Chapter Thirty-Seven
The six warriors, a snake, a crane, a tigress, a monkey, a praying mantis, and a panda, each went through their routines, each doing the same moves at presicely the exact same time.
Although they each accomplished the move differently, there was a kind of discordant harmony to the routine, a kind of symmetry that linked them all together.
Another training day at the Jade palace, and to the warriors that lived there, the wonder of the place still failed to rub off.
Each warrior moved their left arm up, (except Viper, she used her tail) and swung it back down, using the momentum to spin their entire bodies around.
A straight punch forward, a few steps back, kick up, head down, and a sudden flurry of motion brought each of the routines to an end.
"Well done, students!" Master Shifu appraised, as each warrior bowed, "Now, on to training."
Not all training at the Jade palace involved exiting moves and doing death-defying stunts, a good deal of it was just to take a pose, the harder the better, and stay in it for long periods of time.
Tigress, Mantis, Crane, and Viper were the best at this, as each of them naturally relied on waiting for long periods of time to catch their food.
Each warrior took their pose, and the whole palace was absolutely quiet. You could have heard a pin drop...
THUMP!
The silence was ruined, as Po tripped from his pose, and collapsed on the floor. The other warriors pretended not to notice...
Except for Master Monkey, who found giggles irrepressibly coming to his mouth. He clapped his hand over his mouth in an effort to stop them, but it was no use.
Tigress groaned, as Monkey collapsed next to Po, convulsed with laughter. But she didn't say anything, that was not her place.
Her eyes spoke volumes, however, and Monkey's laughter dried up instantly. He stood up, and took his pose again. Po did the same...
THUMP!
Almost immediately, he fell back down.
Tigress sighed. He had only been here for just under two years, and was still learning the flexibility and stability that the others had already mastered. He had some slack cut for him...
THUMP!
...but this was too much!
Po stood back up, already wobbling. He leaned to one side. He flailed frantically, trying to catch himself, and grabbed onto Crane's beak.
"Hey! HEY!" Crane exclaimed, tilting backwards like a falling pillar, as Po tried to regain his balance. Crane shot his wing out, knocking Monkey off his tail into Tigress.
Tigress was balancing on her pinky, and could not keep herself up. She fell left, on top of Mantis. Mantis screeched, and held her upwards, so she was practically two inches from the floor, appearing to float.
"Hey! Tigress!" Mantis exclaimed, "Get up!"
"I can't!" she replied, "Monkey is on my feet!"
"It's not my fault!" Monkey called frantically, "Viper is over my face, and Crane's holding me down!"
"Po is on my face! I can't move!" Crane explained.
"SOMEONE HELP US!" they all called simultaneously.
But no one came, and the Furious Five and Po were cramped into that horribly uncomfortable position for several hours.
What seemed like a looong time later, Master Shifu came in to announce the end of the flexibility, endurance and patience training. His eyes widened when he saw their position.
"What happened here?" he asked.
"It's Po-" Monkey tried to explain, but was interrupted by Shifu.
"That is the most spectacular example of teamwork in stances I have ever seen! Each Master resting on the other, that is incredible work. Well done!" he helped Po up, allowing the other Masters to return to their feet.
"Take a break, then we can get back to sparring," he turned, and walked away.
"Whoa, did he just say we did something RIGHT?" Mantis questioned. Even Tigress looked happy, (That is, she wasn't frowning) and everyone was in a good mood.
Po went to go get a snack.
He made his way to the kitchen, and opened the food closet. He dodged the shuriken that flew past his face, jumped over the stream of fire, and pulled open a secret hatch in the back of the cupboard, searching for the holy grail of Jade palace cuisine; Monkey's legendary almond cookies.
Baked to delicious perfection, radiating an aura of pure cookie-smelling goodness, Monkey's cookies were to die for. Monkey protected them heavily, hence all the booby-traps.
Po's eyes frantically searched the cupboard, until...he saw it! Sitting in a beam of light, there was that jar of baked perfection!
Pulling out the jar, and unscrewing the lid, Po was just about to take a bite of temping cookie, when he heard footsteps coming towards him. He hid the jar behind his back.
Tigress walked into the room, and when she saw Po, she walked up to him.
"Hey, Tigress!" Po hailed nervously, "Whatcha doing here?"
"I was searching for you, Dragon Warrior," came the reply.
