JPOV

It was almost midnight and I was still in the garage. I did not even notice that the day had darkened into night and that I had been sitting in the dark since Seth had dropped the bomb. As I glanced up and out the window – I saw a clear night sky and stars shining down. Such peace so at odds with war raging inside me.

Bella was back.

Bella was back.

Earlier I had been quiet for a long while after Seth had dropped the bombshell.

"Jake...man…you ok?" Seth had asked me concernedly. "She and Leah…and Embry…they're here for the wedding."

I inclined my head to show him I had heard and I kept my gaze focused on the engine in front of me as if it held the answers to all the questions of the universe.

"You are going, aren't you?" he asked.

"I…uh…I'm not sure." I answered. "Is she alone? Is she even still human? She knows that leeches are still not allowed on the reservation." Even to my ears, my voice sounded harsh and cold. And maybe, all these years, that's all I was – a harsh, cold nothing of a person.

"I honestly don't know Jake." Seth answered earnestly. "My mom and Charlie just told me last night and it blew me away…I mean none of us have actually seen Bella since she left. Charlie visits a lot but he told us Bella wanted him to go alone every time."

I nodded again.

"Please come Jake. Mom really wants you there." Seth asked me, putting a tentative hand on my shoulder. "Maybe it's time you know…to talk to her? You owe her that much."

I refused to answer and Seth eventually left me alone to my thoughts.

Bella was back. And I had less than sixteen hours to decide if and how, to face her again.

Could I face her again after how we had ended? And part of me didn't know what would be worse – to see her cry? To have her berate me? To hear her tell me that she hated me?

Bella once read to me from one of her books that the opposite of love is not hate – and in my mind, the sound of her voice reverberated as if she were right beside me. As in I were still on that beach, on that rare sunny afternoon what now seems like millions of years ago -

"The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference.

The opposite of art is not ugliness, it's indifference.

opposite of faith is not heresy, it's indifference.

And the opposite of life is not death, it's indifference

And finally I understood what she was trying to say to me that day. The worst thing would be to see her happy…to know that Edward had made her happy…and to have her treat me as if nothing had ever happened. To see indifference in her eyes, to see that she had moved on and forgotten those few short months three years ago when for a brief, happy halcyon of a time, I thought that we would share a life together.

I went back to my current project – yes, another old red ford truck – tried to lose myself in work. But memories of soft skin, shining brown eyes and the scent of strawberries and vanilla plagued my mind and shredded a heart I didn't know I still had.

But I would be there. I owed that much to Sue.

And if I were to be honest with myself – I wanted to see her, even from a distance. Even if she did not see me.

Just to give me a few more memories to add to the collection I had in my heart, to savor when I was alone, of the girl I lost and the girl I would love for the rest of my life.

x-x

BPOV

It was good to be home – and for the last three hours, I had watched almost tearfully to see how Sue and Seth doted on Caleb.

Still, while I knew I was being paranoid, I made sure all the windows and blinds were closed all over the house and that Caleb didn't go out at all. I didn't want him to be the object of idle curiosity from Charlie's neighbors….time enough for that tomorrow when we walked down the aisle at the wedding.

Unfortunately, the weather wasn't cooperating as the earlier drizzle that was coming down when we arrived had cleared and the sky was clear so that Caleb kept demanding to be taken outside.

The little one now had a big case of hero worship and I teased Seth that Embry was going to be jealous and beat him up for stealing Caleb away. It made me a little sad to realize that maybe, Caleb was so drawn to Seth and Embry because he had very little male figures in his life. Other than Doctor Jake and my dad's visits, Caleb never really had a father figure to be around all the time. And I knew Caleb needed his father. I didn't know how I was going to do it but

I was compulsively checking to see if all the blinds were shut when I heard a call pull up. Peering out, I saw Embry getting out of his car and a passenger in the front seat.

"Leah!" I shouted up in the direction of the stairs while balancing a squirming Caleb on my hip. "Embry and his mom are here!"

"Caleb sweetie, can you go find Grandpa Charlie and GrammaSue?" I said to Caleb, who with a flash of a smile toddled off to the kitchen obediently. Probably knowing that Sue would give him yet another cookie in exchange for just a kiss.

"Gamma! Gwanpa!" he called out as he toddled off in search of two of his new favorite people.

It was the night before my dad and Sue's wedding and true to his word, dad made sure that tonight's dinner was just for family and the Calls. There were no big homecoming parties. No fanfare and no big announcements. I felt bad about depriving Sue of the traditional bridal showers and pre-wedding parties but she assured me she didn't want them either.

