CHAPTER: 6 (alternate ending) 'PARTS A and B'
"Through Thick and Thin"
WARNINGS: Language, Drug use
This story is A.U.
Disclaimer: This is a work of my own and not related to ATWT or anything to do with CBS's sponsors.
(A special "Thank You" To Marie for her fabulous ideas. Thanks hon'.)
Luke makes himself at home in Toke and Mick's apartment. He sits on the couch sipping his coffee while trying to ignore the noises of them making love. Sounds of moaning wafted into the room from down the hall.
Luke pulls his notebook out of his bag and begins to read what he has on Toke so far.
Luke begins thinking, 'Toke's life is pretty normal compared to mine. How am I going to make this sound interesting? Damn I have to find something out about this guy. I wonder where he's traveled?'
Luke hears more grunting and Mick calling out "Oh Luucaasss!"
Luke snickered and wondered if Toke called her Michelle when he screams.
"Oh fuck. That's it, ride me Bitch!"
'Guess not!' Luke chuckled. He began to read again. 'So all I know about him is that he grew up in a really nice home. His parents are really well off. He's smart. He wrestled in high school. He's likes to downhill ski. He's a vegetarian , doesn't drink and smokes pot. He likes trying new recipes and he wants to be a newscaster or anything to do with television. That's it? I thought I had more! Shit!'"
CHAPTER 6:
Mick opened the bedroom door and walked into the kitchen wearing a short silk robe. Her face was actually very pretty without the colorful make up she usually had on.
"What brings you over so early Blaze baby?" she asked.
Luke bit his lip. His heart rate soared as he thought about waking up this morning without Noah next to him. "I had a fight with Noel. I thought I could talk to Toke for a bit and umm.. mellow out?"
Mick nodded and started cracking eggs in a bowl. She looked up and asked him, "You hungry?"
Luke nodded and said, "Yeah. Want some help with that?"
"Nah. I heard you and Toke couldn't even make a decent pizza.. ended up burning it. If you came to 'mellow out' go ahead and help yourself. Open the drawer in the coffee table. There should be a lighter in there too."
Toke came out of the bathroom after taking a shower. He was toweling off his hair and all he had on were black boxers.
Luke stared in shock at him. He didn't look like the same person. His face was the same, but he looked younger without the makeup on. His hair was dyed black, but it wasn't styled and the rest of him was just... him. No necklace, earrings, black menacing clothes...
"Fuck Blaze, quit staring at me, it's freaking me out!" Toke threw the wet towel across the back of a chair.
Luke chuckled and watched Toke go into the kitchen. He wrapped his arms around Mick's small waist and kissed her passionately. She smiled at Toke, then continued to beat the eggs into the frying pan.
Toke left and went into the bedroom to get dressed. He came out in his typical black clothes and sat on the couch next to Luke.
"What's up?" Toke asked as he eyed Luke.
"You look alright without all that shit you wear. You both do" Luke said smiling at him.
Mick giggled as she fried links of sausage and said, "I look 'just' alright? Thanks a lot Blaze!"
Toke rolled his eyes at Luke and said, "Well, don't get used to it. I'm going to get ready as soon as my hair dries." He watched Luke tapping his foot and noticed how jumpy he was. He wondered what Luke's problem was and asked "How goes it?"
Luke cleared his throat, trying to breathe normally and said, "Noel and I had a fight."
Toke nodded and said, "So you want to talk about it? What about your roommate? I mean, I don't know Noel at all. Do you think I'm the best qualified person to offer an opinion or advice?"
Luke almost laughed, would have if it hadn't been for the headache he felt coming on. "No. Noah wouldn't understand. I've already told you about my panic attacks. I was wondering if you could... umm..." Luke looked at Toke with raised eyebrows.. afraid to ask what he had come here for.
Toke sat up straight and looked Luke in the eyes. He stated emphatically, "Blaze, I don't mind talking to you about your relationship with Noel, but I don't get high before I go to class. I'm seriously here to learn. Mick was on a waiting list to get in to this college before we moved here. I don't go out partying to get drunk, I don't even drink, and I don't do hard drugs or go around trying to get laid. If you want to light up go ahead, but don't ask me to get you high."
Luke bit his lip and shook his leg faster. "What about Mick?"
Toke chuckled, "No. She won't help you either. She very rarely smokes. Sorry." He took out the lighter and a joint and put them on the table in front of Luke.
Luke fingered the lighter. 'This is so wrong on so many levels, but I hate feeling like I can't control my body when I have these damn attacks! Noah is going to let me have it! What the hell, he doesn't understand! But he warned me... UGH! My damn conscious is a pest, but I have no other choice. It's either get high and relax or go the whole day feeling paranoid and like shit.'
Noah stood up and went to Josh's hospital bed. He said, "Hey Josh, I'm glad your feeling better. Terry? Can I use your cell to call Luke? He should just be getting up about now."
Terry handed Noah his phone as he kissed his boyfriend. He rested his forehead on Josh's and said, "You had me so scared Josh. I am never leaving you, got that? I'm here to stay."
Josh bit his lip to keep his emotions in check. 'Terry sounded so frightened about losing me. Poor baby. I feel so bad for him.'
Josh squeaked, "I'm sorry I scared you."
"Shit!" Noah yelled.
Terry jumped at the sudden loud shout and stood up. He faced Noah and asked, "What's the matter?"
Noah gave Terry his phone back and said, "Luke isn't answering. I hope he's okay. He's been having a hard time with nightmares and I think he's having some kind of mental problems too."
Noah pointed a finger at Terry and Josh and said firmly, "Do not repeat this, either of you. Luke gets sick when I leave.. when he leaves me too. He hates being alone. I don't know what to do. He's like another person. He was getting better, but I don't know."
Terry gasped, "Shit! I asked you to come with me to help Josh! You better get home!"
Noah shook his head and replied, "I woke him up and told him I was leaving to drive you two up here. I just wish there was something I could do for him... he's starting to act weird. I think he's trying to find a place to fit in."
Josh murmured, "He's just happy he has you back Noah."
"I don't think that's it. Yesterday, he was dressed up like a junkie." Noah snickered, recalling Luke's ridiculous getup.
Josh chuckled and coughed. He said quietly, "I saw him. He was looking hot!"
Terry pushed Josh's shoulder and said, "I think we all agree he's hot anyway. So Noah, what do you mean he was 'dressed up' like a junkie?"
Josh answered and giggled at the same time, "Makeup, black hair, nail polish...um.."
Noah scoffed and frowned, "He had on black jeans and a black skull shirt on that this guy 'Toke' gave him to wear. I don't understand why he's hanging around him. It's totally out of character."
Josh answered with a sense of assurance, "I think he said it was for a class Noah. I wouldn't worry about him."
Noah turned away and muttered, "It wasn't for a damn class Josh. He wanted to dress up like that to see what it's like, anyway there's more. I think he's smoking pot too. He's come home smelling like it. It's not like I'm asking alot! I just want him to quit hanging out with this guy."
Terry put a comforting hand on Noah's shoulder and said, "Luciano knows what he's doing."
'I wish I believed that.' Noah heaved a sigh.
Josh coughed hard and spit in a wadded up kleenex. "Agghh! Shit, that's disgusting." He looked at Noah and said, "Give Luke some space. He knows right from wrong. Don't worry, he'll come around."
