A/N: Happy New Year, everyone! ...Yes, I do realize it's February.

I apologize for my month of absence. I finished 2014 off still pretty busy with family and friends, as well as school and a bad cold occupying me for the month of January. With it, I lost my time and motivation to write, oi.

Though, I think part of it was I found myself wanting to explore the Avengers characters without Maggie around. For those of you who follow me as an author outside of this story, you probably saw I uploaded that oneshot "All That's Left is a Ghost of You" a few weeks ago which just features the six of them. Wow, you can probably tell what mood I was in when I wrote that, sheesh. I guess I have been feeling kinda down on and off lately. I dunno, I always abhorred the month of January, because it's starting all over again. After finishing a semester and finals and everything, we just go on to do it all again, which is not very bright. Not to mention, I generally enjoy the second half of a year, with summer and fall holidays and all that, so there's that.

But enough of the mopey stuff! And on with an explanation to this... Strange chapter. In a fit of bad writer's blocked, I texted my best friend in real life (the only person I've opened up to about my fanfiction author double life, hehe). She prompted me using an experience she had with her own sister once upon a time, an unconventional experience similar to when a child gets into the habit of biting people.

So, have fun reading this one, guys, and shoutout to you and all your awesomeness, LiCl! Hope this doesn't disappoint. :P I tried my best to stay true to your prompt. Love ya!

Thanks for all the faves/follows/reviews! You all are cooler than Jesus Christ holding garlic twists. ;)

"JARVIS! Call Cap and Natashalie down here immediately!"

"Certainly, sir." The AI responded, almost sounding sympathetic, as Tony grumbled, wiping his damp cheek. He needed to have a serious talk with the two parenting Avengers.

How their daughter had learned to act like a dog and lick everything - and everyone - was beyond him; all he knew was it was gross, unsanitary, and a habit that needed to end now.

"Stark, what's the problem? Toddler too much for you?" Came Natasha's teasing voice as the two Avengers strolled into the room. The redhead was wearing a smirk, while Steve looked a bit more concerned at the urgent call.

"Mama!" Maggie came rushing into the room, as she had been hiding after declaring to Tony they were playing hide and seek a few minutes before. It appeared she gave up when her parents decided to show up. "Daddy!"

Steve hoisted the three year old up with an exaggerated groan of effort, which elicited a giggle from her. Natasha raised a questioning eyebrow in Tony's direction, to which the genius just groaned.

"Come on, now, she's just acting innocent! She's evil, I tell you!" Tony accused, pointing a finger at the toddler who was more invested in poking Steve's face and laughing at his discomfort. "Do you know what she did to me?"

"Well, considering the fact that you're still standing, I'm going to assume not much." Steve quipped as he held Maggie out a little ways away from him, to avoid getting poked in the eye by accident. "I think you're overreacting to whatever it is."

"No way! Your daughter licked me!" Tony exclaimed, pointing to his cheek. "She just waltzed up to me, asked me if I wanted to know a secret, so I said, sure, why not, and then I bent down to listen to her, but then, out of nowhere, she licked my cheek! It wasn't even a kiss or anything, she just licked me! Then she said I was 'it' for hide and seek, and ran away!"

Natasha held back her amused laughter at Tony's dramatic explanation. He was making a big deal out of nothing, in her opinion. There were worse things Maggie could do, like biting or hitting. Not to mention, out of all the people that were perfect for 'licking' and just freaking out in general, Tony Stark was by far the most amusing to get a reaction out of.

Truth be told, she was pretty proud of her daughter.

"Oh, wipe that grin off your face, Natashalie! It was a very traumatic experience." Tony grumbled, shaking his head. "I can't believe we raised her this way. Unbelievable."

Steve curiously noted how Tony was including himself in Maggie's raising with the word 'we.' "Again, I think you're overreacting." He rolled his eyes as Maggie played with the collar of his shirt.

"Crybaby." Natasha coughed under her breath.

