Hey...as always, if you're reading this, thank you.

For those of you who take the time to give me feedback, I want you to know your words are invaluable and help me with the writing process. For those of you who do not, you make me a sad panda...

Warning: This chapter will have NO Spemily. AND I'm going to focus on my unhealthy Quinntana obsession for a few weeks.

Enjoy...maybe

Loving Spencer was the easiest, most difficult thing Aria had ever experienced, and she assumed it would be that way for the rest of their lives. Easy, because Spencer is sweet and generous. The type of person to give you the shirt off her back. She's a friend who knows when to push and when to back off. The type of woman who would drop everything without so much as a second thought if you needed her. It's very easy to love how comfortable she was in her own skin which was admirable. And easier to love how she's non-judgmental.

Aria had spent most of her life doing whatever and whoever she wanted and Spencer never even lifted a brow. All she did was listen and offer advice when Aria would take it. Perhaps even easier to love is the amount of affection she gives. Aria never has to settle for one-armed hugs of lifeless kisses. Hell, Spencer was her first kiss, and she is one of the most special people in the world as far as she is concerned. Affection wasn't something Aria easily accepted but Spencer had always been an affectionate kid and that only grew the older she got. Yes, Spencer was very easy to love. Her care free spirit, her big heart, her loyalty, just...her. Aria thought that no one could love anyone more than she loved Spencer.

There were only a handful of people Aria knew she truly loved. Spencer, Toby, Mike, her mom and dad, Ezra. That was it. She didn't have any family in the states, most of her mom's side of the family still lived in Greece and her dad's side was non existent. She didn't have too many friends either. Spencer and Toby were more than enough to fill her friend quota.

Boyfriends? That was a joke. Aria never in her life thought a man would be capable of capturing her heart and she was even more certain that she never wanted the responsibility of having someone's heart in her hands. Then Ezra happened and altered the way she's wired.

But Spencer, Spencer always has and always will be the most important person in her life. The person she knows without any shadow of a doubt, that she cannot live without. The separation anxiety she suffers from when she's not in her presence is so strong it's almost tangible.

The woman's simply a joy.

Aria never asked, mainly because she knew the answer, but she always thought that if they weren't in each other's lives, then Spencer would have never hesitated to go to Hawaii to live with her then fiancé. Knowledge of this made Aria's heart twist uncomfortably for months after their break up. She only felt the slightest bit of relief when her best friend started sleeping around with strangers. Still, she knew she was partially responsible for Spencer's adamant decision to call off the engagement.

As easy as Spencer was to love, was almost equally as difficult for Aria.

If she were gay, her and Spencer would have the most epic love story to tell. A story that little girls fantasize about when they watch the prince rescue the princess. A love story so unbelievable Hollywood would come banging on their door to make a sickeningly sweet romantic movie about it. However, she wasn't gay. Her love affair with the Dominican happened because having sex with a woman was on her bucket list, the girl wouldn't stop trying to get in her pants, and she had to admit, the girl was as hot as every inch of hell. Crossing making it with a chick of her list aside, she had no romantic feelings towards woman. Sure she would occasionally see one she would totally roll in the hay with, but after the Dominican she thought it best not to get a girl's hopes up. Women were just too emotional.

The difficulty in loving Spencer, more times than not, lied with her sexuality. She'd be lying if she didn't sorta imagine once, maybe twice, what it would be like, but those thoughts were always quickly dismissed. It was sometimes a struggle to think about what could be oppose to actually being. Her and Spencer once had a drunken conversation about what it would be like if she were gay. Aria admitted how in love with Spencer she was, but how that love never quite reached the romantic variety. She couldn't see herself throwing Spencer up against a wall and ripping her clothes off. They would be like an old married couple who walked hand in hand on the beach and had separate twin beds like in the fifties. That was what was so difficult for Aria though. Often she felt confused by how deep her love ran but how it came up just short of wanting to have crazy monkey sex with Spencer.

There was no passion there, just feelings. Very strong, intense feelings. Spencer's been a permanent fixture since the day they met and not having Spencer around felt like the most important part of her was missing. That has always been difficult for Aria. It's always been a struggle walking the line that is loving Spencer. Knowing that Spencer's love is just as intense, just as deep. So deep that she gave up her fiancé, something Aria thinks about daily. That was more than difficult. Loving Spencer was hard. Spencer loving her back with equal amounts of adoration was hard. Knowing they could barely be away from each other was hard. It was difficult and complicated.

