.

"I want my lighter back you son of a biiiiiiiiitch!" Scrafty shouted as he flew.

Machamp cracked his knuckles. "Shame, but we still have reinforcements."

He gestured over to the top of one of the cabins, where Frogadier had landed. The blue frog bowed. Next to him was a grumpy Carbink. Gliscor was gliding in the air between the cabins, his arms folded.

"And we are right back to being screwed!" Shuckle said. "Lovely!"

"Not if I have anything to say about it," Roy Mustang said. "Might I recommend some of my special features?"

"Uh, be my guest," Shuckle said, scratching his head. The wagon shuddered with power, before revealing spikes that jutted out from the sides, rocket dispensers, and swiveling laser guns that could spin 360 degrees.

Shuckle practically drooled at the sight. "This is the most beautiful thing I've ever laid eyes on."

The wagon turned, facing the cabin that Frogadier and Carbink were standing on. "Target locked."

"Uh-oh," Frogadier gulped.

Roy Mustang launched two rockets that screamed through the air as they flew towards the cabin at high speeds. Frogadier was quick enough to dive off the cabin in time, but Carbink merely widened his eyes.

When the smoke cleared, the cabin was revealed to be reduced to cinders.

"Get him!" Machamp barked, as he and Lopunny sprinted forward. Frogadier lunged as well, forcing Shuckle's team to get into defensive positions.

0000

"Victini is okay with allowing campers to level camp to the ground?" Hariyama asked, sitting next to Victini in the confessional.

"Well, yeah dude," Victini said, shrugging. "It's the final episode. In all honesty it saves a lot of time for cleanup."

0000

Scrafty bounced off a tree, right into Lucario's kick, which pressed deep into his stomach. She twirled back, and the hoodlum fell flat on his face.

"Ow, hey, can we take a break or something?" Scrafty asked, struggling to rise. He reached for a cigarette but realized that Shuckle still had his lighter. "Son of a bitch."

"Uhh, nope!" Lucario said cheerfully, aiming an aura sphere point black. "Next time think before screwing my chance at winning a ton of money."

The aura sphere caught Scrafty in his already weak stomach, and it carried Scrafty twenty feet before collapsing him into the grass.

Lucario hummed merrily to herself as she skipped over to her fallen rival.

0000

Unlike Swampert and Electivire, the Pokemon fighting Umbreon's squad weren't the cream of the crop. In fact, they probably would have defeated them much earlier on if it hadn't been for Tepig's marksmanship.

Braixen was cackling like the witch she was, performing ballroom dances as she shot fire out of her wand. Infernape weaved in and out, trying to find an opening, but often had to abandon his efforts to dodge potshots from Tepig.

Sylveon growled as she faced off against Smeargle and Minccino at the same time, shooting off dazzling gleams and moon blasts that they struggled to avoid. Smeargle swung his paintbrush-like tail, coating the fairy type in paint that stung against her skin, while Minccino used her quick speed to occasionally land strikes when her guard was down.

Parasect and Umbreon squared off, with Umbreon doing her best to avoid Parasect's super effective X-scissors. Despite his melodrama and stiff personality, she had to admit the guy wasn't a bad fighter.

Ninjask and Talonflame circled around each other in the air, colliding and moving at high speeds. Talonflame aimed a brave bird, but Ninjask created multiple copies of himself. Talonflame flew into the wrong one and wound up crashing into a tree. Ninjask snickered in the air behind him, his speed boost ability proceeding to make himself even faster.

Audino, who was watching from the sidelines, immediately moved forward to heal Talonflame, dragging the dizzy bird over behind some trees for cover.

"Gotcha!" Sylveon shouted triumphantly, wrapping a ribbon around Minccino. Before she could do anything, however, Smeargle threw a glob of paint into her eyes.

"Ow! Hey! No fair!" Sylveon screeched, stumbling back. She dropped Minccino, who scrambled away as quickly as possible. Meanwhile, Smeargle gave a confident grin as he sauntered over to the blinded fairy type.

"Sorry, Mon Amour, but sometimes these things happen," Smeargle said. Sylveon lunged blindly but missed as Smeargle pirouetted to the side, humming the French national anthem under his breath.

Meanwhile, Infernape managed to roll under Braixen's flames, throwing a fist, but fast as thought Braixen threw up a barrier that stopped the punch cold. As Infernape clutched his fist with a yelp, Braixen twirled her wand, pinning Infernape to a tree with her psychic powers.

"He's all yours, Tepig!" Braixen shouted.

Infernape gulped, closing his eyes, but just as Tepig fired, Audino tackled Braixen. The concentration broke, and Infernape collapsed as a Poke ball missed where he had been propped up a split second before.

"Ow! Get off!" Braixen snarled, wrestling over the wand with Audino. They fought back and forth, with Braixen growling for Tepig to shoot her.

Parasect cursed and lunged, this time catching Umbreon in the shoulder with his pincher. Parasect cackled as Umbreon let out a whimper of pain.

"Ha! Take that, you scoundrel!" Parasect laughed as Umbreon struggled to get free. "Come now, did you really believe you stood a chance against the illustrious Parasect!?"

Umbreon growled, before headbutting him as hard as she could.

"Ow!" Parasect yelped. "How dare you? Do you believe that mere guerilla tactics and cheap tricks are enough to-"

Umbreon headbutted him again.

"Ow, you bitch!" Parasect shrieked, stumbling back. Umbreon followed up with a dark pulse that sent him tumbling away.

At the same time, Braixen finally won her struggle with Audino, blasting her back with a shot of fire. Audino hit the ground in a roll, before being struck by one of Tepig's Poke ball. She let out a gasp of shock as she entered it, and the ball locked.

Braixen grinned at her victory, but Infernape struck her behind, before delivering a Mach punch to her stomach. Braixen howled and collapsed to her knees as Infernape threw a roundhouse kick to finish her off.

"Eh, it's not punching but it'll do," Infernape said, wiping sweat from his brow.

Ninjask collapsed on the ground, groaning and cursing. Talonflame perched down on a tree, a shit-eating grin on his face.

"Aerial Ace. Never misses," the bird said. The two fire types grinned at each other, before they were forced to scatter as Tepig fired on them again.

"Someone really needs to take that guy out," the bird hissed, ducking behind a tree.

0000

Ninjask rubbed his head. "Talonflame hits like a friggin' truck. I'm beginning to remember why we voted his ass off in the first place."

0000

"Good to see I finally get a chance to shine," Talonflame said with a deep breath. "Look, I really wasn't in the need for the money, but getting out first sure was a blow to my pride."

0000

Tepig moved, switching up his vantage point. When his dear old mum took him to the gun range she warned him that staying in one place and firing would make him easier to track down. He had nailed Audino, but the other Pokemon were quick enough to get behind cover. He needed the element of surprise on his side.

He was used to being loud and obnoxious, but Tepig always prided himself on how stealthy he could be when he wanted, so if he just could find a way to get behind Umbreon and her friends…

It wasn't difficult, considering how hard pressed they were to fight against their other opponents. Still though, Smeargle and Minccino were struggling to fight off Infernape, Umbreon, and Talonflame at the same time. They'd be defeated any moment if he didn't intervene, and Minccino would never let him hear the end of it…

Slowly, he aimed the sniper rifle at Umbreon's back.

0000

Bidoof gave a sheepish grin. "My job was to track down Tepig, but I uh….kinda got lost?"

0000

Smeargle grunted in pain as Infernape knocked him back, hitting the ground in a roll. Minccino watched him fall with a surprised expression until Talonflame swooped down, and she was forced to dive out of the way.

"Woo, get them team," Umbreon drawled, not noticing the rustling in the leaves behind them. Infernape noticed, however, and changed tracks as quick as possible, ignoring Smeargle.

The Poke ball shot through the air at Umbreon, who turned around and opened her eyes wide. A second before it would have hit Umbreon Infernape was in the way, and the ball bounced off his chest.

"Stay golden….Ponyboy…." Infernape whispered, before his essence was absorbed in the ball.

"Shit," Umbreon growled, diving to the side as Poke balls pelted the grass. Talonflame was forced to take to the sky to avoid the Poke balls as well, abandoning Minccino.

"Who do we go for?" Smeargle asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Well," Minccino gasped, trying to catch her breath. "Talonflame's in the sky, so maybe not him-"

Sylveon's ribbons wrapped around Minccino's leg and yanked her back, while Smeargle whirled around.

"How did you…" Smeargle whispered, before barely dodging an attack that was far too accurate to be without careful aim.

Sylveon's face was still covered in paint, but her expression was downright terrifying. "My ribbons aren't just for show. They're feelers. Normally they're for solving disputes- "she launched her other ribbons, and they wrapped around Smeargle as well. "-But for you two I'll make an exception."

She threw them against the trees, slamming both their heads against the bark. They fell unconscious, and Sylveon took a deep breath.

"Damn, Sylveon," Umbreon said. "You scary."

Sylveon blushed and became an unintelligible mess.

Umbreon rolled her eyes. "You ruined it." A poke ball missed her head by half an inch.

"Damn it," Umbreon hissed, ducking behind a bush. "I'm not in the mood for this right now."

Sylveon began to wipe at the paint on her face. "Urgh…Talonflame, m-maybe you could fly up and take him out?"

Talonflame spread his wings, but Umbreon raised a paw behind her to stop him. "Hold on. I think I have an idea."

Sylveon and Talonflame both gave her an inquisitive look, but Umbreon took a deep breath and eyed the trees carefully.

"AUSSIE, AUSSIE, AUSSIE!" Umbreon shouted at the top of her lungs.

Tepig peered out from a tree. "OI! OI! OI!"

"Fire!" Umbreon snarled, and she and her friends launched attacks at Tepig at the same time. The pig's eyes widened as the tree exploded around him.

"I cannot believe that worked," Talonflame said in awe.

