Chapter Thirty Six - In Which Tonks Finds Solace
After a week of hard studying, late nights and stiff necks, finally Tonks found herself sitting in her most faveourite place in the world; next to the fire in Professor Lupin's office.
"I wish you'd just hurry up and graduate already" he sighed.
"Me too" she agreed, "I'm so energy drained right now, I can't' eat, I can't sleep, I'm sick of waiting"
"One more week and you'll be home" his eyes twinkling with concern, "are you ready for tomorrow?"
Tonks thought for a moment but gave up trying to lie.
"I'm scared" she admitted straight up, he began to massage her shoulders.
"That seems about right"
"What if I stuff up?" she asked.
"Nymphadora, you're the smartest girl I've ever known, you're absolutely perfect" he said gently stroking her back as she hid her face in his chest. "I know that you will be the most amazing witch out there tomorrow and I have no doubt that they will think that too" he continued.
Tonks took a deep breath clinging to him.
"But what if I crack under pressure, everyone keeps telling me how well I'm going to do. What If I disappoint everyone?" she whispered.
"Well" he replied doing his best to think logically, "you've never cracked before and you always tend to thrive off pressure, so I'd say that that's awfully unlikely." He could tell this wasn't the answer she was looking for so he continued. "Don't worry about how you do. If a man is called to be a street sweeper, he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted or Beethoven composed or Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will pause to say here lived a great street sweeper who did he's job well" he finished quoting his faveourite philosopher Marin Luther King Jnr.
"It's doesn't matter what you do with your future. It doesn't make you any more or less important, weather you make 5 galleons or 500 galleons a week. It doesn't matter" he emphasised again. "It only matters that whatever you do, you do it with your whole heart."
"You're a poet" smiled Tonks looking up at him.
He smiled at her precious glance. "No, I'm just good with feelings. I've been through a bit, I feel so old sometimes" he smiled sadly brushing his lips against her forehead and kissing her briefly.
K-N-O-C-K
K-N-O-C-K
There was a knock at the door, and they both jumped up. Tonks cursing inappropriately under her breath.
Professor Lupin sighed, really wanting to give into his selfishness and send whoever it was away, but he knew deep down that he couldn't do that. Tonks sensed that too. "You always have to be so noble don't you?" she sighed.
He didn't reply, she just gripped onto his wrists tighter.
"I suppose that's why I love you" she whispered sending Goosebumps up her arm as she said it.
K-N-O-C-K
K-N-O-C-K
"I'll be hiding in your bedroom" she whispered giving him one last hold before slipping away into his room, "trying not to make a sound and pretending that I don't exist"
Tonks lay on his bed listening carefully through the shut door to hear who it was.
She heard Penelope Clearwater's voice coming through his office.
"Professor I was wondering if I could get some help? Sorry I've come so late" came her squeaky voice.
"Of course" he replied showing no hint of his annoyance. "Come in, hot chocolate or something else?" he asked.
"No thanks" she replied smugly, "I'm trying to keep a strict healthy died before my exams". Tonks didn't want to be mean but she couldn't help but roll her eyes, as if healthy eating would give her an O.
"I'm having some trouble with understanding inferi…" and Tonks didn't bother to listen to anymore gross detail. She had suddenly become aware that she was sitting in a world of possibilities, she'd never taken a close look at his bedroom before.
It wasn't much unlike his office, filled with books and nothing much else. Slowly Tonks opened his first drawer of his bedside table, wincing at the squeak of noise it released.
Tonks knew that she probably shouldn't be going through his most private draw. But the temptation was too great and she took it as an opportunity to get to know him better.
Tonks rummaged through his stuff feeling slightly disappointed. There was nothing scandalous, nothing surprising; not that she really wanted to find anything like that. There were a few trinkets, an old blank parchment, a few photos of his friends and one that he assumed to be a picture of his mother and father.
Tonks smiled as she saw a small vile that read hangover potion. Picking up the tag she read the attached note.
To Moony,
Just in case.
Padfoot.
Tonks frowned at the name Padfoot, she felt like she should know who it was, but she had no idea.
But that was it, plain and simple, his most important things laid out in front of her. There were no secrets, no notes from mysterious lovers like a handsome boy of his age should have had, and there was nothing there that he had kept from her. He was a man of unquestionable morals and Tonks wouldn't have had it any other way.
Slowly Tonks shut the draw and jumped to stand up and get a better look at his bookcase. But as she sprung to her feet she didn't notice a rather large pile of books beside his bed, tripping she silently cursed as she found herself crashing head on into his bookshelves, not only managing to sprain her ankle and fall to the ground but to knock the unsteadily piled books from his rather messy shelving and they came noisily clattering down on top of her.