Terry nodded and agreed, "Yeah it takes time. Even Josh and I have changed. We've been sleeping in the same bed since we've gotten back from Dekalb. I don't think I could ever sleep alone again. When Josh and I had broken up it was pure agony for me to be away from him. I can't imagine what Luciano went through without you. He actually thought he'd never see you again. Josh, Chad and I talked about the fact that we'd never see Luciano again either when you thought we left for home. It was devastating. Chad was sobbing because he felt so bad for you and Luciano. Josh and I, well.. we weren't doing so hot either. I thank God every night before I go to sleep that I spent another day with Josh."
"Do you really Terry?" Josh asked with one narrowed eye and a smirk. "I think your going to hell with that lie."
"Go suck yourself Josh." Terry laughed and turned back to Noah.
Josh covered his mouth and coughed, then said, "That's your job, love."
Noah chuckled. "I didn't realize that this affected you guys too. Oh, did Chad tell you what happened with his team?"
Terry shook his head, but Josh said, "Yup. He told me. (cough) Sorry Terry, I was feeling like shit and really exhausted so I forgot to tell you. (cough-cough) Noah can tell you." He pointed to Noah as he grabbed another kleenex and hacked into it. "UGH God gross!"
Terry smiled at him and turned back to Noah.
Noah began, "Chad and I spent some time together the other night and he told me that the basketball team was really pissed off that he missed the game that Saturday when we were in Dekalb looking for Luke. The team let him have it when he got back. The new captain took him aside and asked him if he was committed to the team because if he was going to miss games he was going to be benched.
Terry opened his mouth and murmured, "That's a shitty thing to tell him after all the shit he went through trying to help you."
Noah nodded and replied, "That's what Chad told him. He ended up confiding in him.. told him the whole story about Luke. He came out to the captain too and told him he's gay and was seeing someone. The captain, I forget his name um, Dan or Dale?, anyway he encouraged Chad to tell the whole team everything."
"Really? After doing everything in his power to keep it a secret when you two were dating?" Terry asked.
"Yeah, that's what I said too. It made me mad when he told me because he was so secretive with our relationship.
Chad told me he gathered everyone in the house and told them. The few guys who had and inkling that he was gay already, hugged him and said they were sorry they had given him the cold shoulder after he missed the game. The other guys heard the rumors, but didn't believe he was gay until he came out. He said everyone was pretty cool."
Josh tapped Terry on the arm and held out his hand. Terry smiled at him and held it, then turned back to Noah. "Go ahead."
"Well, that was a few days after we found Luke. So last week, the team had a talk and agreed that Chad should co-captain the team with, I'm pretty sure his name is Dan, yeah it's Dan."
Terry grinned and said heartily, "Holy shit! That is so cool! Is he gonna do it?"
Noah beamed and replied, "Yeah, he's ecstatic! He said they invited us all to the house tomorrow night, shit with all that's been going on, I forgot to tell Luke. I can tell him later... they also invited Bryan, but he isn't coming until Saturday.
"Chad was going to let me know today about coming. I think he's still in shock, but if he decides it's something he's comfortable with we should go. I don't think you're up to it though Josh." Noah added.
Josh coughed and blew his nose. "Yeah, I don't think I should go. I want to rest up so I'll be able to meet Bryan on Saturday. So if you don't mind.. maybe Terry can leave my hot bod in bed for a while and go with you and Luke."
Noah nodded and replied, "If you change your mind Josh, you know where we'll be. Terry you will definitely have to come. I know where you live and I'll personally haul your ass down there if you don't come with us. Let Josh get some sleep tomorrow night and have some fun."
Terry answered, "I'll be there, don't worry." He pointed out that Noah was going to miss class if he didn't leave, then added, "Go ahead without me and thanks for the help. I'm going to stay with Josh. I think the doctor said something about him staying overnight for observation."
"You sure?" Noah questioned.
Josh spoke up and said hoarsely, "Terry go with him, you have classes too. I don't want you to fall behind because of me. I'll be alright by myself."
Terry turned to Josh and glowered at him. He stated firmly, "I'm staying here. What are you going to do.. get out of that bed and make me leave? I'd like to see you try Joshua! We're in this together whether you like it or not!"
Noah patted Terry on the back and encouraged him. "You tell him Terry!"
Noah snickered at Josh from behind Terry.
Josh rolled his eyes at Noah and gave him the finger.
Noah stuck out his tongue and wiggled it.
Josh smiled and said, "Hey! Use it or lose it Noah!"
Noah grinned, "I'm gonna be using it later on, but not on you." He said goodbye to both friends and left.
Luke sat back and stretched his arms across the back of the couch. He was slightly slouched and high. Mick handed him a plate of eggs, sausage and toast. He ate quickly and looked at Toke.
He couldn't stop giggling at how different he looked. "Damn Toke, you look naked without all of your shit on."
Toke chuckled and ate his breakfast. "I hope your not intending to go to class high, you're way too giddy. Tell me, what happened with Noel?"
Luke laughed loudly and slapped his knee. "Fuck! NOEL! That is so goddamn funny!"
Toke waited for an answer with a wry grin on his face. Mick snickered and went to the bedroom to get ready for classes.
Luke looked at Toke and chuckled. "I dare you to go to class like that, but you have to change your clothes, wear something colorful. I had to do it your way, now you do it mine."
Toke put his hand up and said, "No way Blaze. You're gonna laugh at me all day!"
"No I won't. Promise." Luke held a hand up in the air and the other one over his mouth to quell the laugh stuck in his throat. "You have to now. I dared you!"
"Fine, but if you do anything to embarrass me, I will personally kick your ass into next week. Now tell me what brought you here this morning. I could tell something was wrong the way you were bouncing off the walls. What gives?" Toke looked at Luke with empathy.
Luke groaned, "Achh...Well we had a fight about you. He doesn't want me hanging around you anymore."
"You mean she." Toke corrected Luke.
"Yeah, didn't I say she? Anyway, I really got into trouble with the way I looked when I came home last night." Luke started to giggle uncontrollably. "Shit, you'd have thought I had grown another head or something! The looks I got!"
Toke laughed, "She didn't like it? Wait. I thought you said your roommate was that guy... Noah?"
"He is. He hated the look and said I looked like a druggie.. smelled like one too!" Luke grinned.
"Blaze, I'm confused. Do Noel and Noah both live with you?" Toke asked.
"Yes. Both of them." Luke tried to hold back a laugh, unsuccessfully.
"Want me to kick Noah's ass? The nerve of him accusing you of dressing like a druggie. That was so not druggie garb man! I hope you set him straight." Toke said with his eyebrows drawn together. "He sounds like a downer. You don't need to take shit from a fucking roommate! Toss him out on his sorry ass!"
Luke laughed, "Can't do that, but your right. I shouldn't be taking shit from him!"
Toke nodded and added, "Damn straight! So are you going to tell me about the fight with Noel?"
Luke chuckled and said, "Heh, Noel! She smelled the pot on me and said the sight of me made up like that made hi.. her sick. She made me go take a shower!"
Toke laughed and punched Luke on the arm. "You, my friend, are pussy whipped!"
Luke laughed louder. When he quieted down he said, "No I'm not! I kinda scared h..her. I can understand that. What I don't understand is why I can't hang out with you. Yeah, there's the pot, but it makes me feel so much better. I'm not freaking out and anxious when h..she's not around, and I don't feel so insecure."