"Let's go finish him off," Umbreon growled.

Tepig hit the ground in a roll, scrambling back and cursing. He had to get out before-

"Howdy!" came a cheerful voice.

Tepig turned around to face Bidoof, who was grinning at him.

"Er…. I'm not Tepig, I'm Carmen Sandiego!" Tepig said in a falsetto voice.

"Oh…. Okay!" Bidoof said, before delivering a vicious headbutt that knocked Tepig out cold.

"I hate Carmen Sandiego," Bidoof said, skipping off to find his friends.

0000

"Where in the world is Tepig?" Gallade asked. "He was supposed to pick off Umbreon's allies, so we could both fight her on Mt. Victory. I better not be cheated out of my battle with her."

0000

"Okay Lucario, are you done?" Scrafty said, moaning into the dirt. Lucario's foot was digging into his back.

"You know, I think I might have a thing for BDSM," Lucario said, thinking aloud. "Because this feels friggin' awesome."

"Screw you," Scrafty mumbled.

"Or maybe it's just you," Lucario said with a shrug, finally stepping off him. "Well, I'm satisfied. Have a nice day."

Scrafty let out a hacking cough. "Ugh, for what it's worth, I probably deserve this."

"Oh, is this an apology?" Lucario asked, raising an eyebrow. "Speak up please."

"Ugh, yeah, I'm sorry," Scrafty groaned. "You can keep hating me if you want, but in the end, I paid for what I did in more ways than one. You on the other hand, still have a shot. Keep going for Pokken, Lucario, I'm sure you can make it."

Lucario sighed and her expression softened. "I can't hate you forever. C'mere, take my hand."

Scrafty gratefully allowed Lucario to help him up. "Th-thanks." He groaned as he collapsed against her shoulder.

"Whoa, how hard did I beat you up?" Lucario asked with a twinge of pity. "Do you need to go the infirmary? Are you okay?"

"Just peachy," Scrafty growled, a triumphant grin on his face. He brought up his fist, landing a drain punch on Lucario's stomach.

Lucario gasped out in pain as she felt her energy being sapped, and she fell to her knees. "OUUGH! SON OF A BITCH!"

"Thanks for the free health!" Scrafty said with a laugh, sprinting away as Lucario puked on the grass.

"I WILL KILL YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY, SCRAFTY! NOBODY WILL FIND THEIR BODIES!"

Scrafty flinched but sped up.

0000

"Run, Hakamo-o," Scrafty hissed. He had a black eye and was covered in bruises. "Get out while you still can."

0000

"Hi guys!" Bidoof said, skipping out over to Umbreon, Talonflame, and Sylveon.

"There you are," Umbreon said with an exasperated sigh. "What took you so long? Did you take out Tepig?"

"Well, no, but I did give the ol' one two to Carmen Sandiego," Bidoof said.

"Whatever," Umbreon said, rolling her eyes. "Look, Audino and Infernape are out, which means we're on our own. Sylveon, you've been a badass this episode, keep it up."

"Aww, that's so sweet," Sylveon gushed.

"Bidoof, you're uh…contributing, I guess," Umbreon said with a shrug. "Alright, Talonflame. You're going to fly me up the rest of the mountain. My legs are tired."

Talonflame blinked. "I thought I told you-"

"Oh, come on, what's Victini going to do?" Umbreon asked, rolling her eyes. "Even if I'm disqualified it would better than having to fight Gallade. Just stop being a baby and fly me up."

"Fine," Talonflame said, scooping her up and taking to the sky. "Just don't say I didn't warn you."

"You two," Umbreon snapped to Sylveon and Bidoof. "Catch up if you can. We may need backup."

0000

"Look, if I have to climb a mountain it's not worth it," Umbreon explained. "I'm done exerting energy, so if I can get away with someone flying up to it, I will."

0000

"I hate fighting," Shuckle said with a deep sigh.

Shuckle, sitting in his wagon Roy Mustang, was launching attacks at Machamp, who was busy beating the tar out of Munchlax. Sableye was similarly being demolished by Lopunny, who aimed vicious kicks that sent him stumbling backwards.

Plusle was faring better, quick enough to avoid Frogadier's attacks. She launched electric attacks with good aim, though they weren't powerful enough to keep the frog down.

"Machamp is our greatest threat," Roy Mustang said. "It won't be long before he finishes Munchlax off, and I'm not certain we can take him alone."

Shuckle cursed, weighing his options. Munchlax's best quality in a fight was his good health and high defenses, but he couldn't stall Machamp forever. But, if he took out Lopunny and Frogadier, could Machamp possibly be able to fight them all off at once?

"Forget Machamp for now," Shuckle muttered. "Munchlax can hold him off. We have to take down the betas."

"If you say so," Roy Mustang said, shifting to face Lopunny. The earth under them came alive and formed two hands of dirt, flying at Lopunny. Sableye's eyes went wide and he rolled, while Lopunny leaped to the side. She hit the ground in a slide, before hearing a roar behind her.

Lopunny turned, her eyes going wide as she faced the legendary Raikou.

"FOOL!" Raikou shouted, his voice sounding like thunder. Lightning zapped around him, and he eyed Lopunny with loathing. "YOU DARE FACE THE ALMIGHTY RAIKOU!? BEGONE!"

Thunderclouds appeared around Raikou's head, and lightning flashed. Lopunny went pale, before her eyes rolled back into her head and she fainted out of pure terror.

With a flash, Raikou was revealed to be Zorua, who was shuddering with the effort of creating such an intense illusion.

"Wow, nice one!" Plusle said, but Frogadier used her distraction to his advantage and kicked her in the face.

Plusle winced and slid back, but before Frogadier could pursue, Scrafty sucker punched him, sending him spinning. Snickering, Scrafty landed a drain punch, finishing off the poor frog.

"Aw man, Lucario didn't kick his ass?" Shuckle said in disappointment. "Er….I mean, yay! Scrafty's back in."

"God dammit," Machamp grumbled under his breath. "I knew she shouldn't have left."

"You're outnumbered Machamp!" Shuckle announced, aiming Roy Mustang at him. Plusle helped Munchlax up, while Sableye rubbed his hands together and Scrafty stretched himself out.

"Yeah, but not outmatched," Machamp said, a cocky grin on his face. "I beat Donphan and Charizard at the same time. What threat do you people pose? I'm not falling for the vixen's tricks."

Shuckle groaned. "Just open fire, Roy. I'm tired of hearing him bluster."

The land exploded in front of Machamp as Shuckle flicked open the lighter, but when he flicked it off Machamp hadn't faltered, and he sprinted forward, eyes on Shuckle.

"Oh….jeez…" Shuckle said, but Machamp jumped high in the air, above Roy Mustang, and threw his fists down on Zorua, who couldn't move in time. Plusle threw an electric strike, blasting Machamp in the back, while Munchlax ran forward, silently screaming at himself to run into the other direction.

Machamp rolled his eyes and spun like a helicopter, knocking both Pokemon back.

Munchlax groaned, trying to brush himself off, before helping Plusle to her feet. "Hey Plusle, I was wondering if maybe sometime after this... we could go for a smoothie or something?"

"Munchlax, you're sweet, but is this really the best time?" Plusle asked with a worried glance towards Machamp.

"Uh…. I want something to look forward to?" Munchlax asked with a toothy grin, before Machamp sent him flying.

Plusle gulped stumbling back, looking to see if anyone could come to her aid, but Scrafty looked like he didn't want to get involved, and Shuckle was now facing off against Gliscor, who was taking all of his attention. Sableye was trapped in Gliscor's tail grip, choking and trying to break free.

Plusle sighed. There was nothing else for it.

She darted forward, surprising Machamp, who was expecting her to retreat. Using her superior speed, she climbed up Machamp's leg, landing on his back. With a war cry, she released a heavy blast of electricity, causing Machamp to growl in pain.

Munchlax groaned, rising to his feet. "Whoa. Keep it up, Plusle!"

"Ow, Shuckle? Can you get me out from here?" Sableye asked, gagging. "Not that I don't like choking to death, but…"

"Yeah, yeah," Shuckle muttered, glaring at Gliscor, who was avoiding his attacks with ease. "Any chance you can hit him down?"

"Very unlikely," Roy Mustang said. "In fact, I'm calculating the odds, and it's far more likely we'll accidentally hit Sableye."

"Wonderful," Shuckle muttered. "Guess it's time for plan B. Sableye! If your hands are free, use that move we talked about!"

A predatory grin appeared on Sableye's face. Cackling, he adjusted himself, so he was facing Gliscor's stomach. Flexing his fingers, he began to tickle the fang scorp.

Gliscor snorted and struggled, loosening his hold on Sableye. His momentary distraction was enough for Shuckle to throw himself at him, wrapping his arms around Gliscor's wings. The ground type dropped Sableye in surprise as Shuckle jerked him to direct him towards Machamp.

"Ow, hey! Get off me!" Gliscor snapped, but Shuckle's limbs were locked so tight that he couldn't break free.

"Giddyap!" Shuckle shouted, heading right for Machamp's exposed back.

Still, wincing from the electric zaps, Machamp whirled around and narrowed his eyes. Shuckle gritted his teeth. He had to plan this perfectly.

Machamp swung down his fists just as Shuckle leaped free. Gliscor tried to fly out of the way, but Machamp's fists struck down on Gliscor's back, where the bug type had been a second before.

Gliscor groaned and collapsed, hitting the dirt. Shuckle laughed in victory, but Plusle was thrown to his side a moment later.

"Enough!" Machamp shouted, raising all four fists. "I'm tired of your cheap shit! Who wants a fist in their mouth first?"

Plusle and Shuckle both faced against Machamp, wondering what they could possibly do against their four arms.

"Uh… Roy Mustang…..?" Shuckle asked. "Any help?"

Plusle blinked. "Where the heck is he?"

