Chapter 33 Convergences, Part III
A miracle is a moment in time that should never have happened, but did anyways. I want to believe then, that everything has happened for a reason…that every moment from the beginning has been and always will be a miracle.
Last World
Why is it, that when I am alone my mind turns to that dark place I want to just forget. A moments peace, from my own darkness…can't I be granted that small respite? Or shall I just return back to the dust.
This place is full of stars.
The world around me is falling apart, but here I am just standing in place watching the stars make their final rotation. The last slow dance to a sad song briefly playing in the brightly lit night sky, everything will be over soon.
Affixed lights falling from their places, like droplets of light, here in the darkness I know myself but I can't leave until I see the ending. I wonder what is wrong with me.
The sky cracks revealing a brilliant blue light, the shattered pieces falling apart like large shards of glass and crashing to the floor. Broken lines across my reflection stare back at me in the shattered pieces.
A nightingale in a golden cage, I don't know my own heart.
"…Don't you understand? No one wishes to go on…"
She falls with grace from the ether. Like an angel come from the stars, the glittering shards of glass are falling in slow motion around her, slowly revolving on themselves. Stepping into my solitary painted world…
Love will return, to the dim fading light of our souls.
Prime World
The knight in blue looked down at her hands, fading away like dry sand on a beach in a light summer breeze. She smiled softly as the motes rose into the sky. It was a bittersweet farewell, the deed had been done, the hard fought battle had been won, but in the end it was just a fleeting moment.
The White Knight watched her go, it was strange for him to know what she was, who she was. The silence was interrupted by a comment from the ragged breathing of the Lancer who had propped himself up on his blood-red lance.
"Man, you look better as a girl" A smiling remark, before the Lancer collapsed.
He turned away ignoring that man, his attention was on that girl. She was there standing, waiting for him. Tentatively taking steps forward, unsure of what to say, but she didn't need to say anything to him.
Here we are with our toes dipped in the placid ocean water, taking the first steps into the deep. And here we are, with the knowledge that one day this path before us will be a raging tempest, which might seek to claim us.
Waiting on the edge, trapped in this wide room of uncreated night. Here in this womb, not yet given birth to a perfect dawn. Unable to pull back from the brink of uncertainty, here in this moment there is only this.
And now the wave comes crashing down.
Nyx World
It is dark now. Not even that, there is no light to contrast this place, it is simply endless emptiness. A blindingly infinite expanse, to calculate its distance is impossible. Around me are the discarded husks of what used to be, now nothing more than empty shells. Like insects, they have died leaving up dried remains of what once was.
Only I am left here, in this castle that is being encroached on by the sweeping dark.
I feel nothing but hollowness inside; my possessions have all faded into the coming shadow. Only I linger and remain, like a lone flickering candle against an endless night.
All at once he arrived, an unannounced guest. The harbinger of the end, come to bring this world to its end. Only I am left here, alone at the end of things. No, that is not quite correct…
The wall cracks under his weight as reality shifts and tears itself apart, the great white dog roars and the remains of reality shiver at his feet. Answering to his master's call even when everything should have faltered, this faithful servant was all I have left. I could leave this place if I wanted to.
But this is my house.
"Leave before I kick you out myself!"
I don't like uninvited guests.
Prime World
The smoke cleared slowly; there was nothing but an open wound across the surface of the ground where they once stood. Even the air had burned away, the earth was fused into a solid charred face, like pure obsidian exposed to the world.
Atop the broken tower, the raven haired girl lay bleeding out. She didn't even try to hold in her last breaths, taking them now through gritted teeth.
"Speak but don't pretend, I already know that this is the end" The Archer spoke down to her as he slowly faded away. She smiled a little at his candid nature, a curt nod and then he was gone.
In the end, she didn't even say what she wanted to say. She felt like she should feel sad, but there was no time now, and surely she would be joining him soon.
