CHAPTER THIRTY SIX

Though it had been clear for weeks now that Jesse harboured feelings for this girl, this weirdo with the earspike, it wasn't until he was lying beside Beca in his bed, reflecting on the evening's events, that he realised the sheer magnitude of them. Not only was she smart, witty, beautiful, but she was also loyal; loyal enough to keep on encouraging him to pursue his dreams and apply for internships even though it meant that Luke would continue to hold something over her. She had made the decision look so easy too, instantly shaking her head as soon as he had tried to hand her his application form and insist that he was okay with it, and god, he liked her. Really liked her.

"Get some sleep, weirdo," Beca said softly from beside him, and he turned, his lips quirking slightly as he took in the way her body was carefully angled away from his, her hands glued to her sides, obviously trying to avoid repeating the events – the cuddling – of this morning. With a grin, he purposefully shifted himself towards her, sliding an arm around her shoulders, his grin growing wider as she instantly froze, lifting her head to give him a dirty look.

"If it's any consolation," he started, trying his hardest to stop himself from laughing at the way she squirmed, prodding him repeatedly in the ribs, "Technically I'm the one doing all the cuddling here; you're completely innocent."

She narrowed her eyes at him, shooting him another look. "For the last time, this is not cuddling," she said, with gritted teeth, eyes bright, but she stopped moving all the same, biting her lip and leaning into him ever so slightly, "I don't do cuddling." He grinned, tightening his grip on her, pressing his mouth against her hair before slowly closing his eyes as she fell silent, her breathing becoming steadier. It wasn't until ten minutes later when she suddenly shifted, slowly pulling his hands away from her and sitting up again.

"Hey, Jesse, are you still awake?"

He cracked an eye open, his eyebrows immediately furrowing with concern at the hesitation in her voice, his heart starting to beat faster, wanting so badly to reach out for her again and try to get rid of it but instead, he just stayed quiet, giving her a nod, completely awake now. Beca took a deep breath, tearing her gaze away from him and down at her lap, fidgeting with her hoodie [or rather, his hoodie], and still, he waited, his gut instinct telling him that was the best thing to do right now.

"Luke, he, uh, he wants me to go to dinner with him tomorrow," she finally admitted, and his heart sank, not entirely surprised by her words but disliking them wholeheartedly all the same, "I don't want to go but I think I have to. I need to know what he's up to."

Jesse nodded, moving to mirror her seated position, reaching forward and pulling her hands into his lap, waiting until she had made eye-contact with him before responding. "Do what you have to do," he told her, "and if you want me to be there just let me know, okay? I promised Benji that we'd have a Star Wars marathon but I can always cancel, I'm sure he wouldn't mind—"

"—Stop, Jesse," she interrupted, shaking her head firmly, "You know you can't be there; no, you know I won't let you be there." Jesse immediately opened his mouth to protest but before he could get any words out, Beca had cut him off again, speaking over him. "I'll be okay, don't cancel on Benji," she said, but she shot him a grateful smile anyway, "I'll have dinner with Luke and then afterwards, I'll come and join your nerdathon."

Jesse watched her for a few seconds, his mind whirling as he debated whether to push the matter any further but eventually, he just nodded once more, his eyes light, his tone teasing as he replied. "You, of all people, want to watch Star Wars with us? Seriously?"

Beca grinned, a look of relief flashing across her face at his reply. "It wasn't that bad last time," she said, remembering the first time she had watched Star Wars with the two boys all those weeks ago, back when she still wasn't entirely sure what to make of either of them. "I mean, sure, I nearly made Benji hyperventilate but—"

"Nearly?

She rolled her eyes at him, crossing her arms defiantly, until he shrugged his shoulders, looking unbothered by her reaction. "You know, I thought you were the biggest dork ever back then," she told him, leaning forward to pat him on the cheek, so immensely grateful that she had bothered to get to know him and give him Skittles, and for everything that had happened in between.

"And now?"

Beca smirked widely, her hands sliding around the back of his head, roughly tugging him towards her. "Now I know you're the biggest dork," she said, as she closed the distance between their faces, before pushing him back down onto the bed, burying her head into his side as she slid an arm around his waist, imitating their positions from this morning. "Don't even think about it," she warned, as he immediately grinned, opening his mouth to comment, and after considering her words carefully and remembering just how hard her pokes were, he closed it again, staying silent. [For a grand total of five minutes but hey, who was counting?]

Although Beca felt marginally better about having dinner with Luke after talking to Jesse and realising that he had her back no matter what happened, her general opinion about the whole thing remained the same; she didn't want to go, especially alone, but she had to. After all, she knew from past experience that trying to avoid Luke would only lead to more frequent and more serious threats, and besides, she really needed to figure out exactly what he wanted from her before it was too late and he turned her life upside down again.

