Chapter 35: This is the Time and Place to be Alive

Claudia

April 20

Poor Mom. She's been playing messenger between Janine and Dad. Well, when either of them decide to have anything to do with one another. I've tried to talk to Janine, but she's been upset with me, too, and doesn't usually let me get more than a few words out before making up an excuse and hanging up. I hate to say it, but we've turned into a full fledged dysfunctional family.

Mom, Dad, and I were eating dinner together tonight. It was nearly four-thirty, which meant that Dad then Mom would be getting home soon. I had used some of my vacation time to get the best of the fresh spring air. Unfortunately, it had been mostly rainy this past week. It wasn't that bad, though. It gave me even more time to work on my artwork. I needed to put together a really good portfolio for next August. Even though I had already been accepted into Stoneybrook College, I didn't need to prove myself, but I also didn't want to go to school without working on maintaining and improving my craft.

I had been working on sketching the tree in front of our house, which was just starting to bud, with the rain falling down around and dripping off of its branches. I wanted to capture its lively beauty. It was so fresh and sweet looking, but also so forbidding with its sheer mass and the threatening clouds above it. It was so hard to capture with words, at least for me, that I decided to try and capture it with watercolors. Maybe acrylics. I hadn't decided which medium to go with yet.

The phone began to ring inside the house, so I folded up my sketching kit and hurried inside. I caught the phone on the last ring before it went to the machine.

"Hello?"

"Claudia?"

"This is she," I said. I hated saying that. It sounds stupid, but I could never think of anything better.

"It's me. Stacey."

"Hey, Stacey. How come you didn't call my phone number? Why'd you call the house?"

"I did call you first," she said. "Your answering machine came on. Then I called your cell. Same thing. Finally, I decided against all hope to call your house. And, thus, my story comes to an end."

I laughed. "I've been outside, working on some sketches. I must've left my cell phone upstairs because I didn't hear that or my phone ring."

"That's all right," she said. I remembered what had happened the last time I had seen her.

"Is everything all right, Stacey?"

She paused for a moment. "Yeah, I guess so. At least, there's nothing new to report. After the police brought him in, he was officially arrested. I lucked out, though, because the judge deemed him to be an immediate threat to me and didn't offer him any bail. He figured Teddy would ignore any restraining orders since he tracked me back to my mother's house."

"That piece of garbage," I groaned. "He's such a tool."

"My feelings exactly." I could hear her shuffling around and knew she was gathering up her laundry. She liked talking on the phone, mostly with me, whenever she did laundry. "But, no, I just felt like chatting. Laundry day, you know."

"You only call me on laundry days," I pouted. "Am I that boring that only laundry is less stimulating?"

"Don't flatter yourself," Stacey said. "Laundry is still your superior."

"Nice, Stacey. I think."

We laughed for a few seconds. Stacey cleared her throat. "I was just calling to talk to you about Kristy. Is it true that she went to Seattle? I saw it in Mary Anne's profile, but I didn't want to ask her about it since it must still be kind of a touchy subject with Mary Anne."

It was kind of a touchy subject with me, too, but I didn't tell that to Stacey.

"Yeah, she left. I guess the family here in Stoneybrook haven't been doing that well."

"Why?" Stacey asked. "I mean, what's going on?"

"I guess it's mostly Karen. She's been acting out a lot now," I told her. "I mean, she's been doing it for a while, but in the past two days, she's been absolutely out of control. She's been talking back in school, starting fights, and holes up in her bedroom the moment she comes home. I guess Mr. and Mrs. Brewer have decided to send her to her mother's house for the next couple of weeks in order to help get her out of this funk she's in. Kristy needed a change of pace and Karen does, too."

"What does Karen think?" Stacey asked. I sighed.

"I went over to baby-sit last night since Kristy is gone and Jessi can't really do it all on her own, and Karen is really hard to work with at all anymore. I got her to talk to me a little bit, though." I sighed. "She's really against the visit to her mother's. Nobody is listening to her, though. Since Kristy seems to be doing well so far out in Seattle, they're convinced that Karen will do the same."

"Why doesn't Karen like her mother?"

"She wouldn't say."

We sat in silence for a bit, each too absorbed in our own thoughts to talk. Stacey remembered she was on the phone first.

"How are you doing, Claud?"

I shrugged. "Fine, I guess. Everything's been so tense around here since the accident in January. I figured that things would've cooled down by now, but Dad and Janine are still at one another's throats."

"That sucks," Stacey told me sympathetically. "I'm sorry."

I shrugged. "I guess it could be worse. Besides, at least it's not bad so long as we don't talk about Janine." I paused. "I'd rather not talk about her right now, if that's all right."

"Yeah, of course."

I heard the front door open and close from where I was in the kitchen. "Oh, sorry, Stace. I think Dad's home. I was going to help him start dinner so that it would be ready when Mom got home."

She giggled. "Sounds like it'll be an interesting meal."

"I can make other things besides macaroni and hotdogs."