Toke brushed the hair out of his own eyes and said, "Well my guess is that she's insecure about you having a strange looking friend and I understand about the pot. We don't have to come here to hang out Blaze. This isn't what I'm about. I like to go to the library, read comics, write poetry. Hell, I'll even sit in that coffee shop with you while you drink your drug of choice." He chuckled.
Luke snickered.
Toke continued, "You know, maybe if she met me first, she wouldn't be so hardened against me. I mean I look normal now, right? This would be a good first impression. Go call her. We can meet for lunch or something."
Mick walked out dressed in black and blue. Blue eyeshadow, lips and tights. "Bye Toke, see you later."
"Bye doll." Toke smiled. Mick planted a slow wet kiss on his lips.
She walked to Luke and kissed him on the cheek and said, "Bye Blaze. See ya."
Toke wiped the blue from his lips and laughed at the blue kiss mark on Luke's cheek.
Luke wiped it off and smiled, "I like her. She's really cool."
Toke nodded, "Yeah, she is... now. We broke up because she wanted to bring a third party into the bedroom."
Luke chuckled, "I like threesomes! Had one with Noah, um Noel sorta."
Toke raised his eyebrows and said, "You, Noel and Noah had a threesome?"
Luke was referring to the one in the tent with Noah and Chad that really didn't turn into anyone having sex, but he went along with what Toke was thinking.
"Yeah, it was hot." Luke reddened, but giggled, thinking back to licking melted truffles off Noah's body with Chad, then licking cum off Chad's body with Noah.
Toke asked skeptically, "So how does that work? 2 guys and a girl... man, I don't know if I could do that! Mick wanted to bring a girlfriend home, but I hate sharing so I said no and that's why she broke up with me. It wasn't for very long."
Luke waved his arm. "That's nothing. I've done some really crazy shit. I was in a foursome.. about a year ago. That was hot!" Luke chuckled and said, "God I was so crazy!"
"Blaze man," Toke shook his head and said, "You ARE crazy!"
"Yup! Like I said that was a while ago." Luke chuckled and said, "I met No..el this past summer when me and my date swung with her and her boyfriend. The best night of my life was when I met my soul mate."
Toke dropped his jaw and said, "That was your love at first sight? Jesus, what did your girlfriend think?"
"My other..." Luke looked totally perplexed. He was getting so confused. He said, "He.. they... had fun too."
Toke snickered, "I'm gonna add that to your interview!"
Luke jumped up and tackled Toke. "NO! Don't do that!"
Toke easily flipped Luke with one of his wrestling moves. He laughed and pinned Luke. "Gotcha! You'll never take me Blaze! I was only kidding anyway!" he laughed.
"For a guy who claims he's straight, you sure like to wrestle other guys an awful lot. You like poetry, comics and what else did you say? Oh.. oh.. wearing women's makeup and underwear! Do you wear Mick's clothes when she's gone?"
Toke tightened his grip on Luke and cracked a smile, "That's a transvestite you asshole!"
Luke laughed and tried to pull his knees up. Toke was laying across him and had him pinned really good.
"So, what do you say? Uncle?" Toke asked.
"Say about what?" Luke laughed. "You being a transvestite? I think your name should be Miss Lucas-Luscious!" Luke giggled and giggled.
Toke laughed and got up. He couldn't help chuckling at his new friend, he was so funny. He helped Luke get up only to see Luke fall over onto the couch clutching his stomach, still laughing and trying to breathe.
Toke smiled and said, "You are in so much trouble with your girl dude."
Luke sat up and gathered his composure, then said, "So umm.. I need to take a shower, because I smell like weed. How do I get the smell out of my clothes?"
Toke straightened his shirt. He lent Luke a hand and pulled him off the couch. He motioned with his head and said, "Come on."
In the bathroom, Toke tossed a can of men's musk scented body mist to Luke.
He directed, "Take your shower, then spray this on your clothes. It helps." He closed the door behind him and walked into the other room.
Luke took his shower and sprayed his clothes with the body mist. 'Mmm this does smell good, but now I smell like Toke! Whatever, Noah doesn't know what he smells like.'
Luke was just about to head out the bathroom door when Toke knocked and said, "So what do you think? Mick, me, you, and Noel can meet for lunch today, or supper if you prefer."
Luke opened the door and said, "Uh. Today? I have a feeling I'm going to be in the doghouse when I get back. I sorta left without saying where I was going."
Toke shook his head. "Dude this chick sounds like a bitch. She won't let you see who you want, do what you want, or be who you want to be. She's already got the chains on you after 2 months? Why the hell are you marrying her again?"
Luke shrugged, "I love her." He began to laugh. 'HER!'
"I... oh shit... heh-heh, can't live without her. She's been there for me.. through everything."
'HER!' Luke howled with laughter.
Toke put a hand on Luke's shoulder. He rose his voice over Luke's roaring laughter to express his opinion and concern. "That doesn't give her the right to treat you like shit! No wonder you have panic attacks, you're scared what she's going to think of you."
Luke replied, "No I think my attacks are from the shit I've been through. I can deal when I'm under the influence of pot, otherwise I'm a nervous wreck."
"You should cut caffeine from your diet. It raises your heart rate and makes you more anxious and jittery." Toke advised. "Get a good night's sleep too... at least 8 hours. I bet you aren't sleeping well. That lowers your immune system, stress lowers it too."
"Okay Doc. Oz." Luke giggled.
Toke stated, "Blaze, I have to get to class. Do you want to stay and chill or are you headed out too?"
"I guess I'll head out too, but you have to change into some colorful clothes first."
Toke rolled his eyes and threw his hands up in the air. "Fine! Be right back."
Luke walked to the sink. He grabbed a clean cup and filled it with water from the tap. He was drinking it when Toke walked back out and grabbed his backpack.
Luke turned around and started laughing into his cup of water. He put the cup down and pointed at Toke. "Oh fuck! You have got to be kidding me!"
Toke narrowed his eyes at him and said, "Not another word. Not one Blaze!" He held up his fist and shook it as he smiled.
Luke giggled as he looked at Toke's outfit. His blue jeans had obviously never been worn. He had on un-scuffed white sneakers and a blue and green striped sweater. His hair was neatly combed and he looked really handsome.. not even a little resemblance to how Luke was used to seeing him.
"See ya in class you normal looking dude. Oh since your not dressed up as yourself, can I call you Lucas?" Luke laughed and walked out the door.
"You do and you'll have a permanent mark on your ass from the bottom of my shoe!" Toke pointed his finger at Luke and poked him on the chest.
They made plans to meet for lunch before their communications class as they walked together, then parted ways.
Noah opened the door to the room and noticed that Luke's alarm clock was still going off. He turned it off and rubbed his chin
'Hmmm.. He left before the alarm woke him up? Fuck where did he go?'
Noah went to get his cell phone to call Luke in order to find out where he was. He had left in a hurry and had forgotten it on his desk. He saw Luke's phone sitting right next to it as if it were intentionally left there to leave some sort of statement.
'Guess I'll talk to him when he gets back.'
The more Noah thought about it the more he was convinced he was right about Luke leaving his phone there on purpose. Noah was usually a calm, collected, easy going guy, but Luke's behavior lately made him livid.