Tony huffed. "Fine! Don't take me seriously! Just wait until you send her off to preschool, and she starts licking everyone and everything around her, and gets infected with all kinds of germs! We'll see who will be laughing then."

"It's probably just a phase, Tony. Geez, she'll grow out of it as long as people like you don't make a huge deal out of it." Natasha insisted. She then shot him a pointed look. "Must I bring up the 'pizza' and 'shoelace' episode as an example again?"

"That was different! This is actually a bad thing!"

As Tony and Natasha continued to argue on the morals and ethics of licking versus swear words, Steve sighed. He turned back to Maggie, looking at her curiously. "Did you really lick Uncle Tony?"

Maggie nodded. "Uh-huh! It was funny." She then glanced over at the bickering heroes, and whispered to Steve as if it were secret, "He screamed like a little girl!"

Steve resisted the urge to laugh, because he didn't want to encourage more licking from Maggie, but still found the entire situation hilarious. He also found Maggie's learning and application of the phrase, "like a little girl," equally amusing. She probably picked it up from the archer and billionaire. "Well, it's probably not a good idea to lick people anymore, okay? You might catch some bad germs from them."

Maggie's eyes widened. "Is Uncle Tony sick!?"

"Not this time, kiddo, but I'm not sure about the next time you lick him." Steve chuckled, shaking his head. "For now, try to keep your tongue inside your mouth, okay?"

"Okay!" Maggie agreed loyally, but knowing her, it would take a lot more than that to break a developing mischievous habit.

"Uncle Clint, I'm gonna lick you!" Maggie approached Clint, sticking her tongue out, trying to appear threatening. He just sighed, used to this routine by now.

"Kid, what is your deal? Why are you so obsessed with licking people lately?" He asked as he held her away at arm's length. "What happened to regular kisses?"

"Kisses are boring; licking is better!"

"No way, licking is gross. What would you do if I licked you?"

"You won't lick me!"

"How do you know?"

"Because I just know!"

Now Maggie was really starting to sound like her mother, Clint internally reflected. She ceased in her attack after a few moments, withdrawing to return to her toys on the ground a few feet away.

Clint was baffled; why was she so invested in the idea of licking - out of all things -people lately? There had been the initial incident with Tony days earlier, and since then she had managed to catch both of her parents, Pepper, Thor (which was a very amusing reaction), and Clint himself off guard with her tongue. Now, Natasha and Steve were starting to actually see to breaking the new habit, while Tony paraded around the tower with a huge, "I told you so!". The only person Maggie had yet to get was Bruce, who had been absent for most of the incidents.

"Mags, only dogs and other animals lick people; people don't lick people."

Maggie pouted. "I like doggies!"

"That doesn't mean you have to act like one…" Clint thought for a moment, then snapped his fingers when an idea popped into his head. "Oh, I know just what to do to break this habit of yours!"

She had already tuned him out, instead focusing on her Disney princess dolls and superhero action figures. It was an interesting crossover, in Clint's opinion, but he discarded that thought; he had an idea of how to proceed now.

"Maggie, do you wanna go take a trip and see Uncle Brucie?"

Bruce, who still had yet to be victimized by the child terror, was a doctor, and had acted as a therapist for Tony in the past; surely, he could work with children as well?

"Uh-huh, okay, exactly what are you asking me to do again, Clint?"

"You need to figure out why she wants to lick everyone all of a sudden. What's the cause of this new strange fascination? Why is she going through this phase?"

Bruce gave Clint a pointed look. "She's a toddler. She's always going through phases."

"Yeah, but not any licking-related ones! Bruce, maybe she wants to be a dog! Or Stark taught her how to French kiss…" Clint shuddered at the second thought. "Look, I think if we continue on like this, Tony's going to have a germophobic meltdown, or something."

Bruce sighed. It was far too early in the day for this, in his opinion. This was his life now: meeting the random, unexplainable, requests of his teammates that were supposed to help keep peace in the tower among them. Somehow. They trusted his judgment the most just because he was a doctor, really. At least, that was what Natasha had told him on multiple occasions.

