Judgments

Cat's p. o ..v

"So what does this look like?

Jade asked sighing we had been working for hours we were all tired and stressed I could see Jade was running out of strength.

I think it looks like a A+ which I sure do need so thank you ladies

Duvet was giggling at Jade's comments as she replied.

I hope it is Jade I can't afford anything less math is not my strong suit either

I looked over at our project Miss. April wanted us to picture ourselves in five years as struggling artiest 's living on a budget of $500 a month for a year we had to create a day to day spending budget , she also gave us challenges that could arise and how to spend money around these challenges while not going under $100 a month. She was so sweet and she only hit us with Car break downs, buss expense's child care, subway passes, illnesses. Plus our daily struggles rent, food, electric, schooling.

My head is killing me Cat do you have some pain killers?

Sure baby reach over to my nightstand

Duvet you want a ride home?

Jade can borrow momma's car she has her license

Oh no thanks Cat she looks exhausted you two should get some sleep

I'll prob go clubbing

Oh sounds fun

It is ladies you should join us one night

Your so lucky your parents let you out at all hours you have no idea what that would cost me

Jade looked at her swallowing two pills she meant it innocently and I knew the meaning behind it but Duvet didn't know. Her eyebrows raised she glared at Jade .

Lucky you think I'm lucky bitch

My dad's an abusive pig who beat me everyday and called me every name under the sun

He was so ashamed of me that when I was ten he burned my breasts and held my finger under the burner till I cried then he beat me nearly to death. He called me a fag every day in front of his friends and even let them molest me for fun. He said I liked it and I was a queer.

My mom is a coke addict who sells herself for money to buy drugs and booze.

I've been in and out of foster homes since I was ten my aunt the one person who loved me is sick and lost her job so now I'm in a children's home my curfew is 12am on weekends but do you think anyone cares if I stay past it? Do you think they care if I end up slain in the streets?

No Jade no one fucking cares but you wouldn't know about that would you cause you live here in this perfect little Barbie world with all the money anyone could desire and you don't even realize how lucky you are to have two parents that love and protect you.

You act tough but you have no idea what tough really is what it takes to survive in the real world, you have no idea the bitchiness and backstabbing that goes on in a children's home the abuse the older kids give to the younger ones the feelings of being abandoned and worthless. The constant worry about where I will be in another day week year. The staff that turn a blind eye to the b.s that goes down.

Then there's the hypocrisy of the staff who don't give a damn about us but act like they do they monitor everything I do from the time I get up to how long I take in the bathroom to what I wear and what I eat I don't get a private moment ever they record my mood but no one ever asks why I feel the way I feel cause they don't give a damn its all for show all for the books so when they get inspected they can say what an elite program they run.

Still say I'm lucky Jade?

Think about that the next time your eating a hot meal that Mommy made you

Think about luck when your whining over a pair of $1000 shoes daddy won't let you buy

Think about...

Enough already damn I didn't know don't bite my head off I never said I was perfect! You have no idea what my life is really like bitch so do me a favor and shut the f..k up don't judge me I didn't know I said it as an expression not a diss..

Jade was beyond mad she was shaking white faced fists clenched Duvet held up her hands eyes wide.

Whoa sorry I jumped down your throat my bad sometimes I get defensive without thinking

Jade it's been real I'm sorry thanks for the awesome project forget what I said have a great night ladies

I was left pondering so many questions as Jade went to sleep curled up besides me I could feel her body pressed against me her breath on my check the feelings flowing through me were over powering me. Closing my eyes I settled by her she smelled amazing.

Cat come say Good-night your father just got home

Groaning inside I slowly got up so not to wake her she looked so peaceful. Her scent lingered in my nose almost forcing me down.

Cat...