Jealousy

Mai's Perspective

Uh! That little snitch! She just had to come into my life and ruin everything! She seems so innocent, but I don't believe a word that comes out of her mouth. She's sided with Azula – I'm sure of it. I could tell from the way she asked Zuko to free Azula and trust her. Azula is Azula: she will never change. This is a part of their plan to take over the Fire Nation: from the inside. Everything has been so perfectly framed that anyone who had enough compassion would fall for their tricks. But my mind is clear and I'm being critical of their every move. My vision is unbiased and sharp – they can't fool me. It's been eight hours since I last spoke to Zuko.

Cautiously, I opened the door so I could peek into Mi Li's room. I knew what to expect – that little actress would be alive and well, smiling to herself for achieving her goal. Through the tiny gap, I gasped quietly.

Zuko was in the room! Why would he be in there? I couldn't explain the scene before me. There he sat, by her bedside, staring at her with glazed eyes. Had the chameleon's charms influenced my boyfriend more than I thought? I fumbled for an answer. Hoping to find it, I stood motionlessly by the door, listening for the slightest hint. I watched and waited for countless minutes, but Zuko remained as frozen as me. Then, it was as though he could sense my presence. Slowly, he turned his head towards the door. Without any delays, I turned and slid into the darkness of the evening halls. On the crimson carpets my footsteps were as mute as the still night air. Not a single living thing was to be heard, only the shallow breath of the chilly breeze.

I sighed as I entered my room, closing the door in a state of exhaustion. He had been ignoring me all day, and I had been doing the same to him. But now he was actually grieving for her? She's not even dead for crying out loud! I should have ruined her image when I had the chance; that way, she would have been too embarrassed to show her face here again. She sure had the guts to say she wasn't trying to steal my boyfriend. What a liar!

I folded my arms and sat on the edge of my bed. He skipped lunch to ponder in his room. I wanted to check on him and talk about it, but we probably would've started arguing instead. So I decided to spend the rest of the afternoon in my room. I wrote a letter to Ty Lee. I wanted to know how she was doing, now that she was one of the Kyoshi Warriors. But as I began, I couldn't seem to find the energy to write. It took me an entire hour just to finish a short paragraph.

Well, dinner is in another hour, so he'd better be there. If he isn't, I'll go in there and drag him out myself. Feeling exhausted, I lay back onto my bed, crunching into a ball on my side. I closed my eyes and relaxed into the cool surface of the soft blanket. Resting on the bed helped to calm me. I found that I was able to think better when I was relaxed like this. Soon, there was a light knocking on my door.

"Mai? Are you in there?" It was Ursa.

"Yes, I'm here," I answered without moving the rest of my body.

"Dinner is almost ready. Come down soon, okay?"

"Okay."

Then the footsteps trailed away into the distance and were no longer heard. I was still lying on my bed another few minutes later. I just didn't feel like eating. But because I was utterly bored, I decided I might as well have dinner. I left my room and headed into the dining hall downstairs. To my surprise, Zuko was already there eating with the rest of his family. I acted as if it was a normal day, but I was determined to have a discussion with him after this meal. Out of the corner of my eyes, I could see Ursa and Azula glancing curiously between the two of us. I ignored them.

Suddenly, Zuko rose from his seat, said a few short statements to his mother and sister, and silently left the room. I dropped my utensils and got up after him. Naturally, he moved like a ghost through the unlit hallways, gliding with little effort. I followed, easily keeping pace with him. It seemed he was making his way towards the royal gardens. He knew I was following him, as silent as we both were. He must also want to have this discussion.

In a matter of moments, the both of us were standing in the centre of a wide open courtyard. Paved paths, revealed by the bright silver moon, weaved through the exotic greenery. Zuko stood by a pond with his back towards me. I was five paces directly behind him. In our silence the crickets chirped, the breeze combed the leaves of the tree, and other nocturnal creatures rustled the long grasses in their night-time activities.

"What's going on?" I began bluntly.

"What do you think is going on? Isn't it obvious what's happened?" he asked back. I was surprised at how calm he sounded.

"Actually, it's not that simple. You've been different ever since you got back, and I know why. It's her – she's done something to you. But you see… she's not exactly who she says she is. It's all an act, Zuko. She's working with Azula – they're in this together. They want to take you down by pretending to be your friends and family. But Azula will always be Azula – she can't be trusted. Don't you remember how Mi Li asked you to trust her and let Azula go free? Okay, so the part about her meeting your mother is true, but that doesn't mean she's helping y–"

"Azula is a different matter. And we've already discussed this – I've approved Azula's right to maintain her status. Leave her out of this. They aren't scheming together," he interrupted.

Now he was facing me with eyes of certainty. Immediately, I noticed the change that I had almost forgotten about. He looked so different in my memories – it was like gazing at a changed man.

