To clear up some questions and concerns on the last chapter, Sirius does love Lily but he would never romantically pursue her. Lily will be with James and only James. End of story. There will be no messy affairs in this fic. And even Sirius did fancy her, he would go his entire life without telling either of them, because that's just the kind of man he is. Anyway, it will never happen, so never fear. Or if you like that sort of thing, don't get your hopes up.
Chapter 36: The Last Midnight
"We have to tell him," Lily said after James had related the encounter with the three headed dog.
"And say what? 'I was just having a chat with Fluffy the other day and he told me the strangest thing...'"
"Come off it. We can't not tell him. He has to know. We could be putting him in danger by keeping him in ignorance."
"We can have talk with Hagrid, tell him we suspect. Put it out there as a theory and have him take the necessary precautions. It's not the ideal plan, but it's the only option we have."
"And Dumbledore?"
"We can let Hagrid tell Dumbledore. Perhaps the headmaster can tell him what to do."
Madame Pomfrey felt slightly awkward as she 'knocked' at the curtain surrounding James's bed. No sound had come from it for nearly an hour and she assumed that they had put a silencing charm around it to ensure the privacy upon which she would now be intruding.
"Time to eat Potter, you need nourishment."
James looked at the plate Madame Pomfrey offered and wrinkled his nose in distaste. He took a tentative bite and thought Lily had described hospital food quite accurately when she compared it to Hippogriff droppings.
"Better run along to Charms, Evans," James said looking at his watch. Lunch time was ending now and lessons would begin soon. "Make sure to stop in the kitchens during your off to grab a bite." He hoped she would understand this to mean to bring him some edible food too.
Having reassured herself that he was alright, she left for Charms. She really shouldn't miss anymore classes. She had been missing so many these past few weeks.
Sirius was coming down the staircase just as she was ascending. James didn't have a class after lunch so she should have assumed Sirius would come to visit.
Sirius changed directions to walk with her to class. "How's the beau doing?" he asked, trying to mask his concern with a playful jab at her feelings. Lily ignored, or rather confirmed Sirius's brazen remark by replying.
"He's awake, doing well. I think he'd like to see you."
Sirius's face broke out into a relieved grin. "Thank Merlin for that. I don't know how much he told you, but it wasn't his fault Fluffy attacked. They were getting on rather well until he changed back into a human to pull out his wand. I think Fluffy must have mistaken him for a Death Eater. Hagrid is the only 'man' he really sees, it would have been natural for him to see a normal sized person in black robes and make the wrong conclusion. I don't think he trusts people... I sensed that much, you know, dog to dog."
"He told me; but thank you, Sirius." Lily was glad that Sirius had gone with him and had the sense enough to do what was needed. As James had said, they had been discussing what happened (even though it would be slightly wrong to call it discussing. Animal communication is so much different than human speech there are no real words to describe the process) when a shriek in the distance made him transform back into a human to grab his wand. Since Hagrid didn't use a wand (pink umbrellas didn't count) Fluffy associated it and the black robes with the only other humans he had encountered in the forest. Death Eaters. Knowing that Death eaters had hurt Hagrid Fluffy didn't exactly take to James's human form kindly. 'Torn to shreds' had been Sirius's dramatic interpretation. In reality, Fluffy had taken a (rather catlike) swipe, making several long gashes across his body as he was knocked to the other side of the clearing. Sirius had ran to James who was by now out of Fluffy's reach, transformed back, and took James immediately to the Hospital Wing. Lily had asked why hadn't they just remained at that safe distance the entire time, but James had replied that it was too far away for an exchange like that... like trying to shout at one another on opposite sides of a Quidditch pitch. It might with great effort be done, but it wasn't the best way. It was lucky that Fluffy was still a 'puppy'. Full grown, that blow could have meant a very sudden and very painful death. Instead it was just a very sudden and very painful injury.
"So what happens now?" Sirius asked.
"Immediately? I go to class. But we decided that a nice conversation with Hagrid will be the order of this evening. James can tell you more, I really have to go." They were lingering outside the door to the charms classroom. A few other late students hurried in (but not before stopping to stare at the pair of them, hoping to see who knows what.)
