**********SUICIDE WARNING**********
TPOV:
The party starts at 4 and I'm already exhausted. We've been decorating and cooking all morning. I was hoping this year would be easier since Sara was more than happy to help, but my mom wouldn't let her lift a finger. She tried and tried and tried with no luck. Eventually she went and took a nap and didn't wake up until 20 minutes before people started arriving. When she comes downstairs I walk over to her "Did you enjoy your little nap, Sasa?" I ask, wrapping my arms around her. She leans into me and sighs, "It wasn't long enough. I've been so tired today." Emy walks up to us and says, "You need to eat some more protein." I laugh and Sara says, "thanks grandma." She glares at us and then asks if she can get Sara anything. "Hmmmm...maybe some protein?" Emy rolls her eyes at Sara and walks away. "I sure hope I get some of that protein she has laying around." Sara laughs and Emy walks back with a peanut butter cookie and hands it to Sara, "hurhurhur, very funny Sare." Sara happily shoves it in her mouth after sticking her tongue out at her. The party is pretty boring. We all just stand around chatting about nothing. Finally it wraps up and we all slowly say our goodbyes. Once I shut the door behind Emy (the last guest to leave of course) We all let out a sigh. "I can't believe my mom and dad actually skipped out on this. They always 'honor their obligations'." Oh man I hadn't even noticed their absence. I walk over and hug Sara. "Sorry babe." She shrugs it off and heads back to the kitchen for another cookie. I follow and sit with her at the table, "I shouldn't be sad they didn't show but I can't" she pauses and looks down fumbling with a peanut butter cookie "I can't help itbreaks the cookie in half and sniffles. ." I place my hand on hers and squeeze. She looks up and forces a small smile, shoves the cookie in her mouth, and stands. "Let's just go to bed." We say goodnight to my parents and head up to bed. As soon as my head hits the pillow, I fall asleep.
The next morning I wake up to Sara's ring tone. She groans but doesn't reach for it. Leaning over her, I grab it and look at the caller ID. It's unknown. I answer and am met with a very serious hello. "Um hi, who is this?" They get right to the point, "Tegan? Where's Sara? Her mom was admitted to the hospital last night. She tried to commit suicide."
SPOV:
Tegan shakes me awake. "Sara you need to wake up right now, Your dad just called. Your mom is in the hospital. She tried to commit suicide." My eyes fly open and I sit up really fast "NO!" I scream and rush out of bed "Tegan I need to go see her!" I say. I throw on Tegan's sweatshirt and a random pair of pants, that must be Tegans because they're extremely loose. not caring about it I rush downstairs. Moments later Tegan follows fully dressed, with keys in hand. I eye her up and down she shrugs "I slept naked Sara I wasn't about to go see your mom naked." She sighs. I walk out to the car and get in. Tegan follows and we head off to the hospital.
The car ride happens in a blur, when we arive at hospital they allow Tegan and I to go back. I rush down to the room as Tegan trails behind. When we find the room, I stop. Tegan nearly bumps into me. "Sara?" She asks softly. I just stand there. What am I even going to say to her. I glance back at Tegan then open the door, I step inside "M-mom.." my voice breaks and tears threaten my eyes when I take in her frail, pale, sunken in face. she reaches out for me, I walk closer and grab her hand a shiver runs up my spine due to the chill of her hands. She looks so frail and and faint. Her eyes flutter open and she tries to smile, "My Sarabear." I blink more emotions flooding through me. I smile weakly "Do-do you need anything?" I ask and start rubbing the back of her hand with my other hand, trying to warm it up. She shakes her head slowly closing her eyes. Tegan and I stand there awkwardly not knowing what to do next. Her grip tightens around my hand. Tegan taps my shoulder making me look back, she points to her phone and at the door. I nod and watch her slowly disappear from the room. The room feels so much smaller than it was with her in it. I suddenly feel a pain in my chest and I start to breathe really fast. I place my other hand on my chest and realize I'm having a panic attack. I try to steady my breathing. I can't lose control in front of my mother. Like my many other panic attacks around my mom, I quickly get over it and she doesn't suspect a thing. "Why did you do it mom?" I ask, taking a seat on the bed beside her. Her head turns to face me. She takes a deep breath, "I messed up Sara, I really messed up. My relationship with you is forever ruined.. I never paid attention to you and when I did I only cared about how you made me look." She takes another deep breath then continues, "Sara I'm the reason why you were r-raped. If it wasn't for me forcing you on to him, you- your life wouldn't be so messed up." Her voice goes quiet. "Also, you're father is threatening to divorce me because I ruined your life Sara." A sudden sob rips through my mom and she starts shaking and I can't help but join in with her, her hand cradles my face and wipes away tears, "I'm sorry Sarabear" she chokes out "I'm so so sorry." she cries. I slide onto the bed with her and let her hug me like she used to when I was little and hurt. "Mom..I-I forgive you." I say and squeeze her tightly. We lay there and let the tears fall freely.