Disclaimer: Inception does not belong to me.

"I..." Andy's jaw sagged. "You are?"

"Eames. Call me Eames. Ariadne in?"

Andy blinked, staring at him. Taller than Eames by a couple of inches, he took a step back involuntarily at the sight of the other man's broad shoulders and muscled torso, noticeable even under the garish shirt. Eames smiled pleasantly and took a step forward.

Andy found his voice. "I...uh, yes," he said, his voice coming out as a squeak. "She's through here. Ariadne!"

Ariadne hurried out into the hall. "Eames!"

"I know its late, but I thought I'd just drop by and say hello," the older man said, casually. "Its ok, isn't it?"

"Oh, yes, absolutely," she said, a flush of relief passing over her face. Eames smiled and continued to walk inside. Andy, his face almost crimson, had to stand aside and watch. He couldn't take Eames - who in turning to look at the lanky man, winked at him.

"Eames, would you like some coffee?"

"Please, that would be lovely."

Scowling, Andy followed them back into the main rooms of the apartment. Ariadne was in the kitchen, finishing making the coffee.

"...so I was just out this evening, and I thought, ooh, Ariadne lives round here, might as well drop in and say hello..."

"...well its always nice to see you, you know that."

Andy, furious, slumped into an armchair, letting his legs splay out. "Andy?!"

He sat up. "Yes?"

"Do you want to finish your cheesecake?"

He got up, and walked back into the kitchen. "Well, yes. Please." As he walked in, Eames handed him the plate. "Do finish it."

"Thank you."

"OK, coffee's ready." Ariadne picked up the cafetiere, and Eames grabbed the cups. As they walked into the lounge, Ariadne seating herself on the couch, Eames sat down next to her - relegating Andy to the armchair. He settled down in it, still holding the plate.

"So, have you been out somewhere already?" Ariadne asked, as she poured the black brew into the light green cups.

"I have," Eames said, smiling mysteriously. "I was out...with an attractive young woman, as it happens."

"Really?" Ariadne said, handing Andy a cup, who took it, silently.

"Yes. Lovely girl. Blonde." Eames sighed and leaned back. "Normally I don't go for blondes - brunettes are better - but this girl, ooh, she does things to me!"

"Eames!" Ariadne exclaimed. He was closing his eyes, a blissful smile on his face. Andy dug his fork into his cheesecake.

"Well, she has had a bad time." Eames took a sip of coffee. "Her ex sounds like a right twat. You're a Brit, Andy, you know what I mean, right mate?"

Andy blinked and looked at him. "I know what that word means, yes, thank you." He shoved a forkful of cheesecake into his mouth, and chewed.

"I mean, he's the kind of man who sits in restaurants and comments on women's bodies!" Eames shook his head. "He'll comment on whether someone is too fat, too thin- its disgusting. As far as I'm concerned, women should look like women. Yes, Andy?"

Andy looked at Eames, a slightly suspicious look flickering across his bland features. "Well-"

"You know. Not like skinny little boys."

"Oh, no, no ,no, no," Andy said, shaking his head. "There is no bigger turn off than a woman who looks like a corpse."

"Oh, absolutely. But I think this guy did want her to end up a corpse." He took another swallow of coffee, then turned to look at Andy. "Finish the cheesecake, you look like you need it."

Andy nearly choked. "What?"

"So," Eames continued, ignoring the other man's obvious discomfort, "I asked her what he'd done, and she told me he'd given her diet pills."

Andy sat bolt upright. "He didn't!" he snapped out, in a fury.

"No, he did," Eames continued, now locking eyes with the other man, his pale greys boring into Andy's light blues. "Apparently, she's a model, and he decided she was too fat. Although I get the impression any woman bigger than a size zero is too fat...is that your view, Andy?"

"No..." Andy said, his voice calm. "I've said to my mates before - a size 8 or 10 is my bottom line. Even a size 8's pushing it."

"You mean a British 8 0r 10?"

"Yeah. That's what, a 6 or 4 here?"

"I think so."

"Why did he give her pills?" Ariadne uttered, shocked.

"Because this egotistical waste of space thinks he's her manager. Well, he's a crap photographer, but he has pretensions."

"He sounds...awful!" Ariadne bit her lip.

"Oh, he is." Eames shook his head. "And you know what's really appalling? He's always slagging off her ex. Her ex, that walked in on him and her in his bed - now, I've forgiven her for that, as she does seem very sweet, and its not her fault that this guy is a manipulative, evil user who thinks all women should be skeletons, and who uses his little boy lost charm, although to be honest he probably would look more like a labrador puppy-"

Suddenly, there was a clatter of china as the cheesecake plate tumbled to the floor. Andy stood up, his face white with rage. "Excuse me," he said, swallowing. "I seem to have a migraine. Ariadne, I'll call you."

"Oh, if you-"

Before she could utter another word, he'd turned and practically ran down the hallway, slamming the door behind him.

Eames leaned back, and took a sip of coffee. "Well," he said, smiling. "I think that's what you call a result."

All reviews appreciated, thank you! I like to know who is following this!