Donatello had been very quiet the past day or two, and Leonardo had spoken to his father and brothers and figured out why. After their afternoon meditation session, he decided to broach the difficult subject. It was just the two of them, sitting on the floor of Leonardo's candle-lit bedroom. Donnie was oozing vulnerability and appeared to be lost in his thoughts. As far as Leonardo was concerned, the timing was perfect.
"So, Michelangelo tells me that you're never leaving the lair again?" Leonardo started.
Donnie blinked owlishly, and then began studying a particularly interesting crack in the wall. "Oh, that. I guess I was being a little silly," he admitted.
"It's not silly," Leonardo soothed. "If it were up to me I'd probably insist on keeping you here, but I think we both know that's not really what you want."
Donnie hummed. "I don't know what I want. Heck, most days I don't even know who I am anymore."
"Believe it or not, I understand what you're going through," Leo admitted. "I've experienced something similar myself… A few times, actually."
Donnie knew that Leo was right. The leader was no stranger to PTSD, and if anyone in the family could relate to Donnie's current struggles, it was him. But it was harder for Donnie to open up to Leo that it was for him to open up to Mikey and Raph. It wasn't that he loved Leo any less; The problem was more that Donnie knew how guilty Leo felt about everything. Talking to him felt like rubbing salt in an open wound, and since Donnie hated discussing his problems to begin with, his instinct was to just keep completely quiet about everything when Leo was around. Clearly, that wasn't what Leo wanted, though. It was obvious that he had been trying to reach out and offer help.
"How did you get through it?" Donatello asked.
"With a lot of help from my loved ones," Leo confessed. "Now listen, I can't pretend to know exactly what's going on in your head, nor can I pretend that I know how to fix everything for you. But, I can tell you that you definitely don't want to be trapped down here forever."
"I don't?" Donatello wondered aloud.
"No," Leo laughed. "You've got to have some sort of life. And, I know firsthand that the longer that you stew in these feelings, the worse they'll get." Leo then grinned mischievously. "So, let's do this now. Let's go out tonight."
Donatello perked up in shock, finally meeting Leo's eyes. "What! Where on earth would we go?"
Leo stood and crossed his arms. "That's the thing, Donnie. You know that Master Splinter had us resume training yesterday. I'd like to take the guys out on patrol, just to get us back in the fresh air, you know?"
Having lost interest in the wall, Donnie began to examine the floor instead. "Yeah," he drawled. Donnie knew that wasn't expected to patrol with them, so he wasn't sure how this related to getting him out of the lair.
"Well," Leo resumed. "I was thinking that if it sounded good to you, maybe we could drop you off at April and Casey's? It would get you out of here, and you'd have a chance to meet Gabrielle. You know that she can't come here, so that means that you have to go there. What do you say?"
Donnie brightened, which came as a surprise even to himself. He'd been wanting to make up for his embarrassing showing the last time he saw April and Casey, and maybe there was something to be said for doing it today and not allowing himself to overthink things. "That is a good idea," Donnie decided. "And, you definitely want to do this tonight?"
"Yup," Leo confirmed. "The sooner the better. We don't want your feet growing roots."
"Hey," Donnie teased. "None of you guys have left either!"
Leo grinned back. "Exactly. Real world here we come."
"Do you guys think it would be weird if I wrote my own theme song?" Michelangelo asked.
Raphael rolled his eyes but decided to play along for a minute. "Yes," he grumbled.
"Yeah, me too," Mikey sighed. "I mean, you would think it would've been done for me by now. Maybe if I wrote the first line or two, someone would get the hint and finish it?"
Raphael was perturbed enough to swing around. "What the shell are you talking about, Mikey?"
"An online contest maybe?"
"You're a ninja! Why do you need a theme song?" Raphael exploded.
"Ninja, Turtle Titan, time traveler, battle nexus champion, all-around cool guy, I wear many hats."
"No one is supposed to know about most of those things," Leo pointed out. "Just like nobody's supposed to know that we're out here, so keep it down."
To say that the turtles' patrol skills were rusty would have been putting it mildly. They were happy to be out of the lair, but it felt weird leaving Donnie behind at April and Casey's apartment. As much as they were excited to have a taste of freedom again, there was a certain sense of guilt about excluding one of their own. It seemed they felt guilty about a lot of things lately.