'He deliberately left his phone on MY desk. What a bitch! What is he so pissed off about and where the hell did he go?'
Noah packed his backpack and went to class. He would meet up with Luke for lunch before his communications class.
"Noah! Wait up!" Chad ran up to Noah. His cheeks and nose were red from the cold weather even though he was bundled up.
Noah's mouth gave a suggestion of a smile. He spoke with sadness in his voice, "Hi Chad."
"Hey, Terry called me. Josh is in the hospital!" Chad put a gloved hand on Noah's arm and cocked his head to the side. He asked with sincerity, "What's wrong? Is it Luciano?"
Noah asked, "I know about Josh and Terry. I drove them to Chicago early this morning. Regarding my mood, I'm sure you don't want to hear my sob story. What did you want anyway?"
"I want to hear what's wrong first! You look like your going to cry. If there's something I can do for you I will." Chad said in a friendly manner.
Noah smiled and said, "I'm not going to cry, but thanks just the same Chad. This is something I need to talk about with Luke. What's up with you?"
"You know Josh's birthday is the weekend after next. Terry just asked me to ask you and Luciano to hold a surprise party at your place.. I'm buying the beer and Bryan might be able to make it that night too. So talk it over and let me know. Oh, what are you getting Josh for a gift? Terry suggested some things, but I wanted to hear what you're getting him first."
Noah made a sour face and said, "Shit! I haven't even thought about it! I guess Luke and I will go shopping next week. I'm sure Luke won't care about having the party in our room, but I'll ask anyway. I can supply some snacks. What else will we need?"
"Decorations! Balloons, streamers... anything embarrassing!" Chad laughed.
Noah laughed as well. "In that case, I think we should hire a stripper to give him a lap dance!"
"Nuh-uh! Terry would have your head on a platter... unless you go female!" Chad snickered.
Noah had an idea, "How about a casino themed party? We can play cards, drink and bet!"
Chad said animatedly, "Ooooh! Josh would love it! He loves to play poker! That's a great idea Noah! We need chips and a table then."
"Well I'll think some more about it. What about tomorrow night? Is the frat party on or not?" Noah asked as they began to walk.
"On, at 8pm. I'm kinda nervous. You know?"
"Don't worry, we'll be there to support you. Just chill. Now what abut Saturday night?"
"9pm at the club for dancing and drinks."
Noah nodded, "Great. I haven't been dancing for a while. I think the last time was when I lost my memory. I went out with Luke and that asshole Brendan. Who would have thought one person could cause so much misery? Well I gotta go. I'll tell Terry I'm 99% sure that Luke and I can host the party."
"Sure thing." Chad waved and walked away.
Toke was waiting for Luke in the middle of campus. The temperature had dropped to a frigid 11 degrees. He blew warm air into his hands and rubbed them together swiftly.
Luke's grin got wider and wider as he walked closer and closer to Toke because he looked totally different... like a "regular" person.
"LUKE!" Noah shouted from behind him. He ran and caught up to him. Luke turned to face Noah.
Noah looked concerned, but he was glad Luke appeared to be alright. He questioned, "What's going on with you? Where have you been?"
"Me! You're the one who fucking left me alone this morning! Did you conveniently forget your phone too?" Luke turned around and started walking toward Toke.
Toke could hear them fighting, but not what was being said. He shook his head and stuck his hands in the pockets of the blue jeans he had on. The jeans were so freaking uncomfortable and stiff, not soft and worn like all of his black jeans. He saw Noah grab Luke's arm. An angry puff of breath came out of Toke's mouth in the form of vapor and evaporated.
Noah grabbed Luke's arm and whirled his body around. "Answer me please! Where were you? You left before your alarm went off."
"Noah, I don't want to talk about it right now. Later." Luke pulled his arm out of Noah's grip and stared at him. "Actually Noah, where the hell were you this morning?"
Noah glared at Luke until he realized that he seriously didn't know. "I woke you up and told you. I thought you understood me. I took Josh and Terry to the hospital. Josh is sick with the flu. He's going to be okay."
"BLAZE! Lets hit it!" Toke yelled as he closed the distance between him, Luke and Noah. Luke's roommate seemed to be causing trouble and on top of Luke's anxiety, Toke knew Luke didn't need this bastard yelling him.
Noah looked up quickly, then back at Luke thinking the guy was yelling for someone by the name of Blaze behind him, oblivious to the fact that it was Toke yelling for Luke.
Noah frowned thinking the worst possible scenario.
'Luke most likely had been with Toke after I told him I didn't want him hanging around him.'
Noah asked with his voice raised, "Where were you this morning? You weren't off with..."
Toke walked up to Luke and said calmly, "Blaze, lets go." He leered at Noah with disrespect.
PART B OF CHAPTER 6
Noah looked at Luke who was seemingly trying to disappear. Luke's posture had changed and he was staring at the ground.
Noah looked at Toke, not recognizing him, and asked, "Who the hell are you?"
Luke spoke up and turned to Toke. He muttered, "I'll meet you at the diner in 5 minutes."
Toke said, "Okay." to Luke, then glared at Noah and said, "Leave him the hell alone! He's got enough on his mind without you adding to his anxiety!"
Noah took a step toward Toke and clenched his teeth, "Shut up you fucker! Who the hell are you anyway!"
"I'm his friend!" He yelled at Noah, then said in a normal tone of voice to Luke, "Blaze, man you should come with me now!" Toke expressed his concern for Luke's safety, as he saw Noah get angrier and more protective.
"It's okay, go. I want to talk to Noah." Luke said quietly without meeting Toke's eyes.
Toke understood. He put a hand on Luke's shoulder and said, "You sure?"
Luke nodded and said, "Yup."
Noah looked at the hand on Luke's shoulder and became furious. He watched Toke leave and stared at Luke with penetrating eyes.
Luke started to feel his world come apart.
Noah stuck his hands in his coat pockets and said angrily, "I thought I asked you not to see that jerk again!"
Luke started to speak, "How..."
"His fingernail polish. Do you think I'm stupid Luke? Did you two think you could pull one over on me?" Noah glared at Luke, trying to look into his eyes to see what he was thinking.
"It wasn't like that Noah. Really." Luke said. "Since I dressed like him, I dared him to dress like me today. That's all. We weren't trying to trick anyone."
"So did you go to his place again? I bet you got high, didn't you!" Noah raised his voice.
Luke knew he had to answer honestly, but he found he couldn't speak.
'It's so hard to manage the ups and downs of my life without getting high. It's helping me, can't he see that?'
"The last time I believed you Luke. You said you wouldn't get high or meet with him! You're oblivious to your disgrace Luke. Are you high now?" Noah sneered.
Luke shook his head. "No Noah. I'm not."
'I've disappointed him again. What am I doing and why do I keep doing it?'
Noah continued his line of questioning, "Did I ask too much for you not to see him anymore, because I'm only concerned about your well being."
Luke swallowed, gulped hard, and shyly muttered like a child who is being scolded, "I know Noah." Problems and concerns wrapped around Luke's mind like a tightly knotted rope and weren't letting go.
Noah stood in front of Luke staring at him and breathing in the frosty air. The mist from his heated breath came out fast and furiously. It was so quiet.