"Sorry, guys!" Sableye announced, waving from where he and the wagon were standing. "I'm using him to make coffee! Do you guys want cream and sugar?"

"Ooh, that sounds delicious!" Plusle said, clapping her hands.

"Plusle, focus!" Shuckle shouted. Machamp lunged at them, and Shuckle flinched.

"Ow, hey! Would you idiots get off my back!?" Machamp growled, stumbling. Munchlax had tackled him from behind and wrapped his legs around his waist.

"Shuckle, promise me you'll win, okay?" Munchlax said, beginning to glow with a harsh light. "You still have a ways to go, but I know you can handle it."

"Munchlax, what are you talking about?" Plusle asked.

"Wait, you're not going to- "Shuckle started, and Machamp seemed to realize at the same time. He cursed and tried to throw Munchlax off, but the little cub for once was impossible to pull off.

"Aw come on, no not like this, I'm supposed to be the cool one!" Machamp shouted. "This is the worst way to go! I'll be remembered as the one who lost to an unevolved weakling who self-destructed!"

Munchlax winked. "See ya, Yamcha."

Machamp's eyes went wide. "NO-"

Munchlax exploded, and the impact blew Shuckle and Plusle far back.

They coughed, staring at the dust as it cleared. Machamp was eagle spread on the ground, unconscious.

"Hey, guys!" Sableye said, sipping coffee. "How's tricks?"

"My best friend just blew up," Shuckle said in shock.

"Oh, don't be a baby," Scrafty said, rolling his eyes. "For some reason you can't actually die by detonating in this franchise. He's probably just unconscious."

"Little bit callous, Scrafty," Plusle said, glancing at him.

"Really? Me. Callous?" Scrafty said, rolling his eyes. "Hell must be freezing over, huh."

"Well, moving on from that traumatic experience," Shuckle said. "Zorua's pretty much done and Munchlax isn't…. available…., so the rest of us better be careful. 'Cept Scrafty, he can screw off."

"Charming," Scrafty drawled.

"Wait, hold on," Plusle said, pointing to the sky. "Is that…Talonflame…?"

"Looks like he's carrying… oh shit that's Umbreon," Sableye said. "Uh-oh."

"Dammit, he'll carry her all the way up to the mountain!" Shuckle growled. "How can we get there?"

"Well….." Sableye said, a slow Cheshire Cat grin appearing slowly on his face. "I did install a cannon on Roy Mustang…"

He gave a meaningful look to Shuckle, who's face dawned in realization.

"No," Shuckle hissed. "No, no, never again, no!"

0000

Sableye giggled. "Don't you love it when things come full circle?"

0000

Umbreon looked at Mount Victory, which was growing bigger and bigger. "You know, I thought it would be really cold. Kind of strange."

"Dude, fire type, remember?" Talonflame said, rolling his eyes. "Do you want me to set you down at the summit or bring you straight to the flag?"

"I feel like I'd get burned by Victini if I just tried to have it handed to me, and I'm probably already pushing it as is. Let's go for the summit," Umbreon said, peering at the mountain.

"Right then," Talonflame said, swooping down, not noticing the projectile flying towards them.

Umbreon saw it, however, and gasped. "Uh Talonflame? You might want to get out of the way!"

Talonflame went pale. "Oh come on, not this bullshit agai-"

Shuckle slammed into him, and the bird dropped Umbreon with a squawk. All three Pokemon fell out of the sky, Talonflame already unconscious.

0000

"Déjà fucking vu," Talonflame growled, holding a melting ice pack to his head.

0000

Umbreon burst out of the snow, shaking to get it out of her fur. "Aaand now it's cold as tits. Lovely."

She looked up at the mountain, realizing that she was on a ledge near the base. Taking her breath, she began to climb, grumbling to herself.

"I hate my life," she muttered. "If life had a dick my ass would be permanently sore."

She jumped, catching a ledge with her paw. "Let's just get this over with."

0000

"I think I have the advantage at this point," Umbreon said. "Shuckle is pretty pathetic physically, and now he seems to be alone."

0000

Shuckle groaned from edge of the cliff face he had managed to fall on. Rubbing his shell gingerly, he peeked over the side. He was a good way up the mountain, but if he wanted to beat Umbreon he needed to hurry.

Shooting a string shot, he used it as a zip line to fly up section by section, moving as carefully as he could.

Shuckle wiped the sweat from his brow. "Slow and steady wins the race."

0000

"My problem is that I can't see Umbreon's progress," Shuckle explained. "She could be higher than me or below me, so I have no context at all behind the speed of progress I thought I needed to make. I just figured I needed to stay consistent."

0000

"Looks like it's the beginning of the end, eh?" Victini said, sipping a cup of hot cocoa. "Any early predictions?"

A barrier floated just above the top of Mount Victory, where everyone spectating were seated in chairs. It was a barrier big enough to easily hold all the Pokemon waiting for Victini, which by now was quite a big number, with campers teleporting there after being eliminated.

"You've outdone yourself with this place," Manaphy said, clinking her mug with Victini. "It comes with heating and refreshments?"

"Yeah," Victini said, leaning back in his self-proclaimed 'host's armchair'. "Palkia owed me a favor and he can warp space around, so…."

Even some other legendaries had shown up besides Giratina and Manaphy. Phione had gone through eight cups of hot chocolate and was now incredibly hyper, hopping up and down in his seat with a foamy mustache. Tapus Lele and Fini were there, a bit grumpy that Hariyama seemed nowhere to be found. Zygarde had elected to take a doglike form and was sitting on the barrier floor next to his chair.

All were in good spirits, watching a massive television screen that displayed both Shuckle and Umbreon climbing respectively.

"It seems as though Shuckle has a head start," Swampert said to himself. "But Umbreon's covering more ground."

"Don't forget, though, if Umbreon wants to win she also needs to pass Shuckle," Donphan said wisely. "I don't think Shuckle would accept that lying down."

"What the hell happened to you?" Tapu Fini asked Machamp, who was covered in bandages.

"I don't want to talk about it…" Machamp said in a glum voice.

"C'mon!" Infernape said, vibrating just as bad as Phione. "I don't want to see boring climbing! I'm ready for some real action!"

"Yeah!" Phione said. "Less consistency, more cool fighting!"

"Well," Victini said, pulling out a list. "There's still two Pokemon that Shuckle and Umbreon will have to face each. In fact, if you pay close attention, they're about to come across the first pair now."

0000

Umbreon climbed up the mountain, doing her best to keep her breathing under her control. She mused that if she hadn't been forced to exercise so much for the show she never would have been able to scale it now.

"Ow!" Umbreon said, yelping in pain as her paw struck something sharp. She slid down a bit, cursing under her breath. Who the hell in their right mind would have nails on-

Oh no.

"Mwahahahha!" came a cackling voice that made Umbreon want to vomit. Misdreavus made her appearance, looking excited. "Ready for some fun?"

Umbreon felt heat under her, and she dove to another ledge just as it exploded, barely managing to claw herself up.

"Welcome to Misdreavus' lovely mountain masterpiece!" Misdreavus crowed. "Who wants a ride?"

0000

"I really, really can't stand her," Umbreon growled.

0000

"Sableye was sweet enough to lend me some technology," Misdreavus said, doing a happy somersault in midair. "I've been waiting for this for weeks."

0000

Shuckle flinched as he felt an explosion rock the mountain below him. He glanced down, a bit relieved that he was ahead of it. Still, if they weren't careful they could cause an avalanche…

"Hopefully that stalled her progress," Shuckle said, realizing that the explosion meant Umbreon was likely below them. "Now's a good chance to hurry."

He moved faster, satisfied at his newfound progress. That was, until-

"Hey Shuckle!"

Shuckle looked up in surprise, he almost slipped, but launched a string shot to a ledge high above him to steady himself. Haxorus peered over above him.

"Hey man," Haxorus said, waving. "Nice job on getting this far. Too bad we never got to talk before I got eliminated, eh?"

"Uh, yeah," Shuckle said, confused about the dragon's intentions. He didn't know Haxorus too well, but he seemed to remember him being friendly. "Can I get a hand up here?"

Haxorus flinched. "Uh…yeah, hate to say it, but I kind of have to stop your progress. You know, challenge and all."

"Oh," Shuckle said, feeling his heart sink. "Well, maybe we could skip that part and you could let me go?"

"Sorry man," Haxorus said with a sigh, leaning over to the string Shuckle was using as a lifeline. "You probably won't like me much after today."

Shuckle's eyes widened. "Wait, hold on-"

Haxorus cut through the string with his tusks. Shuckle screamed as he tumbled down the mountain below.

0000

Shuckle glared at the camera, covered in snow. "Ahh! Dick!"

0000

"Stop being such an asshole!" Umbreon shouted, dodging barrels that Misdreavus was chucking Donkey Kong style.

"C'mon Umbreon!" Misdreavus said, laughing. "Aren't we having barrels of fun?"

Umbreon's retort was interrupted by Shuckle's screams as he fell, smacking off the ledge Umbreon was standing on and falling out of sight.

"Sorry man, just have to be thorough!" Haxorus said as he slid after him on a snowboard.

"Huh," Misdreavus said, looking down.

"That was a thing," Umbreon said in agreement.

They stared at each other for a moment.

"AHAHHA! DIE!" Misdreavus shrieked, shooting lasers and dumping buckets of rocks.

"FUCK OFF!" Umbreon growled as she prepared to avoid them.

0000

"Uh yeah, I know most dragons aren't a fan of snow, but I've always kinda dug it," Haxorus said with a shrug. "I love snowboarding and toboggan racing. I've been told I'm pretty good at it."

0000

"Owww….." Shuckle groaned, face in the snow. He pulled himself up and shook himself off, cursing when he realized he had dropped a significant amount.

He looked up, glaring as he saw Haxorus swerve down the mountain, claws outstretched. "I'm already sick of you."

