A/N: Thank you so much for all the beautiful reviews!

...I will probably not be able to update sooner than Thursday... Circumstances having nothing whatsoever to do with me, but I am sorry, nonetheless:)

Spoiler: Willabeth. (Kidding, kidding, don't shoot ;)

Disclaimer: Disney owns POTC.

Chapter 36

Elizabeth opened the door with a random and ridiculous feeling of being a host of a tea party. She had no idea whether she has ever actually thrown a tea party, but if she has, she was sure that it must have felt like this. She was nervous, and anxious, and strangely exhausted. She tried very hard to keep a smile on her face, and appear friendly. Friendly. Was she supposed to be friendly? If he has done something wrong, maybe she should be less than friendly to him... Then again, if he has done nothing wrong, she probably should be more than friendly... Just friendly then. That should be safe and fair.

"Good morning, Elizabeth", said Will at loss for a better greeting, slightly surprised by his own tone of voice which seemed strangely flat.

He missed her so much. Every day, every night, doing what he was supposed to do, fulfilling all his duties, completing all his chores, the only thing, the only person that was on his mind incessantly, inexorably, permanently for all this time was her. His beautiful wife. And now she was standing right in front of him, as beautiful as ever, her eyes glittering, her lips smiling, her hair falling softly over her shoulders, and what he wanted to do, the only thing he wanted to do was pulling her towards him, embracing her, kissing her, and telling her that he loved her, that every day he has been missing her more and more, that the only comfort he could find sailing through the murky waters on the other side of the world was in thinking of her, dreaming of her, imagining their life together when this burden of his will be at last taken away from him.

And yet, with all these thoughts circulating in his mind, he was unable to move, transfixed by something in her eyes, something that held him back, some distance that he could suddenly sense between them. He told himself that it was because she did not remember him. It must have been just because she did not remember him...

"Good morning", said Elizabeth with a small smile, looking at him unblinkingly, and trying to come up with a name. Of course coming up with a random name may not be such a good idea after all. He might have felt somewhat offended... Oh, Jack could have really at least told her the name. It was rather embarrassing not to know the name of your own hus-

It took her by surprise, that sudden realization, which she had continued to disregard repeatedly, day after day, ...night after night... And just to think that several days ago in Tortuga, she thought it improper to have Jack watch over her at night... And now she was speaking with her... husband, without even feeling guilty for cheating on him... Impeccable moral standards, indeed.

"How are you?", asked Will with a faint smile flickering across his lips.

Elizabeth was about to exclaim: "Wonderful!", or something equally enthusiastic, but then she thought better of it, and smiling nicely said in a calm tone of voice:

"Quite well, thank you. And you?", she inquired almost mechanically.

There was something in her behaviour that vexed him, something in her voice that worried him, something in her that stunned him, but all these elements were impossible to place just yet. Or maybe he just refused to place them? What he found particularly striking in her behaviour was a strange mixture of childish cheerfulness, and mature self-confidence, and neither could he understand the latter (considering the fact that she has lost her memory, and must have been feeling rather lost and confused in the world right now), nor the former, especially that he has never actually seen her that cheerful before, and he could not really imagine the reasons for her being so cheerful in given circumstances.

Then he thought that perhaps it was the lack of sad memories, and her unawareness of all the grievous past events that made it possible for her to be so joyful.

Joyful... But it still rather baffled him, despite his self-created explanations, and it did not cross his mind that perhaps what seemed to him to be joyfulness was, in fact, more like nervousness.

He looked at her, and all of a sudden he forgot about everything, his thoughts have vanished, the world has disappeared, and instead of giving a polite answer to her question, and continue the plain conversation, he took a few steps towards her, and whispered ardently:

"I missed you so much."

And he did not realize his mistake immediately. First, he just saw the her smile fade to a facial expression reflecting, if anything, more like only panic, and fear. And then when he attempted to take her into his arms, he paled noticeably, and took a few steps backwards, wide-eyed, and... was it really it?... Yes... Wide-eyed, and visibly upset.

"Elizabeth", he said in a cracking voice, at the sound of which she grimaced, and he could not tell whether it was because it touched her, or rather annoyed her.

And annoyed her it did. And it scared her too. And it depressed her. Clearly, he behaved as if nothing bad has ever happened between them. As if none of them has done anything wrong. As if, in some strange way, they were still together, as if it was perfectly natural for him to touch her, as if he had some rights to her...

She moved rapidly backwards, and his outstretched hand aimed at initiating an embrace, met with the cold emptiness of transparent air.

"Elizabeth..."

Again. He said her name again in that strange, heartbreaking tone of voice. Heartbreaking... She grimaced. And that sound again. She panicked at the thought of the beating sound enveloping her once again right now, when there was no Jack in sight to make it go away.

"Let's go take a walk", she ordered unexpectedly, in a resolute voice.

Will looked at her sadly, and nodded, while she hurriedly stormed off the cabin, leaving him no chance for catching her hand, and holding it while walking up the stairs, as he had wished and half-planned.