"It's been so long since I had all of you kids together in the same house…I really don't want to share you and Leah with everyone….I'm just so happy to have you all together again…and I'm not ready to share Caleb's hugs yet either!" Sue assured me just a few hours ago when I tried to apologize again as she gave me a quick hug and took a very willing Caleb into her arms. He loved the attention and I guess that while he had Miss Emma and the folks at the Inn, because he was such a sensitive little boy he was starting to be at that age where he needed the warmth of a big family.

Maybe some day…maybe I would find someone…or even just settle for someone in order to give him brothers or sisters…a family.

Deep inside I knew that I would never really love anyone else – not the way I loved Jacob. I think that once you've found that kind of love, a kind of love that makes you better, that fills your entire heart and changes your soul, that you should count yourself lucky.

Despite how it ended, I WAS lucky – I had known something, live a love that most people can only dream of. That most people will never experience. And in the end, I had Caleb and that was enough for me.

Despite how it ended, I would never regret those few short months I had had with Jacob. I always knew that there was a possibility he would imprint. And for all things, a price has to be paid.

And despite how it ended, I had come out of it a stronger person. I knew I could survive anything. That I could be the kind of person who is able to sacrifice their own wants and desires for the happiness of another. And isn't that what real love is? To be able to forego your own needs to make the person you love happy?

I had refused to listen to anyone's explanations about Jacob or what happened to end his marriage with Aliyah. I knew that whatever it had been, that it was not my fault – that I am not the center of the universe and that people ultimately are the only ones who decide what to choose and they are the only ones who are responsible for the consequences.

Miss Emma once reminded me, very early on when I had just returned – pregnant with Caleb and heartbroken over Jacob -that I could never truthfully say "I had no choice." Because the truth is, everyone always has a choice. You may not like the choices – but they are there.

I had made my choices – to love Jacob despite knowing he could imprint, to give my body to him knowing we could create a life together and to keep my baby knowing that I would have to raise him alone.

Leah's steps on the stairs brought me back from my reverie. I looked up and once again was struck how beautiful she was. Leah had always been beautiful – but the past few days, especially seeing her with Embry, there was stillness, a calm to her that wasn't there before. A sense of contentment that transformed her from a beautiful but wounded girl to a beautiful, radiant woman.

Sue still owned her house in La Push, but since Leah and I had left, Sue stayed in Forks with Charlie more and more often. It was mostly Seth who stayed in the La Push house now. So when Leah and I made plans to come home for the wedding, Sue perceptively told us to stay at my Dad's house. She instinctively knew how difficult it would have been for me to be in La Push…to be so close to Jacob.

As she reached the bottom of the stairs, I caught one of Leah's hands and twirled her around. She was in a simple green dress that made the bloom on her cheeks and the shine in her eyes brighten up the room.

"Looking good Clearwater!" I teased "Ready to meet the mother-in-law to be?"

"Aww shut it Swan – don't even go there! Too soon!" she countered with a flush.

"You're blushing Clearwater!" I teased her again.

"B.S. zombie girl! Clearly our long separation has damaged your brain cells!" Leah retorted as she walked toward the door.

As soon as the door opened, Embry engulfed her in a big hug, inhaling deeply as if coming home. And I remembered how Jake used to do the same…

"Hello Bella!" Embry's mom greeted me.

It was with some trepidation that I turned to greet her. I knew she and Embry were related to Aliya and her family. But in fairness to Tiffany Call, she had been one of the few Calls who had stayed out of the whole thing. She had treated me at the time, with same kindness and graciousness she had always treated me from when we were all little kids playing on First Beach.

"Hello Mrs. Call…it's good to see you."

"It's good to see you too Bella!" she said, giving me a quick hug "You look wonderful dear."

"Do you mind putting these in water dear?" Tiffany said holding out a hand with a big bouquet of flowers "Sue told me we weren't allowed to bring shower presen….."

Suddenly, Tiffany froze and the flowers dropped to the floor as her gaze fixed over my shoulder at the open doorway to the living room.

I turned to see Sue and Charlie in the doorway, each holding one of Caleb's hands in theirs.

"Oh my…" Tiffany said. Dropping to her knees to pick up the bouquet.

I motioned Caleb to come over

"Hello…" Caleb smiled

"Hello dear." Tiffany said as she reached out and stroked his cheek. "What's your name?"

"I's Caleb" my baby said, puffing out his little chest.