"Sorry man!" Haxorus said. "Job's a job!"

Haxorus jumped in the air, doing a few tricks before lunging to Shuckle, who launched a string shot, wrapping it around the snowboard.

"I'm sorry too," Shuckle grunted, jerking the board. Haxorus yelped as he was thrown along with it, and he crashed into a pile of snow.

"I've seen people snowboard, you need to keep your legs locked into it," Shuckle explained, grinning at his own intelligence. "Now that you're below me the snowboard is useless!"

Haxorus responded by throwing the snowboard at Shuckle, smacking him upside the head.

"Ow!" Shuckle shouted. "Dick!"

"Doesn't seem like useless to me," Haxorus said with a toothy grin.

He slammed his tail using the impact to fly in the air. His tusks elongated into sharp blades that began closed in around Shuckle.

"That's guillotine," Shuckle said. "OH, FUCK THAT'S GUILLOTINE!"

He rolled back, dodging the attack that would have cost him the game, before sliding in between the dragon's legs. Shuckle made to jump, but Haxorus' foot came down and held his shell in place.

"Deuces!" Haxorus said cheerfully, forming guillotine again, but Shuckle bit down on his leg. As Haxorus grumbled in pain, Shuckle wrapped his limbs around Haxorus' body, trapping his arms and legs.

"Come on, we're going THIS WAY!" Shuckle roared, forcing Haxorus forward into the mountain wall. His head bashed against it, and Shuckle rolled away.

Growling, Haxorus tried to pull himself out, but with a start realized his tusks were stuck. He tried to wrench himself free, but he was held fast.

"You could try using your tail to break free," Shuckle said innocently.

"Oh right, thanks!" Haxorus said, his face lighting up. He swung back his tail, coating it in draconic energy. Shuckle tensed.

"DRAGON TAIL!" Haxorus roared, swinging his tail like a baseball bat. He wasn't expecting Shuckle to jump in the way, using the attack to send him flying high in the air.

"Thanks for the lift!" Shuckle shouted as Haxorus gaped up at him.

0000

"Dragon tail basically causes a knockback strong enough to send Pokemon flying so far that it ends an official battle without actually knocking out the opponent," Shuckle explained. "So, I figured at the very least it would give me a boost if I wanted an easy out. Granted he could have hit me in the wrong direction, but I figured the risk was worth it."

Shuckle blushed. "Also, I kind of didn't think about it at the time."

0000

"Alright, gotcha!" Umbreon said, pouncing on Misdreavus, but she disappeared, reappearing higher up on the mountain. Umbreon let out a growl out of frustration, pacing around on the ledge she was standing on.

"Oooh, nice try!" Misdreavus giggled, hurling another barrel. "I almost felt that."

Umbreon started to reply scathingly but was interrupted by Shuckle fly up like a rocket next to her. She and Misdreavus gaped as he shot through the air, landing in a distant pile of snow that was almost out of sight.

Umbreon's eyes widened. "Shit, I have to hurry."

Misdreavus was cackling again, but stopped when Umbreon split into multiple copies. All forms of Umbreon leaped up ledges, moving in zigzags to throw the ghost off.

Misdreavus growled, letting lose everything she had. Barrels fell, lasers shone, and mines exploded. Still, the attacks only seemed to hit the copies.

The few remaining Umbreon were getting dangerously close, and Misdreavus aimed a shadow ball at the one nearest….

Only to be struck by a swift sucker punch by the real Umbreon, who had succeeded in sneaking up behind her. Misdreavus smacked against the mountain and tumbled down, unconscious before she hit the ground.

"Never try to out-sly a dark type," Umbreon spat, before looking up at the mountain ahead of her. "Now, I better hurry."

0000

"I got pretty far up the mountain while Umbreon was busy dealing with Misdreavus," Shuckle noted. He shuddered. "That is, until he showed up."

0000

Shuckle pulled himself up to a ledge a bit bigger than the others, large enough so he could feel comfortable catching his breath. Shivering from the cold, he looked down to check if Umbreon was gaining on him. She wasn't even in sight.

Letting out a deep sigh, he slumped back against a rock. "Alright. A minute of rest and then it's time to-"

The rocky wall shuddered around him, before a jet of water blasted him to the side, and he was sent sliding near the edge. Shuckle managed to catch himself before he could fall but went pale as he saw Slowking emerge from the wall of ice he had been stupid enough to lean against.

"I had a feeling you might make a pit stop here," Slowking said, giving a lazy wave, using the force of his psychic blast to throw Shuckle off the wide ledge and onto a smaller one. Shuckle groaned as he smacked against a rock, as Slowking teleported in front of him. Shuckle closed his eyes, pretending to be unconscious.

"Is that all it takes?" Slowking asked, walking towards him and raising an eyebrow. "I'm disappointed."

Shuckle watched Slowking's movement through lidded eyes, waiting for him to blink….

Slowking happened to look away for a moment to brush snow off his shoulder. Shuckle lunged forward, shooting a string shot straight at Slowking's crown…

Slowking caught the string an inch away from his face. "Nice try. I knew you had some fight in you."

He yanked on the string, throwing Shuckle towards him. Slowking shot a hydro pump at point blank range, blasting Shuckle into a pile of rocks.

Shuckle coughed, struggling to his feet as Slowking created his signature trident out of water and psychic energy.

"We're both tacticians," Slowking said, shooting a jet of water that Shuckle dove to avoid. "Let's see who's smarter."

0000

"Shuckle is unpredictable; I'm sure he'll have a few tricks up his sleeves," Slowking said, folding his arms. "I hope you all enjoy our bout-I know I will."

0000

Unlike Shuckle, Umbreon could waste no time resting. She grunted as she climbed, wiping the sweat off her face and hoping she could catch up to Shuckle in time. He was slow, so how hard could it be?"

She clambered a wall that was more slippery than most, taking a deep breath before looking at her next checkpoint. Before she could start to climb, however, a psycho cut struck the mountain and sent a pile of snow down on the dark type. When Gallade emerged from his hiding spot, Umbreon was completely buried in snow.

"Hey," Gallade said, his single eye glowing with power. A psychic attack blew the snow off a disgruntled Umbreon, who was taking a knee.

"Oh great, like I haven't had enough of you," Umbreon drawled, tensing back.

"You'll need to take me down if you want to catch up to Shuckle," Gallade said with a mysterious smile. "I'd spend less time complaining and more time-"

He cut through a shadow ball that Umbreon shot while he was talking. "-putting up a fight."

Umbreon growled at his jab, launching a dark pulse, but Gallade dove down with ease, swinging his blades down in an X. Umbreon rolled to the side, kicking up at the psychic type, but Gallade dodged and knocked her down.

"Bye," Gallade said, stabbing down with his blade. Before it could land, Umbreon smashed her paw into the cliff they were standing on, and both tumbled down with a yelp of surprise.

0000

"I have no quarrel with Umbreon," Gallade said. "But this is my last episode, and I'd like to leave with a bang."

0000

"I really do hate when you do that string shot thing!" Slowking growled, raising an arm to block a weak bug attack Shuckle launched as he spun around the psychic's head. "Get some more moves!"

"Screw you, this way works!" Shuckle said, landing a leech life in Slowking's neck, grinning a little as he heard a low swear of pain from his opponent.

"Does it though?" Slowking asked, and Shuckle was outlined in psychic energy. Slowking threw him straight down, smacking him against the wall before dropping him on a cliff face.

Shuckle tried to rise, but Slowking landed down hard on his shell, preventing him from moving. He struggled, but Slowking held the trident against his throat.

"Any last words for your lovely fans before I crush your chances at winning?" Slowking asked, charging up a ball of water.

"Urgh…yeah," Shuckle said with a cough. "R-roy Mustang?"

"Roy-who?" Slowking asked, before a wagon rammed into him from behind. "Oof!"

Slowking managed to catch himself before too long, facing off against Roy Mustang, who proceeded to perform his equivalent exchange speech.

"I…what the hell?" Slowking asked, but Shuckle ordered the wagon to fire. Slowking was forced to throw up a barrier to block the onslaught of projectiles and alchemy thrown at him.

0000

"You know, I've never considered what I would like to do when my purpose is finished," Roy Mustang said, having wheeled himself in the confessional. "In truth, I've always wanted to be a bartender. Maybe Sableye can hit me up with a bar or pub when he and Misdreavus get married."

0000

Before, Umbreon was climbing up the mountain as quickly as she could because she was worried she wouldn't catch up to Shuckle. Now she was climbing up the mountain as quickly as she could just to get away from Gallade, who was charging at her like a lunatic.

His blades flew at high speeds, and it was everything Umbreon could do just to avoid them. He stabbed the wall just under the dark type, but she managed to leap to a ledge and shoot a dark pulse before he could swing his other blade. The impact sent Gallade sliding down, but he caught himself by digging his blades into the icy wall.

"You'll need to do more than that to defeat me," Gallade said. Umbreon responded by shooting a shadow ball. Gallade swung his blade like a tennis racket, his backhand slice slapping the ball back into Umbreon's face.

Umbreon groaned as she was slapped against the mountain, before crumbling. Gallade performed a flip, using his psychic powers to boost his jump. He landed next to Umbreon and performed a roundhouse kick just as she was scrambling to her feet.

Umbreon fell back, before his tonfa pinned her to the wall. Umbreon tried to bite at it, but her throat was caught.

Gallade's other hand formed a green aura. "It's over."

0000

Shuckle, hiding behind cover, watched the intense fight between Roy Mustang and Slowking. The latter teleported and created barriers to block against the former's alchemy, constantly moving, trying to find a weakness. The wagon remained motionless, but fired continuous attacks, each shot coming closer and closer to hitting his opponent.