"Alright then. Kitchens this evening for dinner?" Sirius asked not waiting for their audience to leave. Lily gave the pair of girls a 'do you mind?' look and they scuttled into the classroom.
"I'll see you there," she answered before following suite.
x
"Alright there, Prongs?" Sirius asked casually after entering the Hospital Wing minutes later.
"In the pink, Padfoot! Never felt better, save a slight case of halitosis from this dung I'm being force fed."
"Excellent, excellent."
"How was class?"
"Outstanding as was to be expected. Did you discuss the lecture with Lily beforehand or is she just intuitive by nature?"
"I told her the topic, nothing more. Why, did she show you up?"
"She wasn't in class, mate. It was Ferris, Rupert Ferris who did the talking. He confessed after class that she had explained it to him the night before."
"She wasn't in class?"
"She didn't make it passed the doorway. She saw me, heard me explaining to the class you were in the Hospital Wing, and marched right back out again.
"When I woke she said she hadn't been there long." James had thought she had just stopped in during lunch.
"4 hours isn't thatlong, is it?" said Sirius as he inspected his nails tactfully, giving his friend a moment to hide the smile that automatically appeared on his face. When Sirius looked up a moment later James had his stupid grin mostly under control.
"And speaking of your better half, how are things going?" James shot Sirius a minor glare but answered anyway, choosing not to argue with the 'better half' comment.
"She yelled at me," he said. 'Come on girl, work with me a little,' thought Sirius. She wasn't supposed to yell at him she was supposed to be all teary eyed and concerned like she had with him in the hallway. That would have certainly moved Prongs to action. Apparently Evans wasn't a romantic, but his friend still seemed pleased at the memory. Sirius gave a mental shrug. 'Whatever boils his potion,' he thought.
James gave Sirius a rundown over the past week, seeing as how he hadn't mirrored. Strange, that. James had always been quick to pick up the mirror to discuss anything remotely problematic. In the past James would have mirrored right away after that terrible class with the Prophet and the boggarts, but he hadn't. He had talked to Lily instead. The thought was both cheering and disheartening.
"Pity Fluffy couldn't possibly have known their names. You know I think Hagrid's right about him, really a sweet tempered thing once you get to know him. I mean, he did protect Hagrid from those Death Eaters."
"Oh yes, a veritable cuddle bunny," said James gingerly feeling his side. "But I must say he makes one bloody good guard dog."
x
Lily was in the kitchens after Charms, trying to choose which of James's favourite food would be the easiest to smuggle into the hospital wing. She nibbled on a chicken leg as she waited for his food to be prepared, then discarded the moment James's food was ready. She wanted to get it to him as soon as possible and her mother had taught her not to walk and eat at the same time (for only animals graze). A silly old fashioned rule, but like many rules when ingrained into one when too young to protest, it had stuck.
"Oh, Miss Evans I'm glad you are here," said Madame Pomfrey the moment Lily entered the Hospital Wing (with a small basket of food concealed behind her back.) "I need to run to the greenhouses to have a quick word with Professor Sprout. Would you mind the Wing while I'm gone? It shouldn't be long."
"Certainly."
"If anything too serious arises you know where to find me," she said as she hurried out the door.
"Well that was lucky. Now you don't have to worry about sneaking bites while her back is turned like I had to," she said producing his lunch.
"Wonderful, excellent, genius girl," said James digging in happily to this miniature banquet of real food.
Lily wondered just how tender his wounds were. She was sorely tempted to give him an 'I'm glad you're not dead' hug, but she didn't want to risk hurting him.
Madame Pomfrey returned later (after the incriminating evidence of outside food had been disposed of) and gave Lily a rundown on how James was to be cared for.
"His bandages ought not come off until Friday at the earliest. Until then they will need to be replaced and rewrapped daily. Make sure to start from the bottom one and work your way up. Here, I'll show you how," said Madame Pomfrey, unbuttoning James's pyjama shirt and making him hold his arms out away from his body like a scarecrow. "What are you grinning about, Potter?" she asked coldly.
