Chapter Thirty Six

Jasper

I hadn't realized how much being separated from Bella would affect me now I had discovered she was my mate, sure I'd heard all the talk about the mating pull and how hard it was to be away from your mate but I guess I'd always thought it was overstated, after all, couples did cope with being apart, Carlisle and Esme were apart from time to time, so were Eleazar and Carmen, even Emmett and Rosalie had been apart for days at a time when we guys went on one of our hiking trips alone although he had been over the moon to see her again when we returned. Maybe it got easier with time or maybe it was easier to bear once you and your mate were joined together but I was finding every hour away from Bella more difficult than the last. There was no pain as such but my nerves were stretched taut and my skin felt as if it were alive with static electricity tingling and driving me crazy. Every noise outside was magnified until I wanted to scream for silence but instead, I sat quiet and conjured her up in my mind pretending that I was with her and not shut up in this miserable dark place waiting for Aro to decide on his next step.

I knew Bella was special and not only because of what she meant to me, she was gifted and her gift was extremely powerful, so powerful that although Aro desperately wanted her for the Volturi he had deemed it necessary to allow her to leave hoping to lure her back of her own accord by holding me although he wasn't sure she was my mate, he only suspected it from my actions. So long as she was human he could never be entirely sure and my friends would ensure she remained human and safe.

What Aro would do if I continued refusing to admit to it I could only imagine but he hated to be thwarted, what he wanted Aro inevitably got. My only hope was Marcus, we had been friends although he might have decided to wash his hands of me because I had betrayed him too.

I found myself tearing at the exposed flesh of my arms although my nails made little difference to my crystal hard flesh, it just made me feel better as did pacing my room. The feeling reminded me of the build up to an attack when I had been with Maria, there was tension in the air, an atmosphere of expectancy when you just wanted to get going but here there was to be no such outlet just the feeling and the four blank walls.

It was a relief when the door finally opened again although I was surprised to see Santiago and Afton standing in the light from the corridor. Neither spoke, they just stepped inside and the door closed once more and I knew there would be trouble.

"It's good to have company."

Santiago scowled,

"I thought you were my friend, Major, that we were comrades in arms."

"We are, if not I would have killed you."

"I spent two days recovering from your tampering with my mind."

"I know and I'm sorry but I wanted to make sure you stayed under and I brought both of you back unharmed."

"So what's the deal Major? How come Aro hasn't put you on trial as a traitor?"

I turned to Afton,

"Probably because I'm not, I didn't betray anything or anyone, I just saved a friend."

"A human and why Aro allowed her to go free is something everyone is trying to work out."

He stared at me but I just shrugged,

"If you want the answer to that question I suggest you ask him yourself but she's no threat to us."

"You know if anyone had told me you would turn on your own friends I would have laughed at them, I never took you for a turncoat. It leaves a nasty taste in the mouth."

I didn't reply, there was nothing I could say if I explained then Aro would have all he needed to bring Bella back which would result in danger to my friends who would fight for her to the last.

They didn't wait for an answer, in any case, they just attacked and although I could have taken both of them probably my attempt was very half hearted, they were right, in their eyes, I had betrayed them and deserved to be punished. I was weaker than I had realized, obviously being in here without any food was taking its toll on me, the only good thing was that my last meal has been human blood which lasted longer in the system.

When they left a few minutes later I was weaker still with broken limbs which would heal slowly and painfully but it could have been much worse and Afton was supported by Santiago as his almost severed leg dragged along the ground. Of course, the exertion made me thirstier than I had already been and I wondered if Aro was going to starve me into submission. Or was he just weakening me until Alec or Jane could use their influence on me or even Chelsea? I was surprised that Jane hadn't accompanied Santiago and Afton, she was usually keen on any kind of physical altercation especially if it ended up with an enemy writhing on the ground. Maybe she had her orders to stay away, I had no idea and I was too weary to care. Instead, I lowered myself gently onto the ledge and lay down closing my eyes and waiting as patiently as I could for my injuries to heal. The pain had taken my mind off my maddening symptoms of being away from my mate but these soon came crashing down on me too and I groaned as I tried to shut them out even if only a little.

