Chapter 36: Mia Culpa
The next few moments had passed in a blur for Jack.
He remembered the acidic taste of vomit in his mouth and the smell of tarmac in his nose. He could hear DI Harris barking into her phone at someone. The world span as he tried to prise himself up from his keeled over position on the ground but a firm pair of hands pushed him down. He could smell flowery perfume and saw wisps of blonde hair in his eye line.
"Just breathe Jack," Nikki soothed him softly
"What's wrong with him?"
"What the hell do you think?" she said angrily "You should never have told him that information just like that. You know he's still recovering from it all,"
"Nikki…" Jack said weakly
"Let's get you inside Jack," Nikki said firmly as she helped him to his feet
Jack stumbled forward blindly, letting Nikki guide him. All he could think about was the information DI Harris had just told him.
The man was dead. He had been found dead in his cell. They suspected suicide. No evidence of foul play. But it didn't matter how. What mattered was that he was dead and so was any hope of justice.
…
"Here Jack," Nikki said passing him the mug "Drink this. It's got sugar in to help with the shock,"
"I'm not in shock," Jack protested weakly but backed down when both Nikki and Clarissa looked at him sceptically.
After DI Harris had dropped that particular bombshell on him, Jack had doubled over outside his flat vomiting and hyperventilating. DI Harris had reluctantly contacted Nikki who had rushed round to Jack's flat to rally round him support. Ignoring DI Harris she had managed to get him back into his flat and contact Clarissa before another panic attack set in.
"How're you feeling?" Clarissa asked softly
"Sick," he said shakily
"DI Harris should have known better than to just drop that news on you," Nikki said crossly "I thought the police were meant to have training in delivering bad news,"
"Well DI Harris isn't exactly the epitome of police procedure is she?" Jack sighed
"We're here for you Jack," Clarissa said gently "Whatever you need from us. If you want to talk or just sit here in silence then that's fine with us," she said and Nikki nodded in agreement
Jack was silent for a moment before he spoke "I should have known he would try something like this,"
"Since when did you develop psychic powers?" Clarissa said sarcastically
"He'd gotten away with five murders before we caught up with him. He'd even made it so that we had little evidence to pin on him,"
"But they could charge him for GBH?" Nikki asked "Maybe he ended his own life because he couldn't face going to prison?"
Jack shook his head "I think he did it as a final insult to the justice system. We still don't know why he committed all those murders, at least not really. I mean Molly had her theories of course but she didn't even know why,"
"What did she tell you?" Clarissa asked. Jack had told her briefly of the conversations he had with Molly whilst captive but she felt Jack had been holding back
"She theorised that he was infatuated with her mother. She felt that he harboured some kind of resentment from being cut off from society. There was a deep anger that Molly described as festering,"
"You think that's why he killed all those people?"
"Molly thought that her dad was onto a new lead about her mother's death. It probably stirred up those old feelings of resentment in him. I don't even think those five men that died were his real target. I think they provided him with a source of amusement but I think his real aim was to get at Molly. After all he set her up to look like the murderer. She was a combination of the thing he loved and hated; her mother and father. "
"Then why not go for her directly?" Clarissa asked
"He liked playing games," Jack said and Nikki shivered as she contemplated this
"I suppose we'll never know," Nikki sighed
"The truth isn't always the answer you're looking for," Jack repeated Molly's words "Even if we knew why he'd done it, it wouldn't make any sense really,"
"Death rarely does," Nikki said with the years of pathology weighing down in her voice
"Who's doing the post-mortem?" Jack asked suddenly
"Me probably," Nikki sighed "Don't worry about that Jack,"
"I just want it to be done well," Jack said "Not that I doubt your abilities," he added when he saw the flicker of hurt on Nikki's face "It might be the only way this case gets any closure,"
"It wasn't your fault Jack," Clarissa said softly
"If anything we're all partly to blame," Nikki said softly "Clarissa and I should have trusted your judgement and DI Harris shouldn't have got so emotionally involved,"
"I should have toed the line with procedure and not gone off on my own,"
"Well that's a first," Clarissa said with a grin "Never thought I'd hear you admit to that. Maybe that bang on the head knocked some sense into you!"
"What I mean is that you can assign responsibility to all of us. Yet none of us are to blame. He killed those people. He is at fault, not you. Not any of us,"
"And Molly?" Jack asked "What about her?"
"From what you told me Jack, she got way out of her depth on this one," Nikki said softly "He played on the death of her mother and manipulated her. He manipulated this investigation from the start,"
"Yet she's the only suspect that remains," Jack said gloomily "Her DNA is on the knives, even she can't prove how it got there. She also knew that he was the killer and didn't go to the police,"
"Because she was scared of getting into more trouble?" Nikki asked "Because of her bad past experiences with her mother?"
"Of course that's the reason why," Jack nodded "But the police won't see it like that,"
"You think they might try and charge Molly?" Clarissa said looking shocked
"Given the track record with this case, I wouldn't put anything past them right now,"
"Let's cross that bridge if and when we get to it," Clarissa said and Nikki nodded in agreement
"Do you want us to stay with you or do you want to come and stay with one of us overnight?" Nikki asked as she recalled the last time Jack was left alone when feeling distressed
She wasn't surprised when he shook his head "I'm fine," he said
"Jack…"
"I'm not going to get drunk if that's what you're worried about," Jack reassured her "I'm trying to get back to work remember? All I'm going to do is watch a dvd then head to bed,"
"Okay," Nikki nodded sounding more reassured "Just call us if you need to,"
"Sure thing my soon to be ex-boss,"
Nikki rolled her eyes "What are you planning on watching?" she asked "Nothing too gory I hope,"
"Just an old favourite," Jack said as he leaned over and rummaged through a stack of dvds on is coffee table. Pulling one out, he passed it to Nikki
"20 greatest MMA knock-outs," she said reading the title out loud "Jack!" Nikki chastised
"It's a great one, I'll lend it to you some time," Jack offered
"I take it back, that bump on your head didn't knock any sense into you at all. You're still the same caveman you ever were,"
Author's Note: Thanks for the Reviews