'We're supposed to help each other, to talk, but he keeps lying to me! He said he wouldn't meet Toke anymore. He was with him this morning and now he's meeting him for lunch at the diner!'
Luke looked up and read the storm in Noah's eyes.
'He's so silent. I want Noah to speak before I start to scream out... anything to break this silence.'
Finally, Noah did speak in a low voice, "You keep pushing me and lying to me Luke. I don't know whats going to happen with us. If there will be an us."
Luke looked frightened, "Noah, why would you tear our world apart?"
Noah asked incredulously, "ME? You're throwing everything away, not me."
Tears filled Luke's eyes, "He's really nice Noah! I'm meeting him in the diner like you suggested. I'm not going to his apartment! Come with me, we all can sit down and talk."
"So you've told him that I'm not just your roommate then?" Noah asked.
"No, not yet. I will... if you come and have lunch with us." Luke said with hope.
"No." Noah said sternly, then asked suspiciously, "Why does he call you that name?"
"Blaze?" Luke asked.
"Whatever." Noah muttered.
"During the interview I told him about the fire and he said he was going to call me Blaze from now on."
Noah frowned and said, "It sounds like a name you'd use as a term of endearment Luke."
Luke stood tall and corrected Noah, "No! He's straight! I told you that! He's been dating the same girl on and off..."
"Yeah for 2 years, you told me. That doesn't matter. He could swing both ways Luke!"
"He doesn't!" Luke gave Noah a look of disgust.
Noah countered, "You don't know that!"
Luke announced, "He watches porn with lesbians in it, no guys!"
"How would you know? He tell you that?" Noah said with disbelief.
Luke was silent. His eyes left Noah's face recalling the embarrassing moment with Toke and the dvd.
Luke's silence confirmed his thoughts, "Oh for fuck's sake. You two watched it together? What the hell Luke! Do you want to be LIKE this guy or do you want to BE this guy?"
"It was a kind of bonding thing, you know." Luke said feeling ashamed. He wanted to fight back, yell, get angry, anything to stick up for himself. He quickly was losing the battle in getting his confidence back.
"What? Bonding... how is that bonding Luke? I have no desire to watch that type of porn, why would you? Wait! Did you two get each other off! Tell me right now and do NOT lie to me."
Luke looked appalled. "I have never cheated on you and I resent the fact that you would even think I would do something like that!"
"Then tell me what goes on in this apartment besides porn and drugs! Do you drink too?"
"Noah! NO!" Luke said with hurt in his eyes.
Noah huffed and shook his head. "I don't know if I can deal with this..."
"Noah!" Luke yelled, "Please... don't.. don't.. say you're going to leave me!"
Noah sighed and said, "Luke, you know I won't. I love you. I need to figure some things out."
"Like what?" Luke asked, thinking Noah was insinuating that he needed to figure out their relationship.
"I need some time to think. I'll talk to you later about it." He knew Luke needed to get his stupid interview done. "Promise me you're going to class after the diner, you'll stay away from his apartment, and you'll come home after classes tonight?"
Luke raised his eyebrows and nodded. "Definitely."
Against Noah's better judgment he said, "Okay, go work on that interview. Get it done already." Noah's conscious incessantly nagged him... warning him not to be so blind. Noah thought about all the things Luke could be hiding from him. Noah turned away, fighting the urge to drag Luke to the dorm by the hair like some caveman.
Luke begged, "Can I have a hug before you go?"
Noah turned around, stepped forward, and hugged Luke loosely. He smelled Luke's hair. It smelled clean, nothing like it did last night.
"I can't feel you Noah." Luke rested his head against Noah's shoulder, trying to pull him closer.
Noah took a 1/2 step forward and hugged Luke tighter.
"Thank you. See you later." Luke said quietly and kissed Noah's wintery cold lips. His panic set in as soon as Noah walked away.
'What if he's going to go pack and move out!'
"Noah!" Luke called out and ran to him.
Noah caught Luke in his arms and asked, "Luke! Are you okay?"
Luke held onto him and said, "You'll be home when I get there, right. You're not still mad are you?"
"I'm fine Luke. We're fine. I just have to deal with my own issues. I'll be home waiting for you later. I have to get to class before I'm late. Bye." He kissed Luke on the forehead, turned around and left.
Luke forced himself to turn away from Noah. He walked to the diner and kept his head low... matching his mood.
He walked in the door of the diner and looked around. Toke smiled, stood up, and waved. Luke waved back and walked to the table. He sat across from Toke and ordered from the waitress.
"So, you wanna tell me what's going on Blaze?" Toke asked with his hand on his chin, propping up his head.
Luke brought out his notebook and turned to a blank page.
"Well, I'm sure you know already Toke. You want me to leave?" Luke asked quietly.
"No, but you should have been up front with me about you and Noah. Noel! PSHH! You couldn't come up with a better name than that?"
Luke hadn't made eye contact since he had sat down. He shrugged and said, "It was the first name that came to mind."
Toke laughed. "So was everything you told me made up?"
"No, just the part about Noel. I was really kidnapped and I was in a fire. I'm from Chicago, I want to be a writer and I am engaged to Noah, who is also my roommate. The earring in my ear is my engagement ring so to speak. I lied because my lifestyle is questionable to some people and I wasn't sure how you would react."
Toke smiled, leaned over and pushed Luke's shoulder. He sat back in his chair and stared at Luke's somber face. "Hey! Lighten up Blaze! You being gay doesn't bother me. It's cool so relax."
Luke finally lifted his eyes and met Toke's brown eyes. Toke grinned and said, "I want the guy that I've been hanging out with for the past week. He was full of shit and giggles."
Luke smiled shyly and asked, "You honestly don't look at me differently than you did this morning?"
Toke rubbed his strong jawline and said, "Hmm... No, but I hope I didn't give YOU a boner when I was wrestling you! HA HA! Oh before I forget, I'm not going to quit saying 'that's gay' either."
Luke smiled and nodded, "Okay, as long as you don't make me watch girl on girl porn or I will bring my guy on guy movies over!"
Toke laughed loudly, "Oh Ew! No I promise... never again. Shit..fuck... oh shit!" He covered his mouth and reddened. He looked at Luke, then covered his face with both hands.
Luke looked at Toke with confusion and asked, "What? Toke, what is it? You don't want to be friends... Mick won't approve?" Luke began to get nervous when Toke wouldn't move his hands away from his face to meet his eyes. Luke picked up his bag and stood up. He said quietly, "I guess I don't belong here. So umm.. I gotta go. I've got nothing against you Toke. Maybe I'll see you around, maybe not."
Toke replied, "Blaze, sit your ass down and quit talking like that." Toke removed his hands from his beet red face. "I just realized... I'm sorry about... I got really fucking high and I... damn... You being there.. and gay."
An awareness overcame Luke. He understood that Toke was embarrassed about his actions. Luke breathed a deep sigh of relief that they could still be friends and almost laughed. "Oh THAT? Me and my friends do that all the time when we watch porn!"
Toke looked up and asked with skepticism, "Really? Good cuz I..."
Luke burst out laughing, "No my current friends and I don't, but I was part of a circle jerk once."
Toke drew his eyebrows together and said, "What is a... oh fuck, forget it. I think I get it. Jesus you are some piece of work! You really got around."
Luke nodded and said, "Yeah, not anymore though. I really lo.."
