Heart and Soul — XXXIV
The Seekers in the woods were beginning to present a problem. It had been almost three months since the last raid, and supplies were running low. Everyone could see that they were going to have leave the safety of their caves. Soon.
"We have two choices here, Ukitake," Ichigo said as calmly as he could, "we raid, or we starve to death. Obviously we need to go."
"So eager to face the Seekers again already, Kurosaki-kun?" Ichigo flinched. It had been almost a month since the Seekers had first entered the woods. Hisana still wasn't completely over the scare — it was almost uncommon to see her away from Ichigo's side. She was with Summer and Hinamori at the moment, though, away from this discussion about the possibility of her father leaving the caves. Again.
"Look, that was different…I know they're there, I'll be careful this time — wait, I'm careful every time! It'll be okay."
Kyoraku and Ukitake exchanged looks. Ichigo sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I have to go, okay? We need food, we need water. I'm the best raider you've got, and you know it." He hated to say it. He didn't want to leave Hisana. But he needed to think of the others too — and anyways, Hisana would be fine with Hinamori. And Summer.
Unfortunately, this was something he had to do.
"There's no choice."
Kyoraku and Ukitake sighed. They knew Ichigo was right. "Take Tessai and Yoruichi. And for the love of God, be careful."
"You got it." Ichigo sighed grimly. He wasn't looking forward to talking to Hisana about this.
"How much longer is Daddy going to be talking to Ukitake-san?" Hisana asked, sounding a tad impatient. "And what are they talking about anyways?"
"I dunno, Hisa-chan." Hinamori's voice was so calm, so level, that Summer couldn't tell she was lying. "I'm sure he'll be done soon though."
Hisana sighed and went back to her drawing. Hinamori and Summer exchanged bothered looks. "So what're you drawing, Hisa-chan?"
Summer tuned out while Hisana began explaining her elaborate drawing. What're you thinking about?
You really need to ask?
Of course she didn't. Do you really think Ukitake-san and Kyoraku-kun will let him go? I mean, it's dangerous…
They don't have a choice. If they're running low on supplies, someone has to go. And Ichigo's the only sensible choice, he's the best raider they have. Besides, he knows how to not get caught.
You're still worried, Rukia snorted, and Summer imagined she would have been rolling her eyes, if she could. If he's so good at not getting caught, what is there to be worried about?
As logical as that is… Rukia's voice drifted off for a moment. Sometimes I guess you just can't use logic.
Summer sighed. Rukia seemed to pick up on the fact that she didn't understand what was being said.
Haven't you ever had someone who was just so important to you that even when there's nothing to worry about, you still worry? Summer didn't answer. It's called love, Summer. When you care about someone more than you care about yourself…when you worry even when there's nothing to worry about…it's love.
I know what love is.
You know what unconditional love is, Rukia argued. You souls, you just love everyone. There's no discretion, no thinking. You're all pre-programmed to just love whoever you meet. It's different from human love.
You're right, Summer agreed quietly, carefully going back through Rukia's memories, showing her the past months. Showing her how much she had suffered when she had been separated from Ichigo. Human love hurts more.
Not always, something made Summer turn her head to look at Hisana, who was still working on her drawing. Sometimes it's just beautiful.
"Wook!"
Ichigo and I look over our shoulders at Hisana, our eyes widening almost in unison. The baby girl is holding herself up against the bumpy cave wall, her chubby legs shaking a little under her weight.
"I walk!" She shouts happily, sliding one foot in front of her. She wobbles unsteadily, and Ichigo jumps up, crossing the room in one large step, reaching out for Hisana. "No!" Hisana argues unhappily. "I walk!"
I laugh as I stand up as well, going to stand next to Ichigo, who looks a little unhappy. "Let her try on her own."
"She's going to fall."
"She has to fall to learn. Just let her go, Ichigo."
Ichigo gives me a rather annoyed look, but doesn't argue, choosing instead to watch Hisana take another step, still clinging to the wall. "Wook, wook!" She says again, lowering her arms and taking a step away from the wall. "I walk!"
She takes a step…and promptly falls on her diapered butt. "Oh!" She looks up at Ichigo and I, her amber eyes wide with shock, as if she is asking, "what just happened?"
