A Complete Turnaround

Rated; M
Pairing; HiccupXAstrid
Disclaimer; I do not own anything HTTYD related. Everything belongs to its original creator.

Here For A Reason

=Astrid's POV=

{Friday, March 4, 2022-2 pm}

(Archian Preparatory)

Nothing in my life had been right since my parents died in November. Here I am, almost four months later and nothing has gotten better for me except for the fact I have a job and my old friends back. Sadly, none of that erased the pain of everything I've been through in such a short period. My parents died in an intentional house fire, something that was meant to kill me too, but because I snuck out that night to go to Eret's; I got spared. Not that it mattered because I've been attacked once, almost kidnapped another, and nearly run down in the school parking lot. After my parents died, not only did I lose them but my home, car, people who I thought were my friends, the boyfriend I gave my virginity to, the baby I got pregnant with from said ex-lover; it just feels like no matter what I do, nothing gets better. Sure, there have been some great moments where I could smile, but it doesn't last. In January before the miscarriage happened; I'd contemplated killing myself because I figured no one would care if I lived or died. And things seemed hopeful for a bit after moving into Haddock Manor, but that still didn't change anything. My eighteenth birthday is supposed to be in five days on the 9th of March, and I don't see me making it that far because as it is right now; I'm standing on the roof of the school wondering if I should jump or not.

Today had been positively awful, and I didn't think it mattered if I died anymore. Eret, Nadia, Gruffnut, Camicazi, Ragna, and Thuggory have taken every chance they can to make me feel like I don't belong here anymore. I know Hiccup said to drown them out, but I couldn't, and can't. I just wanted things to be over, so I didn't have to live this way anymore. Everything started this morning when Hiccup and I arrived; he got called away for something and told me to wait by his locker for him since that's where all his friends were and could keep an eye on me. Unfortunately, I had a super bad headache and went to the nurse for aspirin, and that's where it began.

/Flashback; 7:15 am/

"Are you okay, Astrid?" Heather asked.

"Yeah, I just need aspirin or something," I admitted.

"The nurse's office should be open, why not grab one before the first period?" Minden suggested.

"Yeah, I'll do that," I nodded, then moved away from them. "See you later," I added while walking towards the nurse's office.

. . .

Reaching my destination, I messaged Hiccup first to let him know, and then again once I got there. Hiccup said it was okay, just to be safe, and if anything happened to call him. I headed into Mala's office and saw her at the desk.

"Astrid, hello," Mala greeted.

"Hi, Nurse Mala. I-I was just wondering if I could get a couple of aspirin before class," I inquired.

"Sure, sweetie," Mala stood, and went to the cabinet to find the painkillers. After a few moments, she approached me with two pills in a small cup, and then another cup with water. "Here you go," she offered. I took the drink first, then the two aspirins to drink it swallow it together.

"Thank you," I smiled a bit.

"No problem, Astrid. How are you doing lately with everything?" Mala asked.

"I'm…Doing, I guess," I responded. "Still hard," I told her.

"Rome wasn't built in a day, Astrid, and coping with loss doesn't happen that fast either," Mala informed gently. I nodded to her understanding. "You know, you can speak to the school counselor if you need to," she said.

"I-I know, I think I'm alright, though," I said softly.

"Well, I've been worried about you since that day you came here in January with the bleeding," Mala reminded. I tensed a bit; the day I came because of the miscarriage, which I hadn't known that's what it was until Mala said something. "Is that something you're handling okay?"

"It…Was hard to get through those few days, and reminders still get to me a little, but…I guess I'm okay," I said.

"I know miscarriages are hard, Astrid. It's nothing easy for any woman of any age who goes through it. Some find comfort in knowing that maybe, though the pregnancy came early and unplanned, it just wasn't the right time to have a child. And they get the chance again when it is time," Mala smiled to me.

"If that's the case, then yeah; it was time for me…Fresh off a breakup, lost my parents, home…People I thought were my friends," I sighed.