Their relationship has always been difficult to explain to other's. Until last year, when Meilani called them out on how "close" they are, she never examined their "closeness" or how they may seem to people on the outside looking in. She didn't want to have sex with Spencer, that would be gross. She didn't want to be Spencer's girlfriend, that would be weird, no matter how much they care for each other. All she knew, all she could explain was that she didn't know how to be anything other than a cuddle monster when it came to her best friend. When they kissed on the lips, there was never any arousal surging through her body. Even on the few occasions she's given Spencer a lingering kiss, one that might be construed as sexual, there was never anything there. She loves and appreciates Spencer so much and sometimes those feelings come out in the form of kisses. Whether they're on her lips or all over her face.

Yes. Her relationship and uncontrollable feelings for Spencer came to her easily, but not without difficulty.

Others might think them to be weird, maybe "too" close. Some might be confused when Aria utters how "in love" she is with her best friend. She is though. She's so in love with Spencer it scares her.

To Aria, being in love with someone isn't always romantic. In fact, before Ezra came into her life, she had never experienced romantic love. To her, being in love wasn't completely about the feeling, that's not what the term meant to her. It was about the profound respect you have for the individual. Love isn't a word to Aria, it's actions, it's something deep in your soul that can't be explained and that never goes away. Love is everlasting. Being in love is a state of being therefore permanent. Aria knew she'd never stop loving Spencer, she knew that. She knew her emotions were separate from the state she's in. Sometimes emotions caused her to hate Spencer, sometimes Spencer made her cry. Emotions are ever-varying. Being inside of love is unconditional and it's forever. Much like a parent can say they are in love with their child, that's what her love for Spencer felt like. Something so intrinsically true. Something wild, untamed.

Times like these, when her deep love for Spencer was on display, was the most difficult. Moments when she wanted to slap the taste out of Spencer's mouth made her intense love taste bitter.

Lately, within the last two years or so, she noticed a mild shift in Spencer. Right around the time they began their teaching careers. At first Aria thought Spencer was still sour about her family issues. Maybe even still heartbroken over Maya. But one lie after another made Aria realize Spencer's shift was deeper than her mommy issues. Let's not even talk about her daddy issues. And completely surpassed her lingering feelings for the actress. To other's, the change went undetected, to Aria it couldn't have been more obvious. Aria kept mum on it, waiting and wanting to see how things would unfold. The Maya lie did her in and when she saw Maya for the first time, it was Spencer she wanted to punch in the face. Since she would never dream of striking Spencer, Maya made a good alternative. Sure she still felt raw about the actress' treatment of her best friend but seeing Maya so close to Spencer, she knew she just knew that wasn't the first time they'd seen one another. She knew Spencer had kept that a secret, and she was livid.

A few more lies, a few more uncovered secrets, and almost a year later, Aria witness something scandalous. Emily Fields and Spencer wrapped up in a hug like they were the only two people inhabiting the earth. Aria knows Spencer, well. Just like she knew about Maya, was just like she knew Spencer was madly in love with her student. Emily had always been ridiculously obvious if Aria was telling the truth. She spied her lusting after Spencer on their very first day when Emily was just fourteen.

Not for one second did Aria think Spencer would do it. She seemed quite oblivious to her student's affection but what she saw in Spencer's eyes that day, that said it all. Still, she was about ninety percent certain Spencer would never, ever have sex with her student. Maybe when the girl was eighteen and Spencer wouldn't be her teacher anymore. Then it would be really hot. Spencer would be twenty-six with a hot ass eighteen year old as her arm candy. Sure it would still be a bit unethical because of the former student teacher relationship but at least it would be legal. At least Spencer wouldn't go to federal prison if anyone were to find out. That, Aria could handle, but this, this was eating away at her.

She should have known Emily would be at Samara's grave. Now she was heartbroken and annoyed. Samara's eighteenth birthday snuck up on Aria. She'd put a reminder in her phone when Samara asked her too. The then sixteen year old Samara informed Aria that she wanted her to be the first person to take her to a strip club when she turned eighteen. Excited, Aria put a reminder in her phone right then and the morning when she woke up on her couch with Mike cuddled tightly against her, the reminder brought her to tears. Mike groggily held her and didn't ask the reason behind her tears. She was so grateful for the people in her life that knew her well enough to know, she hates questions. She talks when she feels like it and Mike is one of those people who understands. He might poke around but he never pushes.

After cooking her only sibling breakfast, which was more like lunch, she asked him if he wanted to spend some time with Spencer. Of course he did, he loves Spencer almost as much as she does. Emily's presence in Spencer's apartment was noticeable even as she stood out in the hallway with Mike. Normally when Spencer answered the door, she'd barge right in but Mike was with her and he'll be attending school with Emily, a grade lower, but they'll still be in the same building. Aria simply waited for Spencer's cue to throw Mike off, which she knew she'd give, and waited in the hallway.