"Help!" She demands, holding her arms out. I, in turn, cross my arms over my chest, smiling and looking over at Ichigo.
"I dunno…I mean, she did say she wanted to do it on her own, didn't she Daddy?"
Ichigo nods, his face jokingly serious. "Well she did say that…I clearly recall trying to help her before, and she told me she wanted to walk on her own…"
"Momma, Daddy!" Hisana whines, waving her arms. "Help!"
"Well…" Ichigo pretends to think. "What do you say, Hisa?"
Hisana thinks for a moment, her tiny face twisted into a look of concentration. "P'ease?" She finally decides is the word we're looking for. We laugh, and Ichigo sits down on the floor with Hisana, reaching out and picking up Hisana, letting her settle in his lap.
"Do you wanna try walking again?"
"Ahuh!" Hisana nods eagerly, her eyes alight. "I walk, I walk!"
"Well all right then." I cross the room, sitting down on the floor so I was directly across from them. "You wanna walk to Momma?"
"Ahuh!" Hisana tries to push herself up. "Momma, Momma!"
"Okay, got it." Ichigo tucks his hands under Hisana's arms and lifts her up, letting her feet rest against the ground. He takes her tiny hands in his, holding them up above her head and helping her stand. Hisana giggles happily, her bright eyes meeting mine.
"Momma, I stand!"
"Yes you are." I smile, holding my arms out. "Can you walk over here and give Momma a hug now?"
"Yup!" Hisana looks back at Ichigo. "Let go, I walk!"
"You sure, baby girl?"
"I no baby! I big!" I can't help but notice the sadness in Ichigo's eyes, even as he is smiling.
"All right, big girl. Show Momma and Daddy what you can do." And with that, he lets go of Hisana's hands. She looks down at her feet, her face twisted into a look of intense concentration. And she takes the first step.
Her journey from Ichigo to me is slow and unsteady. She hesitates many times as she wobbles, and we hold our breath, waiting for her to fall.
"Momma!" She screeches as she throws herself into my arms, her journey complete.
"Hisana!" I laugh as I hold her tightly against me, celebrating her victory. Hisana giggles as she wraps her arms around my neck, bouncing up and down.
"I walk, I walk!"
"Yes you did, baby girl. Yes you did." Ichigo stands up, crossing the room and sitting down behind me, reaching out and wrapping his arms around my waist, pulling me and Hisana towards him.
"I walk, Daddy!"
Ichigo presses a kiss to Hisana's forehead, smiling. "You walked, Hisana."
Hisana giggles again, burying her face in my shoulder. Ichigo and I exchange a look. For this one moment, we can pretend that we're just a normal, happy family. For this one moment, we can pretend that everything is okay.
"Daddy!"
Hisana's happy, excited voice jerked Summer back to reality. She looked up just in time to see the girl throw herself into her father's arms. "Hey Hisana." Ichigo said with a smile, lifting Hisana up into the air. "Whatcha been up to, baby girl? Driving Hinamori and Summer nuts?"
"No way!" Hisana shook her head, grinning. "I was just coloring!"
"Oh yeah? Well what'd you make?"
"Come see!" Hisana slipped back down to the floor, grabbing her father's hand and dragging him across the room. She sat down on the floor where her drawing was and held it up for him to see. "See, see, that's…"
Hinamori put a hand on Summer's shoulder, jerking her head at the door. Summer understood the silent words; the two stood up in unison, slipping silently into the hall. "So what were you thinking about?" The brown-haired girl asked as they made their way down the hall. "I mean you looked pretty lost for awhile there."
"Nothing much." Summer sighed, looking down at the floor. "So how do you think he's going to tell her he has to leave?"
Hinamori shrugged. "I dunno. She's not going to take it well no matter what he tries to say, though. Ever since that thing with the Seekers, she's been…"
"She's scared." Summer whispered as Hinamori's voice drifted off. "She already lost one parent. She can't lose another."
Hinamori gave Summer a pitying look. "It'll all be okay."
Summer rolled her eyes. "You still believe there's such a thing as okay?"