"I was just wondering why you are telling herall this instead of me," he remarked amusedly.
"Then I will know it will be done properly. Miss Evans has shown an interest and an aptitude for healing." That and she thought he would be rather reluctant to come back to the hospital wing every time he needed his bandages replaced or rewrapped. She knew he would be more willing to stick with it if Miss Evans were doing it, rather than giving up and tossing them into the bin the next day.
So James sat there, arms out while Madame Pomfrey undressed and redressed his wounds to show Lily, who then tried to copy what she had been taught. He couldn't help but think that while Madame Pomfrey's hands were quicker and more efficient, Lily's were warmer, softer, and gentler. He'd take the latter any day.
x
Lily went to the kitchens for dinner, as she had promised Sirius. He was waiting patiently when she arrived, sipping at a glass of wine.
"There you are, cariad. I was beginning to think I had been stood up."
"No you weren't. You knew I'd come. You were just trying to make me feel guilty for being late."
Sirius let out a bark of laughter. "Can't get anything past you, can I?"
"I should hope not. I don't like the idea at all of being susceptible to the antics of the likes of you." It had the potential to be a cruel appraisal, but the way she had said it made it sound as if were the highest praise. Sirius grinned at the compliment.
"And just what are the likes of me?"
"Ooh... fishing for compliments now are we?"
"Be a dear and humour me."
"You are the type of man whose character is so captivating, looks so entrancing, and charisma so addicting you could, no, would, no, probably does successfully woo any woman he wants."
"Oh, don't stop there, you're doing splendidly," he encouraged.
"Very well, you can control and manipulate just about anyone to do just about anything you want."
"Mmhmm..."
"And that is your truest strength."
"Yes, yes..."
"And your greatest weakness."
"What? Lily you've strayed from the point of the exercise."
"Well it needed to be said. It's much better when you don't charm people into doing what you want, but that they do it out truly wanting to help you."
"What's the difference?"
"Someone who does something just so you will like them isn't a safe a resource as someone who will consistently help you because they care."
"Lots of people care about me. I get letters every week from women declaring their love for me."
"What good is that love to either you or them? If it really is love, which I doubt. It's just an infatuation, an obsession that will soon pass. In a pinch, you'd rather have someone who really cared at your side. Someone you really cared for."
"Merlin Evans you know how to turn a decent conversation soppy in the turn of a phrase. An excellent talent I'm sure, but unnerving for your more sensitive conversational partners like me."
"Forgive me Sirius, shall I tell a lewd joke to make you feel better?"
"No it's alright. Let's just change the topic, shall we?"
"Very well. I got an owl from Moody Saturday."
"And what does ol' Mad Eye have to say?"
"John's trial has been put off indefinitely as has the trial for his parents."
"Good."
"But if their trial is put off who knows how many others' have too."
"What's your point?"
"It's not fair, prisoners being sent to Azkaban without a trial..."
"Who cares? I say let the vermin stew in their own filth."
"You wouldn't be saying that if it were you."
"Well, it isn't me, now is it?
"You selfish brute. Have a care for decency and justice!"
"I can't. It would go against all my principles, given that I had any. Rather, say it would go against all my lack of principles."
"If you didn't have principles then why did you want to be an auror?"
Sirius thought that there was a definite draw back to not being able to get anything past her. "I might have at one time I suppose," he said through gritted teeth.
"If that's the way you feel then I regret inviting you into the order. One unprincipled or weak player could be a dangerous liability for everyone."
"You can be rather infuriating sometimes, you know that?"
"Because I don't always tell you what you want to hear. Why not just admit that you have principles, strong ones, good ones, ones to be proud of? You don't have to be ashamed of them unless you are too cowardly to do anything about them, but we both know that's not the case..." she paused for a moment to look down at her shoes. She seemed embarrassed all of a sudden. Perhaps she felt (rightly) that she had annoyed Sirius with her rant. "But if you do want to continue hiding your goodness, then your secret will be safe with me."
Sirius put a hand on top of her head.
"Deal." Lily looked up at him, causing Sirius's hand to slide forward messing up her way in a cute childish fashion.