Jack could not stand sitting at the table, just eating and drinking, while his mind was quite ridiculously ablaze, producing some horrid, abstract images that made him feel sick. He looked around the table with disgust. He looked at a bottle of rum, and wrinkled his forehead, upon a sad realization that for the first time in his life, he had no desire to reach for it. He stared blankly at the rum for some time, oblivious to conversations around him (if there were any, he could not tell, paying no attention to his surroundings). Then, mumbling something that nobody could probably understand, stormed off the mess, and headed up the stairs to take the helm.

He released Cotton, who actually looked very surprised to be released (which annoyed Jack for some reason, but maybe only because anything could annoy him at the moment), and stood at the helm, having the impression that he has not been there for a long time.

Partly it was true, partly it was not true... He tried to think about the course, about the heading, about the weather... But his mind very quickly drifted off the safe topic of sailing, and focused on less indifferent matters...

Indifferent matters?! Was sailing an indifferent matter? He clutched the spokes almost absent-mindedly, feeling nothing, nothing particularly profound... Since when? Since when he did not feel that twinge of excitement, that joyous glow in his chest while steering the ship, while standing at the helm of the Black Pearl. He had traded his soul for this ship. And now, it just felt so distant, half-unimportant, strangely blank... It was still enjoyable, in some strangely direct way... but the spiritual dimension was nigh gone, or rather incomplete... Something was missing. Something that could enable him to breath in the magic of the moment, the breeze of the sea, the scent of the ship under the full sails, rolling on the dark blue, greenish waves.

Now there was a proviso. A requirement, that had to be met not only in order to enjoy anything, but even in order to simply retain the plain peace of mind.

Jack frowned, trying to concentrate on the horizon, trying to look into the soothing distance where were hidden all the future destinations, all unknown perils, all hopes for the greatest treasures...

His eyes shifted from the ocean, to the deck, and there it was, the requirement... Didn't she look beautiful in the sunlight? Didn't she look beautiful always... He followed her with his gaze, waiting for her to turn around, thinking-

The sight of Will returned him to the sheer reality. He almost forgot. The conversation. But somehow he rather liked that they got out of the cabin, and went on deck. Now he could at least see them. Now he could see her, and it was easier to endure that inescapable encounter.

He looked at Elizabeth who stood by the railing, looking out at the ocean. Will stood next to her, watching her intently, with a concern, alert, grim expression on his face.

For a moment there, Jack seriously considered walking up to him, and telling him to stay away from his Lizzie. There was something irritating in the image of Will looking at Elizabeth, as if he was trying to drag her away from whichever reality she was in at present, with only that look in his eyes, that look of naive certainty (or was it rather uncertainty?...) that she wanted to be dragged away... that he knew what she wanted... that she wanted what he wanted...

"I want you, Jack."

Perhaps his heart was just scarred by the past, and that was why he was scared of the future. The future. His future was embodied in her. The more he looked at her, from that irritating distance, the more he was beginning to realize that he could not live without her anymore, that he needed her to go on, to be able to breath, to be able to look at the sea with joy. He needed her hands wrapped around his neck, he needed her eyes gazing into his, he needed her lips pressed against his every morning, every night, to even start thinking about anything else.

Living required being loved by her. Otherwise-

He stiffened, watching her turn towards Will, smiling.

Will looked at Elizabeth confusedly, when she (at last) turned to face him, smiling, although he did not really know why. What could possibly be funny about the fact that when she had spotted him in the water when they first met, he was half-drowned?...

But Elizabeth was not smiling, because she found it amusing to hear that Will was found half-dead in the middle of the ocean. She smiled (quite involuntarily) at the thought that it was rather interesting that she, in a way, had rescued him from drowning, and later on she was rescued from drowning... by Jack.

Jack... She tried to concentrate, and focus on... whatever his name was. (She really felt uncomfortable not even knowing his name.) She looked at him, and suddenly felt sincerely sorry for her carefree attitude. Truth to be told, she did not feel as cheerful as she appeared to be, but somehow she found it easier to behave in this way, because it sheltered her (or at least she believed so) from the seriousness which could easily overtake the conversation. And she did not want the conversation to turn serious, and lead to discussing some serious matters, although she did not know where she wanted to take this conversation either...

W (maybe she should at least just come up with a name for her personal use only?) seemed to be a very kind, calm, and nice person. Nevertheless, unfortunately, she felt that there was definitely something wrong with the fact that her impressions of him were limited to four-letter adjectives... If they were married...

"Elizabeth?", his voice shook her out of her musings, and she realized that she was not listening to what he must have been saying for at least several past minutes.

"I've been wondering...", she started just for the sake of saying something, "was our... marriage... arranged?", she blurted out, and regretted almost immediately at the sight of W's face turning pale.

"Arranged?", he repeated disbelievingly, clearly shocked.

"I-I'm sorry, I just... Because you said... that we've known each other since childhood... And I just thought that... I'm sorry", she decided to quit her vague explanation, because it seemed to only worsen the situation, and making W look even more sad that he had looked before.

Will stared at her unblinkingly, not really knowing what to say. Did she just suggest what he thought she suggested?