Hinamori shrugged. "I'm an optimist. I still believe there's such a thing as a happy ending, you know?" Summer gave the girl a disbelieving look. "Don't look at me like that. The way I see it, we're all working towards our own versions of a happily every after. Everything that has happened, it's happened for a reason. All that bad things that happen obstacles that exist for us to get over, to help us get stronger. To help us get to that happy ending, whatever it may be."
"That's not optimism." Summer said, giving voice to her own thoughts as well as Rukia's. "That's insanity."
Hinamori smiled. "To each their own, right?" Summer didn't answer. "All right, think about it this way. If the souls had never come, would Ichigo-kun and Rukia-san have ever met? Probably not. And if they'd never meant, Hisana wouldn't ever exist. But the souls did come, setting everything else into motion. It was destiny."
"Destiny?"
"Yeah. Everything that's happened was meant to happen. The fact that all of us have survived for as long as we have without being captured just means we were meant to survive — we were meant to find our own ending."
"And what about the billions of people that were captured?" Summer demanded. "They weren't meant to find their own endings? You guys surviving, it wasn't destiny — it was luck. Luck and skill. You were lucky not to get caught, and skillful enough to survive all this time. There's no such thing as destiny, Hinamori."
"To each their own." Hinamori repeated calmly. Summer tried to work out an argument in her head.
Why are you so against what she's saying? Rukia asked curiously.
Because she's making it sound like a good thing that we came here, Summer replied. She voiced this thought to Hinamori. "So if we go along with your theory…then it's a good thing we're here, isn't it?"
Hinamori shrugged. "Just because it's destiny doesn't mean it's good. But I'll admit, sans taking everyone's body and turning them into literal puppets…the souls have done a good job on this planet. Better than we ever did, at any rate. And like I said before, if it wasn't for the souls, a lot of us never would have met each other. And I don't know about the others, but I'm grateful for all the people I've met since the souls took over — Kyoraku-kun, Rangiku-san, Ichigo-kun, Rukia-san, everyone, they're all my friends now. And I never would have met any of them if the souls had never come."
"But if we had never come here, you never would have known what you were missing, and it wouldn't have mattered." Summer argued.
"Maybe not. But you can't think about it like that. If you do, it's just going to make your head hurt." Well she was certainly right about that. Summer could feel the headache blooming in the back of her head. "I never would have met you or Nanao-san either." Hinamori said thoughtfully after a moment. "If the souls had never come, I never would have met either of you. That would be pretty sad, don't you think?"
"How so?"
"Well…how many people can say they're friends with even one alien?" Hinamori grinned. "Me, I can say I'm friends with two. And they're pretty great people, if you ask me. They think too much sometimes, and they feel guilty over things that aren't they're fault, but they're still great. And I'm glad I met them."
Summer just stared at Hinamori. "So…you're happy we came here, then?"
Hinamori thought for a minute, then shrugged. "Yeah. I guess that's exactly what I'm saying. Go figure."
And with that she walked away, leaving a rather bewildered Summer standing behind her.
Author's Note: (PLEASE READ IF YOU PLAN ON COMPLAINING ABOUT HOW LONG THIS UPDATE TOOK)
—I don't want to hear it. I'm perfectly aware it has been over a month since I updated, I don't need reviews to tell me that. Unfortunately, sometimes it's necessary to put my schoolwork before the things I do for fun — if fanfiction has to take a back seat to real life, than that's the way it's going to work. I update when I can, and if I have too much homework, than "when I can" becomes almost never. I'm sorry if you don't like that. But I can't afford to fail out of college just because I'm trying to satisfy everybody here. I write when I have the chance. I take the chance whenever I can. If it doesn't happen right away, I'm sorry. But I have these annoying things called priorities. And fun is lower on that list than my schoolwork. So no complaints, please. I do the best I can. You can't ask for any more than that.
(End semi-rant)
—So I know this chapter seemed a little filler-ish — it actually isn't. This is actually setting the base for the rest of the story, which is about 6-10 more chapters, give or take. I know that doesn't make sense now, but trust me, it will in the near (or maybe not-so-near, depending on how my time works) future. So review? And please, please, please remember the above rant when pressing the review button. I really, really don't want reviews that are just people complaining about how long updating takes. Complaints=me not wanting to write. Me not wanting to write=longer updates. It's a rather cruel cycle. Please keep it in mind, and review please? — Sam