"You coming in, miss?"

Beca blinked, muttering out a quick apology as she took a step backwards from the doorway of the restaurant that she was currently blocking, sliding her eyes shut as she moved to lean against the wall instead. Considering the fact that she had reluctantly agreed to meet Luke ten minutes ago at this very restaurant, she was pretty sure that he was already inside, but yet, she couldn't quite bring herself to step over the threshold, make herself vulnerable to him again. The truth was, although it made her sound like the most selfish person in the world, given what Luke had threatened to do, she really wished she had accepted Jesse's offer to cancel on Benji and come with her.

Taking a deep breath in an attempt to rid herself of all negative thoughts, she shifted on the spot, forcing herself to think back to this morning and how she had woken up to the sight of Jesse's grinning face hovering over her, slowly but firmly pushing all her nerves and doubts to the back of her mind. As soon as she felt steadier, calmer, she cracked her eyes open again, biting her lip a little harder as she was greeted with Luke, standing right in front of her, his lips quirked in what she was pretty sure was amusement as he watched her.

"Have you got a table?" she asked bluntly, stepping past him and into the restaurant, her fists clenching instinctively at the sight of his smug grin and the realisation that after everything, after Jesse, he still had a significant effect on her.

"Hi to you too, I guess—"

"—Luke, I'm really not in the mood for this," she said, cutting in, gritting her teeth slightly, and Luke shrugged, leading her towards a table, an easy smile still on his face. As soon as they had both sat down and quickly scanned the menu, she didn't waste any more time, crossing her arms as she leant back against the chair, eyeing him suspiciously. "What do you want from me, Luke? Why did you want me to have dinner with you?"

Luke blinked, a look of surprise flashing across his face, before he let out a soft laugh, shaking his head. "You still don't get it, do you?" he asked, and she bit her lip, squinting at him, wishing that he'd just come out and say it, instead of playing all these cryptic mind games, "Let's just…eat first, then we'll talk."

"No, let's talk first, then eat," she retorted automatically, her nails digging into the palms of her hands, leaning across the table to get her point across, her eyes meeting his, "I just, I don't get it, Luke. What could you possibly want from me? If you're planning on stealing my music again, I swear to god, I'm going to—

"—That's not why I'm here," Luke said, smoothly interrupting her, and she slowly raised an eyebrow in surprise, especially because he sounded more sincere than he had ever done before. If he wasn't here to steal her music again and he didn't want her back, well, what did he want? It just didn't make any sense and she wasn't entirely sure what to make of his answer. "Look, Beca, let's just eat first. Please. I swear I'll explain everything afterwards."

She stared at him, her eyebrow still raised, arms still crossed. As Luke showed no sign of backing down, meeting her gaze stubbornly, she sighed loudly. She didn't know whether he was being completely truthful when he said that he would explain everything 'afterwards' but what choice did she have? If she wanted answers from Luke, she was going to have to play along, even though her brain was screaming at her to just walk away, find Jesse, leave.

"Okay," she finally relented, hoping she wasn't making a huge mistake, "Let's eat."

When Jesse had agreed to having a Star Wars marathon with Benji a couple of days ago, he never imagined that it would turn out like this; here they were, in his apartment, Benji sat next to him all decked out in Star Wars merchandise, halfway through watching the first film, and though he'd usually be glued to the screen, swept up in all the sci-fi action, he just couldn't concentrate. All he could think about was Beca, wondering what was happening between her and Luke, wondering whether Luke was trying to blackmail her again, wondering whether she was okay. Jesse let out a sigh, clenching his fists together, forcing himself to focus on the screen in front of him because he knew, deep down, that worrying like this wasn't going to do anyone any good. He needed to just stay calm, try his best not to dwell about what might or might not be happening at this very moment, and watch the film.

"You're distracted," Benji commented quietly from beside him, his eyes still fixed on the screen, and Jesse jumped, startled, shooting him a guilty look, even though he knew that the other boy probably wouldn't pick up on it. "What's wrong, Jesse?"

Jesse shook his head slowly, swallowing. "It's nothing," he replied, running a hand through his hair as he began humming fragments of the Star Wars soundtrack in his head, hoping it would help to distract him from thinking about Luke, "Don't worry about it, just…carry on watching."

Benji contemplated his words for a few quiet seconds, his head tilted, before he suddenly sprung up without warning, sending his limited edition lightsaber flying dangerously near Jesse's face, causing him to jump back in alarm, his hand shooting out to catch it.