Across from her on the rooftop, she could see his tired face. His eyes were closed, his body broken. We bet everything on this moment. It is a little unfortunate then that we cannot witness the ending. Still, I don't regret any of this. With a small pained smile the raven haired girl closed her eyes for the last time.
This was our last best chance, our last hope at a future. I hope that we bet our all on the right choice.
I hope that this was the right decision.
We were going to die here, you and I, we both knew that and still we stood side by side at the end. I don't regret that.
A thousand lights in the sky; each beating to the sound of an eternal dream, and then they began to fall to the earth like comets. Where they fell there was no smoke, there was no ruined image cut into the ground, instead people stood staring up at the darkened sky. Hundreds of falling souls, like angels dropping from the heavens, touched down.
There was silence now, atop that broken tower. A girl, stood there now, having appeared moments before. She stared down now, at the dead girl lying ruined across the rooftop. The wind blew softly, as she looked down at her other self. Silence still, and then she was gone, stepped off from the edge and flying through the air.
Across the face of the world, a thousand ignited souls began to blaze. And the world shook as they called upon ancient names, and destruction reigned anew.
Someday, look back
My name is Inanna; it is not a name that I chose. It is not a possession that can be thrown away; it is not an object to hold onto. Identity, who am I? I am Inanna, that is my name, but that is not who I am.
I am a wanderer, lost and unaware, terrified of this lightning storm outside my door. I am a child, unable to cope with the silent darkness beneath my bed. I am a girl, unable to come to grips with the guilt that I bare. I am innocent, but I am at fault, for accepting that heartfelt wish.
I bear witness; that is my role. To return something that was once given.
On a, young day
Someone was screaming, but I couldn't hear the words they said. Too many things in the span of a moment had moved from their places. Echoes of the past fighting for a future in the sky, and still the flashing comets of light fell to the earth.
We shared, we learned
"Nayenezgani!" a voice rose above the rest. In the distance a man stood, firing lightning from a bow. At his side, his brother stood tall.
We had, we lost
The weight of the shockwave sent me flying. I hit the side of the building hard, I could feel my bones quiver and shake, but they did not break. I don't have the time to be laying in the ground bleeding; I pick myself up off the ground. Everything is chaos around me; I can't even see where everything has gone. I am alone again.
Everything hurt, this pounding in my head would not abate, blood swelling towards punctured skin. Somewhere in the endless expanse I heard her call, in a quiet voice.
"Nadeshiko…?" I look up at the sky, here at the end of things we might finally meet, me and her.
"Where are you?" I call out, but there is no answer.
I never expected there to be an answer, she does not know me. Still, I have so much to say, to be so close now and yet so far is infuriating.
I don't want to be just an observer.
Because you know
My name is Inanna; I am a daughter of madness. I am born of a wish, to return that which was lost. My life is forfeit; that was the price that was paid. The cast from which we bore form is set in stone. I don't care about that; I abandoned my future when I ran from that place.
We who were born from her immortal soul cannot know another mother. We are her children; there will be no others that shall follow us.
Tomorrow had another plan
Crushed against the wall, broken and dying, I looked down at myself. Her eyes barely registered and she looked up at me. And then the faintest of a smile on her face as she spoke, even though she should not have been able.
"Do you answer the call sister?"
Because we lose
"Yes"
In the end, that has always been how this will end. We will return to that from which we sprang, and hope that we may see a tomorrow that might never come.
Her eyes closed now, content maybe with that end perhaps. But I still function; I still bear witness to this reality.
I still exist.
The future is all we have left
Whatever lost dreamers might still walk this world with me, I hope then that this is not wrong to wish for. That we that have come and faltered, we who have abandoned and lost, and we who have loved and been made whole…
I want to believe that these lives held some sort of purpose. That we were not all born just to be wasted, I want to believe even after everything we will be remembered.
I want to believe in that mother who told us stories as children.
In the end, that is all we have left to return. This broken vessel is called home.
