I thought I was dreaming when I felt myself lifted and placed on the bed.

Then I knew I was dreaming when he pulled off my socks. I tried to sit upright as he removed my left sock.

"Aizen-sama," I whispered, certain I was still asleep from the sake. He faced me, slowly pushed me down and removed the remainder of my clothes.

Aizen-sama, let this not be a dream.

But I was thwarted in my wish; he took my clothes along with the piles on the floor and disappeared. I propped myself on my elbow. That had been an apparition. I had been dreaming.

No. No no no... please... this is – no. Not like this. I can't leave Soul Society with this between us. If this is a dream it's... gods...

I curled on my side, trying to breathe, trying to reject the nausea and the depression.

It was all a dream.

Then a hand landed on my shoulder and gently forced my shoulder to the bed. My heart skipped a beat or five – he was still here. The light from the half-moon washed over his expressionless face. He took a warm towel and washed the sweat from my face, my neck, then over my chest and arms. I stopped myself from shuddering. He was so tender, so thorough... was this how he took care of me when I was catatonic?

When it ended he placed the basin on my study table and prepared to leave.

"Don't leave," I blurted, terrified. "Please."

He halted at the threshold of my bedroom. Hastily I scrambled out of bed, almost tripping over my own feet. I went up to him, not daring to touch him, not willing to let this illusion go. He smelled like sun-warmed laundry, like musk and amber blended, like Aizen. The words tumbled clumsily from my mouth. "Don't go. Please, stay. Even for one night, even if it's just a dream I'm having because of the liquor... and anguish... and, and – I don't know – the, the – the despair. Don't leave."

He didn't speak. His regal profile froze in the faint silvery light, like he was a marble statue.

"Say something. Say anything!" I pleaded, then suddenly I was afraid I would drive him away with my insistence. He made to leave and I grabbed at his coat. "Then... then say nothing. Just don't go."

His face betrayed nothing. Then a smile grew on his face and he kissed my knuckles.

When he let go I stumbled backwards. I was mumbling something like a mantra, only I wasn't sure what I was saying. I glanced up and I realized he was disrobing, right before me, and then breathing didn't feel all that important anymore. My mouth went dry; he had done this many times before, and every time it felt like it was the first time.

He raised my face by cupping my chin. Then I almost fainted at the touch of his lips on mine, even as he knelt on the mattress while sitting on my thighs.

I wasn't entirely cognizant of how he had me flat on my back, how he had my wrists locked in his grip; I didn't care. The alcohol raced through my veins – or was that my desire? It didn't matter.

He was claiming me, all of me, again. I fought to have him enter deeper, to have him hurt me just that little bit more so that I knew this wasn't a fevered dream or a delirious hallucination...

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I woke to his heartbeat. It was pleasantly monotonous.

Thump-thump, thump-thump.

A signal that we're alive, that we're here.

Unless it has all been in my head.

He shifted so I rolled to his right. "This is a dream, right?" I asked hesitantly. "It has to be a dream because you hate me and are sending me away from you."

Aizen-sama smiled as I traced his mouth, then abruptly he chomped onto my finger. I jerked the injured digit away, and my eyes widened.

"So is this a dream?" he asked, a hint of mischief about his eyes.

I couldn't breathe. Then I threw myself at him, kissing and grappling and burrowing, trying to meld with the real person in my bed. He laughed shortly and caught me in his strong arms. I pressed my face into his chest, which was salty with sweat.

"You're not angry?"

"I was, but not for long. You meant well, after all." He paused. "I flared up because you brought up some bad associations."

Urahara again. One day I will flay him.

Unwilling to bring up the ex-captain, I asked, "Why are you suddenly sending me so far away for so long?"

He sighed and told me it had been planned for ages.

"Then why didn't you tell me earlier?"

"Because you would then find all sorts of ways to persuade me otherwise. I'm sending you not because I want to, Gin, but because I have to. Tousen can't leave, nor can I. It has to be you."

I pondered over the news. He added, almost conciliatory, "You have many qualities I lack, love. You're far more attuned to people, and you can discern their true nature almost from first contact."

