Chapter 33 ~ Heart Over Mind
~Jasper POV~
3rd May, 11.30PM
I froze.
No. No!
"Do it!" Maria hissed in my ear.
Involuntarily, my body turned towards Alice. I tried to scream at her to run. I tried to warn her; to warn the Cullen's that they needed to protect Alice. But I couldn't. I couldn't speak. I willed my feet to stay firmly planted to the ground - or better yet to run in the opposite direction - but they began moving towards Alice.
STOP! I screamed inside my head, but my legs weren't listening. They kept moving me forward, further and further towards Alice. I looked at Alice, willing her to understand the danger she was in. She needed to get away from here. If she saw me walking towards her, she wouldn't see it as a threat. Her vampire fight-or-flight instincts never seemed to work when it came to me. She'd never been afraid of me like she should have been; not when she saw my red eyes, not when she found out everything about Maria...she hadn't even realised I was a vampire for almost a month after meeting me. She was entirely too trusting in me and she really shouldn't be. I was a danger to her and she didn't even know it.
A shot of fear went through Alice and her eyes widened. It didn't take me long to realise that she'd had a vision of what was about to happen. Mixed in with her fear was confusion, sadness, and betrayal. I tried to tell her I was sorry; so so sorry. Her family would never forgive me; her brothers would try to kill me. They wouldn't need to. If I killed Alice now, I would carry through with my earlier promise and kill myself. I wouldn't be able to go on without Alice; I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I'd been the one to end her life.
Edward had obviously read Alice's mind and seen the vision because he was growling at me, ready to step in and protect his sister if the vision came true. Alice was staring at me, her emotions clear in her eyes. But she wasn't running. Why wasn't she running? Why wasn't she getting herself to safety? Why wasn't her family restraining me and making me stop?
That's when I realised I'd been too distracted to hear what Maria was saying. She'd been using that same voice to tell all of Alice's family to stay still. She told them not to move or it would make me kill Alice instantly - she was telling them to believe her; I was dangerous, and she was the good guy. And of course they did believe her. Who wouldn't obey that voice?
But she wasn't using it on Alice. Alice was rooted to the spot by fear, not by Maria's control. And something else, I realised. She didn't quite believe it was true; she didn't want to believe it was true. I didn't want to believe it either, but it was happening. I screamed in my head because Maria wouldn't let me scream out loud. Edward's eyes snapped towards me and I realised that he would be my saviour. Maria wouldn't let me warn them out loud, but she didn't know that Edward could hear my thoughts.
Edward. I said in my mind, aiming my thoughts right at him. He glared at me, but I knew he'd heard me. Edward listen to me; Maria's gift is to control people. She's making me do this! I can't stop it! Please do something Edward; I can't hurt her!
Edward's eyes softened slightly and I knew he believed me. I also knew that there was nothing he could do to protect Alice. Maria still had him frozen in place. And she still had me getting closer and closer to Alice. I was fighting every step, but I knew it was no use. I'd never been able to resist Maria's controlling power.
"Hurry up Jasper." Maria cooed. My speed increased, but it was still slow. The fighting was giving me more time, but it wasn't making me stop.
Edward spoke softly to Alice, "It's not him Alice. It's her - she's controlling him. He can't stop. Alice you have to make him snap out of it."
"Shut up." Maria spat at Edward and he fell silent, but the damage had already been done. I could feel realisation from Alice; understanding. And yet, she didn't turn and run. She started walking towards me. I wanted to scream at her. What was she doing?
"Jazz?" Alice said softly. She was closing the gap between us, making the time shorter before I would reach her and kill her. "Jasper look at me." I met her gaze; such beautiful eyes that seemed to look straight into my soul. It almost made me stop in my tracks. Of course it didn't though; Maria's powers were too strong. "You don't have to do this. You don't have to listen to her."
Alice's voice was calm, sugar sweet and beautiful. And almost as controlling as Maria's. It wasn't the same; I didn't have to obey every command that left her lips. But I wanted to; I wanted to do as she asked, to make her happy and not disappoint her. I wanted to cater to her every wish and need not because she had a controlling gift, but because I loved her and wanted more than anything for her to have everything she desired in the world.
"Jasper, stop listening to Maria." Alice said, "Listen to me; You don't have to do this. Just stop. It will be okay, I promise."
To my complete surprise, I stopped. I stared at Alice, who had broken Maria's control over me using just words. It was the first time I'd ever disobeyed Maria. Rage bubbled up from behind me and I knew Maria didn't like the fact that she'd lost control.
"Jasper, what are you doing?" She hissed, "Kill her!"
"Jazz, keep looking at me. You can do this." Alice told me, and I did as she told me. I stood frozen still, watching her eyes. How long could we keep this up?
"Alice stop talking to him!" Maria said, but Alice didn't seem affected at all. I didn't feel any obedient emotions coming from Alice, only defiance. It was like she was immune to Maria's gift. Maybe that was how she'd broken the control over me. "Jasper! Kill Alice!"
My body ached to move forward, to obey Maria, but at the same time it willed me to stay where I was. It was heart over mind, and right now heart was winning. I just hoped it would stay that way.
"It's okay Jazz, you won't hurt me." Alice said, as if reading my mind.
"Stop talking!" Maria shrieked.
"It's okay Jasper." Alice kept reassuring me, ignoring Maria's command.
"Stop it!" Maria yelled, but Alice didn't. She was walking towards me again now. She took my hand and warmth shot around my body at the contact. Maria was shrieking my name but I could hardly hear her. Alice reached up on tip toes and kissed my cheek lightly. That was enough to break what remained of Maria's control over me.
I turned towards Maria, my eyes black and my anger at top levels. No; anger didn't even begin to cover what I felt. Maria saw the change in my eyes and fled. I began to run after her, but Alice held me back. "Let her go Jasper."
"What?" I turned towards her, incredulous.
"If you go after her she'll just start controlling you again." Alice told me, "Stay here. You're safe here."
I looked down at Alice and at the innocence in her eyes. She'd almost died because of Maria, but she wasn't angry or seeking revenge. She was just happy that Maria was gone and that we were all safe. I wanted to go after Maria and rip her to pieces, but Alice had a point; I'd only been able to disobey Maria because Alice was there and I sure as hell wasn't taking Alice to face Maria.
"I'm so sorry." I whispered, "I should go."
"Don't you dare." Alice said fiercely, her grip on my hand tightening. "You're not blaming yourself for this Jasper."
Now that Maria was gone her control over the Cullens had also vanished. Emmett and Edward were stood in front of me, growling protectively. Esme and Carlisle weren't far behind them.
"Leave him alone!" Alice cried, growling just as protectively at her brothers. "It wasn't his fault!"
"He almost killed you!" Emmett yelled.
"She was controlling him!" Alice argued, "He couldn't help it!"
"Alice," Esme said softly, "Why don't we all go inside and talk about this?" She shot a look at me. "I think Jasper has some explaining to do."
Heyy,
What did you think? I know it was short and I'm sorry :/ Next chapter...Jasper explains all.
Thanks for everyone who reviewed the last chapter!
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