"I was afraid of that..." Po mumbled to himself. Then he spoke again, out loud this time. "What were you doing searching for me for? I mean, c'mon, you don't look for me that often..."
Tigress sat down on a stool, and looked up at Po.
"Po, I want to know. Are you hiding something, from the rest of us?"
Po gulped, feeling the cookie jar behind his back. "N-no..."
Tigress, without warning, suddenly leaped forward, and pulled Po around. She saw the cookie jar, and looked odd, sort of half relieved, half dissapointed.
"Ok, you got me!" Po sighed, setting the cookie jar down.
"I was taking Monkey's cookies..." he looked up at Tigress, "I'll give you one if you don't tell Monkey..."
Tigress half smiled, then sat down again. She shook her head. "Po, I have a confession to make."
Po's eyes widened. "You...you did something wrong? B-but your perfect!"
"No..." Tigress shook her head again, "No one's perfect. I nearly broke our group's bond of mutual trust to each other." hhe looked into Po's eyes, and continued. "Before, during self-improvement, you would try out new moves, or try to eat as many dumplings as you could in one mouthful...but now, you just disappear..."
Po felt beads of sweat coming to his brow. She was close...
"I got the feeling that you were hiding something from us...and I...and I was going to spy on you, to find out what it was..." she looked up at Po,
an unreadable expression on her face, a mix of guilt, fear, (fear? Tigress?) curiosity, and distrust battling trust.
"I was going to spy on you... But I decided not to. I decided that if you were hiding something...dishonorable, from us, that you would have the character to tell me what it was, if I came and asked you."
If Po was sweating before, he was a river now.
Tigress continued, her eyes still on Po's face, not noticing the puddles of sweat that pooled around his feet. "Now I have made my confession, it's time for you to make yours. Po, where do you go during self-improvement? What are you doing?"
Po abruptly decided to sit down. "I-I...well, I, um... I teach..." he sighed, "Your right Tigress, I can't tell lies, at least not to you."
He frowned, and looked up.
"I'm going to tell you, but don't judge me until I've finished, ok?"
Tigress nodded.
"Well, when we went to Gongmen-..."
"Bandits are attacking the village!" Mantis exclaimed, bursting in.
"Let's go," Tigress said immediately. Her eyes, however clearly said that this conversation was not over.
Po, Tigress, and Mantis ran down the hallways of the palace, heading towards the door.
"Were you eating Monkey's cookies?" Mantis asked.
"Well-"
"Give me some when we get back."
"Will do!"
They reached the stairs, and Po leaped off them, into the waiting talons of Crane, who acted like a mix of glider and parachute for the giant panda. Tigress simply leaped downwards, reaching the bottom in three bounds.
She landed at the bottom, Crane dropping Po behind her, who landed on his feet perfectly, Mantis on his shoulder. Monkey and Viper dropped on either side just a second later.
They headed towards the outskirts of town, where the bandit attack was taking place. Crane, from his high vantage point, could already see the attackers, and called them out.
"It's Fung, and...fifteen croc bandits!"
"Fung? We were called all this way for that loser?" Mantis questioned.
"Never underestimate your enemy, Mantis!" Viper called, slithering alongside, "It gets you caught in traps!"
Tigress, Crane and Monkey went over a house in the way, while Po, Viper, and Mantis quickly hurried around it.
Fung was having the time of his life; with such good protection, the citizens of the Valley were almost defenseless by themselves. His croc bandits could practically take whatever they wanted.
"No more we wait in the shadows, waiting for stuff to come to us!" he called, puffing out his chest, "Now we come to IT!"
He watched his bandits burst through doors, carrying off bags of plunder, while the citizens scrambled away screaming. It was so different than the bumbling operations that they usually carried out. It made Fung feel like a great general, commanding his troops...
Suddenly, three bandits fell over, unconscious.
"Hiyah!" Tigress snarled, on top of a downed crocodile.
"Stop right there, Fung!" Po exclaimed, coming around from behind a building.
"Why do you guys always have to ruin my party?" Fung demanded angrily. "Croc bandits, ATTA-..."
"It's all five of the Furious Five!" a croc bandit pointed out.
"And the Dragon Warrior!" another one added.
"AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHhhhhh!" all of them exclaimed together.
Fung clapped his hand to his face. "You guys! Seriously?"
No one paid any attention to him, however. He threw his helmet on the ground. "ENOUGH!"
All the croc bandits stopped screaming.