Leo peered over the edge of the rooftop they had settled on. He wasn't much of a fan of rooftops anymore. Sure, they were great for getting a bird's eye view of the city, but it also made them easier targets. Leo had learned years ago that the men in black sedans had a much harder time identifying and following them when they stuck to the city streets like regular New-Yorkers. Therefore, rooftop patrols had become rare, even before Donnie's return. Tonight was an exception, because they wanted to be able to run free after being cooped up for so long. It was difficult to run on the streets without attracting attention, plus it required wearing clothes, which hindered their movement.
Leo also had a theory that he wanted to test. Before Donnie had returned, the men in black sedans hadn't been shy about shooting at them. If Leo's supposition that the sedans were somehow tied to Donnie's kidnapping was correct, it would be reasonable to expect a change in behavior. In theory, these men would now be looking to get Donnie back. Presumably, the other turtles would be of more use alive then dead, because if they were alive, they could be captured and used as bait. Naturally, Leo wouldn't let that happen, but he was curious to see what would change during the next encounter. Would tranquilizers be used instead of guns? Would they attempt to be stealthier? Was it possible that they would never see or hear from their mysterious enemies again?
That last question was soon answered.
"Hey," Raphael called, "isn't that one of our old friends down there?"
Leo went to join his brother where he was crouched near the ledge. He looked at the car Raph was pointing at and ran through his mental catalogue of license plate numbers. "I think that's one of them," Leo confirmed.
"So, uh, what do we do?" Mikey asked. "It's been a couple of months since we've seen them. Maybe they're not even after us anymore?"
"I highly doubt that, Mikey." Leo said. "Anyway, does that car look empty to you guys?" In an unexpected turn of events, the car was just sitting in a metered space on the road below. It didn't look like anyone was around.
Raph and Mikey took a moment to examine it before agreeing with Leo.
"What next then?" Mikey asked.
"Raph, are you still carrying those tracking devices?" Leo inquired. The turtles' tracking devices used to be cool little gadgets designed by Donatello. Now they simply used mass-produced stick-on units that were designed for absent-minded people, prone to losing their phones and keys. Still, they got the job done.
"Never leave home without them," Raphael confirmed. "You think it's safe to go near that thing, though?"
Leo hesitated. The odds of it being a trap seemed low, and Leo really wanted to know where that car was headed. Hopefully, it was going to land somewhere near the material testing facility that Donnie had escaped from. If Leo could just prove that connection, they would be that much closer to getting some answers. As it stood now, Donatello certainly wasn't providing them with any.
"Sure, I do," Leo decided. "Mikey is the fastest so I want him to plant the device. Raph, you go with him and watch his back. I'm going to stay up here and cover you with the longer-range weapons. How does that sound to everyone?"
"Fine by me," Raph confirmed. He pulled some extra throwing stars out of his belt pocket and gave them to Leo. Out of any of them, Leo had the best long-distance aim.
"Mikey?" Leo checked. "You don't need to do it if you don't want to."
"No, no, I want to. Just, if something happens, promise me you'll finish my theme song."
Raphael pressed a tracking device into Michelangelo's open palm. "We can't finish it if it's not even started," he advised.
"I'll give you the first line," Michelangelo said before setting off at a run. "Nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh MIKEY!"
"That's just the batman theme song, shellhead," Raphael yelled as he began his pursuit.
"Quiet!" Leo hissed at his brothers' retreating forms. "Remember stealth? Be stealthy!" He decided then and there that they were taking the long way back.
Donnie smiled and waved across the coffee table at April and Gabrielle. Gabe responded by tucking her head into April's shoulder. Donatello slumped in discouragement. He expected that the toddler would have a tough time warming up to him, but he'd been there for over an hour and she had yet to acknowledge him at all.
"Don't feel bad," Casey soothed. "She's up pretty late, and she's not used to new people, er, turtles. Your brothers really don't come around all that often, so I'm sure she's just a little weirded-out."
"It's fine," Donatello dismissed. He'd never been the best with kids, but deep down he assumed that his scars weren't doing him any favors, either. He mentally kicked himself for not wearing a sweat-suit. It was just so hard to get clothes over his bulky leg brace and his jagged shell.
"Mommy, can I have a snack?" Gabrielle asked. Donnie jumped in his seat as he was pulled from his unpleasant line of thought.
April frowned. Donnie had been acting like a scared animal all night, and Gabe was getting cranky. "I don't know. It's a little late for a snack," April said. Gabrielle began to fuss.
"Come on," Casey encouraged. "She's up past her bedtime. If a snack will keep her quiet, then I say fine as long as it's healthy."
"Alright," April agreed. "Do you want some raisins?"
"Cookies," Gabrielle argued. She relented when she saw the look on April's face. "Fine, raisins."
