a.n. Here we go. This is a really important chapter, so hold on tight.
Her Pegship is an awesome human being, and a wonderful beta. Check out her writing here on ffnet, you won't be disappointed.
Disclaimer: I don't own Castle, and the should be obvious to everyone.
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January 5, 2011
Lanie had abandoned her, the little bitch. The woman had made her baby comment and then had skedaddled right out of the room, only sparing time to throw a sassy smirk over her shoulder. Kate was already planning suitable means of revenge that she'd enact just as soon as she could leave her bed.
Kate looked anywhere but at the man who was slowly making his way into her hospital room. Their last encounter had not gone well, and adding in Lanie's comment about future babies, Kate wasn't sure what to expect.
When she finally gathered enough courage to look at Rick, he'd taken a seat in the chair beside her bed. He was grinning at her, which she didn't expect. Why was he grinning?
"Rick, what's funny?"
Rick shook his head but didn't stop grinning at her. "Nothing. So how are you?"
"I'm fine," Kate said automatically. She was quite sick of people asking about how she as feeling. She had been shot – how did people think she was feeling? She hurt all over, her stomach was in almost constant pain from one bullet wound and her right shoulder was completely immobile thanks to another; she was on a diet of liquid foods for the foreseeable future because her stomach couldn't handle anything else, and worse, coffee was not included in those liquids that she was allowed.
And on top of that, her best girlfriend had just made a mess of one of Kate's most important relationships – not that she hadn't done a good job of that herself the day before.
"Of course you are," Rick said, the grin sliding off his face. "Look, Kate, I wanted to apologize about yesterday."
"You want to apologize?"
"Yeah. I was angry and I said things I shouldn't have. I'm just glad that Alex was asleep. If you're really set on going to your dad's cabin for the next few months, we'll go with you."
Kate's eyes widened. "You'll come with me? What about Alex's school, and soccer?"
"His mother was shot," Rick said with a shrug. "I'm pretty sure a leave of absence is in order if that's what you really want for him."
Kate was already shaking her head. "Rick, that's crazy. You were right yesterday. My plan was dumb. I've already talked to my dad. He's going to let me stay with him until I'm back on my feet. Alex can come over to his house as often as he wants, and my Dad said Alex could even stay over every weekend."
"Oh, good. That's good."
"I'm sorry too, you know. I shouldn't have even considered going up to the cabin. It was stupid, and you were right, I was planning on running away. It just seemed easier than staying here and being a terror to everyone I know for the next six months. I'm not the best patient at the best of times, and this has already been bad. I made another nurse cry this morning."
Rick laughed. "Kate, you've got to stop that."
"Well, she shouldn't have been so rough with that damn sponge. She was rubbing my skin off," Kate said snappishly, still miffed at the woman who had surely been giving her first sponge bath. Rick just laughed at her again.
"So," he said, his grin back on his face. "You want to have more of my babies, eh?"
Kate blushed. She had hoped that Rick was going to completely ignore the scene he had walked in on, but apparently, that wasn't going to happen. She said nothing, hoping that Rick would change the subject.
"Shut up," she said eventually. "Lanie doesn't know what she's talking about."
"Oh?"
"Rick..." Kate said warningly.
"What? I mean, I'm not opposed to the idea," Rick said, giving her a smile.
"I know that Lanie shouldn't…wait...what?"
Rick laughed. "I'm not opposed to the idea. I mean not right away, of course. I don't think we're quite there yet, but..."
"But..."
"You said something yesterday when you were talking to Javier. Did you mean it?"
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Rick didn't know where his courage was coming from. He had not planned on talking about their – surprisingly mutual – feelings. He hadn't thought himself ready. But then he'd heard Kate's friend ask about babies, and now here he was, asking Kate if she really loved him.
Just what the hell was he doing? He couldn't do this, not again! Kate Beckett had broken him once, she would do it again. A large part of Rick just knew that Kate would do it again. She'd hurt him and she'd hurt Alex and then there would be nothing left.
But he loved her. For the last few days, that one single fact had settled deep in his heart. He loved Kate Beckett and, truthfully, he probably had loved her since he was fourteen years old, if not longer than that.
And maybe it was okay to give her another chance. She had shown that she had become a better person than the 19-year-old girl who had abandoned her fiance and child. Kate had worked tirelessly for over a year to work herself not only back into their son's life but back into Rick's life as well. Maybe there could be something for them again.
Richard Rodgers had always been a dreamer, an optimist. He always tried to see the best in people, especially those he was closest to. And he always loved with his entire being. It was just who he was. It was the main reason why what Kate had done back in 1999 had been so devastating. To find out that she didn't love him as much as he had loved her had just been the end of his entire world. It was why taking this step seemed so insane. Rick knew that if he did this, he would love her fiercely once again and that she would once again hold the power to completely devastate him. He didn't think he could come back from that heartbreak a second time.
Rick watched as Kate blushed deeper and looked away. His stomach tightened with a burst of nerves. Maybe she hadn't meant it. Maybe she had just been talking about what she had felt for him back when they were together.
