Letters to Father
Shared Existence

The puzzle pieces of life
Put them together
To find out the truth
Sometimes they don't fit
Ones left with a bigger puzzle

"Something's up with Toshiro." Ichigo watched the young preteen carefully over the last few days, and he couldn't shake the idea that something was off. The orange haired teen kept pushing the thought to the back of his mind by thinking, "I don't know him well enough." Another thought pierced his mind. "He'd tell me if something was bothering him, wouldn't he?" The young man fought back the urge to sigh every time he thought this. "No, he doesn't trust me enough. Not yet anyways."

Leaving school Wednesday to meet up with Miyako-dono left an empty feeling in Ichigo's stomach as he looked back at Toshiro. "He's honestly looking forward to the next time we hang out, and I'm not telling him who I have a meeting with either." A quick glance at Rukia made him flinch. "She's also likely going to follow me where ever I go, and she may take this meeting the wrong way. I'd explain to her, but I also get the feeling she won't even ask me. Add that to the check list of things people at my new school think of me."

A gusty wind blew past Ichigo as he left the school, and he found his lips pulling together as he shoved his hands into his pockets. "It's late spring, early summer. Why is the weather like this?" The teen shook his head, and instead headed to the small cafe Miyako asked him to meet her at. He slipped in, and almost balked at the looks people gave him. "They think I'm some punk come to beat up this shop's customers. Great... I can never make a good impression."

"Ichigo! Over here!"

Two brown eyes blinked at the sound of Miyako's voice. The Shiba female remained quite relaxed about the whole situation, and was even dressed in a rather nice manner compared to the way he dressed. "The only saving grace is I'm wearing my school uniform. It's rather understandable why I didn't exactly dress up for this place."

The orange haired teen stepped over to the small table, and slipped in. The woman remained cheerful. "I'm really glad you took me up on my offer to meet."

"To be honest I'm not really comfortable with this situation. People may get the wrong idea." Ichigo felt his throat tighten as he swallowed. "I had to know. There are things I need to know."

Miyako's mouth twisted slightly into a frown. "You don't like this place?"

"No, it's not that I don't like this place." The teen removed his school bag from his shoulder. "I am rather serious about people getting the wrong idea."

The woman remained silent as she looked right at him, and then a soft laugh left her lips. "So you really are more like Kaien then Isshin. This is actually a favorite place of ours from our high school days. Kaien and I still frequent the place."

Ichigo felt a heat spread through his cheeks as he stared at the woman. "Then there are people here who know she's married, and not just that. They know who she's married to. Seriously, not cool."

A waitress came over with glasses of water, and a pad to take their orders. The orange haired teen felt his body tense up as the woman stared at him. She then pointed the tip of her pencil at him. "Miyako, is this kiddo your son? He looks a lot like Kaien."

The teen felt his eyes widen, and his mouth open to say something. Nothing came out of his mouth, but the though was certainly there. "I look like Kaien? Isshin's my father though."

Ichigo picked up the glass of water, and took a drink to calm his nerves. Miyako remained completely calm. "Could I get the usual order Kaien and I get?"

The waitress took off without asking more questions, but the orange haired teen couldn't shake what the waitress asked Miyako. The teen finally managed to choke out her words. "Why didn't you say something?"

"If I'd say yes it would have been a I lie. If I said no she would have known you were Isshin's son, and that would have raised questions."

"What kind of questions?"

"That's rather hard to explain."

"What's hard to explain? My dad and sensei were friends when they were younger, and went to school with each other. For some strange reason sensei feels like he owes my dad something despite the fact sensei is the head of a noble family and he's not, and then there is what sensei said about the two of them living each others life."

The soft smile on Miyako's face feel as the waitress quickly brought back their orders. When the woman was gone she began speaking again. "That's rather complicated, but I am going to answer your questions about your connection to the Shiba clan."

Ichigo felt his lips push together. "That's not my only question. I'm a bit curious about Toshiro, and your guys connection with him."

The woman's face brightened up. "Toshiro? Well, that makes things easier I think, at least that part. I take it you've already guessed your father is... was... a part of the Shiba clan. You've likely also guessed the two grew up together as well as went to school with each other. Back then they were also quite inseparable."

"So it's rather weird that they're not getting along with each other?" The orange haired teen took a drink of the coffee, and his eyebrows rose up as the taste of his drink perked his interest.

"Not really. The Shiba clan is known for it's stubborn streak."

"So they've had spats in the past?" Ichigo leaned back allowing the drink to warm his hands. He could still feel a chill from when the wind blew outside.

"No. They're not having a spat. It's more like, well, something else." Miyako asked Ichigo how he liked his coffee and treat, and when he gave an affirmative answer she continued. "Kaien said something about how he and Isshin are living the life the other should have?"

"To be honest he sounded rather bitter about that."

"I wouldn't exactly blame my husband for being bitter considering the fact he was never supposed to be the head of the Shiba clan in the first place." The woman took a drink of her coffee.

"Wait... so the person who was supposed to be head of the Shiba clan was who? My dad?"

"With Isshin's personality I can understand how that would be surprising."