'He's going to kill me' she thought to herself as she sat buried under his books.
"Excuse me" she heard his voice come loudly from the other room, "I have a rather clumsy bird" he laughed, "owl" he clarified, "she gets rather agitated when I leave her for long periods of time, I'll just go and check on her".
He entered the room, shutting the door carefully behind him.
Tonks looked up guilty from the pile of books she was laying in, and to her surprise he just laughed.
"Are you okay?" he mouthed
Tonks nodded trying to stifle her giggles over his gentlemanly approach as he took her hands and helped her up. She giggled again trying her best not to be too loud and he couldn't help but think how adorable she was.
"What?" he asked causing her to giggle harder.
"You're so sweet" she whispered into his ear, sending shivers up his spine. Tonks stood on her tiptoes and placed her hands delicately on his shoulders just like she had seen in the movies. She kissed him sweetly, shyly and slowly.
After a few moments they broke away and he just stood there shocked wondering what he had ever done to deserve such a beautiful angel.
He knew he ought to go back to Penelope before it became suspicious but he didn't want to leave her and it showed on his face. Tonks silently cursed the fact that he was so committed to helping others, but deep down she knew she wouldn't have it any other way.
"You'd better hurry back" she whispered as she ushered him out and he shut the door, trying his best to cover the slight curl forming on the corner of his lips.
Once he had finished helping her to understand inferi, he said goodnight and shut his door as she walked away. Pausing slightly before he went to check on Tonks he couldn't help but feel slightly guilty about kissing her. Whether or not she was graduating in less than a week, she was still his student and he was still deceiving everyone.
"Merlin" sighed Tonks, "I thought she'd never leave" she looked at him quizzically and she could tell that he was feeling guilty. "I'm sorry about the bookcase" she apologized.
"No matter" he replied "I'll be packing my bags any day now"
There was an awkward pause where neither party knew what to say.
"You know I don't blame you" stuttered Tonks, "I would still love you if you were my Professor or not. I know you're not using me, even if you can't see it. You're a good man, and I don't' think it can be very pleasant for you, falling in love with a student"
"Tell me about it" he sighed tracing his forefinger across his eyebrow nervously.
"The amount of nights I stayed up, feeling like a sick minded school girl for falling in love with her teacher" Tonks gulped.
"Really?" he asked cautiously, "I thought it was just me" he sighed in relief.
Tonks smiled.
"You know I'll wait because you want me to" Professor Lupin looked slightly confused. "I'll wait till I graduate before I kiss you again" she clarified, "I can see it makes you slightly uncomfortable".
He smiled gratefully wondering if he'd ever fully deserve her.
"You have no idea, I feel guilty enough being your teacher let alone a werewolf" he admitted. "You're perfect Nymphadora" Tonks blushed.
"I try" she joked sarcastically flicking her long pink ponytail over her shoulder. "Goodness knows I've waited long enough for you to love me back" she smiled her eyes suspiciously moist, "I think I can wait another few weeks"
Tonks couldn't resist but run her fingers through his chocolate brown hair briefly.
"See you outside the Great Hall as 9:30 then Gem" she laughed with rosie cheeks, "and I'm going to be counting every minute down until our date, so you'd better make it special" and Professor Lupin swore that if there had been a thousand Dementors he could have produced a patronus powerful enough to knock back every single one of them.
Author's Note- Thank-you for all your reviews it was great to hear your responses, here are some I didn't think of but I loved:
Johnny Depp, Zac Effron, Alan Rickman, Robert Downey Jnr., James and Oliver Phelps, the guy who plays Remus Lupin (naturally we all love him a little bit!), Logan Lerman and the guy who played Prince Caspian (have you seen the deleted scene where he kisses Susan and she cracks up laughing! So cute!)
So thank you amazing reviewers:
Letswilhelm, Mary, JellyBeaan007, Random Person With No Name and Jess And Friend.
My question for you today:
If you had to give yourself a new name what would it be?
I'd have my first name: Poppy, because I think that's a sweet name although I also love the name Ann and Diana,
I'd have the surname: Blackthorn (cause it goes with Poppy) otherwise I'd have something like Florance, Knight, Prince, Parker, Pappion, Price or Young.
I have a big long list of names that I love (for when I have to write stories), sometimes it takes me just as long to pick out a name as it does to write the story. I'm a bit funny like that. Anyway I hope you can come up with some good names!
PrincessDreamGirl