CHAPTER 36

Harry's diary now consisted mostly of entries concerning the exams, his friends – and the largest portion was devoted to the enigmatic and thorny personality of Severus Snape. Harry had admitted to himself that he was actually feeling more than just a childish immature crush on the man; and having managed to put years of mutual resentment behind them, appreciated and respected him, even though Severus cloaked his emotions behind his mask of infamous sarcasm. Harry knew him too well thanks to mental magic, and, moreover was familiar with little unconscious gestures Severus made – cues which hinted at Severus's mood or thoughts. When the Potions Master traced his mouth with his long index finger, then it meant that he was pensive. If he paced to and fro, he was restless due to his work as a spy and brooding thoughts related to Voldemort; and when the corners of his mouth dipped upwards in a slow smile and his eyes creased at the corners, he was genuinely pleased. As for rage – Harry had had more than enough experience to recognise the danger signs. On the other hand, that sentiment had not been directed him for quite a long time, ever since he had become friends with Severus. Yes, he was definitely friends with Severus. Good friends. Special friends.

"FIREBOLT TO EARTH, HARRY POTTER!" Hermione's voice was shrill as it disrupted Harry from his reflections.

"Huh?" he asked.

Hermione was bristling at him.

"I just asked you a Transfigurations question to see how well prepared-"

"Er, can you please repeat it?"

"Really, how do you and Ron expect to pass your exams if you don't concentrate? This is important, we are going to graduate-"

Ron leant over and kissed her cheek. His ploy worked; Hermione immediately calmed down; mollified, she ruffled Ron's red hair and shook her head reprovingly at Harry. Harry blushed when he discovered himself picturing Severus ruffling his, Harry's, messy hair.

--

"CONCENTRATE, POTTER!" Severus railed at his pupil during a particularly fatiguing Legilimency hour. Harry was feeling nervous because it was his second last Legilimency lesson with Severus before the NEWT exams. Dumbeldore intended for him to stay at Hogwarts after his graduation, but he had only heard it said; nothing definite had been decided as yet – not to his knowledge, at least. He wondered if he would continue seeing a lot of Severus in case he indeed continued staying on at Hogwarts, the only reliable source of protection for him. For them all, Harry thought. And then, of course, there were his feelings towards Severus Snape…

Severus's ferocious bellow and stare made Harry wince inwardly.

"You are distracted, Potter!" Severus added stingingly.

"NEWT exams…"

Severus's glare seemed to smoke.

"A lame excuse for your lack of concentration!" was his scornful rejoinder. "We are going to start again. Da capo!" He made a swiping gesture with his wand like a conductor waving his baton.

Harry took a deep breath, steadying himself to "read" Severus's mind. The man was so skilled that he could actually select precise memories to prepare for Harry's invasion – something Severus did very often whenever Voldemort tried to get information from him. It was when Harry used Occlumency and Legilimency occurred as a side effect that Severus found it nearly impossible to focus on "disposable" memories which Harry could peruse, in a manner of speaking. Severus had tried using fake memories – another tactic which he used with Voldemort; this, however, did not work because his relationship with Harry was based on trust and soul sympathy, among other things. Harry knew him in a way not even Dumbledore knew him, and Severus, too, had got to know Harry via this mentally intimate way. Offering Harry fake memories would be like fooling the youth and insulting him; and it was quite possible that Harry would recognise fake memories. Their relationship would suffer. At the same time, Severus was both exhilarated and worried about his growing sexual interest in Harry – an interest which was actually far more than only sexual. He discovered, to his shock, that he was becoming…fond…of the young man. Harry knew exactly how to add piquancy to their conversation. He was the only one besides Dumbledore who seemed to feel comfortable around Severus, smiling, laughing and even joking a little with him. Severus remembered Harry as an eleven-year-old child. A sweet good-natured child, who, in spite of his horrid home life, had not been ruined by cynicism and bitterness. Even after years of mutual loathing, Harry had managed to learn to like Severus. Severus's thin cheeks flushed at the image of Harry lying underneath him after their shirtless duel. There had been something in those green eyes which had told him that Harry more than liked him. Severus had imagined stripping off Harry's pants and underwear and kissing that body all over. Kissing that teasing titillating mouth. Dumbledore had told him that Harry was be staying at Hogwarts after graduating.

"If that boy graduates," Severus had thrown in, more for the sake of maintaining his usual mask. Dumbledore had smiled a strange knowing smile.

"He will, Severus, he will. All I have to do is call him to my office and tell him. I am very glad that you are willing to supervise him and train him."

"He is passable enough when he makes the effort."

The blue eyes had twinkled like Christmas decorations.

"Yes, you two suit each other very well. It did take a little time, but better late than never."

Severus still found himself turning that observation over in his mind. Especially the first bit.

The Legilimency lesson was nearly over when a burning pain shot through Severus's left forearm. His face went blank and his clutched at the searing patch of branded skin. Harry understood immediately. Severus averted his eyes in case he saw disgust in those green eyes. Another surge of pain overwhelmed him. He bit back a gasp and tried to steady himself against his hard desk; but an arm intervened – Harry's arm.

"Sir, please allow me…" The arm supported him, and a firm hand, cool and gentle, touched the Dark Mark.

"I have to leave this instant," Severus rasped, "and so must you."

"Sir-"

"Go, Potter. Now."

"I just wanted to say, 'take care of yourself'."

Their eyes met, and their gazes seemed to wrestle with each other for a second before Harry left the office on silent feet.

--

Something was up. Harry felt a strange kind of tension as soon as he set foot in the Gryffindor common room. Hermione, Ron and Ginny had expressions of muted excitement on their faces.

"Harry, someone's waiting for you in Dumbledore's office. Dobby came to tell us. The password is 'ear jam'. Ugh."

"Someone?"

Ron grinned.

"We've seen him already, mate. Go on-"

"Oy, I just want to change into something fresh, so hang on…"

"Oh, and Dobby said not to tell anyone else that someone is waiting for you," Ginny piped up.

Puzzled and intrigued, Harry went upstairs. He rushed down in five minutes, his feet thumping loudly on the stairs. Hermione, who was quizzing Ron on Charms, shushed him impatiently. Ron took the opportunity to roll his eyes at Harry. Ginny and Dean were playing Exploding Snap near the fireplace.

"Ear jam," Harry gasped out the password when he reached the Gargoyle. There was no need to knock on Dumbledore's office door when he arrived. Remus Lupin was standing in the doorway, smiling at him.

--