"What did he exactly tell you, Elizabeth?", asked Will cautiously, slightly wrinkling his forehead, looking at Elizabeth questioningly.

Elizabeth blinked, thinking about his question. Did he mean Jack?

"Do you mean Jack?", she decided to ask him straight-forwardly.

"Yes, I mean Jack", answered Will with some difficulty, struck by the way in which Elizabeth said Jack's name. He remembered her usually saying that name with a light frown, a constant trace of impatience or annoyance in her voice. And now, she said it so softly, that it almost, for a change, annoyed him.

"Not much, really", she muttered with a faint, half-nervous smile. Not even your name, actually.

"He didn't tell you why we were... we are... we will be for some time yet separated?", asked Will in a low tone of voice, suddenly changing the topic.

Elizabeth looked at him, baffled.

Will snorted slightly. "Did he tell you anything at all? Anything at all about us?"

Us. Elizabeth blinked, an image flashing across her mind. Jack's face, his dark eyes glimmering in the darkened space, staring at her with hypnotizing intensity, when his lips slowly descended upon hers, and the world existed no longer...

"Elizabeth."

She blinked again, and looked at Will as if he has just appeared out of nowhere. Was he repeating her name all the time only to make her feel more guilty that she did not know, that is, remember his?

He stepped closer to her, looking at her concernedly. Maybe he was tiring her, maybe that head injury had some impact on her ability to concentrate, and a long conversation was just making her feel strenuous?

"I'm all right!", exclaimed Elizabeth in a slightly panicky tone of voice, once again moving away from him, when he only tried to barely touch her hand.

It hurt him that in some strange way she was scared of him, but he tried to explain to himself that right now he was merely a stranger to her, and all her trust was hidden somewhere in her mind along with her memory. And he could not expect her to know anything of the past... And actually, he could not expect Jack to tell her much about the past, for that matter. When was he supposed to do that? One evening could not be enough.

"I'm sorry, Elizabeth", said Will quietly, looking at Elizabeth sadly, struggling to smile. "I just don't know what to say... I was... only thinking about you for all this time", he looked at her with a glimpse of some amazingly strong emotion in his eyes. She stared at him, strangely terrified, not sure she wanted to hear what he had wanted to say. "And you don't know... don't remember why", he paused, and once again reached for her hand, and this time, either because he seemed so desperate, or because she was listening to him so intently, that she did not notice the upcoming gesture, she actually let him got hold of her hand. "And you may have wondered why I wasn't there when you needed me", Will's voice sounded more firmly now. He eagerly locked her hand in his, before she made an attempt to draw her hand away. "I should've been there when that accident had happened... I should've been with you, but I... couldn't", he trailed off, exhausted.

"Why?", she asked in a whisper, overwhelmed but the solemnity, and sadness in his voice, only subconsciously noticing that he was holding her hand in his.

He looked at her, and took one more step towards her. "I'm bound to that ship for ten years", he said with a grimace, glancing at the Flying Dutchman. Elizabeth followed his gaze."Ten years I can't step on land. Neither can I take you with me... But after those ten years will be over we'll be together", he said, smiling at last, if only faintly.

She stared at him in bewilderment, not seeming to understand a single word he had said.

"You mean", she started, withdrawing her hand from his, her eyes wandering around the deck absently in an effort to comprehend his words, "you didn't leave me, or I you, you mean it was something... external, that-"

"Leave you?", Will broke in incredulously. "Elizabeth. How could I leave you?", he almost exclaimed, cupping her face in his hands, her eyes widening in strangely displeased astonishment. "I love you", he whispered tenderly, looking her deeply in the eyes, smiling at her weakly.

She looked at him unblinkingly, and he suddenly noticed how pale she was right now. She slowly raised her hand, and for a moment he thought that she was going to touch his face, or his hand, but instead, the only thing that she did, was brushing his hands away from her face.

"You love me too", he whispered resolutely, staring at her expectantly, feeling a twinge of cold pain, when she silently, awkwardly shook her head, grimacing.

He wanted to take her hand in his once again, he looked at her hand, and- He wrinkled his forehead. He knew that ring. He saw it before. It was-

So that was what it was all about, then. Suddenly million thoughts began running across his mind. The doctor had said that she was not supposed to be told of the past... He snorted to himself bitterly. And it was apparently just another famous lie of infamous Captain Jack Sparrow. And he probably had no intention of telling him that Elizabeth was aboard the Black Pearl. Probably? Certainly. Somehow, he must have found out about Elizabeth's accident, and he had decided to take advantage of the situation... It was so obvious. It was his plan unfortunately interrupted by Will's appearance... No doubt... He had taken her wedding ring... Maybe she even did not know...

"Let's go", said Will all of a sudden, grabbing Elizabeth, who was standing silently completely lost in thought at the moment, by the hand.

"Where?", she almost shouted, trying to brake free, but his grasp was surprisingly strong.

"On the Flying Dutchman. I show you... around the ship", he said as calmly as possible, his mind on fire, his heart racing. He just wanted to take her away from here, away from this ship, away from him as fast as possible.