"Keep your chin up, Astrid. Everything that happens, happens for a reason. Please know that no matter how bad it gets; things will turn around and get better," Mala offered.

"Thanks, Nurse Mala; I'll keep that in mind," I replied as I got up and left the room to get to my first class of the day. History now since I got moved into all of Hiccup's classes, so I follow his schedule instead of the one I had at the start of this year. Only three months to go, what more else could go wrong in such a time? At this rate; nothing would surprise me anymore. I texted Hiccup first and told him I was heading to first class and would meet him there. I made sure my phone was on silent, the slipped it into my pocket before walking down the hallway to History.

. . .

{7:24 am}

(History)

I got to History and found Gruffnut there, but not Hiccup. I didn't have any class with anyone else but those two. Twenty seconds before the final 7:30 am bell; Hiccup rushed through the door. Hiccup took his seat and class began. I just hoped that the aspirin Mala gave me would kick in soon because this sucked.

. . .

{10:30 am}

(Physical Education)

I still had a headache and felt worse than when I started my day. It wasn't because of illness, no; it was because Eret, Thuggory, Camicazi, Ragna, Gruffnut, and Nadia were trying to piss me off today. I was sure of it. The girls would shove me around if Hiccup weren't next to me, and the boys were constantly reminding me of things outside of my control. Everywhere I turned, people were talking about me; that I lost my parents, home, money, car…Everything. A lot talked about the fact I was working with Hiccup, that we're suddenly in the same classes, and that I live at Haddock Manor. I tried not to let it get to me, but I couldn't. Their words hurt regardless of how true or untrue the things getting said were. Like every class; ten minutes before the bell that would send us to our next period, we were allowed into the locker rooms to shower and change into our uniforms. As soon as I finished, I prepared to go out and wait for the others.

"So you miscarried Eret's baby?" Ragna said, leaning on the wall near the exit. How did they know about my miscarriage? The only people who knew were Mala…and Hiccup. I know Hiccup wouldn't say anything; he hates the populars. And Mala is bound by student confidentiality.

"You don't know what you're talking about," I retorted.

"Don't fucking lie, bitch," Nadia blocked me from leaving next.

Camicazi walked up, arms folded across her chest. "We heard all about it when you were in the nurse's office," I tensed a little.

"I was in the bathroom when you came in," Ragna stated. "So you were pregnant with my boyfriend's baby, and killed it,"

"I got pregnant long before he was your boyfriend, then again; maybe you are right since he was cheating on me for four months. I didn't do anything to the baby; miscarriage is when the pregnancy ends on its own for numerous reasons that have nothing to do with me," I retorted.

"You were carrying it; that makes it your fault," Camicazi snorted.

"Eret's pretty hurt about it," Nadia mentioned casually.

"Yeah, okay," I rolled my eyes.

"Maybe he didn't want to have the baby with you, but he would have taken custody, and we would have raised him or her," Ragna stated.

"Even if the baby survived; I would never hand such an innocent life to you two," I glared.

"What means would you have to care for a baby? You're homeless, no money, shitty job…" Camicazi informed.

"A judge would rule in favor of the father," Ragna enlightened.

"Well, there is no baby anymore. If you want one so bad; then you let that ass get your pregnant," I huffed, then prepared to leave again.

"Who do you think you are to talk to me that way!?" Ragna pushed me into the wall hard, and I winced.

"I believe I am Astrid Hofferson and have freedom of speech," I snarked back.

"Learn your place, Hofferson; not that the name means anything anymore," Camicazi shoved me again.

"You'll go down just like the rest of them," Nadia smirked. I felt the pain rising when she said that.

"Shut up!" I demanded.

"Awe, does that hurt you? Knowing you're the last Hofferson alive?" Ragna said in a fake sympathetic voice.

"Everyone else is gone, and the line ends with you. Why don't you do everyone a favor and just disappear?" Camicazi said as Nadia held me against the wall, then Ragna punched me in the stomach. I coughed hard and tried to get away.