He had already heard an earful from Tony about Maggie's new favorite activity, as well as a brief synopsis from Pepper of the past few days and how Maggie managed to lick everyone else at least once. Tony was just happy he wasn't alone now.

"Alright, fine; I'll talk to Maggie." Bruce agreed reluctantly, to which Clint beamed happily. Next thing Bruce knew, he was being led into an adjacent room with several of Maggie's toys littered across the floor, and her seated in the middle of the mess. Typical.

"I need to go do some things, Mags, so have fun with Uncle Brucie!" Clint announced, giving her a farewell kiss to the temple. "Make sure you answer all the questions he asks you, okay?"

"'Kay." Maggie was more invested in the Elsa doll in her hand than her godfather. Clint gave Bruce a 'good luck' shoulder pat on his way out.

"Hello, Maggie." Bruce began with a light tone of voice, crouching down on the floor beside her. "How are you today?"

She looked up at him happily. "I'm good!"

"Good, good. I'm glad." He sat down in front of her, crossing his legs. "Now, then, I've heard there have been some things going on."

"What things?"

"I heard you like to lick people now." He paused. "Is that true?"

Maggie just nodded enthusiastically.

"Why do you lick people, Maggie?"

"Because it's fun, Uncle Brucie!"

"What makes it 'fun'?"

"It makes Uncle Tony scream." Maggie was giggling, but to Bruce, it almost sounded like evil chuckling. He could just hear Tony's voice in the distance claiming Maggie was some sort of demon spawn, and now that didn't sound that inaccurate.

"Isn't that kind of mean, though?" Bruce gave a slight frown. "If he screams, then it must mean he feels bad."

He had no idea what he was doing, honestly, or why the hell Clint had put him in that position. He was just playing it all by ear at that point.

But it appeared to get the gears in her head turning, as Maggie thought for a few moments before replying again. "He was sad?"

Well, I wouldn't use the word 'sad'; maybe 'overly enthusiastic' or 'worked up' is more accurate… Bruce had heard Tony's ranting and yowling that day - JARVIS saved a video and later played it back for those who were not present because it was just that hilarious - so he found the entire thing pretty entertaining. But now that Maggie had yet to stop, he wasn't surprised everyone was starting to get concerned about it becoming a habit she might take out of the house.

"I think you scared him." Bruce answered instead. "He wasn't expecting you to do that; he thought you were actually going to tell him something."

Maggie frowned, looking more confused than ever. "But it was a prank!"

Bruce gulped. They had all been told specifically by Steve and Natasha to not introduce Maggie to the world of pranks and trickery, in hopes of them holding off her genetic prankster potential for as long as they could. But, then, here she was, tricking people into getting close so she could lick them instead, and she had learned enough about the concept to be able to label it a prank.

"Well, sometimes, pranks aren't as funny as we think they are." Bruce said calmly. "Licking Uncle Tony was probably not as fun for him as it was for you."

"Why?"

Bruce sighed. Talking to toddlers was repetitive and hard, in his opinion; they only understood so much, but still knew how exactly to get around things and into trouble.

Before he could actually come up with an answer, Maggie was in his face. With a sigh, he resigned to his fate as she licked his cheek, giggled somewhat maniacally, and darted out of the room.

"JARVIS? Tell Clint that the mission was compromised."

"Certainly, Doctor Banner."

Steve tried to block out the sounds of the chaos around him. He was trying to read the paper and see what's going on in the world, but, of course, Maggie and Tony were running around the room and screaming like maniacs instead. Of course.

"You can't catch me, you can't catch me!" Maggie huffed out between pants, as they had been playing their little impromptu game of tag for a while now. She led Tony around the room, circling mainly around Steve on the couch. The super soldier didn't even protest; he was used to this behavior by this point.

Tony, meanwhile, groaned in frustration. "I'm not here to play tag with you! Stop running!"