"Hey, hey, what are you doing?" Jesse asked, as his fingers curled around the lightsaber, gently passing it back to the other boy, not entirely sure what was happening. Benji just shrugged in response, promptly sitting back down again, shooting him a sheepish, apologetic look as he reached for the remote control, switching the movie off without saying a word. Jesse blinked, his eyes glancing between the now black screen and Benji's face, slowly raising an eyebrow in confusion, wondering what was going on. "Uh, I'm sorry for not paying attention…?"

Benji shook his head, hesitantly inching his hand towards Jesse before thinking better of it and retrieving it, awkwardly sticking it into his pocket. After taking a deep breath, he met Jesse's gaze again, his expression incredibly solemn as he opened his mouth to speak, his tone soft, careful, despite Jesse's continued bemusement at the whole situation: "So, um, where's Beca today?"

"What?"

Benji just shrugged, starting to fidget with the hem of his t-shirt, patiently waiting for an answer, knowing that Jesse had heard his question perfectly well. Jesse stared at him, his mouth slowly falling open, realising that although he had tried to avoid discussing Beca with Benji, not wanting to be that guy, Benji knew more about the whole Luke situation than he let on.

"I'm worried about you, Jesse," Benji said slowly, as Jesse continued to gape at him, still looking stunned by his words, "And…I'm worried about Beca."

Jesse shook his head, forcing himself to plaster a smile onto his face, feeling overwhelmingly guilty for making the other boy worry like this. "It's okay, we're handling it," he said, as reassuringly as he could, but as Benji simply returned his smile, the smile not as bright as it usually was, Jesse sighed, shaking his head again. "Beca's having dinner with Luke right now," he finally admitted, wincing as he watched Benji's forehead immediately furrow, concern suddenly written all over his face.

"She's...having dinner with Luke?" Benji echoed, though it came out more like a statement rather than a question. Jesse ran a hand through his hair, nodding slowly, feeling a bit better about being able to talk about it, having it out in the open. Benji bit his lip, looking thoughtful for a second, before he sprung up from the sofa once more, this time making sure to hold on tightly to his lightsaber lest it whack Jesse in the face, gesturing towards the other boy as he spoke again: "Okay, let's go."

"Go where?"

Benji stared at him for a second, his eyes flashing, before proudly raising his lightsaber in the air as he replied. "To find Beca, of course," he said, speaking over Jesse as he started to protest, insisting that it was fine and that they should just continue watching the rest of the Star Wars movies like they had initially planned to do. "Beca's my friend too," Benji retorted, as he walked towards the door, not waiting to see whether Jesse was following him, "I want to make sure she's okay."

Jesse ran a hand through his hair again, slowly standing up and making his way towards the other boy, shooting him a grateful look. "You're a good friend, Benji," he said, as he reached him, "You're a really, really good friend."

Benji just gave him a wry smile in return, awkwardly lifting his free hand for a high-five. "No," he replied, as Jesse smiled back, raising his own hand, "You are."

Though Beca had endured more than her fair share of awkward dinners in the past – dinners with her ex-boyfriends, dinners with Chloe's ex-boyfriends, dinners with her dad and her stepmother – this one was definitely the most awkward. Neither of them had said a word since Luke had insisted that they eat before discussing whatever it was that he had asked her here for; instead, both of them chose to just stare at each other, arms crossed, eyes locked, silently daring the other to speak. As the food arrived, Luke tilted his head towards the plates but Beca just stared stubbornly back, refusing to touch it until Luke did. With a sigh, Luke reluctantly tore his gaze away from hers, slowly and deliberately eating a mouthful and, after a moment's hesitation, Beca did the same. They ate in silence, Beca's mind whirling as she desperately tried to figure out exactly what he wanted from her, or what was going to happen next, but despite all her thinking, despite all her worrying, nothing could have prepared her for the words that actually came out of Luke's mouth as he finally pushed his plate away, finished with his meal.

"I'm sorry, you what?" she asked, eyebrow raised, hoping that she had misheard and that this was all some cruel, sick joke.

"I need your help, Beca," Luke repeated, slowly moving his gaze towards the ceiling, his words causing Beca to swear under her breath, not entirely sure what was happening but not entirely sure that she wanted to find out either. "Look, I know that I'm not your favourite person right now but—"

"What gave you that impression?"

Luke shot her a look, and she bit her lip, leaning back into her chair, clenching her fists together as she waited for him to continue speaking and hopefully explain what the hell was going on; however, instead of finishing his sentence like she had thought he would, Luke simply continued staring at her, suddenly looking a little unsure, and she frowned, raising an eyebrow again.

"Luke, unless you tell me what you want in the next five seconds, I'm leaving," she said, forcing herself to remain calm, breathing deeply. This dinner was going from being incredibly awkward to incredibly weird. What did Luke need her help for? And…why would he come to her, of all people? It wasn't like they were friends or anything – far from it – despite what he had kept insisting all those weeks ago and what he had told Aubrey.