"Croc bandits, ATTACK!" Fung yelled.
"There's two for each of us," Tigress stated, as the remaining crocodiles closed in on them...
An axe swiped towards Tigress's neck, and she swung backward to avoid it, flinging her leg out at the same time. The crocodile collapsed, and Tigress leaped off it's back, striking another bandit in the stomach, felling him instantly.
Beside her, bandit charged at Monkey, but tripped over Viper, and collapsed in front of the primate, who knocked the croc with his staff. Viper leaped up, wrapping herself around another reptile, keeping him still, as Monkey brought him down.
Fung's victorious army was beginning to be routed. "Come on, guys!" he urged.
Mantis shot upward with astonishing speed, landing on a crocodile's nose, and flung him into another croc. Two more down.
Next to him, Po caught two axes, one in each hand, and twisted them downward, until their owners were practically stooping. They struggled to raise their weapons, but Po used his massive weight to keep them down easily, before suddenly releasing them. The two reptiles suddenly were jerked upwards by the lack of pressure, knocking each other unconscious. Po sat on them, just to make sure.
The last four bandits, (excluding Fung) charged at Monkey and Viper in unision.
Crane dropped between two of them, felling one with a kick and the other with a strike of his wing. The other two turned on him, but were stopped, one by Viper wrapping around his legs, and the other by a roundhouse kick from Tigress.
All six Masters turned their eyes to Fung, standing alone.
Fung's victorious thoughts had turned sour remarkably fast.
"S-stay back!" he called back, brandishing his axe, "I-I can take you all on!"
"Yeah right!" Monkey grinned.
"What if we gave you...a coconut?!" Po shouted, pulling out a coconut.
"Hey!" Fung quavered, his knees starting to knock, "I'm allergic to coconuts!"
"I know," Po answered back. He flung the coconut with bullseye accuracy, using the throwing technique Shen had taught him. The coconut flew squarely down Fung's throat.
Fung gagged, as spots started to appear all over his scaly skin.
"Now look what you've done!" he choked. His skin started turning purple.
The six warriors were about to lunge, when they noticed something strange.
Fung seemed to be growing taller...and taller. Soon, he towered above them...and his muscles seemed to be growing larger too.
"Awww, come on!" Po exclaimed, "How was I supposed to know that would be his allergic reaction?"
Fung roared, a heart-stopping, terrifying roar. He threw a punch at Tigress.
Tigress ducked the massive fist, but was unprepared for the tail-swipe follow up. The tail struck her square in the middle, and she was sent soaring backwards, impacting a wall with terrible force.
She dropped to her knees, clutching her chest. She hadn't been hit that hard since Tai Lung!
The other Masters gaped in astonishment... then went scrambling for cover, as Fung rained down more tremendous blows on them.
The massive crocodilian scooped up piles of loot in its enormous hands, and shuffled off.
Po and the other Masters resumed their gaping...then their eyes slowly turned to Po.
"What?" Po asked nervously.
"You threw the coconut, Po," Monkey pointed out.
"Coconut? What-I-I don't know what your talking about..." Po grinned, pursing his lips.
A groan from a croc bandit interrupted them, as he unconsciously started to move.
"Crane!" Tigress called, getting to her feet, "You and the others stay here, and deal with the bandits. Me and Po are going after Fung." she had a dangerous glint in her eyes; Po wouldn't want to be in Fung's shoes right now.
"Are you sure?" Crane asked, not worried about his leader's decision, but her safety, "That guy looks like he could be dangerous..."
"I'm sure," Tigress answered confidently.
"Alright," Crane nodded, then turned to the still-unconscious bandits, muttering to himself. "Guess I hit you a little hard..."
Tigress turned to Po. "Let's go."
They raced off, following the clear trail that Fung had left. Po expected her to ask about Gongmen, but she did not. The impact seemed to have wiped it from her mind...
Po wasn't sure that was such a good thing.
They stopped momentarily, as the outskirts of the village ended, and the bamboo forest began.
It was clear where Fung had gone: The bamboo was pushed aside, creating a trail of destruction.
"Are you ready?" Tigress asked.
Po took a determined grin. "I was born ready!"
"Let's go then!" Tigress exclaimed, as she and Po leaped into the forest.
It was an eerie coincidence that the forest was full of mist today, impeding vision. Already, the two warriors could hear the thundering footsteps of the monster they were trailing...