"You know what's surprising? I was actually pleased to hear you say that. I know it's silly, but I feel like I have you all to myself in a way."
"Well cariad, in a way you do."
Lily smiled bashfully.
"You are too cute," he drawled, rumpling her hair, messing it up even more. He decided that making the girl blush was good fun. He simply couldn't help but add, "And I'm sure Prongs thinks so too."
Success. Utterly adorable, predictable success. "Sirius, we've been through this..." she said, her cheeks a charming shade of pink.
"So we have, cariad. But things change. Don't deny that you hope they do."
"You've had too much wine," she accused, trying to explain away his brazen statements by drunkenness.
"What? You are allowed to probe and prod my character and make me uncomfortable but you won't let me do the same? Not very sportsmanlike, is it?"
"Just don't say anything like that to James, please?"
"I wouldn't dream of it."
"I'm not joking Sirius, breathe one word and I'll..."
"Yes, yes, alright, fine. Spoil both our fun. You act as if you didn't want to get together with him."
"Sirius!" she said, sounding scandalised.
"What? You wouldn't be the first..."
"I need some more wine," Lily said shaking her head.
"Don't worry, cariad. I'll keep your secret. It's like in a way I have you all to myself..." he said in a musical tone that didn't at all match his usual drawl. Lily knew that that must have been his impersonation of her own voice.
"Sod off, Black," she said forcing herself not to smile.
x
That evening Lily waited at the main doors for Hagrid (she had sent Ebony to him earlier saying that James wouldn't be coming). It took a lot of restraint not to tell him everything right then, but she endured. She would wait for James and tell him at midnight as they had planned. It was no use trying to get James out of the Hospital Wing before Madame Pomfrey went to bed, so midnight was their best option. Although Lily didn't exactly like the idea of James being out of bed when shouldn't be, she knew she had no right to complain, because he would throw it right back in her face if she did.
"So how are the thestrals doing, Hagrid?" she asked trying to make idle conversation.
"Getting better. Most of them are well recovered. But I seem to be missing a few."
"Missing a few?" she asked nervously.
"Yeh, missing four of 'em. Don't know what could have happened to them," said Hagrid, equally worried but for different reasons.
"That's... not good," she said, wishing James was with her now. She took comfort in stroking Mercury's silver coat. Silver. She'd have to let go of him soon, but how could she do that? How could she shove him out into the forest on his own when she knew what evil could befall him there? How could any parent let their child out of their sight in a time like this?
"It's not like 'em to run away, they are very loyal creatures, and Hogwarts is one of the few places they can live safely. Most people don't like them see, don't want 'em around."
Lily forced herself not to say it. She would not say anything.
"I don't mean to change the topic, Hagrid," she lied, for that was precisely what she meant to do. "But how long before we have to let Mercury go?"
"Oh, I suppose he could go now if he wanted."
"Mercury?" she asked, consulting the unicorn himself on what he preferred to do. In reply he simply leapt over the fence of his pen and ran into the forest without a whinny or a throw of his head goodbye. Gone. Lily felt like crying but forbore. She sniffed, keeping the tears firmly in her eyes, not blinking, not allowing them to fall.
Suddenly the unicorn reappeared, jumping right back into his pen. She couldn't help it. Lily blinked in surprise, and consequently squeezed the tears out of her eyes and to let fall down her cheek. She wrapped her arms around him squeezing him tightly. She didn't have to be a doe to understand what he meant. He might leave, but he would come back.
"Alright, boy. I'll come visit you often, but you have to promise me you'll stay safe," she said, knowing that it was an impossible thing to ask of anyone. Mercury shook his head upward and snorted. "I'll be back at midnight," she told him, patting his neck.
Hagrid walked her back to the castle with the assurances he would stay up to meet them later. She said goodbye and went inside, making her way back to the Hospital Wing, wiping away the last of the tears.
"You've been crying," James stated abruptly upon seeing her.
"Well deduced," she said sarcastically. She had meant to have stopped crying before she entered the hospital wing, but she hadn't had the chance to check her face in the mirror. She probably looked ghastly. James looked at the healer and lifted his eyebrows. Madame Pomfrey took that as her cue to exit, so she did.