Love will return, to the dim fading light of our souls.
One pain, one hope
Anomaly Root
Is it over?
I dare to ask myself that question; in the blackness I can hear the pounding of a heartbeat. Is it mine?
I don't have an answer to that.
I just have these lingering questions left to me. I can see him now, even though my eyes as blurred by tears. He is standing now; even though his legs should have given out, even though he should have nothing left…still he stood.
How can he still continue?
Not like this, this isn't how it was supposed to happen.
"I failed didn't I?"
His voice breaks my heart again. It should already have been shattered but I feel one last piece snap, one last cog in the machine faltering.
We failed.
Is this a happy ending?
No.
I wanted to believe my heart was resolved to see this ending. But even a mind of steel and iron could not cope with the vision before my eyes. That weeping man; who looked like his world had been torn apart, and that dead girl; on the floor whose world had just ended.
And I, who just stood there and bore witness.
Too far, so close
The overflowing memories are threatening the edges of my sanity. I can't even think anymore. There is just here face there now, that smiling face I swore I would protect even though I couldn't.
I said I would be there didn't I?
Who the fuck do I think I am to make that promise?
We laugh, we cry
A promise I broke.
I was scared; beyond my limits is something foreign and new. I want to reach out and grasp it, but this intangible doubt still lingers at the back of my mind.
…why do you look so sad?
We live, we grow
Why am I here, doing nothing. The knife that he held has fallen to the ground, the knife I gave him. The tool through which he ended everything, is this the justification I reached? I who could not end it…
Because…
In this moment we are strangers. You who are consumed by your grief, and I by my guilt, but we have the same goal you and I.
We have the same wish.
Because we know the future is all we have left
If it is not enough, then take my life, take my soul. Take everything away from me, I don't need it anymore.
Take back the day, we said goodbye.
I can't hold onto these regrets.
You don't love me, but I love you. That is enough in this moment to understand…
For love I will do anything.
One day, somewhere
Genesis
Hold on, somewhere
With hope her soul was forged by his hands, something that was made from nothing. To be born into a world innocent was his intent, but like all good intentions his bore ill to a curse.
With love she forged a vessel, something to house that wayward newborn soul. She used her own immortal soul to create an impossible future. Out love she bore witness to miracle, even after countless failures.
We stand, we leap
That was their wish.
We fall, we go
Two parts of a single desire, but the miracle is still incomplete.
Because you know
Out of the endless possibilities, tragedy continues to repeat itself. As the shattered seeds of her soul bear children that scatter into the winds of the universe, a final purpose not yet understood.
Tomorrow plays another hand
…the girl's design is flawless, this was her final masterpiece. It was all for that child after all, now all that is left is to set the pieces into motion.
Because we lose
Then that child can decide for herself, what kind of future she wishes for.
The future is all we have left
Throne World
My earliest memory was being told a story about a boy who would be a hero and a girl who was consumed by darkness.
Mother loved telling that story.
But I would always fall asleep before she reached the end.
She told us to love our sisters more than we love ourselves, but in truth, I think we all loved her more than any other. We grew up in the shadow of that distant father, he who could not comprehend our emotions. So that is why it was so painful when she was gone, because we knew that it was our birth that was her end.
We, who were born on wings of death, take flight into this ugly yet beautiful world.
Father does not know, he cannot know for he does not even understand thought anymore. His will, it will continue until all is smote into ruin. His voice will echo in his empty halls and reach deafened ears of the thoughtless and the fake, like statues they stand, like sheep they follow.
But we have purpose, even if others have strayed from the path. Even if we run forever, even if a thousand years of darkness is what awaits us. We will walk all of eternity in search of her.
We have someday
We will convey those words that could not be spoken…
…For our sister not yet born.
Surely someday
"Nadeshiko"
Surely someday
Forgive us for the choice you must bear. The last thoughts we all shared before we ran into the chaos.