Chapter Thirty-Six: Valentine's Day Dilemma
Disclaimer: I love my laptop and Twilight. But only one is mine. Guess which one.
A/N: CRAP I KNOW... A WHOLE FREAKING MONTH! I'M SO SORRY. But the good news is that I now have a schedule for what homework and assignment work to do for the next 2 weeks.
YOU WILL NEVER HAVE TO WAIT A MONTH FOR ANOTHER UPDATE AGAIN. THE NEXT WILL DEFINITELY BE IN 2 WEEKS TOPS!
I HAVE A PAINT TEXTA PEN. THAT WRITES OUT PAINT ON ANYTHING! SO MARKING MY KNIVES! Haha in my Hospitality Tool Kit... don't worry.
Thank you everyone who reviewed the previous chapter. (In Order): awsometastic twilight jasper, Hawktalon (dot)of (dot) Windclan, AliceC1, klutzygirl34, bbbff1996, twilightgal101, paranoia-takes-its-toll, FabioandRichard4Ever, Jasper Hale x Alice Cullen, Lady Saruman, Kyleena, cullenfan101, jazzie-loves-me-22, princesss-charly, saku-syao-4eva, WittyRaven, briiittx xhc, Fangirl-of-Werewolves, xx-i-luv-edward-4-eva-xx, Jasperismylover, kdscutie, cathyl1226, and abbers102.
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APOV
Today was once again Valentine's Day. I've lived through many of them. The first one Jasper and I celebrated together was quite a long time ago. He gave me a simple bouquet of pink roses. I love the colour pink. It reminds me of the shirt I bought last week that's strapless.
I wonder what Jasper will get me this year? I hope it's that new shiny GPS Navigation system for my yellow Porsche. Well...time to wake up everyone else... wait... just Bella.
"Welcome to Vampire Heaven Bella you have won the right to become a vampire," I shouted into Bella's ear. Edward tutted from the corner of the room. He just loves watching Bella from the corner of rooms. Like you see him at school the cafeteria in a corner watching her eat whatever mystery meat the school is trying to poison their students with that week.
Oh oh last week it was Spam. Such a rip off of ham. Get an original name for your meat!
Bella jumped out of bed when she heard the words become, vampire and Bella together in one sentence.
"Oh yes! I knew this day would come. Sucked in Edward!" Bella screamed at Edward, pointed her index finger at him and blew a raspberry. Edward slit his eyes... at me. Woops.
"Uh Bella. That was just a lie to get you to wake up," I said innocently and put on my cute pout.
"Dang. I was looking forward to it! I blame you Edward," Bella said. YES! I'm out of the bad books.
"Wait. Why am I to blame?' Edward asked. Haha did I start an argument?
"Well.... you won't give me candy!"
"You go mental if I do." Bella stared at Edward even more intensely.
"Fine... have some M&Ms," Edward sighed and retrieved a snack-sized packet from somewhere and handed it to Bella.
"I wub ooh ebwod" Bella said with her mouth full of chocolate. I personally like the crispy M&Ms best. Yes I speak from experience.
Time to interrupt this love fest with an announcement. "Guys, guys, guess what today is?!" I jumped up and down in excitement.
"St Patricks day?" Bella asked.
"Halloween?" Edward asked.
Emmett voiced his answer from downstairs, "Valentine's Day?" W-o-W Emmett guessed right.
"Wow Emmett was actually the only one to guess correctly," I said. The surprise was evident in my voice.
"Oh I know right! I only know because Rose threatened to not play SNAP with me if I forgot," Emmett yelled. Ah... makes perfect sense.
"Man you're whipped!" Edward laughed.
Emmett came running up the stairs, "Says the person who gives candy to his fiancé whenever she asks."
"Oh snap!" I yelled at Emmett's answer. He perked up his head.
"Who's playing snap?" Emmett asked gleefully.
"Twas an expression Emmett. Only you and Rosalie play 'snap'," Bella said. Haha I laugh... it's true.
"Guys guys.... back it up. Today is Valentine's Day. Remember the traditions we have? This year Edward can actually partake in them!" I shouted in delight.
"Oh bite me," Edward retaliated.
Emmett took this as an invitation and bit his arm.
"What the hell Emmett? You almost ripped a chunk off of my arm!" Edward shouted.
"You told me too. And it was ALMOST!"
"Let's just go into the bathroom for a family meeting," I said breaking up the potential fight.
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RPOV
It was almost time for the Valentine's Day game we always play on the internet. It's called the Love Calculator game. Emmett always asks Carlisle to type in weird names of people at Forks High to see what it comes up with. It's highly surprising and amusing though.
I turned off the shower, dried myself and then put on some clothes.
As I came out of our ensuite bathroom I heard a racket coming from the closet. Oh... crap. That's where I hid my Valentine's Day present to Emmett. He better not be snooping around in there for it.