"I'm Tiffany…Embry's mommy."

"Tha's my mommy!" Caleb replied pointing to me with a smile.

Tiffany looked up at me, a gentle smile on her face. "He is beautiful Bella. He looks just like…"

"Jacob?" I finished, sensing her hesitation.

Sue and Charlie exchanged a look and Charlie cleared his throat.

"We'd appreciate it if you don't tell anyone." He asked Tiffany.

"Of course…I understand" Embry's mom said. "But you know that all they need is one look at him to know…"

"We know that."

"I know that Mrs. Call." I interrupted. "But I want them to find out on my own terms."

Leah and Embry were looking on, still in the foyer.

"Don't worry Bella – my mom, she never really understood or supported what my Uncle Andrew did. I don't even think she's spoken to Aunt Lucia or him since it all happened." Embry interjected.

"Of course I have – I gave them a piece of my mind about all that nasty business they pulled." Mrs. Call retorted "They didn't like it much, but I certainly talked to them."

Embry looked at her with brows raised. "And when did this happen and why didn't I know about it?"

"Oh it was after you and Leah went off to college – I saw Lucia and Andrew at the community center planning Aliyah's grand wedding – and I warned him to enjoy it while it lasted because when you hit 25 you're taking over that Council seat. I am your grandfather's oldest child after all. So that seat passes on to my line not his. The only reason I let Andrew take it was because you were still so young…"

Then Tiffany reach over and took both my hands in hers - "I'm sorry Bella, I should have stood up earlier, should have spoken up for you earlier…but…but I was a coward. It was almost all the same people on the council who gave me hell when I was pregnant with Embry….you are such a brave girl, much braver than me. And I'm so proud of you…"

I embraced her and knew my secret was safe for now. Sue ushered us all to the dining room just as Seth was coming down the stairs.

"You know I'm going to have to kick your ass now Embry…" he grinned.

"You can try Clearwater." Embry retorted.

"Nah….he might get even uglier if you beat him up." Leah teased

"Ha! The ladies loooooove me…." Seth insisted.

"Yeah, the little old ladies at Flo's café!" a laughing Leah joked, trying to ruffle Seth's hair – but since sometime since we had been gone, Seth seemed to have grown three or four inches, he was taller than Leah now and quickly got away.

Dinner was a rousing success. And considering there were only seven of us, disproportionately loud – mostly thanks to Seth and Embry's constant bantering and Leah's good natured taunting of Seth.

"We…uh…have an announcement." Embry said as Sue returned to the table carrying dessert.

"Must be important…never seen you interrupt dessert before." Charlie said gruffly, eyeing the cherry pie Sue carried longingly.

"Shush Charlie!" Sue scolded, hitting his arm as she took her seat.

"Well?"

"Leah and I – you know I'm graduating early and Leah only has her practical training left – so uh…" Embry said, turning all shades of red. He had always been shy, and I grinned as I knew how awkward he must have been feeling being the center of attention.

"We wanted to tell you that Leah and I, we're together now." He finally spit out.

There was a short, screamingly silent moment before the whole table burst out laughing.

"Ok son." Charlie drawled "Now tell us what the news is so we can have dessert…"

"Oh." Leah just gasped, blushing.

"It's ok honey" Sue said, cheekily patting Leah's shoulder. "We all knew when you left for college that it would happen soon, if it hadn't happened already."

"Well...we're moving in together." Leah said petulantly, crossing her arms as if daring anyone to object.

"Son." Charlie said, standing up and moving to stand directly in front of Embry. Embry was, of course, much, much taller than Charlie, but as he was sitting down, he had the full view and benefit of Charlie's serious face (I could tell Dad was trying to look scary – as if he could scare a 6 foot seven werewolf).

"Son, I had a shotgun." Charlie warned "So you'd better havehonest intentions about my daughter or else I'll have to use it."

Embry stood up and held out his hand, "Chief, I love her. I've loved her for a long time…and as soon as she'll have me, I intend to marry her." He said seriously.

Charlie looked at him sharply and finally nodded, patting Embry on the back as Seth whooped in the background.

"I'm right here you know…" grumbled Leah "Not like you can talk as if I can't hear you…."

"God Embry!" I joined in "That was absolutely the worst marriage proposal I've ever heard!"

"It better not be…" Leach said acidly "I don't see a ring anywhere.."

Sue and Tiffany looked on happily and we toasted to Leah and Embry's happiness.

And for a while, I could forget that tomorrow was a few short hours away.