Carlisle

Perhaps Jasper was right, that Bella was gifted and Aro wanted her more than William but there had to be a way to pay my one time friend for his treachery, I still found it almost impossible to believe the damage he had wrought from my plea for help. Esme had been horrified by the truth, angry that I had acted without consulting her but so far she had backed me, even to the extent of coming to Volterra when I asked her.

She had found Sulpicia and Athenadora stimulating company and I began to worry when she spoke of the idea of moving permanently to Volterra.

"Esme, I didn't come here to stay, I'm just trying to help Jasper, then we can leave, go home and start again."

"Start what exactly Carlisle? What home? All the houses we own are just that now, houses. A house only becomes a home when it is filled with a family and we no longer have one. I've stood by you even though your actions lost me a family I loved and I miss terribly so now I'm thinking of me. I like having other women to talk to, Sulpicia and Athenadora treat me as if I were a sister and that means a lot to me, especially now. What's so wrong in wanting to belong? The Volturi aren't bad, you said so yourself, they are misunderstood sometimes but they do keep our kind safe. I think I could be happy here, Sulpicia even suggested I might help out in the artifact stores. Did you know they have rooms and rooms full of antique furniture, paintings, statues, and all kinds of things? Some of which are centuries old? There are even textiles and clothing and I could be a part of turning these things into a museum for the human world, I could even redecorate parts of the citadel."

"It sounds like they've worked out how to tempt you, my dear."

My tone was bitter, I didn't want to stay here, Aro knew that but I wouldn't mind betting that he was the driving force behind Sulpicia's offer.

"It's not all beauty and sweetness, you forget I lived here for decades, I know."

"You mean their dining habits? They would never force us to change our diet, they may not understand it but they accept our choice."

So, she really had been thinking deeply about this.

"The Volturi are a police force, terrible decisions are sometimes made here, people die Esme."

Her eyes narrowed,

"Make up your mind Carlisle, are they good or evil? What do you have against living in Italy? Sulpicia said that Aro would even be happy if you wanted to open a clinic here in town to help the poorer members of society, they only have one doctor here, if they need urgent medical help they must travel all the way to Pisa, think of the difference you could make to the lives of Volterra's citizens."

They had spun such a pretty web to catch Esme that I could see it would be difficult for me to destroy but I didn't feel happy at the notion of staying here, nor permanently.

"If you must go off and find a way to pay William back then go ahead but I won't be trailing along behind you, I can see a good life for me here, a way forward now the family are gone."

I decided to argue with her was pointless so I excused myself and went to find Aro who was with his wife in her suite, a picture of domestic bliss set out before me.

"Why are you encouraging Esme to stay Aro? You know I do not want to live here permanently."

He looked at his wife as if my accusation were something new to them both,

"My dear Carlisle you have us all wrong. Esme seemed terribly depressed after losing all those she cared for and Sulpicia was trying to cheer her up, give her life a purpose once more. Besides, she, Sulpicia and Athenadora get along so well, it is a novelty to have someone new in the Citadel especially someone with vision and energy. Of course, the choice is Esme's own, your wife has a mind of her own Carlisle, I think sometimes you forget that she needs room and the incentive to grow."

I shook my head even though I knew Aro was right, I just couldn't imagine staying here in Volterra and realized I had been a fool to come here even to help Jasper. Thinking about it this might be William's final throw of the dice, force me to stay here, somewhere he knew I would be unhappy just to keep my mate contented and there was me thinking I could put one over on him by offering his whereabouts to the Volturi? Had I tracked him down through my own skill or has he made it easy for me so he could draw me in like a fly to a web? It was a sobering thought but one I could not shake as I walked slowly back to our suite trying to decide what to do.

In the event, the decision was made for me when I discovered that Esme was arranging to have her personal possessions shipped over.

"I can't go back Carlisle and I have a chance to feel useful here. If, when Rose and Emmett get back, they want me to go home then I'll consider returning. I hope you'll stay Carlisle but you must do what you decide is best for you just as I am."

I was defeated and she could tell by my stance and stood up to pull me close,

"I know we can make this work Carlisle if you'll just give it a chance, thank you, my love."

I just wished I had her confidence but what worried me more was that she knew Jasper was here, incarcerated by the Volturi yet she had not visited him, not even asked after him. Had she washed her hands of the only remaining member of the family still within reach or was this more of William's devious work?