I ran to the closet and threw the door open.
"Drop those or you will never see the sun shining again!" I yelled. Emmett dropped the two boxes and slowly turned around with an evil grin on his face. Luckily the contents of those boxes are not breakable. You learn a few things over the years from being married to Emmett.
"I didn't do it!"
"Excuses excuses. Who did then?!" I asked my husband sarcastically. Let's see who he can blame this time.
"Erh... Hitler!"
Jasper then came barging into the room.
"WHAT?! I thought I had gotten rid of Hitler! Why is he back?" Jasper yelled. Evil, evil, evil Jasper.
"It looks like he came back alive! Maybe he was a vampire. You never know," Emmett suggested to Jasper. They're actually talking about his?
"Oh I do believe that you may possibly be correct on that assumption," Jasper concluded.
Emmett dashed out of the room and then came back a moment later dressed in camouflage clothing. "Shall we go and hunt for the perpetrator?"
"We shall," Jasper said linking hands with Emmett and skipping out of the room.
"And they wonder if I'm gay," I heard Edward mutter from his bedroom.
"Family meeting in the bathroom!" Alice cried. Can we all even fit in there?
"Jolly good!" Carlisle shouted. He's only happy because it's not in the Living Room.
Walking downstairs I began to wonder what Emmett has gotten me for Valentine's Day. I hope it's a deck of cards made out of gold so we can use it for special SNAP celebrations.
I walked into the bathroom only to find Edward and Alice holding down Emmett and Jasper as they bid for freedom.
"Let us go! We need to capture and kill him," Jasper screamed.
"Yeah... kill him again!" Emmett said.
Jasper looked up in thought, "Yeah... AGAIN!"
"Settle down Jazzie. This will only take an hour maybe," Alice whispered to Jasper.
"But... but. Fine!" he huffed. Emmett followed suit.
"Okay as you may know it's Valentine's Day. If you didn't know then what planet have you been on?" Alice asked rhetorically.
"Uranus," Emmett shouted then burst out in laughter.
"Actually Mars is a pretty cool planet," Edward piped up.
"Screw you all. It's time for our annual Love Calculator test. Now remember... it's kinda only fake. So don't take your anger out at my laptop if you get a bad percentage with your significant other," Alice reminded us... mainly because of Jasper last year. (A/N: Okay I actually did type these into a Love Calculator. The link to which one I used is on my profile in my 'Links to Bored of Eternity' section).
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JPOV
Nananananananananananananananana BATMAN! I thought to myself in my head as Alice went upstairs to retrieve her laptop. I need to hunt down Hitler... again.
Today is Valentine's Day. I hope Alice will enjoy the present I got her. Great minds think alike... wait... how does that have anything to do with her liking my present?
I am so confused.
"Do these pants make my butt look big?" Emmett asked no one in particular as we waited.
"Huge!" Bella replied.
"You monster!" Emmett screamed and huddled into a ball.
"I'm not a monster!" Bella cried and then huddled into a ball next to him. Maybe Edward shouldn't have given Bella that small packet of M&Ms.
"Oh great. Two sad cases," Rosalie huffed. Let's make it three.
"Hitler is back," I sobbed and sat on Bella's left.
Edward came and sat down next to me, "I eat trees!" He proceeded to rock back and forth.
"This family is ridiculous!" Rosalie cried and then joined the line of sobbing cases.
Alice came wandering back in, "Oh... PULL YOURSELVES TOGETHER!" she shouted into our ears. Though it only hurt Bella's sensitive ears.
"Ready for our tradition?" Alice shouted.
"READY!" we replied back in unison.
"Alright. Time to log in," Alice said and typed her password onto her laptop at superhuman vampire speed!
"I know you're password now! It's SUPERSTAR," Emmett shouted. (AN: That's my password to log into my school system. I had this convo with one of my readers. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!)
"Ah... gee way to make it known Emmett," Alice said, "Meh everyone knew but you anyway."
Emmett slapped his hand down on the basin of the sink in anger... and broke it. "Gosh darn it."
Esme twitched and silently joined the line next to Rosalie.
"Okay the Love Calculator is up and running. Which couple wants to test their percentage first?"
"Oh oh me me!" Emmett jumped up and down on the floor with his hand up.
"Righto, 'Emmett Cullen' loves 'Rosalie Hale'" Alice spoke while she typed and then pressed 'Calculate!' We hunched over to see their percentage.
"75 percent! YIPPEE! Rose we love each other," Emmett said.
"Well it was better than last year," Rose stated. Oh last year they got like 49. Rose was annoyed at that. Emmett didn't get to play SNAP for 2 months... or get anything else for that matter.