Just as he was about to say something to ease the awkward silence that had settled over them, Kate turned towards him with a determined glint in her eyes. "I did."
"Y-you did? You love me?"
Kate nodded. "I do." She looked away for a moment and wiped away a tear. "I think that I always have, really. I mean I had a fierce crush on you when I was like 10 years old. I can remember my mother laughing at me, but then she would sit me down and tell me a story about how you and I might just be meant to be together for the rest of our lives. When I was 14 and you asked me out, I was so happy, and I didn't even blink an eye when you proposed right after we graduated. I wanted to marry you so badly that it didn't matter to me that I'd always planned to wait until later in life to marry." Kate looked away, hiding the tears in her eyes, and then continued, "I'm so sorry that I ruined our chance, Rick, so damn sorry."
She continued to look away as she tried to control her emotions. Kate didn't want to cry in front of him, but she could feel herself losing the battle. She startled a bit when she felt Rick take her hand. He was standing at the side of her bed, smiling softly at her.
"You were such a cute teenager," he told her. "Even when you went through that terrible growth spurt and your legs were so much longer than the rest of you, you were cute. Your dad caught me staring at your butt just before I asked you out that summer, did you know that?"
Kate laughed. "No. Did he get angry?"
"No," Rick said, giving her hand a squeeze. "No, but it was mortifying because he ended up giving me The Talk."
"Oh, I think I know when that happened. You wouldn't look me in the eye for days."
"Well, can you blame me? Your dad put all these images in my mind and then told me that if I was going to be with you I'd have to be responsible and that if I ever hurt you, he'd bury me in his backyard."
Kate laughed again. "Is that what made you ask me out?" She watched as he blushed hard and looked away. He was smiling, though, and his eyes were distant as if he were remembering.
"No. No, what made me finally ask you was...You'll laugh."
"I'm sure I will," Kate said with a giggle.
"Kate..." Rick whined.
"Just tell me...I'm sure it's not that bad."
"Fine. That summer we spent that week apart. You went to that girl's camp up north and I stayed at home working my summer job, remember? Well, when you came home, Robbie Fenwick was out mowing his lawn. He flirted with you when you were unloading your bags."
Kate stared at him wide-eyed. She didn't honestly remember that instance, but Robbie, who had been her next-door neighbor, had always flirted with her. She had thought it flattering at the time. "You asked me out because Robbie Fenwick flirted with me?"
"Yes. I was unspeakably jealous. I almost walked over and punched him in the face, and I would have if your dad hadn't come out of your house and helped you with your bags."
Kate giggled which soon turned into full-blown laughter. She couldn't help it. Rick had never seemed to be the jealous type when they were together, though now that she thought back on it, there were times where he would glare at other boys.
"I told you that you would laugh," Rick said, pouting.
"It's very funny."
"Uh-huh." Rick sighed. "You hurt me, Kate. Honestly, I've never been the same after what you did. I've never moved on. I buried everything and focused on raising Alex and being the best father I could be. I mean I've dated, but only like three times in ten years. No one could ever measure up, because I always compared them to you, to what we had back when we were kids."
Rick looked away. "When you came back into our lives, I accepted it, for Alex. He deserves to know his mother, to have his mom in his life. But I didn't want to trust you. I did everything I could to make sure that if you hurt him, Alex would be okay. I did it for him. And I made a promise to myself that I wouldn't get involved with you again. I kept my distance and didn't even want to be your friend again."
Rick trailed off, hardly noticing the tears that were flowing down his cheeks. "But it happened anyway. Kate, you're my best friend once again. I still have days when I think that you're just going to go off and leave Alex and me again. I think that's why I responded so harshly to your plan to go to your dad's cabin. It felt like you were leaving me again, and that hurt.
"When your dad called me and told me about your shooting, my world stopped. It was then that I realized something." Rick looked down at her and noticed for the first time that she was crying freely. With his free hand, he cupped her cheek, using his thumb to wipe away her tears. "I realized that, despite everything, I'm still so desperately in love with you. It scares me, terrifies me really, but I can't seem to help what I feel."
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She wanted to leap out of her bed and wrap him in a hug, but she couldn't move. The pain in her stomach was tearing through her and her shoulder was killing her, but she didn't care. This beautiful man had just told her everything that she wanted to hear, everything that she feared she would never hear again, and she wanted to hold him.
Since Kate couldn't do what she wanted, she used her good arm to pull him closer. She leaned up and pressed their mouths together in a sloppy kiss. The spark that traveled between them was just like it always had been, and she had missed it so. No other man had ever made her feel like this. They kissed for several moments before Rick pulled away and pressed their foreheads together.
"I love you, Kate."
Kate smiled, tears still running down her cheeks. "I love you too, Ricky."
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a.n.2. Yeah, so that happened. Obviously, not everything that I said was going to happen actually made it into this chapter. Those things are still upcoming. There is still quite a bit more to this story that I want to tell, but we're not too far from the end.
Next chapter, the fallout from this scene happens, Alex and Elizabeth Beckett have a moment, an unwelcome guest makes an appearance, and Kate leaves the hospital.
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