I tingled, but it was as if he hadn't noticed his slip. Before he could realize I said hastily, "So you want me to figure out the reasons for expansion?"

"I need you to examine the leaders, find their strengths and weaknesses," he clarified. "I want you here with me."

"Ten years," I protested weakly. "That's too long."

"Ten years. But we are shinigami. We can make it, love." He patted my head absently. "Your qualities will see you succeed where Tousen and I will fail."

"There's that word again."
"Qualities?"

"Love. You called me 'love', twice. Thrice." I tilted my head back to study him. "Am I? Really?"

He sighed and kissed me. "Don't get too used to it. I won't be saying it again, and definitely not in public."

"As long as you have said it, that's enough." I spoke with certainty. His grip on my shoulder eased and slipped to my waist.

And it is enough. It is privileged knowledge, and I'm privileged to know it.

"And tomorrow I have to leave." I nibbled at his hardened nipple, flicking a tongue across it.

He sounded regretful. "Tomorrow is here, Gin. It's been here for hours."

"How long before we have to go?"

"Hours."

"There's not enough time," I said despairingly. He pulled me to himself. I shut my eyes and cuddled closer to his warmth. I wanted to freeze time, to capture this odd moment of clarity and openness, and to never, never let him go.

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We arrived early at the inter-Society gates.

Shinigami were bunched about; most were awaiting arrivals of their friends from far-off postings. I looked around and saw Ran waiting by the side of Ukitake-taichou. When Aizen-sama addressed us my attention snapped back to him.

"Ono, Ichimaru, be careful out there."

I nodded slightly, while Akagi silently reaffirmed the message with a small smile at Ono.

Oh ho ho... how did we miss this?

"Ono, your reporting officer is uh, Capitaine Jean-Pierre Javert. He's fair, but strict. He'll be giving me a report of you every two months for the three years you are there, and if I get good reports your rank will raise accordingly."

Ono smiled brightly, but perhaps Aizen-sama caught the sheen of tears in her eyes. Aizen-sama patted her shoulder before she lugged her baggage to follow Akagi.

I waited for Aizen-sama to take the lead.

"Ichimaru, your reporting officer is Kapitän Wolfric Hartmann. He's in charge of the penitentiary process in Fegefeuer," he said crisply. "Ten years, Ichimaru. I expect you to keep your original task in mind, and to remember what I taught you."

"Yes, taichou," I replied before I followed him to the counter. Akagi helped me fill in the forms and exchange tokens of authorization. The insignia of the division I was joining was a wolf's head, its fangs bared. I liked it.

Then I smelled citrus perfume. Turning around I saw Ran walking past me, but she didn't acknowledge my presence. She completely ignored my existence. I frowned, puzzled – if she wanted to ignore me why did she walk in this direction?

"Luggage?" the twelfth division member asked. I told him it would be sent on. He hmmmed and then stamped the papers. "Here. Your approval for transfer, temporary.

Ono and I returned to our captain, Akagi trailing behind us.

Aizen-sama addressed us again. "Alright, Ono, be careful out in France. Keep far, far away from the wines so the others keep far, far away from you."

She swallowed. Her hand twitched.

"Ichimaru, I think I've briefed you fully. Any questions?"

"No taichou."

"Good. Let's give them a little privacy." I followed my grinning captain, aware that I was the only one who knew how unstable his reiatsu control was. I caught up with him, using the crowd as cover. Our fingers brushed.

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"There's not enough time," I pleaded. My fingers gripped his shoulders, even as he kissed my cheek. We had a few precious minutes in the division building, and I buried my face in his neck. His scent enveloped me, suffused me; I pulled away and tried to smile. The smile was pathetic.

"Shhh.. Gin, there is always time. We will have the rest of all time," he reassured.

"I don't want to go." It wasn't even a plea, but I felt he had to know.

"You know you have to." He touched my nose.

I nuzzled him. "There's not enough time."

We embraced tightly until we felt Akagi's presence impinge on our senses. Aizen-sama released me. "There will be time. Come. We have to meet Akagi and Ono to sign in before you leave."

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