(A/N: THIS WOULD HAVE BEEN UP LIKE 8 HOURS AGO BUT FANFIC WASN'T LETTING ME UPLOAD. IT'S NOW 11PM AND IM ABOUT TO GO TO BED AS ITS SUNDAY NIGHT. I JUST FINISHED WRITING A NARRATIVE FOR ENGLISH SO I CAN'T WRITE CHATPER 7 OF MY OTHER FIC. SORRY!)
"It's hot in here," Bella complained because of 8 people stuffed into one bathroom.
"I know right. It's because of me," Emmett gloated.
"Nah.... it actually is fair hot," Bella shot Emmett down.
"O.o... moving on. 'Edward Cullen' loves 'Bella Swan'."
Edward peered over Alice's head. "81 percent Bella!" he shouted and jumped for joy. It was his first REAL testing. Tanya and him getting 69 percent doesn't count.
"You're a man Eddie!" Emmett shouted. Edward gave Emmett the 'look' that shut Emmett up straight away.
"Yay Edward. I'm so happy too! Can I have some happy congratulation skittles?" Bella pleaded. Haha she knows how to work her man.
"Sure thing love," Edward replied and pulled out a small bag of them from his top hat. Wait... top hat? I bet you Hitler gave it to him. Grrrrrr!
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EmPOV
"WHEN YOU SEE MY FACE HOPE IT GIVES YOU HELL, HOPE IT GIVES YOU HELL!" I shouted out song lyrics. I love the All American Rejects.
"Yeah.. Emmett I do run when i see your face," Bella said from my left. Oh no she did not.
Carlisle and Alice were laughing about Bella's call.
"Stop being mean," I pouted.
"Can't help it," Carlisle giggled. Giggled?
"Dude you giggled!" Jasper laughed.
"Don't call me dude. I need COFFEE!" Big C fled the bathroom.
"Let's see. 'Jasper Hale' loves 'Alice Cullen'. THAT'S ME!" Alice shouted as she typed her own name in.
Jasper was excited, "What did we get?"
"What didn't we get?" Alice said and looked up to Jasper with obvious love in her eyes.
"A freaking room!" Bella cried. So much love between Alice and Jasper. .It.
"We got 94 percent! WOOOOOOH! SAME AS LAST YEAR BABY!" Jasper shouted, lifted Alice off of the floor, Esme grabbed the laptop just in time, and Jasper kissed her.
"Still no empty room in sight," Bella muttered. But we all heard her. I like this chick... she has humour! I wonder how long this will take. Jasper and I need to hunt our prey.
Carlisle came back into the room and took the laptop from Esme. "Alright, now to do Esme and I.
We waited in silence.
"Damn... 17 percent," we heard Carlisle say.
"It's okay. Next year will be our year," Esme comforted Carlisle as he gulped down his coffee.
"Oh oh I know one!"I exclaimed.
"What is it this time?" Edward asked.
"Let's do Mike and Jacob!"Everyone began to laugh. My brilliant ideas and I rock this planet.
Alice took the laptop again and began typing. 'Mike Newton' loves 'Jacob Black'."She pressed enter.
We all waited in silence again.
Alice then began to crack up in hysterics.
"What? What is it?" Edward asked as he walked over to the laptop then he began rolling on the ground in laughter.
"Is that hygienic?" Bella muttered.
"Oh my, they got 98 percent," Esme said while trying her hardest to stifle her giggles. (AN: They actually did get 98 percent).
Emmett Cullen creates laughs again! EXCELLENT.
"Wow this Valentine's Day is exceptionally random," Rose stated. I love my Rosie.
"How about Jacob and Bella?" I suggested. Oooh take that Edward. I could see him stiffen.
"Yes lets," Carlisle said while clapping his hands like a young boy.
Alice typed it in. Edward went over to read it.
"75 percent,' he said in a monotone.
"THERE'S STILL A CHANCE FOR ME YET... MWAHAHA!" we heard a voice yell from outside in the bushes. What?
"That was Jacob," Edward said through his teeth.
"Alright. Each respecting couple should now go somewhere private to exchange gifts," Esme said.
"IT'S TIME!" Jasper shouted and he got up and ran for the front door. "Hitler will not prevail!"
"Hang on Jasper let me grab Barney!" I shouted.
"Oh no you don't Emmett. Your gun is to be kept in the safe," Rose ordered.
"NOOOO!" I shouted and ran after Jasper.
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A/N: Okay good news for you "Love in the Restaurant' readers. I will have Chapter 7 their first date chapter up by sometime this week maybe. I have four assignments due this week so please forgive me.
In Extension English I'm reading "The Strange case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde" and in Advanced English I'm reading "Mao's Last Dancer". Have you guys read any of the two?
Okay Poll Update. It's working again! So please vote if you haven't. Here are the votes:
Vampire Bella: 35
Human Bella: 7
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Preview for Chapter 37: "WHAT? What do you mean by no coffee?!"
Review for Chapter title and EXTENDED preview
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