"Sure you can," she said soothingly. I laughed.

"All right, you disbeliever. I'm going to leave you now in the land of the bitter."

"You love me!" she called before we hung up. I hurried into the kitchen where I found my father. He smiled when he saw me.

"Claudia! I was beginning to worry that you had left me all alone in the kitchen. I was thinking of a way to explain to your mother that we baked a pizza that tastes exactly like Mario's."

"I should've stayed upstairs," I laughed. "That would've been interesting."

"Oh, ha ha," he said dryly. "Help me start this thing before we really do have to order that pizza."

"Yes sir!" I called and began to help him fix up an edible meatloaf.

35

"So, Mom, how was your day?" I asked. Mom glanced at me over her forkful of meatloaf.

"Good, Claudia," she answered, shooting an amused look at my father. "How was yours?"

"Not too good."

Mom's amused look turned a little more concerned. "Did something bad happen?"

I shook my head slowly. "I was on the phone with Stacey and we got to talking about Janine and I-"

Mom shook her head quickly as Dad sat up a little straighter and more rigid in his chair. "Claudia, not now."

I think I surprised all of us when I slammed my fork down. Mom sighed heavily and Dad shot me a warning look. Too bad warning looks tended to be all together lost on me.

"This isn't right!" I said strongly. "She's my sister! Your daughter! Why can't we just work this all out?"

"Claudia, you don't understand," Dad said stiffly. I felt bad then. He had been in such a good mood, and Mom, too, before I decided to sabotage dinner. "This isn't a simple problem."

"It is," I insisted. "Just call her and apologize. She will, too, I bet."

"Young lady, drop it," Dad snapped.

"Dad, I just want us to be a family again!"

Dad stood up, much to my surprise. I shot a frightened look in Mom's direction and she gently placed her hand over his. Dad shook his head.

"Claudia, maybe it would be best for you to excuse yourself," she said quietly.

"I'm not finished," I told them.

"You can finish later," Mom insisted. I shook my head.

"I can't believe this! Dad, please!"

"Claudia! Out!"

I pushed my chair back and without clearing my place or saying anything else, stormed out of the kitchen and into the living room. My heart was pounding in my ears and I knew I couldn't stand another minute in this house. I grabbed my purse from off the table and slammed open the front door. I got into my car, backed it out of the driveway, and got away from our house fast.

35

Barnes and Noble.

The last place people would think to look for me is at a book store. Which made going to a book store the easiest place to hide away from the world. It helped that the book store was actually a really neat place, too.

As though there was some god of sugary sweets, a tiny Starbucks was also within the store. Most of the time, I would browse around for a while, purchase a book, then spend a couple of hours chilling out in the little café, reading and sucking down drink after tasty drink. I'd be on a complete caffeine buzz when I left, but I'd have another book to add to my collection. If you know anything about my parents, they're always thrilled when I return home with a new book, even if I've spent a lot more money on guzzling down variations of coffee.

Tonight, however, was not a normal night. I didn't casually browse through the books I thought might interest me. Tonight, as soon as I parked my car, I headed straight for the coffee bar and a big, foamy, creamy drink. With my head down, I took it and headed straight for the table in the darkest, most secluded corner. Feeling sulky, I began to suck down my drink, fully intending on refilling it once it was gone.

However, about halfway through my drink, I felt someone standing near me and looked up to see a man standing a few feet from my table. He smiled when I looked him in the eye.

"You stole it," he said. I shook my head.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"You stole my sulking table."

I laughed. "Is that what this table is?"

He gestured towards the chair nearest to him and nodded for him to take a seat. "That's what I use it for. Hardly anyone ever sits back here, especially on a weeknight."

"Well, I had a fight with my parents," I groaned. "They're being their usual, insane selves."

"You live with your parents?" I studied his face carefully.

"Yeah, until I move out next semester to go to school." He nodded.

"Don't worry, I still live at home. The world doesn't normally bestow a lot of money on Humanities majors. You have to spend all the extra money to get a masters or doctoral degree."

I wrinkled my nose. "Ew."

"You can say that again," he said with a sigh. "So, how old are you, exactly? I know it sounds weird, but if you're only 14 or something, I am going to have to excuse myself."

I laughed. "I'm 19."

"I'm 21," he said with a grin. "At least we're legal… uh, you know I don't actually know your name."

"I forgot my nametag again?" I asked stupidly as I looked down at my shirt. He laughed and so did I. "My name's Claudia… what's your name?"

"Jack." Jack. That was a cute name. "I was wondering, since we seem to have similar tastes in hideaways that you might like to go out to dinner one evening at one of my favorite dinner hideaways."

I grinned. "I think I'd like that very much."

We continued to talk and get to know one another. As we did, I felt Janine slip farther and farther away from my mind. Why bother think about something upsetting when a man is trying so hard to make you laugh? Since I had no answer, I simply let her slide away from me to wait for when I did have the time and desire to think about our family situation again.