This chapter was preread and beta'd by the beautiful - **Shahula and Sunflower3759**
*A/N*
This is a two-part EPOV chapter, as requested by several of you. I hope it doesn't disappoint.
Part one takes place one week before chapter 34.
"Hey, you're early," Lauren says, smiling when she answers her door.
"We need to talk."
"Okay, but my dad's home so..."
I nod, trying to think of somewhere private we can go for this.
The cabin is out of the question, because that's the place I go with Bella.
I drive to the beach, parking in an empty space.
"Why are we here?" She asks quietly.
"I don't want to hurt you, again, but I can't-"
"It's Bella," she states. "She's back now, and you're..." she pauses, shaking her head, "That's why you've been acting all pissy and distant lately, isn't it?"
"Yeah."
Lauren shakes her head. "I knew this would happen."
"I tried, but..."
"Not very hard."
She's right.
Since the first day I saw Bella at the stoplight two months ago, I knew I couldn't stay away from her forever. She and I had shared too much in the past, and when she told me that she'd changed her mind about the baby, I knew I was fucked - and not because of the baby - because I felt things for Bella that she didn't even know about.
For a few weeks, I lied to myself, thinking that maybe we could just be friends, then I realized how selfish that was. I finally worked up the nerve to tell my dad about the baby. When Bella and her father showed up at my house on the last day of school, things got real... fast. When he asked me if I loved her, I lied - out of shock, guilt - for no good reason at all. Then when Bella had acted unsure when I apologized to her, I thought maybe I'd done the right thing.
A couple nights later, my mom apologized to me, telling me that I had to be there for the baby, even if Bella and I weren't together. That night I revealed to her my true feelings for Bella. She assured me that if I was honest, things would work out.
So I tried to ask Bella if she wanted to be with me when we drove to the cabin, but she hesitated again about us being a couple, and I freaked out. I should have confessed everything right then and there, but like a pussy, I chose the easy way out.
The next day, I sat in the parking lot of the doctor's office thinking about everything. I thought for so long that I was late for the appointment. Bella's face lit up when I walked in the room, and I knew I'd done something right. That night at the beach party I watched her. Every time Lauren was around me, Bella turned her head away. To me, that was the proof I needed - she had lied about her feelings, too.
Now, a week later, I'm sitting in my car with Lauren, doing this the right way, like I should have done a long time ago.
She's not crying like the first time when I told her about Bella.
Lauren and I had only been dating for a couple of months when I found that letter in the attic. Even though she was my girlfriend, I didn't feel right sharing with her what I'd discovered. I'd known Bella a lot longer. She was the only person I trusted with something so personal.
"Just take me home, Edward," Lauren says.
I do just that, knowing that I should tell her about the baby, but she still thinks I'm a virgin. When I'd broken things off with her the first time, I only told her that I liked someone else. She's the one that guessed who it was, and I confirmed her suspicions.
Hopefully, one day I can find my way out of this never ending clusterfuck that I've created.
The following takes place at the end of chapter 30.
I watch as Lauren approaches.
Alice and Bella walk at a quick pace back to the party.
"I just came to tell you that I forgive you, and I want to still be friends. I mean... you can't help who you fall in love with, right?"
I frown because I never used the word love in any of our conversations. Then nod because maybe she knows something I don't. What if she loved me? Fuck! this is hard to deal with. I hated that I was about to hurt her even more. Would she forgive me for what I'm about to tell her?
"Right."
"Okay, so..." she turns to walk away, "bye, Edward."
"Lauren wait, there's..." I blow out a deep breath, "I need to tell you something."
She stops, and I catch up to her.
"Bella and I... we slept together."
Her eyes widen then narrow.
"When?"
"It started a few months ago."
She gasps.
"Started? You mean you've been screwing her this whole time?"
I shake my head.
"No. It was back before we broke up the first time. And now she's kinda pregnant."
"Kinda?" she shouts. "What the hell, Edward?"
She turns and starts walking toward the others.
"Lauren, wait."
She's shaking her head, increasing her pace the closer she gets.
I've never seen her act crazy, so I'm hoping things won't get out of control.
This is all my fault.
If I had told the truth from the start, none of us would be in the crazy fucking mess.
I hope that clears up some questions for you. If not, don't hesitate to shoot me a message.
Two regular updates coming up.