"You can say it Blaze. I don't care. I just don't want to see anybody's dick going into anything unless it's a chick. Mouth or otherwise."
Luke smirked, "I really love Noah." Their food came and they began to eat.
Toke smiled, "Yeah, I love Mick too. You love who you love right? So when I was watching that porn and getting off, it didn't make you, uh.. you didn't get the wrong impression, did you?"
"Toke, just because I'm gay doesn't mean I'm attracted to all guys!" Luke laughed.
Toke joked, "Oh, so I'm not attractive?"
"Shut up. I'm not answering that on the grounds that you might get the wrong impression." Luke laughed.
Toke smiled, then got a serious look on his face and said, "Hey, you didn't get hurt in those gay bashings a while back did you?"
"Bruised, but no worse for the wear. Noah got beat up though. He was attacked in his dorm room. He lost his memory for a little while. His best friend was the first victim and he was the second. Well, Wade used to be his friend." Luke stared at his notebook.
"So what was the fight with Noel outside the building a little while ago? UGH! Look what you've got me doing now!" he laughed and said, "Noel! I meant Noah. What was the fight about this time... Let me guess, me? I'm sorry man, I keep getting you into trouble. What can I do?"
Luke shrugged. "I don't know what to do. He wants me to finish this interview today, so we better get working before class starts."
"Okay shoot away. What do you want to know?" Toke smiled as he took a bite of a His veggie burger.
Luke sipped his vanilla milkshake and said, "Just start talking. I'll sort it all out later."
"Jesus. Okay. I don't know.. my parents divorced when I was a toddler. My mom moved us to a quaint little town outside of Milwaukee. She got remarried when I was starting kindergarten. Ummm... shit. We traveled, but you know that."
"Where?"
"All over Europe... anyway. We moved to Chicago. Where I went to middle and high school... Blah, Blah, Blah... I met Mick, fell in love with her and followed her here so she could go to the best school to become an R.N. and hopefully intern at a clinic or in an E.R."
"That shit is boring Toke. Tell me one thing about your life that you've never told anyone else."
"For the interview? No fucking way!" Toke yelled.
Luke pouted and began to chew on the end of his pen. "Okay, tell me about the way you feel now, compared to how you feel when your all made up."
"Oh shit, really Blaze? That's your interview?"
"Come on Toke! My interview was easy. I had just gone through that whole kidnapping ordeal!"
"You make it sound like you went through it just for me and this assignment." Toke grinned and said, "Thank you buddy!"
Luke tried to hid the grin that wanted to splay on his face. "Well, your not fucking welcome!"
Toke laughed, "Fine, there's some stuff when I was younger, but I really don't remember everything. Um, how about when I... Nah. Oh yeah, nope that's no good either."
Luke chuckled as he slurped the rest of his shake and sat back in his chair.
"I could tell you about the time me and a friend dared each other to jump off a bridge the night after our high school graduation. It was a 25 foot jump into a few feet of water. I came out unscathed except for one seriously sore coccyx. My friend broke his leg."
Luke laughed. "Jesus! Ouch! You and your friend were idiots! What else, how about a human interest story."
Toke sighed and said, "Yeah, okay. Last year I volunteered with Mick to help at the Golden Hearts senior home. We both became really close to this older lady named Helen. Her husband had died a few years before she had a stroke. Helen and her husband couldn't have children and she had no living family left to take care of her. That left her no choice but to go to the senior home for care. Mick and I would sit and listen to her talk about how she'd go with her dad and get a block of ice for the cupboard to keep the milk cold. Her mom and dad would take her every year to the town picnic by the lake. There was a barber shop quartet singing and later she said some guys played trumpets and the sax. There were pie eating contests, sack races in flour bags and horseshoes. The whole town would show up. She met her husband when he was showing off. He was swinging from a rope and was going to jump into the lake when she caught his eye. He forgot to let go of the rope and swung back and hit the tree the rope was tied to. He got the air knocked out of him and fell. She said she was horrified and ran to his rescue. He was scraped up pretty bad. She told me and Mick that her future husband told her that he didn't feel a thing when he gazed into into her blue eyes."
Luke smiled, "That's a really nice story Toke."
"Yeah, then one day we came to visit her and she was gone. Died the night before. Fucking sucked. I paid for her tombstone because the senior home was just going to put a marker on her grave. Turns out she left Mick and I some money. I told Mick to keep it, it'll pay for her college. My parents are well off so I don't need to worry about money."
Luke looked surprised and said, "Wow you bought her a tombstone. That's very charitable of you."
"Ehh.." Toke shrugged. "Charity had nothing to do with it. Mick and I came to love the old broad. She was funny and interesting. I just wish we could have said goodbye to her and told her how much we enjoyed her company. The home said she passed away in her sleep. She could tell a story let me tell you, some really good ones too. Mick and I still miss her."
"You should meet my grandma Emma, my dad's mom, she's a trip. My Grandma Lucinda too. She's feisty.
Noah walked back from class with Luke on his mind.
'He's so defiant and now he's lying to me. I'm being too paranoid. I can't keep him from making friends... maybe I should meet this guy, Toke. It might help Luke feel better if I look like I'm making an effort in getting to know him.'
Noah was lost in thought when someone yelled" BOO!" in his ear and began to laugh like a maniac.
Noah looked like he jumped 3 feet off the ground. He'd know that laugh anywhere. He turned around and saw Chad bowled over laughing his ass off.
Noah walked over to him and placed a hand on each shoulder and gently pushed Chad backwards into a snowbank.
Chad continued to laugh as he got up and brushed off his ass. He saw Noah's hands coming at him again and giggled. He grabbed Noah's hands when they began to push his chest and pulled Noah down with him.
"Whoaaa!" Noah yelled as he fell on top of Chad.
Chad laughed and pushed a handful of snow in Noah's face.
"Oh it's on now Taylor! You're gonna get it." Noah laughed as he grabbed a palm-ful of snow and stuffed it down the front of Chad's coat.
"AHHHH fuck that's cold!" Chad smiled like a sly fox. He shoved a handful of snow down the back of Noah's pants.
Noah yelped and stood up quickly. "You asshole!"
Chad was laughing hysterically. "That's for the time you put that ice cube down my shorts in that Italian Restaurant up north! I told you I'd get you back for that!"
Noah chuckled as he wiggled his pants back and forth. "I thought I made it up to you that night with those truffles... remember?"
Chad looked thoughtful for a moment and grinned, "Mmm yeah I do. Mouth gag and all. Luciano, you, and me. That was hot Noah."
Noah smiled as he recalled sucking Luke's chocolatey thumb, kissing his lips, and Luke's tongue sensuously licking his chest. He said dreamily, "Yeah it was."
Chad threw a snowball and hit Noah on the chest.
Noah ran at Chad and tackled him. He looked at Chad's face and asked, "What gives you the right to be so happy?"
"Not what, who. Bryan called while I was in class. I had to come out here to answer. He can come up for the whole weekend!" Chad was so excited he kissed Noah on the lips, then a look of horror came over his face.
"Oh shit! I'm sorry! I..." He began to apologize.
"Relax Chad it's alright!" Noah said.
Chad nodded and said, "It was a reflex sorry."
"I said forget it. So where is Doctor Bryan staying?" Noah smirked.