Luke took a deep breath, casting his eyes skywards again, swallowing once, twice, before speaking. "You're the only one that can help me, Beca," he said, "I, uh, I need you to teach me how to edit music."

She stared at him, hoping once again that she had misheard him, but as Luke didn't say anything else, simply continuing to seem extremely interested in the pattern on the ceiling, she swore loudly, swiftly muttering out an apology as the people on the table behind them turned around, giving her affronted, offended looks.

"You have got to be kidding me," she said, in a slightly quieter voice, fists clenched harder than before, her nails digging painfully into her skin, "Please tell me you're kidding."

Luke just shrugged, slowly shaking his head, meeting her gaze, and she frowned, biting her lip hard, as he had the audacity and nerve to smile at her, as if what he had asked of her was no big deal, as if they were actually friends and she owed him this. "Look, Beca, life's been hard for me lately and I'd really appreciate it if you—"

"Life's been hard for you?" she repeated, her eyebrows raised in disbelief, "Seriously? Jesus Christ, Luke, do you even realise what you did to me?"

"I know I made a mistake and I just—"

"—God, just stop," she said, cutting him off, standing up and throwing her hands in the air, so sick of listening to him, so sick of all these games. Given all the times that Luke had lied to her, she wasn't even sure whether he was being completely truthful with her right now but even if he was, she just…this was too much. "I can't deal with this right now."

Ignoring Luke's protests from behind her, she blindly stood up, walking straight out of the restaurant without a second glance, her head spinning. She stumbled towards the nearest bench, seating herself down, covering her face with her hands as she tried to process what had just happened. Half of her wished she had stayed in the restaurant for a little longer to find out exactly why Luke had made such a odd, and stupid, request, whilst the other half was relieved to be outside, surrounded by fresh air, as her mind got clearer and less muddled with every breath she took.

Beca continued to sit there, unmoving, her head still in her hands, her breathing still heavy, until she froze, straightening up in alarm as she heard someone calling her name. With a sinking heart, she slowly cracked her eyes open, praying that Luke hadn't followed her outside to continue their conversation because quite honestly, she wasn't quite sure what to say to him or whether she was even ready to face him again. Squinting in the direction of the voices, she breathed a sigh of relief as instead of seeing Luke's blond head, she saw two guys running towards her - one of them with a glowing lightsaber in his hand - matching looks of concern on both of their faces.

As they got steadily closer, she stood up, biting her lip as Jesse's frown got more pronounced, waiting until he was a few metres away from her before pausing, slowly and deliberately opening his arms out towards her. She dug her teeth into her lip a little harder before walking forward, burying her head into his chest, feeling his arms wrap around her, shuddering slightly.

"You okay?" she heard him whisper, his tone quiet, worried, and she nodded, meaning it; what Luke had said to her was confusing and impossible to understand but now that she wasn't alone anymore, she felt a little calmer, more able to deal with everything.

As Jesse released her, still frowning, she took a step backwards, taking a deep breath, forcing herself to smile at the two boys, trying her best to convince them that they didn't need to worry about her; however, as Benji glanced towards the restaurant across the road and then back to her again, opening his mouth to speak, her smile quickly vanished, replaced by a look of confusion.

"Beca, what did Luke say to you?" Benji asked quietly, his eyes nervously darting all over the place, shifting his weight from his left foot to his right. Beca stared at him, slowly raising an eyebrow, wondering exactly how much he knew about the whole situation because as far as she could recall, she hadn't ever mentioned Luke to him before. She turned her head, shooting a questioning look at Jesse, but he simply shrugged in response. "I, um, I figured out most of it by myself," he added hastily, looking suddenly guilty, his cheeks going red, gesturing towards a tree several metres away as he continued, "I can, um, stand over there if you want to talk to Jesse alone?"

Beca blinked, slowly shaking her head, taking a step forward, towards him. "No, stay," she said, giving him a smile, realising that she didn't care that Benji knew because not only was it Benji, who was just so overwhelmingly nice and patient and good, but because she also knew that Jesse wouldn't be standing here in front of her right now if it wasn't for Benji - because he had promised her he wouldn't come - and despite all her insisting that she'd be okay going to dinner with Luke alone, she was so glad that they were both here.

"We'll figure out how to deal with this together," she said, leaning back as she felt Jesse's arm wrap itself around her waist, pulling her flush against his chest, "And then…we'll watch Star Wars."

"Sounds good to me," Jesse said, pressing his mouth briefly against her hair, tightening his grip, and she smiled at both of them, so grateful that she had these two nerds in her life, even if one was still brandishing a lightsaber in her direction and the other had a t-shirt on with a stormtrooper print.