Important! While this is based on my life and the events that have taken place involving me, this is a Fanfiction and there will be fiction in the story. Enjoy!

Last time:

"I was selfish, I still am. I asked him to stop going to you all the time and he was upset at first. I told him lies about you. I told him that you would say awful things to me and his hate for you began to build up. I felt bad, but after a while, it was okay. I wanted his attention and with you gone, I got it. I'm so very sorry, Isabella."

"Go away," I whisper, turning over so my back is facing her and curling into a tight ball. She leaves and the door closes with a soft click.

Nobody bothers me for hours. I hear the front door open and close several times, but no-one comes near my room. I am thankful that I am not bothered; I'm in too much pain to talk to anyone right now. Every breath I take feels like my ribs are broken again and every wet thump of my heart is like a stab to the chest. I want it all to stop. My body is aching from last night and my head hurts from the force of my cries. Everything seems to be closing in on me, but running away at the same time. I'm so confused.

What is right and what is wrong? I thought Edward loved me. He told me he did. Was everything a game to him? Did he plan the attack with Rosalie? Did he help her come up with the idea to beat me up then claim I was run over by a car? Is that why he got high that day, to hide the guilt of his plans? Will he go and tell everyone what he did, then have sex with Tanya in the back seat of his new car? After he disinfects himself, of course.

The idea makes my stomach turn and I run to the bathroom, falling to my knees in front of the toilet. My sobs stop momentarily while my body heaves out everything in my stomach. My head spins as I sink to the floor, laying my flushed face against the cool tiles. I meant nothing to him. Nothing!

I don't know when and I don't know how, but I slowly cry myself into exhaustion.

Chapter thirty-four.

Now:

"Isabella, please come out of your room. You need to eat something." I glance towards the door and roll my eyes at my mother on the other side. I don't need to eat. That's what got me in this mess in the first place. If I was like all the other girls at school, I wouldn't have been the first person they thought of when making that dare; the same dare that has shattered my heart into a million pieces.

I know I was the one that gave myself to him, but they had it all planned out months before. They knew when it was going to happen, and who with. They knew before I did that I would give everything to him. God, I am so stupid.

I knew something was up when he started talking to me all of a sudden. Why would anyone want to be my friend and work so hard for it, let alone him? He called me names and ridiculed me for years and I let him in so easily. I know everything is my own fault. I forgave him too easily and quickly. Come to think of it, I deserve what I got.

Thinking back to Christmas, I remember that Grandma Swan offered for me to stay with her. She told me she could help me lose weight and find me a rich man. I doubt the second part would ever happen, but I would love to lose this weight. I know it probably won't ever happen. If it did though, I could come back here and show everyone what I had made of myself.

"Isabella." I sigh and climb off of my bed, going over and unlocking the door. When I open it, my mother sighs in relief. "I worried when you didn't answer me." I nod, looking at the floor.

When Renee and Charlie came home from their evening away, Emmett told them that Edward and I broke up. I don't know what he told them exactly, but I know they aren't aware that I lost my virginity. Renee came up and asked if I was okay, but I shrugged her off by saying it was just some silly thing and it didn't matter anymore.

"Oh, baby." She takes me in her arms and I just stand there. The last time someone touched me was when... I stop that thought. Thinking back on it hurts so badly. I will always remember it and I hate that. I hate how it will always be there in the back of my mind.

"I'm fine, Mom." I shrug out of her grasp and shut my door before going downstairs. In the kitchen, Emmett, Charlie, and Rosalie are sitting around the table, eating the food my mom prepared. I sit down and pull my too long sleeves up so I can get my hands free. Rosalie and Emmett glance at each other before looking at me and I want to tell them to take a picture. Why does it matter if I'm wearing a sweatshirt Edward left here? I hate him right now, but I don't want to let him go completely just yet.

I don't really eat; just move my food around my plate. My appetite has been practically non-existent this past week. Yes, it's been a full week. Every morning, I look out my window and see him sitting in his car at the end of my driveway. It isn't his new car; I have yet to see it. And every morning, I walk past his car like it isn't there. I hear him calling my name, but I turn up my music and walk faster. It hurts so much and I end up crying in the girls' bathroom before first period.

I just can't understand what he wants. He got what he needed to get the car he so desperately wanted. I gave him my heart, my body, my virginity. I don't have anything else left to give.

"That Cullen boy is sitting outside in his car," Charlie huffs and everyone looks at me. "Again," he finishes. I don't look up; I just watch my fork scraping across my plate.

"Isabella, your father is talking to you," Renee scolds and I look up at her. I know how pathetic I look.

"What do you want me to do?" I choke out, my voice being used for the first time all day. "He isn't my problem anymore." I swallow hard and put my fork down.

"I want to go to Grandma Swan's," I whisper and everyone stops eating to look at me.

"What? Why?" my mother gasps and I swallow the lump in my throat.

"She said she could help me and I want to go. I just..." I take a deep breath, blinking back tears. "I just can't be here anymore." It's deadly silent in the room until Charlie gets up, scraping his chair across the floor. I wince at the high pitched sound and watch as he leaves the room, and then the house.

Rosalie and Emmett are the next to leave. He takes her hand and they go up the stairs, to his bedroom I guess. Renee stands, but she doesn't leave the room. Instead, she starts collecting everyone's abandoned plates, taking them to the sink to wash.