Despite himself, Po felt a trickle of dread creep into his heart...
The two warriors turned a corner, then stopped cold!
Towering above them, the terrifying outline of Fung loomed, a cold shadow in the mists.
Fung leaned against a pillar of stone, breathing heavily. He leaned down, and licked his treasure. It was his, all his...
His allergic reaction was severe, destroying his mind. He was now a carnal beast, driven by impulses and instinct.
He crouched, covering his spoils with his massive purple body.
Suddenly, his head jerked upwards, nostrils flaring. He smelled rivals...some instinct in his brain, a spark of what used to be Fung, told him that these smells should be annihilated.
He reared up, and roared, his sound rolling around the Valley.
Tigress winced.
Away, Crane heard the roar, and uttered a silent prayer for the two Masters, who were not just fellow fighters, but friends, even family.
Said two Masters leaped forwards, as Fung crouched and snarled. Po leaped at his stomach, while Tigress simultaneously attacked his back. Fung reared, trying to shake the feline, who was hanging on for dear life. Po struck the stomach, and was thrown off. It was like hitting a wall.
Fung slammed his back against the stone; Tigress was barely able to scramble out of the way in time. She dropped to the ground, and rolled sideways, avoiding the massive fist that slammed into the grass next to her.
Her eyes darted to the massive pillar of stone, standing like a sentinel over them all. Was it just her, or did it just shake?
A tail swept towards her neck like a polearm, and she backflipped backwards to avoid it, landing on all fours, before darting between Fung's legs. She was now between Fung and the pillar.
Fung roared, ramming his head towards her. She had to time this just right...
At the very last possible second, she leaped upwards, running along Fung's back. Fung's head slammed into the pillar, causing it to definitely shake.
Tigress landed next to Po.
"Get him to hit the pillar! If it falls on him, we have won."
Po grinned. "Get ready to feel tha thundah!" he leaped forwards, rolling under Fung's tail. The massive crocodilian swiped his palm at Po, but Po simply ducked.
Fung's hand impacted the pillar, and the pillar shook another inch.
"Impressive, Dragon warrior!" Tigress called, as she leaped off a stalk of bamboo, striking Fung's back. The crocodile didn't even seem to have felt it.
Tigress and Po attacked in sync, one on each side.
Fung flew punches wildly, striking the pillar several times.
Po jumped over the crocodiles head, landing at the base of the pillar. Fung reacted fast, slamming his tail into the ground. Po slid sideways, then gaped.
The pillar still stood, but how was a mystery. It was barely balanced...
Po waltzed up to it, and held his finger an inch away from the pillar.
Fung somehow realized what Po was doing, and his eyes widened.
Po smiled.
"skadoosh!" he pushed his pinky against the pillar...
The pillar fell, landing squarely against the reptile. He was pinned securely.
"Good job, Po," Tigress smiled.
"Yeah, well, you did most of the work..." Po said. He was proud of himself as well, though. "What do we do now?"
Tigress frowned. "I guess we wait here, until Fung returns to normal."
Several hours later, Tigress and Po watched the amusing sight of Fung, trapped under a REALLY heavy pillar.
"Hey guys!?" he drawled, "Where are you? Guys? GET ME OUT OF HERE!"
The two warriors complied, although Fung didn't seem to appreciate it.
They brought him back, and he was locked away...for now.
Po sat in bed that night, mixed emotions running through his body.
Releif, guilt, and anxiety.
Releif, that the day of discovery was projected into the future.
Guilt, that he was hiding things from the other warriors.
Anxiety, that the day of discovery was still to come, and it would get worse by the day...
Po rolled over in bed, lost in his own thoughts.
Author's note: This chapter may have seemed a little random, but I wanted to take a break from the drama/angst, and add some humor in there. It was inspired from the LoA episode 'Good croc bad croc' where Fung remarks that he is allergic to coconuts.
Also, Tigress forgot about the conversation she had with Po, because the Über-Fung's tail caused a short-memory lapse.
Although you might think that this chapter is short, keep in mind that it's still 1,000 words longer than my story 'The Stork'.
Credit goes to International Wonderland for the 'Releif, guilt, and anxiety' thing. I wasn't sure whether I would have to ask permission for that, but I will give her credit anyway.
Don't worry, we'll go back to the main story in the next chapter, which I will upload on Wednesday night.
Thanks for reading, reviews are appreciated!