Mike walked her down to her car and opened the door for her like the gentleman he is. She looked up at her little brother from her seated position. He was hella handsome if anyone wanted to ask her. His hair just as dark, his eyes just as bright as her own. They looked just alike. Two really hot half Greek siblings with evenly distributed amounts of sexiness and adorableness. Not everyone can pull off the hot-without-even-trying look, but the Montgomery children, in Aria's biased opinion, clearly did. He smiled a crooked smile, one that reminded her so much of her own, and he engaged her in the mindless chit-chat she initiated, waiting to see Emily exit the building. Mike told her that if she wanted to talk about her crying fit earlier, he was "totally gonna listen." But if not, she could feel free to cry on his shoulder anytime day or night. Her heart warmed and she momentarily forgot about how upsetting the day was without Samara and how pissed she was at Spencer for having Emily over. The warmth ran cold when she spotted Emily walking out and unlocking her bike. She asked Mike to give her a kiss on the cheek and shoed him off to go spend time with Spencer.

Driving to the only cemetery in Rosewood was pretty much the least fun thing she'd ever done. After she purchased two dozen white roses, she drove straight to Wine & Spirits, knowing she'd need to hit the bottle hard later, then off to Samara's final resting place.

Emily was there. Shit. Right there talking animatedly in the direction of the tombstone behind her, reaching in her bag for something. Rage. Annoyance. Sorrow. All mixed up into one very unpleasant knot in her throat that trickled down to her heart then kicked her in the gut. She wanted some alone time with Samara but Emily looked as if she was set up to be there for a while. She sighed and turned her car off. Suddenly she was grateful for Emily's unwanted presence, this gave her the chance to give her a piece of her mind.

Now Aria didn't really think Emily was an idiot . She thought she was behaving idiotically, but she knew she wasn't stupid. However, Aria had to make a point, she had to let Emily know how much of a child she actually is. The girl was running with the big dogs expecting to not get trampled or bit. Aria had to knock her down a few pegs. If that was going to be accomplished, she had to do it through insults. Emily was right about one thing though, the girl loved Samara, and Samara loved her. Samara would gush to Aria about Emily long before Spencer accidentally found out. Samara said that her best friend Noel was great but he was a guy who didn't offer much wisdom nor did he excel at "girl talk". So she asked Aria to be the ear that she talks off, Aria said yes without thinking about it. She adored Samara. She didn't like to play favorites but the spunky girl was most definitely her favorite, without even trying. They just connected and could talk for hours.

Somewhere, deep down inside, she knew Emily really loved Spencer. That love didn't stop their current situation from being dangerous. It didn't lessen Aria's disgust or fear. The two are eight years apart, how could this possibly work?

The vice principal was the one who told Aria about the accident. She turned on the news and it was true, Samara had been killed by some idiot evading arrest. Things like that wasn't suppose to happen in Rosewood, and seventeen year old girls weren't supposed to have their life taken. Aria was crushed and after sobbing quietly for what felt like eternity, she looked at her clock and realized first period was over. She needed her best friend's arms around her. Ignoring the fact that Spencer's number one reaction was her fear for Emily, she fell in her arms. Spencer's arms was the only place she wanted to be at that moment. However, she knew a storm was about to pour down over them and it had nothing to do with the life that was just lost. So she waited. Low and behold, half a year later, Spencer was having sex with the girl she feared for on that fateful day.

Emily looked damaged by every word Aria threw at her as if each letter had a blade that cut her deeper and deeper. Funny thing was, walking away, she shook her head because she knew that Emily had even less intention to stay away than Spencer did. Shame. Spencer seemed happy with Emily. When they would talk about her Spencer lit up in a way Aria had never seen, not even when she was co co bananas over Maya back in high school. Although she could clearly see how special their connection is, it didn't quell her fear for Spencer's future and safety. To her knowledge, Emily's dad is a military man. How will he react? There was no scenario where Aria saw him being okay with Spencer and Emily's relationship. What if they get caught before the girl reaches her eighteenth birthday? Even scarier, what if Emily gets bored. The likelihood, in Aria's eyes, of that happening was low, but the girl is sixteen and she could very well outgrow Spencer. What if they spend six years together, happy and in love. Spencer would be thirty, Emily only twenty-two. Those are vastly different points in one's life. At the moment where they are mentally and emotional is already a huge discrepancy. But thirty and twenty-two, that's a world apart.

