Chapter 36

'What do you mean; you're going to be gone for three weeks? You're going to miss Harry's party,' I pouted. I was more comfortable with Lily and James now than even a few months ago, but that didn't mean I wanted to go to the birthday party alone. 'Why do you have to go?'

Sirius sighed softly and took my hand in his. 'Kris, you know I wouldn't leave unless I had to. They can't send Prongs and Wormtail's gone missing. The three weeks will go by fast.'

'You said that the last time you were gone for an extended period, and then you came back in the hospital,' I said with a smile. I couldn't complain too much. He hadn't been gone much lately, not like when we started dating. Like he said, three weeks wasn't that long. He'd be back before I knew it. But, that thought did nothing to squelch my worries. What if he came back and ended up in the hospital again?

'I know, love. After this, I won't go anywhere for a while, I promise.' Sirius brought my hand to his lips and lightly kissed the back.

'Don't promise. You know you'll have to go somewhere and if you promise, you'll have to break it. It's fine. I'll stay busy. Maybe Lily needs help getting ready for the party. And I do have to go to a few events in the next couple weeks.' I wasn't okay with him leaving for this, but not just because he could get hurt, though that was the most important reason. He was leaving me alone, and I was still terrified to be alone in the flat. Even after all these months, every bump and noise scared me.

Shifting on the sofa, Sirius turned toward me, still holding my hand tightly in his. As I looked into his eyes, my heart skipped a beat. This was the man I wanted to spend my life with and at that moment, I knew I loved him more than anything else. 'Are you sure you're okay with this?'

'No,' I interrupted, 'I'm not okay with you going, but it's not like I can stop you. This is your job. You're doing this so we can be safe… so that I can be safe.'

Sirius opened his mouth then shut it again, obviously unsure of what to say. Thankfully, a knock sounded on the door, saving us from an awkward silence. He released my hand, stood, and walked quickly to the door, leaving me to lean against the sofa. I shut my eyes and listened to the murmuring of voices at the door. One day, we would be rid of this nightmare and live happily ever after. One day, hopefully soon, I wouldn't have to worry when he disappeared for three weeks. I wouldn't have to worry that he'd come back in a body bag or worse, not at all.

'Hey, Krista.' The sound of Remus' voice pulled me from my daydreams. Smiling, I sat up and turned on the sofa. 'Sorry I have to take him again.'

'Hey, Remus. I know; it's fine. Just… be careful, would you?' I forced a smile, knowing that if something happened, it wouldn't matter how careful they were.

As if knowing my thoughts, Remus smiled sadly. 'We will. I'll let you two say goodbye.' He patted my shoulder before heading to the kitchen.

'Okay, love, we're gonna head out.' Sirius leaned over the sofa, his eyes no longer sparkling like usual. Now they were serious, sorrowful.

'Okay,' I said softly, still looking up into his eyes. Now that he was leaving, I didn't want him to go. What if he didn't come back this time? What if they got him?

Sirius reached out, took my hands and led me around the sofa. He pulled me toward him and hugged me tightly, his chin resting on the top of my head. 'I'll be back soon,' he whispered, his lips brushing my ear. 'I love you.'

'I love you, too,' I whispered back, tears filling my eyes. 'Come on; I'll walk you to the door.' Pulling back, I wiped my eyes and sniffled. I wanted to run up stairs and bury myself in the bed, but I couldn't. I needed to be strong.

Picking up his duffle, Sirius followed me to the kitchen and then the front door. Remus met us there, his own duffle tossed over his shoulder. 'Be careful,' I said softly, knowing for certain that they would be, or at least as careful as they could be.

I hugged them both tightly and kissed Sirius before they disappeared, vanishing with a loud crack from our front door. I winced and jumped nearly a foot in the air as I closed my eyes and leaned against the wall. Would I always jump at that sound?

The days passed slowly and turned into weeks. I didn't do much, went to work and came home. I spent one afternoon with Mum and my sister, Kate. We did some shopping and chatted, catching up. I had to be careful about what I told them, but all in all, it was a great day. Kate had a new boyfriend, Anthony, and they were starting to get serious. Mum was happy for her and I was happy Mum had someone else to pester with questions.

The first day of August rolled around and I found myself driving to Godric's Hollow once again, this time for Harry's party. Lily had called a few days previous to tell me it would just be me and them. They had had a small birthday tea with one of their neighbours the day before and since they couldn't get hold of Peter, I was the only one left.

After a quick hug, Lily led me to the backyard where a small table was set up. 'We're so glad you could come. Sorry there isn't much of a party,' Lily said, handing me a glass of water.

'Quiet is good.' I sat in the chair and crossed my legs, watching Harry giggle on his blanket.

'We haven't been able to see many people. James is so tired of being shut up here all the time. He wants to go on more missions for the Order, but they won't let him.' Lily shrugged, offering a small smile. 'I'm not complaining though, I'd much rather have him here than off…' she trailed off.

Biting my lip, I took a small sip of water, trying not to dwell on the unsaid end of Lily's sentence. 'I understand completely. Sirius… he hasn't gone off much lately, but this one… three weeks is a long time. Especially seeing as how I can't contact him at all.'

'I'm sure he's fine,' she said softly, but her tone of voice betrayed her. She was worried too, but she was trying not to show it. 'There's James.'

I sighed, thankful for the distraction and end to the conversation. Smiling, I shook my head as he walked to the backyard with a few slices of cake. 'Hey muggle,' James said loudly, 'would you like chocolate or vanilla?'

