Chapter 36

Maryse Lightwood had imagined being reunited with her children many times, mainly in a happy place with the sunshine, but never had she imagined this particular scene in this grim situation. Her main fantasy was that all three of her children found her and they talked and everything was great, another fantasy being, that she had found them and they all hugged and enjoyed being back together. In all her daydreams she had met all three of them at the same time and they had all been so happy to be together again.

She had never anticipated that her eldest son, whom was now a huge symbol for the revolution and was in a competition that the makers wanted him to lose, would stare at her with a mixed look of shock, disappointment and distain, in the middle of a grey room – the only furniture a table and two chairs. She never thought about how painful it would be to both herself and her children. The look he was giving her, with those eyes that were pretty much identical to hers, hurt her like a stab wound.

Alexander was practically a younger, taller, male version of herself. He got her piercing blue eyes, raven black hair and porcelain complexion, their bone structure was almost the same two, though Alec's jaw looked stronger and less feminine. And, he had grown, considerably. Maryse dreading meeting Isabelle for fear that she would almost be a duplicate of herself – how would she cope if her daughter gave her the same withering look if it was like looking in the mirror? It was then that she realised neither had spoken and that they were just staring at each other.

"Alexander." She sighed, tears blearing her vision. "You've grown so much."

He stood staring at her blankly, it was a look that she frequently used and now she knew how much it hurt to be given. His long eyelashes casted shadows on his elegantly angled cheek bones, he opened his mouth slightly to speak but closed it again, he repeated this before he bit his lip and finally spoke.

"I don't know what to say to you." His honest answer made her simultaneously laugh and cry. Laugh because he was talking to her and that, just in that simple answer, it showed he hadn't changed much and that he was still the same blunt, straightforward and honest child she remembered. However, she also wanted to cry because they should have been closer, they should know what to say, they should know each other.

"I understand. I'm feeling a little like that myself." She felt herself smile sadly at the fact. "I presume you got the letter and I presume you know how sorry I am for not being there for you all. I don't mean this to be an excuse but after..." She struggled to say his name, the loss of her youngest never got easier, despite what everyone told her. "I wasn't there mentally. I was depressed and delusional, and then the raids happened and we were split which made it worse. But I'm fine and I hope you are-"

"Where is this going?" Alec asked.

"I would like to meet you more often, and Izzy and Jace too, if you'll allow it. I want to be there for you all, I want to be your mother again." She sighed, looking at the concrete floor, it was true.

"Why?" Alec watched her as she looked up at him, her expression slightly confused. She saw the bottled-up anger behind his icy blue eyes, though he didn't let it out through his tone, his answer was nonchalant and sounded like he couldn't care less. "Why now? Because we're going to die? Because it'll look good and you can at least say you tried to get back in our lives before we were killed?"

"Alexander!" She shouted, flabbergasted at his attitude. Her blue eyes blazed with anger at his blasé answer, she stepped towards her son, not noticing herself move. "How can you have such a defeatist attitude? You have siblings and a boyfriend to live for! You will not die because I, as your mother, forbid it! So what, the odds are against you? Who cares about odds anyway? You'll never win if you don't believe you will, Alexander. I'm sure your siblings and Magnus aren't sulking about it!"

"That's because they won't let the team down. I will! Jace is incredible at everything, Isabelle is the most resilient person I know and Magnus is Magnus – he's a warlock for the Angel's Sake! But, I have nothing but my archery and okay I won that, but we won't win again. They never meant for me to get archery and they'll probably find an excuse to deduct points purely because I got them! So it'll be my fault we lose and die!" Alec shouted back, "You don't know how much I thought Jocelyn would visit me so I didn't feel left out, because Izzy has that vampire, Simon, Jace has Clary, Magnus has friends but I have no one but those three! I don't mean anything to anyone!"

"Don't ever say that! You don't know what you mean to people, do you? If you mean nothing why do you have a whole revolution behind you?" she paused as the news sunk in, his face paled, his eyes widened, he stepped back a little and frowned. "Because it's true. If you're so worthless, why are a whole lot of Shadowhunters and Downworlders who are supporting you! Not Magnus, Izzy or Jace and certainly not the other contestants! You, Alexander, they support you! And that means you aren't worthless, you matter as much, if not more, than the others because you are the face of the revolution, their symbol and hope, they need you. Alexander, they have given you have a chance to really shine, to prove to yourself you aren't what you said you were. So, take it!" Her face was flushed and she only now realised that somewhere within her rant she had taken his arms and had shaken them repeatedly, trying to get the message in. He blinked at her before he crumpled around her, bringing her into his arms.

Maryse stood stunned before she hugged her first born back. His head was against her shoulder as be used her for support, Maryse wasn't a short woman but compared to Alec, she looked like a doll. She felt Alec shake and knew he was crying, she could feel his tears seep into her shoulder, through the material of her shirt. She hushed him and rocked them back and forth.

"I'm sorry." He sobbed into her shoulder.

"What for? If anyone is sorry it should be me for shouting at you." She replied, stroking his messy hair.

"No. I deserved it." He mumbled, before he stood up, his eyes red and puffy. She gave him a small smile and gestured to the two chairs, sat opposite sides of the table, he nodded and they sat.

"There's also another reason I visited you," Maryse place her hands on the table in the middle of her and her son, "It's to ask you to keep yourself and your siblings and boyfriend safe and to win this. Because, Alexander-"

"Alec, I prefer to be call Alec." He interrupted and then expected to be reprimanded for interrupting. Maryse smiled instead, pleased that it meant Alec had forgiven her a little bit, and carried on.

"Well, Alec, I meant what I said about the revolution. You've been chosen as their hope and everything you do inspires them."

"I don't... How... I don't want to be their hope." Alec whispered.

"I don't think you get a choice." Maryse relied bluntly.

"But I'm not revolution poster material so why me?"

"I don't know." She replied. "My main suspicion is because of your relationship with Magnus, you are proving that not only can two males have a romantic relationship but a Downworlder and a Shadowhunter can have a romantic relationship too. I'm not even sure it's purely a romantic relationship, I think it's just any positive relationship." Maryse smiled. It made her proud, and even if Alec didn't understand why he was perfect for the role, she did. He was kind, protective about what he loved, honest and though he was shy, he would stand up for a cause he cared enough about.

"I didn't chose to love him, I just do." Alec replied, his cheeks blushed a pale pink and his eyes filled with a look so full of love it mad Maryse's eyes water just watching.

"So, you two are really serious?" She smiled.

"I guess, yes." He pressed his lips together. "Are you okay with us?"

"Of course!" Maryse gaped at him, incredulously. "From what I saw, you two were very much in love and for what I've heard Magnus seems… nice."

"He is nice."

"And you're okay with the age gap?" She asked, her motherly concern was rearing its head.

"I panic sometimes because Magnus must know so many people, all of whom must be more exciting than me, and I honestly think he could have anyone but he's chosen me. And though, it's great, I feel like he may get bored and leave."

"Alec. Don't say such derogatory things about yourself." Maryse shook her head. "He'd be a fool to leave you." I know I was, she thought bitterly. Alec smiled and she sensed he was done with the conversation. "How are Jace and Izzy?"

The rest of the time was spent to talking about the games, Jace and Izzy, life after the games (if, Alec added bitterly, they survived; Maryse scolded him again for his attitude) Alec's other work members and about Maryse's current work. After the meeting was over, both Maryse and Alec felt better about their relationship, they hoped it would continue.

W/M: Do you want me to write Izzy and Jace's meetings? If so I don't mind and I will add them to the Extras.

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