Aria couldn't stand the thought of Spencer's heart being broken, and even less, the thought of Emily doing the breaking. So, yes she was harsh towards Emily, a stone cold bitch really, but she thought it vital for Emily to know where she stands. She thinks she's too young and she does not approve. The sullen look on Emily's face made it clear that she'd gotten her point across. She laid her flowers down and spoke to Samara.

"I'm really sorry about the drama on your birthday but come on Sammy, this is really fucked up. I know you're turning in your grave over this shit, I would be. I can't wrap my head around this, you know? Just...just do me a favor, watch out for them two, like do some scary ghost shit if you have to. Just don't let them get caught, if you can prevent it. Sammy, please, I'm begging you, don't let them get caught." She sighed and thought about stealing one of the Reese's cups that Samara, clearly, wouldn't be able to eat. "Damn I miss your crazy ass. I really, really miss you actually and I hope...I hope you're resting with God. I'll see you on your next birthday, yeah?" She stood up. "Bye Sammy."

She took a left out the cemetery and even though it was the middle of the day, she made good on her birthday promise.

Some random stripper with huge fake boobs had her ass in Aria's lap. She was sitting in a private room at Onyx in Philadelphia. The stripper's ass in one hand and a shot of tequila in the other.

"I thought I told you, no touching." The stripper named Geisha leaned back and whispered seductively.

"I thought I told you that ass was too fat for me not to touch. Get up, bend over, and make it clap." Aria reached over to her right where her pile of one dollar bills were sitting, grabbed some, and threw them in the air. The stripper did as instructed and Aria playfully slapped her wiggling cheeks. "Damn girl, you're a pro." She laughed when Geisha shot her a look.

"Duh."

"Right, my bad." Birthday Song by 2 Chainz started blaring from the speakers and Aria got excited. She poured herself and her stripper companion another shot, and stood up to dance with her. Geisha twerked better than the girls in the music video and Aria was loving every second of it. Geisha faced Aria and turned her around, bending her over in one swift motion. She grinded her front on Aria's ass and gave it a couple smacks for good measure. They danced out the remainder of the song and Aria asked for another lap dance. When the stripper put her hands on Aria's thighs as she sat in her lap, to bend forward a little, Aria pulled on her string bikini. Geisha's flirty smile made Aria offer one of her own. Geisha tossed her bikini top to the other side of the couch and leaned back. Aria took a fist full of ones and rubbed them up and down Geisha's front. Geisha's hips rolling made Aria's overly active sex drive speed up. She let the bills fall and cupped Geisha's full breast.

"You really don't know how to listen do you?" Geisha purred.

"Nope." She smirked and squeezed both her hands that were spilling over. Geisha turned around to straddle Aria, her hips still grinding.

"You know what I would love to do right now?"

"Is it going to cost me more money?"

"It wouldn't cost you a thing except earth shattering orgasms." She responded smugly.

"I'm listening."

The thick, brown-skinned stripper leaned closely to Aria's ear, her breasts rubbing in all the right places. Aria's hands instinctively went behind Geisha, grabbing as much ass as she could. "I want to fuck the shit out of you with my strap." She pulled back and their eyes met.

"You offer strap on sex to all your customers."

"Of course not but..."

"But what."

"I never get turned on in here, mostly because it's all men and I'm a lady lover, but even with the women, I keep it professional."

"And now."

"Now? You got me wet as fuck. And I would love nothing more than to see what your face looks like when you come."

"Fuck." Aria threw her head back. She was moderately drunk, horny and lonely. Ezra was in Seattle with his grandparents, who were apparently loaded, something she didn't find out until recently. He had already spent a couple of weeks in Pittsburg with his parents. He told her he couldn't wait to get back to be with her and to hang out with Mike, but next week couldn't come fast enough. Here was this sexy as hell stripper offering no strings attached orgasms, just the way she liked them, until Ezra that is. She wanted to, she wanted to let this stripper fuck her so bad. Her desire to forget about Emily and Spencer and her parent's divorce, by losing herself in emotionless sex looked appetizing. That was the old Aria though. The one who cheated on Ezra already and didn't plan on doing it again. She looked at Geisha and it dawned on her, she wanted to spend the rest of her life with Ezra. Never before had she been with someone who made her want to be with them and only them, that's how she felt and she knew that was priceless.

"As much as I'd love to ride your plastic dick, and believe me I would, I mean they never go soft, you could fuck me all day, but I can't."

"Why not sexy?"