"There's no point in graduating, Astrid; who will be there to see it happen?" Nadia teased. "No parents. No home. No money. The Haddocks won't let you stay with them forever, and that job will get you nowhere in life except back on the streets," Ragna elbowed me in the face.

"You'll likely die there anyway, so why prolong the inevitable?" Camicazi inquired. "Give up, Astrid. There's nothing left for you in this life," I lowered my head, eyes closed, and feeling utterly defeated. Nadia punched me in the side, and I winced. After five minutes of them beating on me; all I could do was stay on the floor, in a pummeled heap. Why was I still here?

"You don't mean anything to anyone anymore, you dumb bitch," Ragna said, crouching in front of me and lifting my face a little. "Those people aren't your friends; it's just guilt. If they cared, why didn't they step in to help you before we ditched you? Why didn't Hiccup do anything when you lost your parents? Hiccup has everything you did, and more because he's the mayor's son now. He's only helping you because he's carrying the image of a good guy for his dad. It's all for the show. Nobody cares about you; you're just a broke, homeless, orphan who people are taking pity on. Don't ever forget that you have nothing, and you are nothing,"

Ragna, Nadia, and Camicazi left. I didn't move; it hurt too much, and I finally let tears fall. I couldn't do this anymore; I refused to keep trying. I was sick of being bullied by those six assholes. I'm tired of feeling so depressed and alone. The girls were right; I have nothing, and I am nothing. So why should I keep going? No, I am done.

/End Flashback/

I didn't say anything after what happened in the locker room. I picked myself up, splashed my face, looked presentable, and joined the others. I was silent in Algebra and lunch. Since then, I've been on the roof of the academy. Hiccup asked where I was for Science, and I never answered him. I've just been standing up here all this time, contemplating how to end things. I had to do it here; Hiccup wouldn't let me out of his sight at work or home. I just wanted it to be over, something quick and painless. Overdosing might have been the best choice, but I have no access to any of that, so jumping was my only choice. I've been up here since a little before lunch ended. At first, I just sat on the roof crying, but going on 2 pm; I finally got up and stood to stare down at the drop. Archian Preparatory was three stories high, so the fall would kill me for sure. I didn't want to live this life anymore. I closed my eyes.

"Oh, my Gods!" someone yelled.

=Normal POV=

"There's someone up there!" another voice said. Astrid's eyes opened as she looked down seeing people beginning to gather. One of the first people she was able to make out was Adelaide, Snotlout's little sister, who looked terrified at the scene.

"Someone call 911," a teacher demanded. Adelaide whipped out her phone and called her brother.

"Snotlout, Astrid's on the roof of the school!" Adelaide informed him. "I think she's going to jump. A teacher is already calling 911. Call Uncle Stoick and Aunt Valka!" after that; she hung up and stayed put. On the dragon training field, Snotlout lowered his phone.

"Who was that?" Dagur asked.

"Del, she said Astrid's on the roof of the school and thinks she's gonna jump off," Snotlout said quickly. "911 is already being called,"

"Let's go," Minden urged them. Quickly, the friends hurried off, and soon after them was the five popular teenagers wondering what was going in, but they had a pretty decent idea and know wanted to know if Astrid would actually go through with it.

. . .

{2:10 pm}

Hiccup arrived and looked around curiously. "Where is everyone?"

"Astrid!" Hiccup heard his father's voice call when he arrived on the DT field and didn't see his students.

What is going on? Hiccup thought curiously. Why is my dad here?

"Sweetie, don't do this, please!" And that would be his mother's voice.

Why is my mom here?! Hiccup panicked.

"Come on; there's no need to do this, Astrid. Come down, and we can talk," Mr. Throk Wington, the school psychologist, shouted. Hiccup didn't like that at all. What was Astrid doing that had the counselor, and his parents telling her not to do? Whistling for Toothless, the Night Fury bounded over, and Hiccup jumped on his back, heading into the sky from behind the school. Arriving, fear struck him as Hiccup saw Astrid shake her head to the others; then step off the edge, eyes closed.