Donnie sat up straighter, feeling determined to salvage the remainder of the visit. "Hey, do you guys have any clear soda, like sprite or something?" he asked.
"We don't give her soda, Donnie. She's two," Casey replied.
"It's not for drinking. I just want to show her a trick," Donnie explained.
Casey looked skeptical. "Well then yes, we do have some Sprite."
"Could you pour it into a glass, please?" Donnie requested. "The taller the better."
Casey did as was asked and returned with a small cup of raisins and a glass of soda. Donnie scooched over so that he was next to April and Gabrielle. Gabrielle looked at him suspiciously, but if she wanted her raisins, she had to stop cowering against her mother. She kept a wary eye on the turtle as she started to eat. "Want to see me make a raisin dance?" Donnie invited.
Gabe didn't respond, instead choosing to stare down the turtle. "Well, I would certainly like to see that," April encouraged.
"Here we go then," Donnie smiled. He picked up a half-dozen raisins and dropped them into the soda. They sank, unceremoniously.
Gabrielle was unimpressed. "They fell," she pointed out, to no one in particular.
"Just watch," Donnie instructed. A moment later one of the raisins floated to the top, stayed there for a few seconds, then sunk back down. After it landed, another one followed suit, and then another. Soon all six were bobbing up and down over and over again. "See that?" Donnie grinned. "Dancing raisins."
"Ooooohhh," Casey exclaimed with mock-enthusiasm.
Gabrielle was now watching intently. "I can make them dance too," she boasted. Rather than dropping some more into the soda, she played with a couple like dolls, while she hummed. Donnie smiled at the sheer innocence of it.
"Do you want to know how it works when you do it my way?" Donnie asked. Gabe just shrugged, but at least she was now interacting with him. Donnie picked up a floating raisin and held it in front of her nose. "See how it's all wrinkly? Soda bubbles get trapped in there. When there are enough caught up in the folds to make the raisin float, it goes to the top. Then when it gets to the top, the bubbles start to pop, so the raisin sinks again. But then even more bubbles build up, so it goes back to the top, and on, and on. Pretty cool right?"
Gabrielle actually smiled back, and Donnie's heart lit up. "S'that science?" she asked. "Mommy does science."
"It is," Donnie confirmed. "I do science too."
"That's part of why Uncle Donnie and I were always such good friends," April added.
"I've gotta Don in my name," Gabe responded. Donnie smiled shyly and poked at a floating raisin. "What's on your arm?" the little girl asked, jumping from topic to topic, as children will do. Donnie looked down in confusion. There was nothing on his arm. It took him a minute to realize that she was asking about the scarring from the manacles.
"Gabrielle, we talked about this," April hissed. "You don't make comments about people's bodies. Tell Donnie that you're sorry."
"No, it's okay," Donnie said. "It's just a spot where I got hurt."
"Wanna Band-aid?" Gabe offered.
"It's an old boo-boo," Donnie explained. "It doesn't need a Band-aid."
"Gonna get you a Band-Aid," Gabe insisted, as she hopped off April's lap.
"It's all about Band-Aids with this kid," Casey sighed.
"All kids are like that," April preached.
Gabrielle returned with a little box. "Wanna princess, or a puppy?"
"You can choose," Donnie invited. Unfortunately, he wound up with a horde of princesses displayed on each wrist.
Gabrielle took one too. "We match," she declared proudly.
"Yes, we do," Donnie nodded.
Leo, Raph and Mikey climbed in through April and Casey's window. By now, Gabe had gone to bed, but evidence of her was everywhere, not the least of which were the Band-Aids plastered all over Donnie. Donnie was chatting with his friends in a light-hearted manner, looking far more at ease than during the last visit. April was taking notes, which she immediately put away when she saw the others had returned from patrol.
"Have a good night?" Leo asked.
"Sure did," Donnie smiled. "Maybe there's hope for me after all."
"There's always hope, no matter what," April said wisely.
At that, Donnie was struck by a strong feeling of Deja vu. It wasn't until hours later, when he was laying all alone in bed that he remembered hearing those exact same words spoken by a much older version of April, in a hellish world that he hoped never to see again. As much as he hated being reminded of that place, he couldn't help but feel that it was a good sign. Maybe it was just that the intoxication of slumber setting in, but it felt as though April speaking those words here and now somehow cancelled that alternate reality out. It was a comforting thought, anyway.
As always, thank you very much for your reviews, favorites and follows. They are always much-appreciated. Thanks for reading!