Shuckle tried to calculate if Slowking could find a weakness before Roy Mustang could overwhelm him, and… he wasn't sure. The thought made him uncomfortable-he couldn't stay on the sidelines any longer. But how could he of all Pokemon take out a titan like Slowking?

Slowking walked forward, holding a barrier in front of him, blocking Roy Mustang's fire as he marched forward. With his other hand, he launched jets of water, but the wagon froze it into ice before the attack could land.

They prepared to engage again, when Shuckle suddenly hopped up upon a rock above their heads. "Freeze Slowking's legs!"

"What?" Slowking asked, arching a brow. "What are you…."

Shuckle replied with an ear-piercing screech, powered by adrenaline and fear. Slowking clasped his ears, shouting in pain, but Roy Mustang wasn't affected…

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR!" Slowking shouted. He froze when the entire mountain began to shake.

"Avalanche," Shuckle said with a cheeky grin.

"That's a myth, Shuckle," Slowking said, rolling his eyes. "Also, what, were you going to freeze my feet, so I couldn't escape? Shuckle, I can teleport."

"Oh," Shuckle said, blinking. "Shit."

Slowking snapped his fingers, the psychic force throwing the endolith towards him. Slowking caught him by the neck and held him in front of him.

"I'd call off your toy before it gets you hurt," Slowking growled. "This has been fun, but I liked my hearing, thank you very much."

"Funny story," Roy Mustang said. "Freeze legs is actually a code word that Shuckle came up with. On his orders, I was instructed to use my earth alchemy to cause tremors beneath us to trigger an avalanche. I believe Shuckle screamed because he thought it was fun."

Slowking blinked. "What?"

The mountain shook again, as snow and massive boulders slid towards them. Shuckle grinned before shooting a string shot at Roy Mustang, who was firing up the jets in the back and began to propel up the mountain.

Shuckle grinned as he was yanked out of Slowking's grip, but Slowking snarled and grabbed Shuckle with his mind. Roy Mustang and Slowking wrestled for control of Shuckle as the avalanche of rocks loomed closer.

"Urgh…" Shuckle gasped. "Your pick, Slowking. Get swept in the avalanche and maybe drag me down with you or save yourself!"

Before the first boulder could his Slowking, the psychic threw up a barrier with his free hand, shattering it when it made contact. He expanded the barrier, so it surrounded the entire ledge he was standing on.

"Uh-oh," Shuckle said, as Slowking finally defeated the wagon at tug of war and ripped the string shot. Shuckle and the wagon both fell, but while a hole in the barrier opened up for Shuckle, the wagon bounced off and tumbled down with the snow and rocks.

"Roy Mustang!" Shuckle wailed, before turning to face Slowking. The psychic was using both hands to maintain his barrier, his trident in his mouth.

"You won't escape me so easily," Slowking said through his closed teeth. "Come now! Put up a fight!"

Slowking charged towards Shuckle in his safe bubble as the world was in chaos around them, snow and boulders flying everywhere.

0000

Gallade was about to stab down, only to falter as a wagon fell with a clang next to them.

Gallade blinked. "What the hell?"

His grip loosened, and Umbreon used the opportunity to bite down on his arm. Gallade growled in pain, stumbling back, and Umbreon followed up with a vicious headbutt.

"Shuckle, I'm coming," the wagon said, firing up its jets. Umbreon gaped at the sight before grinning, hopping on it just as it shot up the mountain. Gallade swore and tried to stop them, to no avail.

"Oh….no…" Gallade said, looking up. As sheet of snow and rocks was sliding down, and while the wagon swam through it with ease, it was heading right for the psychic type….

0000

Roy Mustang swerved, trying to shake off Umbreon, who was gripping its sides as tight as possible.

"Get off!" the wagon shouted. "I am not a taxicab."

"Into an avalanche?" Umbreon scoffed. "I'll stay right here, thanks."

She looked up and opened her eyes wide. A barrier stood firm against the avalanche falling around it, and she thought she could see Shuckle fighting Slowking in there. Or well, surviving against Slowking. Somehow.

In truth, the bug type had wrapped a tight cocoon around himself, protecting him from Slowking's vicious blows. Slowking was growing increasingly annoyed at his stalling, but Shuckle wasn't budging.

"If you aren't going to jump out you'll want to hold on tight," Roy Mustang said in a resigned voice. "I'm ramming the barrier."

"WHAT!?" Umbreon shouted.

"You heard me."

Building up speed, the wagon flew through the barrier, which shattered. The impact sent Shuckle and Slowking flying in different directions, while Umbreon smacked her head against the metal wagon.

Slowking caught himself in midair, floating, before feeling weight pull him down. He looked down and went pale. A string shot had tied his leg to a rock.

Slowking only had time to flinch before the avalanche overtook him and he was sent tumbling down, yelling curses at Shuckle, the mountain, and Roy Mustang alike.

"Alright, Rusty," Umbreon said, slapping the side of the wagon. "Get me to the top."

Roy Mustang vibrated angrily. "I have no intention of leaving Shuckle behind-"

A psycho cut missed the wagon by an inch. Gallade appeared, jumping from boulder to boulder in an attempt to catch up to them.

"-I will leave Shuckle behind," Roy Mustang said, revving his engines.

"Good call," Umbreon said with a gulp.

The wagon shot forward, swerving as Gallade launched attacks. The warrior hopped from rock to rock, attacking from every angle.

Gallade focused his power, about to launch another attack, but a string shot wrapped around his leg. He yelped and crashed as Shuckle burst out of the snow, gasping for air, before shooting another string shot at Roy Mustang, using him as a zipline.

"What the-?" Umbreon said before Shuckle tackled her, both Pokemon wrestling for control as Roy Mustang neared the summit of the mountain….

0000

"Final thoughts before the end of the challenge?" Shuckle asked. "Well, I guess I'll say I wish I got my friends further. I was selfish, so while I made it, I couldn't get any of my friends even to the top five. Hopefully I can make this up to them by winning the game once and for all."

0000

"Regrets? Me?" Umbreon asked with a snort. "Uh, joining this game in the first place?"

She sighed. "For serious though, sometimes I wish I treated Sylveon better. I thought I was helping her but really, I just wanted her to become another me. And now that I succeeded, well….I just hope she's happy."

"Alright, enough mushy crap," Umbreon growled. "Today Shuckle goes down."

0000

"Ooh, they're almost at the summit!" Pidgey squawked.

"Looks really close as well," Manaphy said, looking impressed. "Anyone could take the game at this point."

"Take him down, Umbreon!" Infernape whooped.

"Shuckle, you've got this!" Munchlax shouted.

"SILENCE, BEAR!" Giratina roared, and Munchlax shrieked and hid behind Swampert. "UMBREON WILL WIN OR I'LL HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY ABOUT IT!"

"Ugh, I forgot how much he screeches," Tapu Lele moaned, covering her ears. "No wonder Arceus banished him."

"We're at the endgame, folks!" Victini said, clapping his hands. "Place your bets, because it's Umbreon and Shuckle head to head for the finale!"

Tepig snickered, unable to stop himself from becoming the center of attention.

"What are you cackling about," Victini said with a suspicious glare.

"Oh, nothing," Tepig said, whistling innocently. "Misdreavus and I just thought the challenge would be a bit anticlimactic without a bit of pizazz at the endgame. You lot are in for a lovely surprise."

"What did you do?" Minccino growled.

"Okay, I'll tell you, but you can't be mad," Tepig said.

"What did you do?"

Tepig cleared his throat, before speaking in a perfect impression of Victini's voice. "Hariyama, I want you to be our final challenge for Total Pokkemon, so everything can come full circle. Have fun and don't hold back!"

"No," Victini hissed. "Dude, even I'M not that sadistic!"

Minccino groaned as Tepig broke out in laughter. The Pokemon ran to the edge of the barrier, waving frantically as Roy Mustang finally drove over the edge of the summit.

"Shit, he's not responding!" Victini snapped, desperately tapping his phone. "Why is the reception here so bad?"

"Gee I wonder why," Ninjask drawled, rolling his eyes.

"Look at me, I'm Victini," Tepig said with a goofy grin, still using Victini's voice. "I act like an asshole because I have SELF ESTEEM ISSUES!"

"SHUT UP, TEPIG!"

0000

Shuckle and Umbreon rolled out of the wagon the second Roy Mustang, still wrestling. Shuckle managed to get her into a scissor lock, before looking up and gaping. Atop the peak was the Total Pokkemon Island Flag, and above it, a barrier with the entire cast and Victini watching and shouting.

"Wait, why are they so freaked out?" Shuckle asked. He was relieved to see Munchlax okay, but the little cub was pounding on the wall of the barrier, warning him to get out.

Umbreon used the distraction to break free, launching a shadow ball to send Shuckle rolling to the side.

"Ow," Shuckle said, rising and shaking the snow off his shell. "Hey, Roy Mustang? Why aren't you helping out?"

"Because I'm slightly more worried about the higher threat level emerging in front of us," the wagon replied, his voice strained.

"What?" Shuckle and Umbreon asked, whirling around. Out of the snow in front of them, Hariyama burst up, performing a triple flip in the air and landing with his fist crushing rocks around him, no doubt creating more avalanches below.

"Oh," Umbreon said, backing away. "Shit."

Hariyama leered at them. "Hariyama will assume young finalists know what he is here for."

Umbreon backed away, as Shuckle inched towards Roy Mustang, tapping him on the side.

"I want you to fire everything you have on that man," Shuckle said, trying not to sound terrified. "If he disintegrates it's not enough."

"Roger," Roy Mustang said, humming with power. The area where Hariyama stood exploded as missiles, lasers, bullets, rockets, and various forms of alchemy were launched. Hariyama's outline disappeared under the intense fire.