'James Potter,' Lily warned, but she too was smiling.

James seemed to think it was hilarious to call me muggle. At first, I thought he was making fun of me, but now I realised he just liked to tease people. 'Chocolate, please.'

I held out my hand and took the plate and fork, resting it on my knees. 'Lil' do you want to give Harry some of the cake? I cut a small piece of vanilla for him.'

'Sure. He didn't get to have much when Bathilda was over the other day.' Leaving her plate on her chair, she picked Harry up from the blanket and brought him to the table. I ate my slice of cake and watched as she fed Harry.

'So, what have you been up to, Krista? It's been a while since we've seen you.' James took a bite, spilling chocolate crumbs onto his shirt.

'I'm okay, I suppose. I've been trying to keep busy, getting work done and whatnot. If I stay busy, I don't worry about him.'

'Understandable,' James agreed. 'I would much rather be out there than here just sitting on my hands. I don't wait well.'

'That's for sure,' Lily agreed, a small smile on her lips. 'Padfoot and Moony will be back before we know it.'

I nodded silently, not sure if I agreed or not. It had only been two weeks, and there was still one to go, perhaps more if they were detained. 'Oh,' I said, reaching down into my purse, desperate to change the subject. 'Here's Harry's birthday gift. Sirius bought it, so I'm not exactly sure what it is.' I handed her the badly wrapped package and leaned back in the chair, taking the last bite of cake.

Lily handed Harry the package and we all smiled as he happily ripped the paper. Shreds of blue fell into the grass as he held up the prized present. 'What in Merlin's name did he buy?' Lily asked, taking the present carefully from Harry. 'Oh, he didn't.'

'He did!' James exclaimed, jumping up from his seat and taking both the present and Harry. 'It's a toy broomstick! I knew there was a reason he was my best mate.'

James pulled out his wand and mumbled some words as the broomstick levitated off the ground. 'Come on, Harry! You're going to have a blast!' James lifted Harry up and placed him on the broom.

Harry looked around nervously but started squealing happily as the broom zoomed around. 'I could kill him,' Lily whispered, sliding to the edge of her seat.

'He bought a toy broomstick?' I asked, watching Harry zoom. 'That was his idea? He said you'd hate it, but I didn't even imagine…' I trailed off, shaking my head. 'Lily, I'm sorry. Had I known this is what he wanted, I wouldn't have let him buy it.'

'Girls, calm down,' James said, rolling his eyes. 'It's not that big of a deal. It doesn't go that fast.'

'I still don't like him on that thing.'

I glanced over at Lily, smiling at the look on her face. She was visibly scared. 'I'll fuss at him when he gets home.'

'I'm going to give him a piece of my mind when he gets home. Of all things to buy him. He's only a year old and already zooming around on a broomstick.'

'My son is going to be an excellent Quidditch player, this proves it,' James interrupted, a large grin on his face. He lifted Harry off the broomstick, murmured a few more words and let it drop to the grass. 'An excellent Quidditch player.'

Ten days later, I sat in our living room, a book resting on my stomach. Sirius was a few days late, but I knew if I thought about it, I would work myself into a tizzy. He might have gotten stuck doing one last thing for the mission. I was sure he was fine, right?

After Harry's party, I came back home and spent the afternoon tidying up the flat. I tried a full overhaul, doing everything from vacuuming to cleaning the bathroom. It had been a while since we'd cleaned everything and I needed something to keep my mind of him. Once I was finished, the flat was cleaner than I had ever seen it.

Now, ten days after Harry's party, I was dozing on the couch and listening to soft classical music playing on our stereo. The sound of the front door opening pulled me from my near-sleep state and I jumped up, turning toward the door. For a fraction of a second I was terrified, until I remembered that the bad guys always teleported into our flat. I had never seen one open the door. 'Oh goodness, you're home,' I whispered, walking quickly toward him, my book abandoned where it fell on the floor. 'You're back.'

He dropped his duffle onto the floor and opened his arms. 'I'm back,' he whispered, his arms wrapping around me, holding me tightly to him.

I buried my face in his chest, closed my eyes and inhaled deeply. He was home. He was finally home. 'I've missed you more than you can imagine.'

'I don't know, I missed you quite a bit myself.' His fingers threaded through my hair and pressed his lips to my forehead.

'Where's Remus? Did you take him home already?' I pulled back and looked up into his face for the first time in over three weeks. He had scrapes and scratches all over his face and neck, and a bruise forming over his left eye. 'What happened?' I asked, running my fingers along the longest scratch.

Taking my hands, Sirius led me back to the living room and over to the sofa. 'I dropped Remus off before heading here. He was pretty badly beaten and needed to rest. We were fine until the other day. It was a pretty tough raid and they fought back. I'm fine,' he said, noting my worried look. 'The bruise looks worse than it is.'

I bit my lip and shifted on the sofa, resting my head against his chest. I had to hide my face or I would betray my emotions. I didn't want to show him how scared and worried I was, he didn't need to see. Although, I was certain he already knew. 'I'm just glad you're back safe and sound.'

'Me too, Kris, me too.' He slid his fingers through my hair again and lightly squeezed me. I felt a shudder go through him and bit my tongue once again. Don't say anything, Krista I thought, closing my eyes. Don't say anything at all.

AN: Sorry it's a short chapter! I tried to get it out quickly as I haven't updated in a while. Thank you so much to the people who reviewed the last chapter and have stuck with me over the past few years. There are four chapters and an epilogue left!

Thank you again!