Haven – Dust to Dust

Deidre POV

"So, Varric, scale of one to ten, how bad is this?" he asked, mostly to make conversation. Everything was so quiet. "I'm putting it at a nine personally."

"Seven." He gave Varric an incredulous look. "It's up there, but I've been trapped in the Deep Roads, lived through a Qunari invasion, and was there when the Mage-Templar war started. Among other things that are not mentioned in the books for being less than believable."

"Ah." Well, so much for that line of conversation. "I'm worried we're going to run into an animal that took refuge in the path, personally."

"We'll let Snapdragon take care of it. The girl is a skilled huntress. I saw her take down bears easily." Varric, however, grew sad. "Might be good. I can tell this is hitting her hard."

"Isn't it hitting everyone hard?"

"Good point. But Snapdragon was good friends with Light, and I can tell it goes against all her instincts to leave anyone behind, much less a friend."

"…This whole situation is just messed up."

"Yep."

"Careful, there," I murmured, helping up a Chantry sister who had slipped on the ice. The whole place was frozen over, covered in plants. But no one complained. No one talked, really. The only sound was the wind, and the quiet sobs. Oh, and the dripping blood, because we had a lot of injured here, and not a lot of people with the ability to heal. We ran out of bandages ages ago. We were going to be losing people. We'd probably have to leave them behind, for the corpses to freeze in the cold.

I didn't like that thought. That's why I devoted myself to helping out anyone that fell. No one left behind. … no more people being left behind.

I hopped onto a rock, mostly to try and catch sight of someone falling. Instead, though, I found myself seeking out Sam. She was at the front, with Roderick. Actually, she was helping Roderick walk, leading the way. I figured she took up the duty so that she had something to focus on besides the fact that she lost two younger siblings in a handful of days. From here, I could see Roderick's blood seeping into her armor, and her wince with every step. Damn it all…

"Da'len, you should not stop." I was more than tempted just to snap at Solas, but I couldn't think of a reply. "What makes you pause?" he asked gently. "The… ambush?"

"This whole living nightmare," I deadpanned. That's what it was. This should have been a celebration. We should have been laughing and dancing and… and stuff. But here we were, in an overgrown, frozen path, running away from our 'home'. "I wonder in this is how the ancient elves felt when Arlathan and the Dales fell." Trying desperately to escape a burning city, silently screaming over those left behind…

"…Perhaps." He looked contemplative. "You are most concerned for Lucina."

"I'm most concerned with the people still alive."

"It is possible Lucina could survive." I gave him my best skeptical look in reply. "Lucina has healing magic, and her Bounded Fields."

"And those two things are going to save her from an army, a city on fire, a dragon, a… whatever the fuck an 'Elder One' is, and an avalanche?" I shook my head. "No, it's ridiculous. Mages might be powerful, but they are not all-powerful. If it was just one, then maybe I could hope, but I know better. I'm not going to hope when I know the answer is just going to be a whole lot of nothing."

"This is where most would pray."

"Oh, sure, I'll pray. I'll pray for Fen'haral to get his limbs ripped apart for this trick." He stiffened a little at that. "I don't believe in them, and even if they did exist, I highly doubt they'll help a shemlen. I highly doubt they'd help elves as we are because we actually made something of ourselves."

"…You should not be so cynical." He shook his head. "Watch your step, da'len. The path is rougher up ahead."

"…Ma serannas."

Outside was freezing. Freezing and biting, and I just knew we were going to lose people to the cold before we got a place to take shelter. But, well, the path worked. We were outside. Way outside. And it was not long until we were above the tree-line, safely away from Haven.

What remained of the Inquisition moved forward, a long procession of broken, battered people. I was reminded of the story of the Long Walk, the trek the elves took from Tevinter and the Dales, after being freed from slavery at last. But there was no goal in sight. We were just… just escaping.

I paused and looked back, just… just wanting to see what we were escaping from again. And the sight made me freeze.

"Elgar'nan…" I breathed, unable to think of anything else to say. From here… from here, Haven looked like… like… like something I didn't even have a word for. From here, you could see it burning and dying, turning to ash and dust. I thought of the story of Andraste, of how she burned and burned, and was put to mercy with a sword. And we were going to do the same to Haven. With an avalanche. And kill anyone and everyone that remained behind to buy us the time to escape. Lucy…

"Deidre." Oh, there was Kost. "How are you…?" he began. I gave him a look, and he shook his head. "Never mind." He came to stand beside me. "I don't… see the dragon." Neither did I. "Maybe Lucina… no, it's more likely it just landed." Yeah… "Can I ask a favor?"

"Yes, of course," I answered without hesitation. I shifted awkwardly in the snow, though. "What is it?"

"…The signal for Lucina is a single fire arrow." Oh… "Will you…?"

"…Yeah." I tugged out my bow, and drew an arrow, aiming right for the moon. "Three… two… one…"

I loosed the arrow, and Kost ignited the arrow. We watched it arc, the fire flicking and wavering in the wind. We watched and watched, and then… then we watched the trebuchet launch. We watched the stone arc gracefully, and crash into the side of the mountain. And we watched the snow come tumbling down, swallowing Haven up. Within seconds, Haven was gone and, with it, those who had remained behind. If the fire and soldiers hadn't killed them, the snow sure did.

…Goodbye, Lucy… I wish… I wish I could have spent more time with you.

My breath caught, and I struggled not to cry. But I lost that fight, the tears streaming down. This was like when my mother died. Mother died saving me, and Lucy… Lucy just died saving everyone…

Kost wrapped an arm around my shoulders, letting me sob into his shoulder as he led me away from the graveyard. This wasn't fair! This wasn't fair at all! Damn you, Creators! Damn you all!

Next Chapter - Kost