Dear Marauders,
This is the Slytherin Insults Board. We are here today to insult everything about you.
James Potter. Your glasses make you look like the geek we both saw walking down the hall yesterday.
Sirius Black. You look like your mother with mental disabilities.
Remus Lupin. You, mate, disappear every full moon. Can you say, "filthy half-breed"?
Peter Pettigrew. Don't even get me started on you. There's so much I could say. Fat butt, thick as a troll...etc,etc.
Love, Severus Snape (S.I.B President)
….
Dear Snivellus,
You sure as heck better hope nobody saw the part about Remus before we did, or you may find yourself locked in the room with him next full moon.
You hurt me, Snivellus. That geek we both caught sight of looked like you with glasses, braces, and a hunched back. That looks nothing like me! I have hot, lush locks, a killer smile, and a body that doesn't quit! You call that geek?!
As for my insult, I'm not too bothered. Nobody could ever look that bad. It's just not possible. I don't know a single person on earth with as many warts as my mother.
"Filthy half-breed"? Isn't that Umbridge's line?
Who?
That ministry bird we read in the paper. Called everything from half-giants to werewolves "filthy half-breeds".
Oh, yeah.
I'm pretty used to your werewolf stuff, Snape. It really doesn't do much anymore. Try insulting my chocolate addiction next time.
Woah, woah! Don't give him ideas!
I have not got a fat butt! I am not as thick as a troll! Ha!
Well done, Peter.
Ay.
Love, Marauders