"Astrid! No!" Hiccup called out. "Go, bud!" he rushed his Night Fury. Astrid began falling as Toothless bounded over the edge and flew straight down in a dive bomb with Hiccup on his back.

"He'll never make it," Heather gasped, covering her mouth.

"Hiccup will be fine; he knows how to fly," Dagur assured. "And something tells me I know exactly what move he'll pull, though, incredibly dangerous..."

"Even if he does; he'll never be able to pull out of a dive that fast," Fishlegs squeaked. The speed at which Toothless diving caused a loud whistle to emit.

"He'll be okay," Stoick told the others.

"Toothless, you know what to do!" Hiccup called. Toothless narrowed his eyes almost and gave a firm nod. Everyone watched in fear as Toothless got closer to Astrid. Many held their breath as they neared the ground. "Close 'em, bud!" Hiccup told his dragon. At the last second; Toothless closed his wings to gain more speed and began falling faster than Astrid did. Hiccup let go of the handles on Toothless's saddle. "Now, Toothless!" and Toothless spread his wings and took a sharp curve to level out and swoop under Astrid as Hiccup caught her in his arms. Almost immediately after the catch in one fluid motion; Toothless sailed inches over the ground but never crashed. Toothless came back around and landed carefully; Hiccup was on his back and Astrid in Hiccup's lap, him holding her with his arms in bridal style.

"Oh, Thank the Gods," Valka breathed with some relief.

"Well done, son," Stoick stated as he and Valka approached. Astrid opened her eyes slowly, looking around and then realizing she had jumped and Hiccup caught her with Toothless. Hiccup climbed off Toothless, then carefully set Astrid down. Hiccup looked anything but happy with her at the moment.

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" Hiccup scolded. Astrid was taken aback by the anger, and oddly enough; she saw Valka, Stoick, Spitelout, Alvin, even the other friends step back a little. Weren't they going to tell Hiccup to stop? Astrid bit her bottom lip nervously. "Answer me, Astrid! What the fuck do you think you were doing trying to kill yourself!"

"I-I just didn't want to be alive anymore…I'm sick of living the way I do every day. No parents, no home, even with a job, no money…I can't deal with the endless bullying…I want to die to get away from the pain I feel day in and day out; there's no end to it, Hiccup…And I don't see a reason to stay. It's like I'm alive but my heart is dead…" Astrid began to cry again. "I don't have anything left, and feel like I'm nothing…"

"You're something alright," Hiccup remarked. "You're a damn idiot if that's what you've chosen to believe about yourself," he added as Astrid looked at him quickly, and in shock. "And you're stupid if you think killing yourself is going to make the pain stop,"

"Hiccup, ease up…That's not going to make her feel any better," Valka tried.

"No. I'm not easing up, Mom. She doesn't need to feel better right now; she needs a wake-up call," Hiccup glared.

"Let him do his thing, Val," Alvin sighed.

"How can you say you have nothing?! And don't even tell me all the things you said before. Yes, you lost your parents and the house you lived in. There are a few legal problems that prevented you from collecting what was in the will for you. But to say you absolutely nothing? You're wrong, Astrid," Hiccup told her.

"How am I wrong…What do I still have?" Astrid sniffled.

"Uh…How about the fact you are still alive?" Hiccup countered. "The fact you have a roof over your head, clothes on your back, food to eat, a bed to sleep in, the air in your lungs, blood in your veins, and a heart that's still beating? All that are things you still have. How can you think the right thing to make the pain stop is for you to die? If you were meant to be dead, Astrid; you would be already!"

Astrid's eyes widened a bit. "What?"

