A\N: AAAAAAAAAAAARGH!
I am NOT having a very good day.
I'm not going to go into any details that don't involve the story, but seriously, this has just not been one of my better days.
However, I have had a couple of problems that do involve the story, so I'll talk about them.
The first and most important one is: This chapter doesn't belong here.
This chapter (along with the one coming after it, which I'm not gonna put up till tomorrow cause I'm way too tired to do it now) was written a while ago, and was supposed to come just after "Mastering Minds". However, when I wrote it I was very hyped up and exhausted they way I get, so I wrote a couple more chapters that night (something I was really excited about but conveniently forgot when I went to sleep). The next morning only one chapter was there "Mastering Minds" and me, being the short-circuited fool that I am, figured I had hallucinated writing the other ones (since I couldn't remember what they were about anyway). Turns out one of my "Friends" took them (not saying why) and I only now just got them back. I am unsure whether or not I should just go back and place this over "Mastering Minds" and re-organize all the other chapters, but, since I don't feel like doing that now, I'm just putting it here.
It may still make sense, but it's not supposed to be here.
Needless to say I am not in a very good mood.
Also, people have been leaving reviews on older chapters a lot later, and I have been missing them! I'm sorry to all you guys, but I rarely actually go back and re-read all the reviews again and try to find the new ones. Still, I don't want to seem ungrateful-- You guys are all great, I just don't have the energy to keep up with you...
Anyway, I thought I'd warn you guys ahead of time in case I seemed a little bit angry and straightforward in my responses. It's got absolutely nothing to do with you.
Black Betty - Yep, they're jealous. And I think that the reason Kohaku didn't start freaking out (in my mind anyway) is because a) he has already been not killed by Sesshomaru and b) he's so screwed up right now inside, dealing with all this stuff and not understanding, plus has lived for so long just taking orders... and you might be surprised how much people in depression and trauma quieten down, keeping most of their problems and worries inside as they begin the internal meltdown. Hopefully that won't be Kohaku's fate.
xolovexinuyasha - Yeah, I know that, but still, if you read it really quickly it can be a little confusing.
Also, I don't know about Staind, I've only heard a few of their songs. Sum41's probably my fav band, although, once again, I know absolutely nothing about them really, and like em for the music. That sounded like I'm insulting Staind, but I'm not. I can't think up another way to say it right now though, so... Anyway, I don't think I'm german. The last time I checked I wasn't, anyway. I was bred born and raised in Alberta, Canada and have never been outside this country. I've got some scottish and Irish in me though, and they're not normally known for anything other than their tempers when it comes to emotion, so maybe that would explain it... -- Hope your hand feels better soon!
-RamblingPhilosopher - I've heard some Dashboard Confessional. Not much, but some of their stuff is okay. Anyway, I don't know what Rin will think of this because I haven't thought much of her yet. I can't see that far into the future of this story!
-Wish-full Thinker - Thanks, I'll try to! And I am sooooooooooooooooooooo sorry I haven't been responding to all your other reviews-- I'm afraid I just didn't know they existed and only like just noticed them today. That, again, sounds kinda bad, but it's not supposed to.
-Sexy Kat - Yeah, I love that song. Of course, when I first heard it I thought the lyrics went "when everything's made to be broken, I just want you to know that I am."-- Not that big a mistake, but still enough to draw attention to itself.
-sourapple10000 - Lol. Well, I just had to be sure-- sometimes people have people from the feudal era in the present time in their stories and they don't remember anything or stuff like that and it's really confusing.
-MewMewFireHeart - Hm, yes I can see your dilemma. Whatever happened to freedom of speech? Lol JJ.
Okay, well that's about all I can think to say right now. I think I'll go pound my head against the wall for a little while, so if you'll excuse me...
You always hurt the one you Love
Kikyo paused outside Inuyasha's door and frowned.
Even if she was ningen (at least in original form) she could still sense something wrong, something different in Inuyasha's room.
She cracked the door open and peered around, her eyes landing on the open window and she stared at it angrily. In truth, she had no reason to be suspicious of the window-- the cliff below it was too high for Inuyasha to escape down, and too sheer for another person to climb up, but she didn't like it nonetheless.
Inuyasha complained that it got too stuffy in his room with the window always closed, so she had agreed to let him open it at his will, but now he was shivering slightly in his sleep, the blankets all tangled around his feet.
She quietly moved into the room and went over to the window, latching it, then freezing with her hands on the ledge.
It was faint, but she was certain there was something... not quite demonic, but definitely evil there. She started at the spot on the sill where her hand rested, and then looked back out the window.
She knew she must be seeing, or rather, feeling things, because the barrier she had resurected would not let anything evil through it, and yet... the long she felt it, the longer it seemed not so much evil but... lacking good, which was a muddy distinction even in her own mind.