"Keep it up," Shuckle barked, narrowing his eyes. Umbreon, meanwhile, inched to the side, eyeing the flag not too far away…

Roy Mustang continued to fire, and for a moment Shuckle was convinced Hariyama was finished. His heart sank when he was proven wrong; Hariyama was marching through the explosions, humming in Russian.

"Ohoho, fuck no," Umbreon said, backing up as Shuckle gulped.

Hariyama launched towards him, but Roy Mustang slid in front of him, opening fire. Hariyama ignored the laser striking his shoulder and threw a vicious punch, shattering the wagon into pieces.

"ROY MUSTANG NO!" Shuckle shrieked. "HE WANTED TO BE A BARTENDER!"

Umbreon, who had stealthily moved behind Hariyama, made a mad dash for the flag, but Hariyama shot a focus blast behind him, and it struck the ground in front of the eeveeloution. The impact threw Umbreon over the edge, and she shrieked loudly as she fell.

Shuckle launched a string shot at the peak as well, but Hariyama caught the string and swung it down, slapping Shuckle against the mountain. He groaned, trying to rise, before Hariyama's force palm sent him flying over the edge. He managed to catch himself with another string shot before he could fall down too far, and pulled himself back over.

Peering over a rock, he saw Umbreon climb back up, growling under her breath. Hariyama lunged for her, but Umbreon used double team, creating copies of herself that ran in every direction to confuse Hariyama.

The fighting type struck, destroying copies, but Shuckle watched another, more suspicious Umbreon sneak for the peak where the flag stood. Narrowing his eyes, he opened his mouth and shot a string shot just as she broke into a run.

The string wrapped around Umbreon's legs and she fell flat on her face, cursing Shuckle under her breath. Hariyama turned at the noise and chuckled, running forward and kicking her off over the edge of the summit again.

Shuckle giggled at his cleverness, before his eyes dawned in realization and horror. The string yanked him forward, sending him sliding through the snow and in between Hariyama's legs, before it pulled him over the edge after Umbreon.

Hariyama chuckled again, shaking his head in disbelief. "For one so smart, young Shuckle can be very dumb."

0000

"I hope you're happy," Umbreon snapped.

The string that tied them together had wrapped around a jagged rock, leaving Shuckle and Umbreon to swing from it on either side.

"Okay, not one of my greatest plans," Shuckle said, looking up. "Why don't we try working together to take him out? We stand no chance alone."

"We're the only two left, what's the point?" Umbreon asked, rolling her eyes.

"Once Hariyama's taken out it's a fair race to finish, okay?" Shuckle asked, watching to see if she took to his plan. He assumed she would; if things played out the way he explained it, her speed would give her the advantage.

"Deal," Umbreon said after a moment, a predatory grin on her face. "But you'll regret this alliance soon enough."

"I'm sure I will," Shuckle said without really paying attention. "If we pool our strengths, we may have a chance…"

0000

Hariyama checked his watch. What was taking them so long? It was rather cold.

As if on cue, Umbreon ran onto the scene, Shuckle on her back. She darted in zigzags, letting out a war snarl.

Hariyama grinned, shooting a focus blast, but Shuckle jumped in the air, popping in his shell to take the hit with ease. The string he was connected to kept him locked into Umbreon's back as she ran for him, throwing attacks that bounced off the sumo's tough skin.

"Nice!" Shuckle said, urging her forward. "Now take the offensive!"

"I can't believe you convinced me to do this," Umbreon grumbled.

Hariyama threw a fist, but Umbreon managed to dodge an attack that Shuckle certainly wouldn't have been able to, and the bug type launched a string shot that wrapped around his arm and jerked it to the side.

Shuckle whooped as Hariyama fell off balance. "We're doing it!"

"Yeah, we are," Umbreon snickered, before throwing her head back to strike Shuckle's face. The bug type yelped and rolled off, the string connected to them being split, as Umbreon used both their lack of balance to throw herself up at the flag.

Shuckle, however, grinned. "Bad idea, Umbreon!"

Umbreon suddenly yelped in pain as she was electrocuted, and she stumbled around in confusion.

"That wasn't a string shot I attached to you," Shuckle said as Hariyama raised his free fist at Umbreon's vulnerable form.

"It was an electro web."

Hariyama's fist sent Umbreon flying, over the edge of the mountain and out of sight. With a roar, he ripped his arm free from the string shot.

"That alliance was pathetic," Hariyama said, cracking his knuckles.

Shuckle wiped blood off his nose. "I needed her out of the picture to minimize the risk as much as possible."

"Oh?" Hariyama said in interest.

"There's only one hope I have left if I want to defeat you," Shuckle said, glowing in power. With a deep breath he used power swap, reversing his offensive and defensive abilities.

"This just became interesting," Hariyama said, getting in a fighting stance.

"I may not win," Shuckle said, feeling newfound power in his limbs. "But you damn well better believe I won't go down without a fight."

Hariyama and Shuckle rushed at each other, meeting in a collision that blew snow everywhere and cracked the mountain. Shuckle and Hariyama fought hard to overwhelm the other as a glowing bright light surrounded them both….

0000

"Owwww," Umbreon said, rubbing her aching head. She took a glance at her surroundings, before starting at what seemed to be a floating white sheet.

"Ooooooh," the sheet said in what was unmistakably Phione's voice. "it is I, the ghost of Christmas past!"

"Christmas is long over, dude," Umbreon said. "You're in the wrong season."

"Exactly!" Phione said. "I'm the ghost of Christmas passed. Christmas already passed was taken."

"Whatever, I don't have time to waste," Umbreon growled, climbing back up the mountain. "I have to go kill myself now."

"Well, maybe if you tried complaining less and planning more, you'd do better?" Phione asked in a curious voice.

"I….huh….that is….a good idea," Umbreon said. "But how can I take on someone like Hariyama? His muscles are bigger than my head."

"Well, Shuckle decided to meet him head on," Phione said. "Maybe don't do that this time. Win your own, Umbreon way!"

"I don't have a way," Umbreon said.

"Then make up one!" Phione said cheerfully. "It takes more than raw power to win a Pokemon battle after all."

"Why are you so insistent on helping me, Phione," Umbreon asked. "It's not like we're close."

"I'm not Phione….I'm the ghost of Christmas paaaaaaassed," Phione said, before disappearing.

"Alright," Umbreon said, taking time for once to think without a hint of sass or sarcasm. What tools did she have that Shuckle didn't?

0000

"Ahahaha!" Hariyama said, blocking a strike from Shuckle before throwing a jab that the endolith dodged. "Hariyama has not fought this intensely since old battle with Mewtwo!"

Shuckle growled, doing his best to fight off Hariyama, but it was like fighting a hundred Pokemon at once. He flew around the sumo with string shot, trying to aim for weak points.

They fought back and forth, exchanging blows, until one finally made a mistake. Shuckle tried to bite down on Hariyama's arm but missed, and Hariyama threw down a karate chop that smashed against Shuckle's shell, throwing the poor bug type into mountain with enough force to cause it to shatter beneath his weight.

Hariyama chuckled in victory, but Umbreon used the results of the battle to her advantage and darted forward.

"First tool: element of surprise!" Umbreon shouted, hopping over Shuckle as Hariyama looked up in shock.

"Second tool: a move that doesn't need to knock you down to be effective," Umbreon growled, shooting a confuse ray at point blank range. Hariyama was struck in the face, and he stumbled around, punching himself repeatedly in the face.

Letting out a cackle of victory, Umbreon climbed to the peak, getting closer and closer to the flag…

Until a string wrapped around her leg, throwing her back and forcing her to dig her claws into the icy wall. She looked behind her, gaping in surprise. Shuckle, somehow still conscious, had managed to rise and fight, though he looked dead on his feet.

"Oh no you don't," Shuckle hissed, pulling on the string. Umbreon yelped as she desperately clawed at the wall….her paws centimeters away from the flag….

"YEEEEEHAW!" came a voice that pierced the air. Bidoof somersaulted out of nowhere, biting down on the string connecting Umbreon and Shuckle, effectively snapping it.

"No!" Shuckle screeched as the freed Umbreon climbed up the remainder of the mountain. "What are you doing!?"

"G'WAN, UMBREON!" Bidoof shouted as he hit the ground in a roll. "GRAB THAT FLAG SO'S WE CAN ALL GO HOME!"

Hariyama shook himself off and aimed a focus blast, but Sylveon rammed into him from behind, causing him to throw the attack on the ground in front of them, the explosion blowing them both back.

Umbreon reached the peak and bit down on the flag pole, ripping it out of the snow and thrusting it high in the air. "Victory is mine!"

"And that's the end!" Victini roared into his megaphone, lifting off the top of the barrier so they could hear the shouting of every Pokemon cheering, jeering, and yelling. "THE WINNER OF TOTAL POKKEMON ISLAND IS UMBREON!"

"Yes!" Bidoof said, before Umbreon plowed into him with a fierce hug. "Whoa, you never tried to initiate contact with me before!"

"I love you, you doofy bastard!" Umbreon practically sobbed into his shoulder, squeezing him so hard his eyes bugged out.

"Where was my team?" Shuckle protested, though it was with a weak smile. A moment later Plusle, Sableye and Scrafty arrived at the top, taking deep breaths and leaning against each other for support.

"We uh….may have stopped for donuts first," Sableye said, scratching his head in embarrassment. "Aw…I see that the new wagon got scrapped, huh?"

"Yeah…." Shuckle said with a shrug. "Sorry about that."

"I'll go fix him," Sableye said with a sigh, moving around to pick up the pieces of scrap metal.

"You did it, Umbreon!" Sylveon said, running forward and wrapping her ribbons around Umbreon in a tight hug. Umbreon flinched but allowed the contact.

Hariyama brushed some snow off his shoulder, giving Umbreon a nod of respect before moving to help Sableye clean up. Shuckle, meanwhile, awkwardly made his way up to Umbreon.

"Uh…. you totally deserved the win," Shuckle said, smiling while holding out an arm. "Thanks for following the whole competition through with me."