"Either way, Mi Li can't be trusted. That girl was cursed from the moment she was conceived," I stated in my coldest tone.

"You're just letting your jealousy get the better of you!" he accused. The signs of rage were becoming evident.

"No, I'm not! I'm concerned for you and I feel it's my duty to protect you when you're not thinking straight."

"You don't have to do that for me. Besides, I can think for myself – I'm not that easily swayed. Anyhow, someone's already taken that job from you." Then, with a glimmer of guilt, he turned away and gazed into the dark pond.

"What?" I scoffed. "Are you referring to Mi Li?" He was silent. I scoffed again. "She's protecting you? That's definitely something new for me. She's a weakling – how is she going to protect you?" I mocked.

"You don't understand, Mai. You never have, and you never will. She's unlike any of the girls I've ever met. If I've noticed anything, it's the fact that she's the opposite of you. You've always had what you wanted, and you've had an easy life, although it wasn't always exciting. But Mi Li has been forced to live her life in fear, she's lost her parents, and right now she's sacrificing her life for my face." He ended on a tone of frustration.

"Hey! I've sacrificed for you too. What, you don't think disobeying Azula has a high risk of death?" I felt insulted.

"I know you've sacrificed for me. Believe me, I've been thinking very deeply about all this. But there's a line, Mai. There's a line between love and friendship. I love you, but our relationship is slipping – you can't deny that. You know that we work well together, but we also have too many differences. It's been difficult from the beginning, and that still hasn't changed. I'm growing tired of all this arguing and fighting – we have nothing else in common except our childhood," he said solemnly. My eyes widened.

"How can you say that? After everything that we've been through together!" I was furious now.

"But it's true, Mai. We can't deny the truth. We're only together because we've known each other for so long, and we have that foundation in our relationship. But we're both growing up. Things have changed, and things will continue to change. But the one thing that is getting worse is our relationship. You know that."

"It's because of her! If she never came around, we wouldn't be in this situation. I hate her, and every facet of her being!" I could only see the hurt in Zuko's eyes.

"Yes, it is because of her. But remember, if she never existed, I wouldn't have got my family back – I'm talking about my mother and Azula. They might not mean much to you, but they mean a lot to me. For so long I felt alone, but she brought back some light into my life. Of course I had you, but then… you weren't always there with me."

"She wasn't there with you either! You met her only recently!"

"I know. But there's a difference, Mai. With some people, you need to know them for a long time to develop a strong relationship. But some people, you meet them the first time and you have an instant connection. Not that I had an instantaneous connection with Mi Li – it's just that, as I got to know her, I realised how much we understood one another. Right now, that line between friendship and love… I can't see it anymore," he explained in a state of wonder.

"You might not be able to see it, but I can – clearly! And I can see that they are the enemy. You're not giving me a chance! This isn't fair!"

"You've plenty of chances, and you've always had want you wanted, Mai. But I guess you'll just need to learn. You can't have love just when you want it: you have to give some, to get some. But even then, it's not guaranteed that you'll get any returns. For our relationship to move up to the next level, we need to have more than just love. But right now, even love is fading. I can feel it, and I'm sure you can too. Maybe... we need to move our separate ways."

"No, Zuko. No! You promised me. The day of your coronation, by the balcony… you promised," I pleaded.

"Well, to be accurate… you gave me a command." He hesitated, looking away. "I didn't say anything."

I crossed my arms. "Your silent embrace was a gesture that meant you understood. Don't try to play games with me. I'm hardly in the mood," I argued, as he huffed lightly.

"You're never in the mood."

"Excuse me?"

"It's true. Everyone would agree with me." He shrugged his shoulders casually.

"That's an exaggeration. It just so happens that when I am in the mood, you're either too busy or you have something else in mind."

"Mai, I'm the Fire Lord now. Does that not mean anything to you? I have responsibilities that are more important than having fun."

"More important than me?" I asked to make it difficult for him. He faltered. Through his golden eyes, I saw the thoughts stirring in his mind.

"Yes – more important than you," he answered blatantly. I froze, holding an expression of disbelief.

"You've change…" I whispered.

"And you haven't… much."

My jaw dropped slightly. "So now you don't even love me? From the way you're talking… it sounds like you've made up your mind. You're really going to leave me?"

"I haven't made any decisions yet. I'm still thinking things through. I'm just going to wait and see what happens. Perhaps, if we can come to a mutual agreement, we might heal our bond. Otherwise, you might have to return to your family – for both of our sakes," he suggested, sounding as though he was begging for me to leave, rather than stay. I remained silent as I thought about it.

"Of course I'm willing to try a mutual agreement. I'll do anything to avoid the latter option. I just hope Mi Li never wakes up again."

And with that death-imposing response, I turned and melted into the darkness, seething with vengeance.