Shaking her head, she pulled her hand away. 'My worry for Inuyasha is making me paranoid.' She thought slightly bitterly as she glanced over at the hanyou, who still shivered slightly, his hands grasping at the matteress, claws digging slight gashes into it. She wondered if he was dreaming.
Reaching over she pulled the blankets up along Inuyasha's body, then, acting on pure impulse, slipped underneath of them as well, resting her head on Inuyasha's shoulder, and running her hand over his chest.
Inuyasha suddenly snapped to life, shooting up off the bed with a snarl, one clawed hand grabbing her wrist, the other poised, ready to attack, his fangs bared and his eyes tinged slightly with red.
They stared at each other in shock for a moment before it slid away into calm for Kikyo, and fearful confusion for Inuyasha.
'Kikyo.' He said quietly, staring at the Miko in confusion. What was she doing in here? More importantly, why was she in his bed?
'Hello koi.' She said, a small smile gracing her features. 'Did I wake you?'
Inuyasha stared at her uncertainly, his grip on her wrist loosening and then dropping completely as his hand slipped down to rest at his side. 'What are you doing here?' He asked, startled by her presence so close to his own.
'You should not answer a question with a question.' Kikyo chastised gently, added 'I came to see you.' Inuyasha blinked.
'But why?' He asked, completely lost in this conversation. She saw him everyday, did she really have to come to him so late at night... and be so close to him?
'Do I need a reason?' She asked. 'Now you answer my question. Did I wake you, Inuyasha?' The hanyou frowned, then nodded his head, and Kikyo frowned.
'I am sorry, koi. Here,' she said, as she gently applied pressure to the hand resting on his chest, forcing him to lie back on the bed. 'Try and fall asleep again.'
Inuyasha lay there uncomfortably for a moment, before promptly trying to get up again.
'No.' Kikyo said more firmly, as though talking to a misbehaving dog, applying more pressure to his chest. 'Sleep Inuyasha. I will watch over you.'
She didn't know that that was exactly the hanyou's fear.
Taking in a shuddering breath, Inuyasha closed his eyes, trying to ignore the feeling of her icy-dead hands running over him, trying to force back the memories that rose within him. His new mind unconsciously wondered how he ever could have fallen in love with such a possessive, seemingly domineering woman.
He had no answer, and so simply took in another shuddering breath, trying to calm himself enough to sleep, because he knew that was his only escape from the discomfort of this situation.
Kikyo frowned as she felt her hanyou's chest shudder again, and looked up at his face.
His eyes were closed, but his brow was furrowed, as though in concentration, and she could see his eyes moving wildly behind his eyelids.
She sighed, and placed her head back on his chest, feeling him tense as she did so.
Over the past week the hanyou had become more aware of his surroundings, yet, even though Kikyo had not hurt him, had done everything in her power to protect him, he seemed to get more scared and uncomfortable around her with every day that passed.
Sometimes she would look over at him and catch him looking at her, and though he quickly looked away, she saw the anger and hurt clear in his eyes. And it confused her.
Sometimes he simply stared off into space, emotions flickering in and out of his eyes too fast to see, not paying any attention to anything, but seemingly in deep thought. Those were the moments that Kikyo felt most like she had completely lost the old Inuyasha.
The Inuyasha she had known never sat still for so long, staring off into space and just thinking. He was a person of action, and would never have been content to be trapped in a room for days on end, his only contact to the outside world through her and the window. But this one had not complained once.
And it frightened her, because she felt she was loosing him for good.
She felt she was loosing him forever.
And it ached.
She tightened her grip in the hanyou's fire-rat haori, which she had given back to him after some very insistent whining and pleading-- which had shocked her to no end, because Inuyasha had never begged... at least not before.
'I'm not going to let you go, Inuyasha.' She murmured quietly to the sleeping boy under her. 'I promise I'll never let you leave me again.' Her own eyes drifted closed and slowly into sleep that her body no longer required.
And she did not see the tears of pain and fear that began to escape the hanyou's eyes and roll down his cheek.
Because in his heart, he believed her.
And in his heart, he didn't want that.
In his heart, he wanted... Kagome.
A\N: There you go Kagome lovers, you happy now? He doesn't want Kikyo! And why the hell he ever did is one of the world's biggest mysteries!
SPECIAL THANKS TO - All the reviewers mentioned above. Sorry guys, you are great and really deserve more than this from me, but I'm just too tired and pissed off to type out each individual name right now. Gomen!
CMoC - Stay Young - Oasis, How soon is Now? - Love spit Love, What Happens Tomorrow - Duran Duran, I want to Change the World - V6, Still waiting - Sum41 ( -- Don't care how old it is, it's still a good song!), First Time - Finger Eleven, I'm 18 - Creed, When I'm gone - 3 doors down, Stop Crying your Heart out - Oasis and Superman (It's not Easy) - Five for Fighting.
What can I say, I'm in a music-listening mood.
It helps calm me down. o.o