Chapter: 35

A/N: Thanks to Chyrstis and HunnybadgerV for going over this for me again! Check out their stories if you haven't.

"I want you to make me a list of everything you have to do before you die." I gave Doc Brown a look.

"Isn't that exactly the opposite of what I should be making?" I scratched at the IV in my arm. Damn tape itched like hell.

"If I asked you what you had to live for, what would you tell me?" I had to look away from her knowing gaze.

"Exactly, Angelique. We both know how you feel and this isn't your first time doing this." She motioned to the IV. "We can focus on what you need to do, and when you're done with that list, we'll make another because there will always be something that you have to do."

"What if there's not?" My voice was still rough, my throat still so sore. I wondered if I was going to be left with a scar.

"There is always something, Angelique."

xxx

Lists had always gotten me through the tough times. Up until now there had always been something worth living for. But really, what did I have left? I would never have a family. My only family was a drugged up whore who couldn't tell the difference between reality and hallucinations. I had the Russians after me and the things they would do would be worse than death. Thanks again, Father. After I finished this list, I would be ready. Bridges would be burned and the ashes would scatter.

Having decided to end it, I felt better than I had in years. It was as if a burden had been lifted that I had been carrying for years. No more worries about the future. No more caring what people thought. No more playing nice because I would get in trouble. Just pure me, and no more censor. Which was why I rolled my eyes as Julius continued to lecture me.

"Are you even listening to me?" He finally snapped. He had been going on and on about letting the gang down and responsibility and blah, blah, blah. I had stopped paying attention really. He tried to stare me down but I met his gaze and stood my ground.

"You want the Rollerz and Kings gone, non? Then let me do my job and get out of my way." At my growling tone his look changed, it almost looked like he was proud.

"You think you got this?"

"Oui, I do."

"Don't fuck up playa." He warned me before getting the fuck out of my face. I growled in annoyance as I went back to stock up on supplies for my plan. Bullets, a Shepard since I didn't have my gun, grenades and some satchel charges went into my bag. Oh the plans I had for those. I eyed the RPG launcher, considering taking it but decided it would be too obvious.

"Hey." My body tightened at Troy's voice, anger and tears suddenly fighting to get out. I wanted to scream at him. I wanted to cling to him. I instead kept my back to him as I packed my toys away.

"Hey." I replied back as neutrally as possible. I finished packing up my stuff and slung the pack over my shoulder. He still hadn't said anything and I was actually surprised he was still standing there being so quiet. The smoke should have tipped me off as it looked like he had sucked down three cigarettes in the time it took me to finish up. I looked at him and waited for him to say something but he just stared back at me. I shook my head and went to walk past him, but he grabbed my arm and held on. "What?" I snapped.

"I'm sorry." He said softly. His thumb caressed my arm as he dropped his eyes from mine, that look that I didn't understand in his face again.

"For what?" I shrugged off his hand despite how much I wanted to cling to him. "Not like you led me on or anything." That at least was true. He never promised anything deeper. I was the one that had fallen in love. Guess it was natural since he spent so much time with me, sleeping over all the time, cuddling with me, checking up on me multiple times a day and making sure I was taken care of. Yeah, no way he led me on.

"Fuck, Angel I never-"

"My name is Angelique. Stop calling me by that stupid moniker." I told him in my coldest ice queen voice - perfected in high school. I took no small pleasure at the hurt in his eyes at my tone.

"Can I come over tonight and we'll talk?" He tried again.

"What's the point?" I asked maintaining my tone. Oh he didn't like that tone one bit. I leveled my gaze with his and arched a brow, silently daring him to argue with me.

XXX

Angry blow job. Those were words he never thought would go in a sentence together unless it was about how you weren't getting any because someone was angry at you. He shook out a smoke from his pack and light up after a moment, trying to quell the urge to go and drink. Goddamn that woman was turning him into an alcoholic.

He wasn't sure what was going on anymore between them. One moment she was the ice queen, looking down at him while disdain dripped from every word, her words cutting him deeper than he expected. He just wanted to get her to talk to him, try and sort out this shit between them. He wanted her to listen to him, even if he had no right to talk to her. He wanted her to know he cared about her. Not love caring, not in the way that Johnny insisted he did because if he really loved her he wouldn't have fucked him. You don't fuck around when you love someone. Troy didn't care what type of fucked up relationship Johnny had with Eesh, you just don't. He didn't know how to explain how he felt to her, he couldn't even explain it to himself. He started to try to talk to her but the more he talked the colder her eyes got as she looked down at him, even while being shorter than him.