"Yeah, but him shirking his duties and leaving them for someone else isn't." Ichigo watched Miyako's smile leave. "What? Dad's not exactly been reliable, and that's why sensei's upset with him isn't it? Doesn't explain why dad's adamant about me addressing sensei the way he does."

Miyako took a deep breath. "It's not just the headship. When they were growing up there came to be certain things expected of each of them. Everyone knew Isshin would be the future head of the family as he was the eldest son of the family head. When the two entered high school though it became quite apparent that your father wouldn't ever settle down and marry, thus there would never be an heir from your father."

"Dad married though."

"Yes, but that was after..." The woman let out a deep sigh. "There are, were issues with your father marrying your mother. On top of this a good deal of the Shiba clan don't know your father's alive."

Ichigo leaned back as his mouth twisted up into a frown. "Great. Worse yet I'm honestly not surprised my dad pulled a stunt like that. I also really can't blame sensei for being mad at dad either."

"He's not mad at Isshin. Frustrated and upset, but Kaien could never be mad with your father."

"Isn't the Shiba clan better off though with sensei in charge? My dad's far from reliable, and as you said they didn't expect an heir from him in the first place."

"It's true nobody ever expected Isshin to have a kid unless you count a child out of wedlock. They always though expected Kaien and I to produce an heir instead." Miyako looked down at her drink.

The orange haired teen felt his chest thump. The woman's facial features revealed something greatly bothered her, but what she said also didn't make sense. "This doesn't make sense. Wouldn't a noble family not want an heir from a branch family? I mean, I don't really know all of the politics behind these noble families, but an heir is supposed to be the son of the family head."

"Under normal circumstances, yes." Miyako tried smiling. "This isn't the case when the branch family member in question is the identical twin brother of the current head."

Ichigo let his breath whistle through his teeth. "So you mean... wait. My dad and sensei don't look like each other." The teen shook his head. "I get the fact sensei cleaned up a lot for dad, but identical twins?"

"They used to look like each other." A smile finally broke across the woman's face. "Do you know what the first thing Kaien complained about when he got home from your place last week? He went on, and on about your father's unhealthy habit of smoking."

Two brown eyes blinked. "Dad's not smoked in a long time. Well, except for once a year at mom's grave." The teen took a deep breath. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"Kaien's never smoked in his life. Well, he might have tried smoking a few times, but it drove him nuts." The woman laughed as Ichigo's eyes blinked a couple of times. "Smoking ages people."

"Well, I would say there is the fact dad's got a beard, but yeah... I guess that works." Ichigo looked down at his drink. "How can you..." The teen took a deep breath. "How can you be find with all of this? I mean, I get now why sen... your husband's practically flipping out. He's always stuck cleaning up dad's messes. "

Another laugh left Miyako's mouth. "It's true my husband's always straightened out things when your father caused trouble, but that's not why he's upset." The woman leaned back in a rather relaxed manner.

"Then why? Because..." Ichigo took a deep breath. "You guys don't have any kids despite the fact everyone thought you would."

"We've got Toshiro."

"It's not the same."

"My husband grew up as your father's shadow. As such he's fiercely loyal to Isshin. Your father has his reasons for keeping things from you, and as such Kaien is choosing to respect this. I on the other hand know there are things you need to know now rather then holding off, and I don't hold any loyalty to your father like my husband does."

"Why though are they angry at each other?"

"Isshin was mad at my husband the other day because you got dragged into a life Isshin left behind. My husband's upset..." A sigh escaped Miyako's mouth. "My husband's upset because Isshin has a knack for pushing the wrong button. Take for example Isshin insisting you call Kaien sensei instead of uncle. He thinks doing so is more respectful towards Kaien due to the way he walked out on the family, and he also holds the fact Kaien is a teacher in high regard. My husband though sees this as Isshin wanting to distance himself even more."

"They're idiots." Ichigo shook his head. "I'm guessing this is all I'm going to get on the subject matter?"

"Yes. This is what you need to know. Obviously you've figured out Kaien and I can't have children, which makes Isshin insisting you not call my husband uncle even harder." Miyako looked down at her drink. "Isshin though doesn't know we've not had any luck, nor is my husband willing to tell Isshin how he feels. Kaien always places Isshin first. He's just dead loyal like that."

"It's not right."

"No, it isn't." The woman visably worried her lip before taking a deep breath. "I need you to know you're free to come around. Your sisters to actually. It would actually do Kaien some good, and he'll likely blame himself less."

"Blame himself for what?"

"For letting Isshin get into the mess which led him to no longer be a part of the family. For not doing as good of job as he thinks Isshin would have done. For us not having kids of our own. None of that's his fault though."

Ichigo stared at the woman for a bit. "How is it dad's able to have kids and not Uncle Kaien? Aren't they identical twins?"

"I always told Kaien the problem likely lies with me, but he's someone who will blame himself before he blames anybody else. Thus he's going to ignore that fact even if I bring it up."

The orange haired teen swallowed. "Sorry Aunt Miyako. This subject is rather touchy."

"You can make up for it by bringing the twins around some time." The smile came back to the woman's face, but Ichigo wasn't sure she was actually happy.