"Your parents weren't killed in an accidental fire, Astrid; they were stuck in that house on purpose. And if you recall; you were supposed to be home that night too. You snuck out to go to a party and didn't share the same unfortunate fate they did. If you had been home; you'd be gone with them. You survived, Astrid. Want another example? How about the night you got attacked in January? Pretty sure if no one had shown up to stop that; the result would have been you getting killed. You survived that. What about nearly getting run down? I stopped that, and I was the farthest person away when it happened. I felt like something wasn't right, so I rushed back. How can you tell me that you want to die when there have been so many instances that you could have been killed and survived!"

"I was being targeted, and got lucky," Astrid said softly.

"Call it coincidence, luck, or whatever you want, Astrid, but the fact doesn't change that if you were meant to be dead; you would be! Taking your own life isn't going to make the pain stop; it's just going to pass it along to the next person," Hiccup told her.

"Like who? I don't have any family left…" Astrid looked down.

"What about my parents? My dad was your father's best friend, and he promised to take care of you if your parents ever died. What about our friends, or did you forget you have those again? They're the ones who look scared after seeing you jump off that roof. They care about you. And what about me, Astrid? I care, and I would be extremely hurt if you were gone. You have so many people who care about you, but you think you have nothing. You have all those things I said before. I lost you once, and I have waited years to have my friend back. You're my best friend-," Toothless snorted and warbled at him. "Oh, excuse me, your majesty. Okay, best human friend. And all the others know it too. No one has ever taken your place. For Odin's sake, Astrid; I JUST GOT YOU BACK. I DO NOT WANT TO LOSE YOU AGAIN!" Hiccup yelled at her.

Astrid's eyes widened again, shocked at Hiccup's confession. Suddenly, she was overcome with guilt for trying to kill herself when she did have so many things still. Maybe it wasn't all of them, like her parents, and old home, but she was still alive and had been spared from dying several times since the death of her parents. And enough people cared for her; Hiccup was an example: being her friendly bodyguard and risking his life for her. Hiccup was entirely right. And here she was trying to kill herself on the grounds she let others get in her head. Gods, she was an idiot. The area was silent, and Astrid only felt stupid and embarrassed. Astrid's eyes watered, tears slipping from them.

"I'm sorry…I-I just didn't know what else to do…" Astrid whimpered as he knees gave out so she could hit them, but Toothless got behind her and made it so she couldn't. And then Toothless did one better by bumping Astrid into Hiccup's arms, which he wrapped around her. Astrid sobbed entirely now, clutching the front of Hiccup's shirt, and hiding her face from view.

"Astrid, I promise you that living your life no matter what good or bad comes is better than having no life at all. We only get this one life; you can't waste it. I know things are hard with your parents gone, and that you lost your home, and things with the will are messed up. But through some of that loss, you have gained too. I know you're upset, and I know you don't know how to handle it, or what to do, but you forget one thing," Hiccup said pulling from the hug and lifting her chin up. "You're not alone; you don't have to deal with this by yourself. You have my parents, our friends…Me even. We will help, but you have to talk to us and say when something is wrong. Remember that, please?" Hiccup said.

"I will…" Astrid managed through her cracked voice.

Hiccup hugged her again, and she returned it. "I lost you once; I can't lose you again, Ast. You mean a lot to me, stupid. Promise me that you will never do something like this again, please?" he pleaded softly in a whisper only she heard.

"I promise," Astrid replied.

"There will always be a reason to keep living. You've survived everything thrown at you, so you are here for a reason. Even if you don't know what reason that is; there is one. Every time that you wake up breathing. Every time you close your eyes. Every day that your heart keeps beating; there's purpose for your life. So don't give up, don't lay down; just hold on, don't quit now. Every breath that you take has meaning; you are here for a reason," Hiccup informed calmly. Astrid only nodded, staying in Hiccup's arms. Hiccup felt a hand on his back as he turned his head slightly to see his father there, just giving an approving smile. Hiccup nodded to him, then Stoick stepped back with his wife.