Shit he wasn't even sure what had happened. One moment she had been giving him that look and had taunted him, saying she'd find someone else more fun to talk to. Expect the way she said talk told him, she didn't mean talk talk. She had thrown it in his face that his talk was pretty boring and that she'd find someone else to talk to like Julio. He had lost it then. Bad enough she insulted his ego but to say that she'd prefer to be with someone else had left him in a rage. He had gripped her neck, pulling her into a rough kiss. Her hands pressing against his chest but not pushing him away as he tried to tell her how he felt through the kiss. That little sigh of hers against his lips that left him rock hard. She had pushed him against the wall, pressing against him, her hands going to his hair as she ground against him, leaving him panting. Pulling away from the kiss, her mouth was at his ear in a flash as sultry whisper of French caressing in a hot angry tone. He needed to get to work on getting himself a dictionary or one of those translation apps or something. The punishing way she returned to his lips had left him stunned, the way she bit at him as her hands trailed down his chest, her fingers working quickly on his belt.

The next time she pulled away from the kiss, her eyes met his as she wrapped her hand around his cock. When he asked what the hell she was doing she had only chuckled and ran her thumb over the head, leaving him breathless. When he grabbed her wrist in a vain attempt to stop her, she nuzzled his neck, her teeth grazing his out of control pulse.

His eyes went wide as she went to her knees in front of him. He should have stopped her but the sight of her like that weakened his will and her hand fluffing him up, made his mind blank. She rolled her eyes up to look at him as she took him into her mouth. She never broke eye contact with him as she licked and sucked him until he was fisting her hair as he came. He was still trying to catch his breath when she stood and leaned into him, her breath tickling his ear.

"And that's how you fuck someone without fucking their feelings too." She drew back, her eyes as dead as he had ever seen then. "Or did I screw it up like you always do?" She asked, giving his cheek a slap before walking out of the room.

"The fuck you doing just standing around? Don't you got shit to do?" Johnny said as he came into the armory breaking him out of his thoughts.

"Yeah, fuck, I was just thinking."

"Yo, you might want to zip up unless you wanna flash the boss." His face turned bright red at Johnny's laughter, and he quickly did.

XXX

Grenades really didn't require much skill, just pull and throw before they go off. Course you could cook them, holding them for a little longer but that seemed stupid and a good way to get killed as much. As I wanted to die, I wasn't going to be stupid about it. Which was why I tossed them as soon as I pulled the pin and was currently stuck behind a car as Rollerz tried to kill me. I was tired of waiting for a lull in the shooting. Fuck it. I pulled the pin and tossed the damn thing without looking.

The blast knocked me over, the smell of burning rubber had me jumping up, bullets be damned as the car the others had hidden behind caught fire. I was grateful I had worn flats today as I ducked behind a building barely getting out of the explosion's path in time. Thank the gods these cookie cutter houses were so close to each other. The last Rollerz was trying to get up when I put him out of my misery via bat to the head as I continued to my target.

Before Lin had died she told me about that Vin Diesel wannabe, beloved nephew of the bank roller, the fucker that killed her and was to blame for my current state. I had a lot of bodies to step over as I neared the house I had tracked him to. Just like the church, it had been easy to find the base since there had been so many blues flying around. I had come in blue at first, planting some satchel charges around before I had attacked head on. Cars that would have bankrupted families were smoking wrecks as I neared the house. I knew wannabe was hurt, the sole hit I got on him had got him in the leg before he ran in the house. I found him hiding in the bathroom of all places, which I would have never looked into but the fucker had an itchy trigger finger and fired before I even passed the door. I counted his shots. One. Two. Three. There was a pause and I could make out the faint sound of a clip sliding out. I charged and kicked him in the face, stealing the gun out of his hand.

"Where's Sharp?" I pressed my gun against his head.

"Fuck you!" He spat blood at me. I slapped him in the face with my gun and while he was dazed I shoved his face in the nearby toilet and proceeded to almost drown him. He was big and the lack of hair made it hard to grasp him but I had leverage and I was beyond pissed.

"Wanna try again?" I snarled lifting him up for a moment. "Or was the answer down there?"

"F-fuck you." I laughed.

"Let's get something straight, you're going to die, how much you suffer beforehand is up to you." I pushed him under the water again. If drowning didn't work, I had other plans that involved an abandoned warehouse and power tools...

XXX

His nephew was late. The little shit should have been here an hour ago. Of course he wasn't picking up his phone. He was about to angrily hang up when he heard ringing coming from the door.

"Young man where-" He trailed off as he opened the door to find a box on his doorstep. The box was bleeding. And ringing. He hung up and the ringing stopped. With shaking hands he opened it.

The police showed up half an hour later as several neighbors called in about screams.