"Don't know yet. He said he was going to call around and find somewhere close to campus. Oh, he said he'll come to the house party tomorrow night. I'm kinda freaked out. What if he doesn't fit in?"
"He knows what he's getting into Chad. Have fun and quit worrying like a mother hen." Noah snickered.
He's coming tomorrow Noah!" Chad grinned like the cat that just ate the canary.
Noah chuckled and got up. He pulled Chad up and said, "Are you staying at the hotel with him or didn't he say?"
Chad reddened. "He didn't say. I'm assuming he wanted to stay close to campus to be near the frat house. Wipe that sneaky smile off your face!"
Noah grinned. "Sorry, I know you want him."
"Yeah, but he's not like that. I told you he wants a real relationship and I'm not ready. We respect each others wishes. We made out when I stayed overnight at his place in Chicago and there was no touching below the belt. That's the extent of our dating."
"You're dating?" Noah asked with amazement.
"Technically yes, but like I said, not seriously. He told me he was going to stop dating other men. So I think that constitutes dating. I talk to him on the phone almost everyday." As if on cue, Chad's phone rang.
"Hold on Noah." Chad turned away. He checked the number and grinned. He answered his phone with an unexpected high voice caused by excitement.
"Hello?" He cleared his throat and said it lower. "Hello."
"Hello Chad." Bryan purred. "I thought I'd call and tell you that I have a room at the Lakeview."
"Oh... Okay." Chad sighed and cast his eyes down in disappointment.
"You sound down. Is it a dump?" Bryan asked with concern.
"Not at all. It's a very nice place. It's not near campus though. It's way across town."
Bryan smiled and asked with a subtle sly voice, "Why would I need to be near campus Chad? You don't go to classes on weekends do you?"
Chad chuckled with embarrassment and said, "No."
'How can this one person make me feel like a kid? What does he see in me? I act like a fucking teenager around him! He probably laughed the whole week about the fact I got a hard on from just kissing him when I stayed with him... How did he not get one? I guess he can control himself better than me... or he was turned off because I kept moaning in his mouth, but I couldn't help it!"
Bryan said, "Hey, I found a gift for you."
Chad was brought of his thoughts and smiled. "What is it?"
Bryan said in a intentional seductive deep voice, "Well it's something on a rope."
Chad rolled his eyes and said, "You got me soap on a rope? Gee thanks. You trying to tell me something?"
Bryan laughed and said in a quiet voice so the staff at the hospital wouldn't hear him, "No, but I have a running theme going... guess what shape the soap is in."
Terry woke up with a kink in his neck from napping in one of the visitor chairs in the hospital room. He looked at Josh, who was sleeping soundly. He walked to his boyfriend and felt his head. It still felt a little warm, but it wasn't burning up like before. He could hear Josh wheezing due to his cough, but the doctor assured him Josh was going to be fine. Terry looked at Josh and studied his face.
Josh had long eyelashes like Luke, brown hair and a smattering of freckles across his nose, just like his own nose. His lips were shaped like a cupids bow.
He never would have thought he would fall in love with Josh of all people. He always thought of him as a very attractive, funny, and great friend. Now Josh was a very attractive, funny and great boyfriend.
Terry smiled and laid a hand on Josh's chest to feel the rise and fall of his slow steady breathing. He leaned over Josh's face and delicately kissed his forehead, hoping he wouldn't wake him, he didn't.
Terry quietly shut the door behind himself and walked to the cafeteria to grab lunch.
Josh woke up soon after, in a coughing fit. He spit up a bunch of yellow mucus and raised his bed. He had noticed Terry had left, but he knew Terry wouldn't have gone far. His nurse came in and remarked that his temperature had gone down some, 101.5 degrees, and that his blood pressure and heart rate were normal. All in all he would be able to leave tomorrow if he promised to rest and drink lots of water.
Terry walked back into Josh's room quietly with a sandwich and a can of Red Bull. He noticed that Josh was awake and rushed over to him. He dropped his lunch at the end of the hospital bed. With a silly grin on his face, he folded his arms around Josh's neck. Josh chuckled and hugged him back.
"Hey babe! How do you feel?" Terry looked into Josh's hazel eyes.
Josh met Terry's brown and green eyes and said happily, "Much better. Thanks for taking care of me." He turned his head coughed to the side.
Terry said, "You're mine. Of course I'm gonna take care of you!"
"Still, you could have waited until later." Josh caressed Terry's cheek and turned his head. He coughed again, this time into the crook of the inside of his elbow. "Goddamn this cough!" He muttered raspingly.
"You okay?" Terry asked worriedly.
"Yeah. Fine." Josh cleared his throat.
Terry continued, "I could tell you were really sick. I wouldn't have waited even if you insisted you were okay. I'm glad you're feeling better. Has the doctor come in yet?"
"The nurse did, she said I would be well enough to leave tomorrow with lots of rest... in a bed... with my boyfriend... to take care of my EVERY need and want. What do you think of that?" Josh grinned.
"I think you have sex on the brain and your full of shit! Remind me that I need to call Noah and ask him to come pick us up tomorrow."
"Terry, seriously. Sex is healthy... I could sweat out the flu and be all better after... two to four lovemaking sessions! How about it? We could actually discover a way to get rid of the flu faster. People won't need to suffer for three to four weeks with these shitty symptoms! " Josh yawned and laid his head back on his pillow.
Terry smiled and teased, "We'll see. I don't want you to do something too strenuous and get weaker. How about if I promise I'll take your temperature... orally."
"Mm, okay." Josh smiled sexily. "I have a big juicy... thermometer..." his eyes got heavy as he grew tired.
Terry stayed on the bed and ate his lunch as he watched Josh's head drop to the side. He depressed the button to lay the bed down flat so Josh would be more comfortable. He brushed Josh's hair to the side.
'I better call Noah after I eat. I hope Josh will love the gift I picked for his birthday present. It took me forever to find the perfect thing. He looks so peaceful when he sleeps... so handsome.'
Noah answered his phone. He agreed to pick up Josh and Terry tomorrow before his first class. He turned back to Chad who had just finished talking to Bryan.
"Bryan would like everyone to meet in the bar at the Lakeview Saturday night. That way he can get to know everyone without yelling over the music at the club. Then later we can all go dancing and have a few more drinks. Sound okay?"
"Yeah. How is the Doc."
Chad chuckled and looked at Noah. "He's getting me soap on a rope in a certain anatomical shape. I want to get him a gag gift too, any suggestions? You're the idea man."
Noah shrugged and thought a minute. "Are you talking regular gag gift or a naughty one?"
"Naughty." Chad blushed, looked down and pushed the snow on the sidewalk with his foot.
Noah snickered at Chad's uncharacteristic embarrassment and replied, "There's a lot of things to choose from. Umm, there's dick shaped candles, a dick shaped squirt gun, a magnet in the shape of a head of a dick for his fridge. I've seen a dick shaped stopper for a wine bottle. Ohh! I've got it! A toothbrush to go with the on a rope soap! The handle is shaped like a dick.. shaft and everything!"
Chad laughed, "Perfect!"
Noah said, "You'll have to go to 'Naughty Novelties' near Chicago though."
"Oh shit!" Chad grumbled as his shoulders slumped.
Noah said, "I can get it tomorrow when I go pick up Josh and Terry."
Chad grinned and hugged Noah. "Would you? Thanks!"