"What is it?" he said, putting more feeling into his voice this time.
"It's nothing, really."
Potter cleared his throat meaningfully. "I seem to recall you making a promise some nights ago... What did that entail again? The details escape me," he said, clearly indicating that he remembered quite well the details, and that she was flouting her promise. She sighed, defeated and sat down on the bed next to him.
"It will sound so silly now, but tonight is my last night feeding Mercury and for a moment, he I thought he had left and wasn't coming back..." The damned tears were threatening to make a reappearance. "You saw what happened to his parents, James!"
"I know."
Not much else could be said on the subject, and the very little that could wasn't worth saying so she changed the topic.
"Four thestrals have mysteriously gone missing," she said intently.
"Oh great..." James said sounding forlorn. "Tonight is going to go really well..." he said sarcastically.
x
"Hagrid, there was actually something we wanted to discuss with you," James began cautiously.
"What?"
"You know Hagrid, the Dark Lord in continuing to amass his army, and is always looking for powerful and intimidating weapons?" said Lily.
"O'course."
"And magical beasts as well?" added James
"That's why Dumbledore wanted us to warn the centaurs in the forest," he replied nodding.
"Well, what if..." Lily began, but didn't want to be the first one to say it.
"We think that the Dark Lord or his followers have an interest in your... erm... pets."
"Why?"
"We just said. You know who is building an army, with a legion of dark and powerful creatures with which he can frighten, intimidate and coerce. And well, Hagrid you are pretty famous for your assortment of fantastic beasts."
"No, you aren't saying that You-Know-Who is after..."
"That's exactly what we're saying," said Lily. Then, she added softly, almost embarrassed for Hagrid for saying this in front of James, "Don't forget, Hagrid. There are still lots of people out there, death eaters and non death eaters alike, who believe that youwere responsible for that tragedy in your second year. That you own and control a monster that kills muggleborns..." Being both muggleborn herself, and being a friend of Hagrid, this thought made her shake with suppressed rage and wretchedness.
"You think... they may be after me for that?"
"Come on Hagrid, would it be that surprising? Thestrals, Acromantula, Fluffy, Blast Ended Skrewts and countless others! It seems like you have an entire hoard of dark creatures at your disposal. For someone who wants to form a terrifying legion of intimidating beasts, your collection would be very tempting."
"They aren't dark creatures!" he defended.
"Of course we know that, Hagrid, but that's not the point. Surely you must see how attractive you are to the dark lord's purposes. Why he would want you on his side."
"I'll never..."
"We know you'd never go willingly, but there are other ways. Or perhaps he would just leave you and take the animals. Like Fluffy or... or the thestrals..."
Hagrid put together what they were trying to say.
"You think they were actually after Fluffy that night."
"We do," said James firmly.
"And they took the thestrals and are after all the others." Hagrid's voice was deep and set.
"Yes," Lily uttered consolingly.
It was silent for several awkward moments before Hagrid let out a roar of frustration that would have done his full sized relatives justice, and thundered off into the forest alone. Mercury, frightened by the terrifying sound ran away in the opposite direction, both unicorn and giant lost to them in the forest... alone.
Lily stood to go after one of them, she didn't know which, but James put a hand on her shoulder and shook his head.
"But..."she pleaded.
"No... just let him go. He's probably gone off to check on every single creature in the forest."
"But James, that's how he was hurt last time!"
"I don't think anything could stop him now..." James said heavily.
That was not how he wanted their last midnight to go...
Lily stood there, staring into the dark depths of the forest, looking for any sign of silver coat or giant height, but she saw nothing but stillness and silence. Strange for the Dark Forest, it was always moving or making eerie sounds. The quiet disturbed her. Her terrible imagination told her it was because everything had hidden, because they knew something terribly evil was out there.
"Come on," James said putting an arm around her shoulders and steering her away.
They walked that way silently back to the castle and up the steps to Lily's room. James didn't ignite a fire in the fireplace. They simply crossed the common room and entered the other.