Umbreon shook his hand. "You were a total badass too, Shuckle. It could have gone any other way."

Victini flew down with a microphone, holding it under Umbreon's mouth. "As promised, we'll give you the one million Poke dollars that we totally didn't steal from a bank. What are you going to do with the money?"

Umbreon looked at the microphone, before a wicked grin grew on her face.

0000

"What!? It's what I am going to do with it!" Umbreon said in protest. "How dare you censor the truth!"

"Because you can't tell everyone on international television that you want a recreational drug collection!" Victini hissed.

"Recreational drug museum," Umbreon said. "That I'll occasionally use for my own needs."

"Do whatever you want with it, but kids watch this show!" Victini said. "You're a role model to those little brats, so you need to act like one."

"Fine, fine, whatever," Umbreon said, rolling her eyes. "I'll say something boring, like use it to pay off student loans or something. Just let me do the stupid ceremony so I can go home."

"Fine, sheesh," Victini said, opening the curtain. He looked over the sea of chairs set up for a party on the Secret Skerry, where the entire cast, their family members, the bean counters, and quite a few legendary Pokemon and celebrities were waiting for him to make an appearance. When they saw him they broke into applause.

"Hey everyone!" Victini said in his best host voice. "You all know who I am, so I won't bother introducing myself. It's been one hell of a show, and we've spent so long together it feels like we're a giant dysfunctional family."

Tepig wrapped an arm around Minccino, who leaned into his touch. Infernape had both arms around Donphan and Ivysaur, and even Braixen and Grovyle seemed to be tolerating each other, clinking wine glasses.

"It's been a long, dramatic and hilarious season," Victini said, grinning in memory. "From Pidgey's elimination, to Tepig's shenanigans, to Zorua's redemption, I'm sure we'll remember the experience we've shared together for a long time. It's an end of an era, and I hope it changed everyone for the better."

"Hear hear!" Audino shouted, and they broke into applause once again.

"But now it's time to introduce our two greatest contestants," Victini said. "The two who stayed on the island longer than anyone else, and survived every challenge they faced. First off, runner-up, Shuckle!"

Victini moved to the side, letting Shuckle crawl up to the podium. He blushed at the roaring cheers sent his way, and he waved shyly.

"I've always been an awkward, shy nobody," Shuckle said. "But this experience really made me feel alive. Every victory was an ecstasy, every loss was a heavy blow, and I've made friends, and er, enemies, that will last a lifetime. Getting second place is certainly bittersweet, because let's face it, winning would be awesome, but I'm proud of myself for making it as far as I did and keeping my head up high when I did lose. Victory or no, this will always be an experience I remember positively."

Cheers met his speech, especially from Munchlax, Plusle, and Bidoof. Shuckle blushed again, accepting the silver trophy gratefully before crawling down to a newly restored Roy Mustang to wheel to his friends.

Victini clapped, before floating up to the podium again. "And now, the Pokemon who won it all, who ate more than she could chew and spit it out time and time again-UMBREON!"

If the crowd cheered for Shuckle, it roared for Umbreon, who walked up to the podium, cool as ever.

She gave a lazy grin. "So uh….I may be a little bit drunk right now…"

Her audience laughed, while Victini put his face in his hands, groaning loudly.

"But seriously, uh…..I want to thank everybody in the cast, for being eliminated before me so I could win," Umbreon joked. More laughter. Even Scrafty snickered a little at that.

"I'm sure all of you heard me complain," Umbreon admitted. "A lot. And while I'll still complain for years to come….I guess the experience didn't suck as much as I thought it would. Not that I'd ever do it again, but-"

"Ooookay that's enough," Victini said, shooing her off the podium, before tossing her a gold trophy. "This is why we can't have nice things."

Hariyama presented a large briefcase with stacks of money in it. Umbreon practically drooled at the sight.

"Enjoy the night, folks!" Victini said. "This here marks the end of Total Pokkemon Island! Who's ready to party?"

0000

The party was massive and incredible. Victini had put the rest of the show's budget into it, figuring that there would be nothing left to do with the money anyways. A stage show was set up for Pokemon to sing, food and drink outlined the entirety of the skerry, and everyone was treating the grass below them like their own personal dance floor. Umbreon was for once treated with tons of attention, but surprisingly didn't seem to be bothered by it. In fact, she was happier than most Pokemon had ever seen her, drinking, laughing, and refusing to let go of Bidoof.

"So!" Infernape chattered, vibrating like usual. "What are you guys doing after this?"

"Well, Zorua and I are going to move in together," Ampharos said, squeezing her paw. "She apparently has this elaborate plan to prank all the kids who picked on her in high school."

Zorua blushed a little. "Most of my plans required someone taller to execute them, so they were all pipe dreams. Now I have Ampharos at my disposal."

"Send a video, dude," Infernape said with a giggle.

"As for little old me," Donphan said. "I plan to make my way to the big city to officially jump start my acting career. Who knows? You may see me on the silver screen."

"Looking forward to it, buddy," Ampharos said, clinking glasses with him. "By the way…have any of you seen Ivysaur?"

"He's with his father, I think…" Donphan said. "I talked showbusiness with him a bit earlier."

"Wait," Braixen said, overhearing. "Ivysaur's dad is here?"

"Yeah, what of it?" Donphan asked with a confused look.

Zorua and Ampharos exchanged a glance. "Uh-oh."

Infernape giggled. "I feel like I'm missing something here."

0000

Lopunny raised an eyebrow as Lucario returned to her table, grinning radiantly.

"Who was that Lycanroc you were talking to?" Lopunny asked. "If I didn't know any better I'd say you have a hot date!"

"Oh ha, ha," Lucario said rolling her eyes. "It's pretty ironic actually. That guy was an agent for Pokken Tournament, and apparently he'd been watching the show and gauging my strengths."

"Ooh," Lopunny said. "Does that mean?"

Lucario held up a letter with a victorious grin. "Guess what made his mind up? The fact that I was willing to sacrifice that much money for the tournament. I guess in a weird way, Scrafty helped me get in after all, huh?"

"Whoo!" Lopunny said, giving her a hug. "That's awesome! Alright, for celebration, I'll give you this next dance."

Lucario immediately blushed and made unintelligible excuses.

"Platonically. As a friend, dummy," Lopunny said with a giggle. "C'mon."

Lucario chuckled. "Well, in that case I'd be happy to oblige."

Tepig looked on as they giggled and danced. "You know what sucks? They never kissed once in the show. That's so unfair."

"Tepig!" Minccino said, slapping him on the back of the head.

"Ow, it was a joke, woman, calm down!" Tepig yelped, rubbing the back of his head.

"Hey, Tepig," Minccino asked after a little while. "You and Zorua….you don't…really have a thing for her, do you? Because if you are, then I don't want to get in the-"

"Oy. Shut up," Tepig said, before giving her a deep and passionate kiss, long enough for it to be a bit awkward for people watching. They broke away, Minccino with a massive blush on her face.

"You're the only one I want, Minccino," Tepig said. "And the only girl that matters to me, savvy?"

Minccino had a dazed look on her face. "Y-yeah. Understood."

"Now," Tepig said, holding out a hand to her. "Shall we show these bogans what a real tango looks like?"

"Alright, I'll take it," Minccino said, letting him lead her to the "dance floor".

"'Course, I reckon if you and Zorua were into it, I'd totally be up for a three-"

"You ruined it, Tepig."

0000

Scrafty stretched as he sat at the dock, watching Hariyama clean off the boat and tossing used cigarettes into the water below. He glanced Audino as she sat next to him.

"Some of them are going to file lawsuits against you," she said after a moment of silence. "And they have a solid argument for doing so."

Scrafty nodded to himself for a moment. "Which ones?"

"I think you know which ones."

Scrafty cracked a smirk at that, before it faded into a neutral expression. "But not you though."

"What would you even have to give?" was Audino's response.

"Cigarettes?" Scrafty said, grinning and waving them in front of her.

Audino hesitated for a moment. "Oh…what the hell. Toss one here."

Scrafty wordlessly gave her a cigarette and lit it for her, and they smoked in silence.

"…Is it my fault?" Audino asked after a few moments in a very soft voice.

"Pardon?" Scrafty asked.

"Is the reason you voted me off my fault?" Audino asked. "Was I too innocent and sweet? Was I…I don't know, overbearing, or-?"

"No," Scrafty said in a very firm voice. "Of course it's not your fault. I'm a toxic person, Audino, and if there's one thing you should learn from our relationship it's that you shouldn't blame yourself because of the horrible decisions I make. I'm the bad part, and for a while you were the best thing that ever happened to me."

"Let me help you," Audino pleaded. "You can change!"

"No," Scrafty said in a very defeated voice. "I can't."

Audino didn't know how to respond.

"Promise me one thing, Audino, okay?" Scrafty asked.

"I…sure," Audino said.

"Forget about me. Move on, live a happy life with someone you deserve, and don't bother yourself with me anymore," Scrafty said. "If there's really any way I can be happy in this world, it's the comfort of knowing the damage to you I caused wasn't permanent, and that there's no way I could ever hurt you again. Please, Audino?"

Audino rose to her feet and wiped away a tear. "Okay, Scrafty. I promise."

She walked away, back to the happy voices and cheers. To the place she would be happy.

Scrafty lay on his back, looking at the stars above. He took a deep breath and sighed.

"This isn't supposed to be my day," he said in an irritated voice. "Cut back to the people who deserve to be happy."

0000

"Brilliant end to a season, eh?" Victini asked Manaphy as they sipped their wine glasses. "Nice way to kick off the end of the season with a bang."

"Yeah," Manaphy admitted. "I have to admit, you really found a way to-oh my god. Victini look."

She pointed over to the food table, where an Arceus was grabbing some cupcakes.