If I had known it would upset everyone so much, I wouldn't have said I wanted to leave. I am so selfish. Charlie has just left and Emmett doesn't want to be in the same room as me. Renee is distracting herself so she doesn't have to talk to me, and I just sit here pathetically. They may seem like they don't want me to leave, but they would be so much happier without me here. They could get on with their lives without me here, mourning over something as stupid as my heart.

The front door bangs open and I jump, looking up at the noise. Charlie storms into the house; his face red and veins sticking out on his forehead. His hand is wrapped around Edward's collar as he drags him towards the kitchen. For the first time in what feels like forever, I see Edward.

His perfect hair is a complete mess, and not in its usual sexy way. His jaw is covered in heavy stubble, and his clothes are dirty. His cheeks are pale, and his green eyes are red rimmed and filled with tears. He looks awful.

Charlie throws him onto the floor just in front of me and I stand up, asking Charlie what his problem is.

"You tell me, boy! You tell me what you've done to make my girl want to leave!" Charlie yells and Edward looks up at me, complete sadness covering all of his features.

"You're leaving?" His voice is thick as tears spill down his cheeks. I don't answer him. I sit back down and play with my hands in my lap, letting my hair fall around my face so he can't see me.

"Charles Swan, what do you think you are doing?" my mother shrieks, as if just registering what is going on around her.

"I want to know what that boy did to make my daughter want to leave home!" He jabs a finger towards Edward, making him flinch. The room grows silent; no-one knows what to say to make this situation any better.

I want to run up to my room, away from him. My chest hurts, almost like I can't breathe. I know he's looking at me. I know he can finally see me for the fat, pathetic girl I really am. I'll bet he's regretting ever touching me right now. I hope he can see the hurt he's inflicted on me and I hope he's hurting because of it. He's probably not. He knew what he was doing when he agreed to the bet. My feelings mean nothing to him.

"Bella." I hear him whisper and I clench my eyes tight shut. Tears build up behind my lids, but I won't let them spill. I have cried far too much because of him and I won't do it anymore. My mom and dad slowly shuffle out of the room and I couldn't hate them more than this moment. Why are they leaving? Charlie dragged him in here, so he should have to deal with him. I don't want him anywhere near me.

I glance up at him and curse silently as my hair falls, showing him my face. I look at the floor by my feet and I can see him standing up. He doesn't move closer to me, but just stands awkwardly. I take a deep breath and look up at his face. What I see shatters any remaining pieces of my heart.

"Please, Bella. Let me talk to you." I see the tears swimming in his eyes and my stomach drops. I don't want to talk to him, but I know I have to if he is ever going to leave me alone again. I stand up from my seat with shaky legs and face him.

Why can't I just go back in time and not let him into my life? I was fine with growing old and being lonely until Edward started being nice to me. Like the stupid girl I am, I let him in without much thought and he hurt me. I would rather let Rosalie beat me all day every day than feel this pain. Even the mention of his name now is like a stab to my chest. My already wounded heart is nothing but dust now; I can't take it anymore.

"Why should I, Edward? After everything you have done to me, I forgave you and look what that did. I gave you everything I could and you threw it away for a car!" My voice breaks on the last few words and my legs give out, making me fall to the floor, sobbing into my hands. I gave him everything!

"I didn't want to hurt you. I never meant for it to end like this." I hear him walking closer and I look up, glaring at him. He stops suddenly and sits in a chair, resting his elbows on his knees.

"What did you expect, Edward? What did you think I would feel when I saw you driving around in your new car with your new girl? When you left me after I gave you the one thing I promised myself I would save?"

His face crumbles and his tears fall over the edge, running down his perfect cheeks. I long to reach out and wipe them away, but I stop myself. He can't just cry and everything will be okay. It doesn't work that way.

"I'm messed up, okay? I always have been and I always will be. I didn't think about your feelings at the time; I was high as a kite. I wanted his car so fucking bad. When I first started talking to you, yeah, it was for the bet. But he crashed his car the next week, and I still spoke to you. I got to know you and I wanted to be around you. I wanted to be your friend, Bella, because I care about you."

"Don't call me that," I hiss and he looks startled.

"What?" he chokes out, his voice getting thicker with his tears.

"Don't call me 'Bella'. You don't have the right to call me 'Bella' anymore." He lets out a sob from his throat then and I wipe under my eyes with my thumb.

Getting up from the floor, I grab a glass of water and lean against the counter, looking everywhere but him. I take deep breaths, willing myself to not cry. So, Mike crashed the car and Edward still carried on with the bet. What else did he offer him? I'll bet it was much better than a car. After all, he did spend a lot of time with me; time he could have been spending with Emmett, or Tanya.

"Who sent the DVD?" I ask, my voice gruff from crying.

"Tanya," he croaks out and I nod. Of course it was. Why wouldn't she ruin my whole life? "I am so sorry." I ignore him. "Will you ever forgive me?" I look away and shrug, because really, I don't know.

Yep, lots of hurt in the chapter. I don't really like this chapter, so I'm sorry if you don't either. One chapter and an Epi left I'm afraid.

I have written the last chapter (the next one) and the Epi and I would really love it if we got to 650 reviews by the time this story is over. Yes, high expectations, but it would make my day if we could.

Thank you for reading and please review.

Thanks, RuthPerk.

Twi-girl09

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