"I have a boy...boyfriend." She struggled to say. "And I love him, I don't want to cheat on him, even with your fine ass. But, what you could do for me is put all your clothes back on and strip for me again." Geisha got up to do just that as Aria made it rain dollar bills again.

"Rough day?" Mike asked when he sat by Aria. She text him to say she was back home and he could come up whenever, she wasn't expecting him to come right away, but she was happy about it all the same.

"Ugh...I'm just a little drunk, that's all."

"Wanna talk about this?"

"A student of mine passed away not too long ago, today's her birthday."

"I'm so sorry to hear that Aria. You two were close?"

"Yeah. We were." Mike pulled Aria into his arms and she laid her head on his chest. "You're a good brother." She told him after he held her for a little while. She pulled out his embrace and cuddled into his side.

"You're a great sister."

"I know." She replied cockily. "Michael, why didn't you tell me things were as bad as they were at home?"

He shrugged. "I don't know, I mean you're here and I was there and..."

"And?! When you called and said you needed me, was I not there for you? You asked if you could live here, did I not take you in?!"

"Yeah but..."

Aria sat up straight, looking at her brother. "But nothing! You can always come to me, I don't give a fuck if I'm on the moon, I'll find the first space ship to get to you as fast as possible. You understand?"

"Yeah, yeah. I get it. I'm sorry. I really just didn't want to burden you with mom and dad's stuff. You're out the nest you know, you don't have to deal with that crap."

"I may be grown and on my own, but their still my parents and this still...well sucks."

Aria saw Mike fighting his tears. "I know it's just...I don't know." He hung his head sadly.

"Mike, I didn't' know you were so...sad." She patted the top of his head.

"I'm not a dog Aria."

"Sorry, I'm just not used to comforting a man like this, guys don't cry."

"That's what's wrong with this world."

"Huh?"

"Society tells us it's not okay for a man to cry then we as men perpetuate that notion by trying to act hard all the time. Then men end up emotionally damaged, unable to express anything but anger and sexual desire. It's okay for a man to cry Aria, I don't want to cry but I can't remember ever being this sad in my life. I feel like a part of me has died and that's just..."

"Mike I'm sorry. Shit...when did you get so smart?" Her smile was wide and full of pride.

"It probably happened when I came out the womb."

She snickered at his mock arrogance and hugged him tight. "Mikey, you have me okay and I'm not going anywhere. Actually," She pulled back. "I was thinking of buying a house, and maybe asking Ezra if he...maybe wanted to get rid of his little studio."

"And what?" Mike began. "Move in with us? Into a house, like a family?"

It was devastating thinking of Mike growing up in a broken home. Apparently he couldn't handle it either which is why he asked to live with her. She wanted to make sure he never felt broken again. She wanted to provide a loving, stable environment. "Well...yeah. If that's okay with you?"

"I think that's a great idea, I like him a lot." Mike met Ezra on multiple occasions, in fact they hit it off fairly easy.

"I promise you Mike, you'll never feel like our home is broken, I'll make sure you're happy, okay?" Promises were important to Aria. She thought that if a person didn't have their word, they didn't have anything at all. This was a promise she'd raise every demon from hell just to keep.

"I love you Aria." He pulled her in for yet another hug, this one just a little tighter.

"I love you too little brother. More than life."

Aria's loved Spencer for most of her life. She's loved her for so long and so deeply that she doesn't even remember what it's like not to have her in her heart. Sometimes she felt like when she met Spencer, a separate heart started to grow, one that was reserved for only Spencer to occupy. At the moment, things were messy and beyond complicated and her best friend wouldn't heed her advice. At the moment, she was more than aware of her love for Spencer, how easily it came to her, how nothing could change it. As she laid in bed trying but failing to find sleep, she thought of the difficulties that came with such a pure, unadulterated love.

Yes, Spencer was oh so easy to love, and just as difficult.

(Guest reviews appear in email before website. How neat)

From: Guest

You are so fucking annoying, its just a story stop being so damn butthurt

Nice review, thanks. Yes "guest" it is just a story, one I don't have to write. In the famous words of Heath Ledger "If you're good at something, never do it for free." Writers on this website do all this for free. For your enjoyment. If you don't like that I'm "Butthurt" don't read.

Even though I wrote this to be a smart ass, I REALLY liked exploring Aria like this. Plus some of you have been confused about Aria's feelings and intentions...so I'm pleased with how this turned out.

Hey make sure you check out my reviews on this in a couple of hours, I'm sure there will be more hate for me to laugh at such as this disrespectful review above. (I really dislike being cursed at)

So until next time people. Maybe check out my Quinntana fics to hold you over on this one?

Kisses...

-Management