"Oh boy, I'm screwed," Victini hissed, floating forward. "Manaphy if I die tell Hariyama I love him."

"Ah, there you are," Arceus said, looking down at Victini. This one was Dark, and he was known for being a little quieter and classier than the others. "I'll be honest I'm impressed. This show had quite a satisfying end for having such a terrible beginning. I quite enjoyed myself."

"I….yes…sir….thank you sir…" Victini mumbled to himself.

"Oh, be still, I'm not going to punish you for all the trouble you caused," Arceus said, rolling his eyes. "Mostly because I found it all very entertaining."

"Wait, really?" Victini asked.

"I have a better question though," Dark Arceus said, giving Victini a very shrewd look. "Now that you've tasted fame, what will you do? Will you let it go to your head and change again?"

"I doubt it," Victini said, a lot more comfortable now that he knew he wasn't going to lose legendary privileges. "There's no chance we have the budget for a second season, and I'm ready to put this all behind me."

"Don't count your Torchic before they hatch," Dark Arceus replied. "In fact…I have a feeling you'll have to make a very important choice soon."

"Pardon?" Victini asked. "Choice? Torchic? What?"

"Farwell, Victini," Dark Arceus said. "I'll be watching you. Why Hariyama, is that you, you wily old bastard? Please, allow me to have a drink with you!"

As his friend walked off with his superior, Victini let out a deep sigh of relief.

"What the hell was that all about?" Manaphy asked, giving Victini a strange look.

"Just an omnipotent being watching my life like a soap opera," Victini grumbled. "I need something to drink."

0000

"Not one for parties, I assume?" Grovyle asked Gallade, who was sitting by himself, beer in hand.

"Would you have guessed?" Gallade asked with a coy smile.

"Maybe," Grovyle said, giving him a playful push.

"Still, I'm enjoying myself," Gallade said. "I've grown quite fond of the people here, even if I prefer watching them from a distance."

"What about me?" Grovyle asked. "Do you want me at a distance…..or…closer?"

"How does arm's length sound?" Gallade asked, very seriously.

They both broke into laughter, surprising many Pokemon, who thought that Gallade lacked the ability.

0000

"Did you really have to pick a fight with Giratina?" Sylveon asked, doing her best to clean Bidoof's wounds without Audino present. She did her best, but she really didn't have her friend's expertise. "He's twice your size and also the overlord of the distortion world, as he often reminds us."

"Yeah, I did," Bidoof said, grinning despite his many wounds. "Was a matter of pride."

"Nothing's sexier than a man taking a beating in my name," Umbreon drawled, nuzzling him.

Sylveon couldn't help but giggle. "You two are so weird."

0000

"Wow, I didn't realize we'd been playing for hours," Shuckle said in a hoarse voice. "We got so many encores…"

"We make a good duet bro," Munchlax said, just as tired. Plusle helped them flop into chairs and gave them each a glass of water.

"You two sounded great!" Plusle said, clapping her hands. "You two really have a future if you keep honing your skills."

"Totally," Munchlax coughed. "But only if Bidoof promises to ACTUALLY BE A PRESENT MEMBER OF THE BAND!"

"Give him a break," Plusle said with a giggle. "He and Umbreon are getting…. closer."

They relaxed a while, talking about this and that, until-

"Hey Shuckle?" Munchlax asked. "You are okay, right? About not winning, I mean."

"I'll be fine," Shuckle said. "I know I made it clear I wanted to win badly, but it was more of a pride thing than anything else. I was beaten fair and square, and now I can move on with my life. With you guys."

"Awww…." Plusle cooed. "We love you too, Shuckle!"

"Romantic tension levels rising…." Roy Mustang whispered to Shuckle from under him. "Now I believe would be a good time to exit stage left."

"Well, Roy and I are going to find a bar where he can get hired at," Shuckle said, winking at them. "You two have fun!"

"Wait, Shuckle, don't…." Munchlax started, but Shuckle was already gone, laughing to himself.

Munchlax and Plusle sat awkwardly together, before Plusle cleared her throat.

"Um…so…it's just the two of us now…and… Bidoof seems pretty smitten with Umbreon," Plusle said, awkwardly adjusting herself in her chair. "So, um…I was wondering if you and I…."

"Yes!" Munchlax said, causing Plusle to laugh.

"Well that was easier than I thought," Plusle said, holding Munchlax's hand. "Maybe we can consider this our first date?"

"What made you come around, Plusle?" Munchlax asked. "I was under the impression that you only liked me as a friend."

"No, uh…" Plusle went red. "The truth is I've had the biggest crush on you since the beginning of the show. The only reason I was so hesitant was because Bidoof got in the way…."

"Oh…" Munchlax said, laughing. "Me too."

"Hey. Pssst… mistletoe!" Phione said, the sheet still on his head. He was dangling it in front of them.

"Dude, Christmas is already over," Munchlax said. "That whole trope only really works in season, doesn't it?"

"I already said I'm the ghost of Christmas passed!" Phione raged. "Why does nobody get that!"

Before Munchlax could argue any further, Plusle leaned over the table and kissed Munchlax on the cheek. She grinned at Munchlax, who was blushing, before finding herself in a sweeping embrace as Munchlax kissed her passionately.

"Eep!" Plusle shrieked, dragging the tablecloth with her as they fell on the grass below.

"Wow," Phione said, pulling up the sheet covering his head. "This is some juicy stuff!"

0000

The party was winding down, and Pokemon were beginning to leave, exchanging goodbyes, hugs, and even a few middle fingers. Victini was leading the interns in cleanup, realizing that they were short on time for how long they had both islands booked.

Just as he was planning to pack his things back in his personal cabin, he heard a cough behind him.

Turning around, he was faced to face with a very official looking Venusaur, a very awkward Ivysaur at his side.

"Can I help you?" Victini asked.

The Venusaur took a sip of wine from the glass he was carrying in a vine. "Nice to meet you. I'm Venusaur of Venusaur studios, movie director, philanthropist, mob boss. I wanted to thank you for the experience you've given my son."

"Uh…sure…" Victini said. "I'm glad he enjoyed myself."

"In fact," Venusaur said, almost interrupting the legendary Pokemon. "I wanted to make you an offer."

"Okay?" Victini asked, still very confused.

"I want your show," Venusaur said. "Season two, bigger, better, and you still get to be host. Deal?"

"Whoa, whoa, wait…WHAT!?" Victini asked.

"Look, I've seen your ratings kid," Venusaur said, sipping his wine. "You have potential, but your marketing's a shit show. You want another bite at the apple, I'm your man."

"Oh…" Victini said, slightly overwhelmed. "I….well….I'm not sure what to say."

"Look, name an actor," Venusaur said. When Victini tried to respond, Venusaur interrupted. "Doesn't matter who it was you were going to say, I was the person that made him great. When Venusaur makes you an offer, kid, you take it. Now, are you going to make the right choice?"

Choice.

Victini's eyes dawned in realization. This was what Arceus met. What would he do?

"I'm sorry, Venusaur, but I must respectfully decline," Victini said somberly.

"Wait," Ivysaur said. "Really?"

"Pssh hell no, I'm not an idiot!" Victini said, shaking Venusaur's hand. "Let's make this happen!"

"Knew you had common sense," Venusaur said with an encouraging nod. "Now let's work out the details in my private jet…"

0000

Charizard leaned in his cot, flicking off the television. So that was it then, huh? Umbreon won?

It turned out that investigations had been done on Charizard when he revealed his unstable nature on the show, and old dirt was being dug up on him. He would stand trial for his actions in a few months, but for now he was essentially under house arrest. Not by technicality, but there was no way he'd go out for too long with everybody watching his every move…

He didn't have too many friends anymore, considering all the terrible things he had been seen doing on the show, but he expected it. All in all, he was surviving, but at least he could feel comfortable knowing he could do his best to move on and that he was getting better.

A doorbell rang, and Charizard's throat leapt. An old friend coming to visit him? He practically ran to the doorway, and his heart punctured at the sight of what was out to greet him. Just the mail. More bills he'd barely be able to pay.

Still, one letter was different than the others. It had bright colors and when he opened it, he gaped in surprise.

It was a 'Get Well Soon Card', signed by the cast of Total Pokkemon Island, along with phone numbers underneath. Not everyone was there (Carbink and Scrafty abstained) but it was enough. In neat handwriting there was a message he recognized from Sylveon.

"Keep at it Charizard. We know you have it tough, but at least know that we'll be supportive no matter what happens. Call us if you need us to; I'm sure at least one of us will be able to pick up the phone.

We forgive you,

The Cast of Total Pokkemon Island."

Charizard could feel himself tearing up. "Thanks," he muttered, sniffling a little.

0000

HOLY SHIT, THIS IS THE LAST AUTHOR'S NOTE!

Finally, after over two years, we say goodnight to Total Pokkemon Island. It was such a fun ride, and even though there were ups and downs, it's an experience I'll remember fondly for years to come.

Yes, Umbreon won the vote, not by a huge margin, but still a decent one. Shuckle was in the lead at first, but last minute voters really sealed the deal on Umbreon's victory. Hope you guys are happy with how that turned out.

Before we say goodbye, there are some people I'd like to thank. Diamond Toxic/Fire Slash, my original collaborator, who helped out a lot with the early chapters, Premasaur, my lovely editor, Fuzzboy, who's been a great critic and helped beta read a few of my chapters, Dark Arcanine, for helping make kickass crossovers (including the longest chapter in the story), and everyone who submitted OC's and reviews.

Finally, I want to thank Dark Amphithere, for being my mentor and inspiration in writing this story. He gave me really good advice whenever I felt down about the story the most, and I'm really grateful for it.

Season two will come soon, but for now it's time to say goodbye. It's a little bittersweet, sure, but all good things must come to an end, and I have new projects on the horizon!

Until we meet again,

~Shuckle Master