"No problem Chad. I gotta go." Noah waved and walked away. Chad went in the other direction grinning with delight.
Noah was doing his homework at his desk when Luke walked in the door. He glanced at Noah, who didn't turn around, but said, "Hi. Did you get your interview done?"
Luke answered with a low volume to his voice, "Most of it." He set his messenger bag on the bed and took out his notebook. He walked to his desk, next to Noah's and took his laptop, then walked away. He got comfortable on the bed and began typing. He had hours of formating and cleaning up the interview still ahead of him.
Noah sighed and swiveled his chair around. "You don't want to sit by me?"
Luke's eyes never left the screen. He mumbled, "I need to work on this."
Noah sighed and said, "Luke, I've made a decision."
That got Luke's attention. He looked up form his laptop. "You made a decision about what? Us?" Luke's voice caught and he held his breath.
Noah walked over to the bed and sat down. He looked at Luke's face and said, "No, about Toke."
Luke rolled his eyes and said curtly, "I already know. I can't hang out with him or go to his apartment."
Noah shook his head, "I don't want you going to his apartment, but you can hang out with him. I want a chance to talk to him, maybe hang out with you guys since you're going to be friends."
Luke stared at Noah for a bit, then looked down at his keyboard. He began typing again and thought with sarcasm, 'How nice of him! HE"S going to LET me hang out with Toke. He's treating me like a fucking child!'
"Well? Is that okay with you?" Noah asked.
"Yeah, whatever you say Noah." he didn't look up. Instead, he scowled and kept typing.
Noah reached out and put a hand on Luke's knee. "You're pissed off aren't you?"
Luke looked up and raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, as a matter of fact I am!" He saved his work and shut the laptop.
Luke stated with belligerence, "You treat me like you own me Noah. Like a kid who needs permission to do something before I do it!" He stood up and walked across the room. "Just because we're engaged doesn't give you the right to tell me what I can and can't do. If you think you have that right because we're engaged, then I don't want..."
Noah quickly stood up and said, "Don't say it Luke! You have a new friend that I don't know and he seems to know more about how you feel than I do. I'm used to you needing and confiding in me, and I guess I loved taking care of you like that. I'll lay off."
Luke ran a hand through his hair and said, "I still need you Noah. I admit, it's still hard for me to be alone, but I'm trying everyday."
Noah reached out and held onto Luke. He kissed his neck and said in a sensual voice, "I appreciate that Luke. I guess I'm having trouble adjusting to that fact." He kissed Luke's earlobe, then licked it.
Luke moaned and kissed Noah's jawline. "I need you more than ever in my life, don't you know that?"
Noah nodded and said, "I guess I need some reassurance too."
Luke smiled up at Noah and said, "You got it babe. I love you, only you."
Noah told Luke about the get together at Chad's as his hand trailed lower down to the small of Luke's back... to his ass and cupped it.
"Oh, and Saturday night we are meeting Bryan and Chad at the Lakeview before we go out dancing. To top it off, Terry wants to use our place next weekend for a surprise birthday party for Josh. I know it's a lot to digest right now, so I'll let you think about it."
Luke nodded and replied, "There's nothing to think about. It sounds like fun. So Chad's 'out' now huh? How does that make you feel?"
"Fine, why. How should it make me feel?" Noah asked.
Luke shrugged and said, "He didn't want to 'come out' when you two were dating. I thought you might be upset that he'd do it now for no apparent reason."
"No. I mean.. a little, but not anymore. I'm happy for him. Hopefully Bryan is a nice guy."
"I don't doubt that he is. Chad and you dated for a long time. He must have excellent taste in men." Luke smiled and met Noah's supple lips.
Noah pulled his head back and said, "One more thing. I have to pick up Josh and Terry tomorrow before class. You wanna come too?" Noah asked as he kissed the top of Luke's head and continued to rub his ass.
"Ummm..." Luke wavered. He wanted to go just to be with Noah, but he didn't want feed into his own fear.
Noah said softly, "Luke...I went on your laptop when I got home tonight, I know you've been looking up post traumatic stress disorder."
"You've been spying on me? Luke slapped Noah's chest playfully to hide the humiliation he felt.
"No. I legitimately went online to look something up and I noticed it was bookmarked. I read all the articles and it kinda resembles what I've observed when we part ways. Your fear, when you're feeling bad or ill, the stress... everything that you're going through."
Luke blushed and said nothing.
Noah reached into the back of Luke's pants and caressed his smooth bottom as he said, "Luke, do you agree with me or do you think it's something else altogether?"
Luke hated the transparency of his emotions. He had the same ideas about what was wrong with him and now it had been exposed. He rested his chin on Noah's shoulder and stated, "No, I'm pretty sure that's what it is. I'm having really bad panic attacks. I'll get over it."
Luke felt better that he told Noah, but he wondered if Noah would still love him after finding he was having psychological problems. He felt an attack coming on and tensed up.
Noah felt Luke's body get tense and his mood begin to change. Luke walked away, taking his body heat with him. Noah felt chilled.
"If I stay here while you go pick up Terry and Josh, it might help me overcome my fear of being alone. Don't you think?" Luke questioned. he didn't want Noah to know just how debilitating his anxiousness had become. 'What the fuck. Noah has to know how bad I am. He's not blind or stupid. He knows I've been trying to treat myself with drugs... or herbs as Toke would call it.'
Noah blinked several times as he stared at Luke's lips and chin. "Whatever you want. You know your body."
"So do you babe... like the back of your hand." Luke walked back to Noah and slowly unbuttoned his shirt. He planted kisses all over Noah's chest.
Noah sighed feeling content. He asked, "So, do you want to ask Toke and his girlfriend to Chad's party.. only if they can dress normal though. I'm sure Chad won't mind two more bodies."
"Really Noah? You really want to get to know him? You don't know how happy that makes me!"
Luke's silly grin made Noah laugh.
Luke hugged Noah and kissed his throat.
Noah cradled Luke's face and replied, "On one other condition. Toke, his girlfriend and you are not high. I won't put up with that shit. I mean it. If one strand of hair on your head smells like pot I'm done with you. I'm not enabling this idiotic behavior."
"Okay Noah. I'm gonna go call Toke after I'm done typing what I have so far. Thanks, I know you'll like him." Luke kissed Noah's lips.
Later, Luke crawled into bed with Noah. He kissed him and said with exuberance, "Toke told me they'd come and shake up the frat house. He promised no dope too. See I told you he's not way out there. He's actually very smart."
Noah smirked as he held Luke in his arms. "Well if he's so smart, why does he smoke pot? Just think how smart he would have been if he hadn't killed all those brain cells."
Luke laughed as his fingers played in the hair on the top of Noah's head. "You and I could give him a run for his money with all the beer we've drank. Me anyway.. before I was of age too."
"I knew it, you are a little hellion." Noah grinned.
"You're little hellion. 'Nite babe." Luke smiled at him.
"Night sweet cheeks." Noah squeezed his butt and closed his eyes.
Luke laid in bed waiting for the lure of sleep, fearing tomorrow wasn't going to be okay. He could still change his mind about going with Noah to get Josh and terry, but he wanted to test himself. He needed to get over these panic attacks already.
'I used to think Noah and I were perfect together. I wish that feeling had been never-ending, but I've changed and it feels like those days are gone forever.'