Steve smirked at how worn out Tony sounded, rivaling Maggie's exhausted breathing. He didn't understand why Tony was playing along with Maggie if he didn't want to chase her. Obviously, all he had to do was stop running.

Maggie just continued running - seriously, they had all given up on trying to enforce a no running around the tower rule as soon as the kid started walking and was able to say "no" - until Tony finally gave up, and collapsed onto the couch next to Steve.

"That's it! I'm done, I'm out, I lose." He huffed as he sprawled out half all over Steve, trying to catch his breath. "I give up, you win."

Steve shrugged the billionaire off of him. "Get your own couch, geez. I'm sitting here already."

"Technically this is my couch." Tony pointed out, his flushed features giving Steve a sharp look. "I own this entire building."

Maggie stopped beside the furniture on Tony's side, pushing herself up to peer over at him. "Uncle Tony, you're so slow!"

"Yeah, thanks for pointing that out." Tony grumbled, still breathing hard. "I'm tired now; leave me alone."

Instead, Maggie just launched herself over the arm of the couch and on top of him, eliciting an oof! from Tony while Steve just tried harder to concentrate on the paper in his hands.

"I win, so, do you know what that means?" Maggie grinned as Tony gave up on trying to sit up. She was pretty much sitting on top of his chest, so it was pointless.

"I don't know, but haven't you done enough damage already?" Tony sighed, laying his head back on Steve's thigh. "Capsicle, be my pillow."

Steve rolled his eyes. "It appears I already am."

"Uncle Tony, I'm gonna lick you!" Maggie stuck her tongue out, giggling as she advanced on his face.

"Nope, not again!" Tony held her back with his arms, but she fought back. As they engaged in some odd form of arm wrestling, Tony looked back up at Steve with worry on his face.

"Capsicle, help me!"

Steve didn't take his eyes off the newspaper. "Wow, look, the city's almost completely finished with cleanup from the Battle of New York, finally."

Tony gaped helplessly at him. "Cap!"

"Apparently some people want to make the shawarma restaurant a part of an Avengers museum and exhibit, too." Steve appeared to be sticking by the "no reaction" tactic, and Tony assumed the soldier was also trying to get back at the billionaire for the swear words incident with Maggie months ago. Bastard.

Tony couldn't believe it. "Steve!"

"Uncle Tony!" Maggie giggled as she leaned in closer.

"Augh! You know what?" Tony pushed Maggie away, off his chest and onto his legs, as he quickly sat up. He was going to prove to Steve that he could get rid of Maggie's new habit all by himself. "I think I am going to lick you!"

Maggie just looked at him like he was crazy. "No, you won't!"

"Yes, I will!"

"No, Uncle Clint said he would lick me, and he didn't!"

Goddamn it, Clint! I thought we taught you how to parent already! Tony internally swore at the softie-turned-actually-decent-parental-figure. During Maggie's day of swearing, they forced Clint out of his timid, discipline-less style of taking care of the redheaded toddler. But it appeared he still had a long way to go.

"Trust me, squirt, I'm not joking."

Maggie made a face. "Yeah, yeah, whatever."

Tony could not handle Maggie sometimes. She flip-flopped between the personalities of her parents so often that she could be unpredictable. Apparently, today was more of a Natasha day for her.

"Can you please get off of me now?"

"No."

"I seriously will lick you."

Maggie stuck her own tongue out at that.

Tony saw out of his peripheral vision that Steve had glanced over at them briefly. So, the super soldier was paying attention, after all. Well, Tony decided he would prove himself to be the ultimate parental figure once and for all.

"Margaret Romanova Rogers, you leave me no choice but to give you a taste of your own-"

He ended his declaration abruptly as Maggie licked the tip of his nose, and then jumped off of him with a burst of laughter. With an irritated frown, Tony stood up.

Maggie just continued giggling at him as he said one word: "Run."

Steve sighed once again as the chaos and yelling resumed, with his daughter bolting out of the room and Tony hot on her tail.

How Maggie ended up in the elevator and on her way to the gym without an accompanying adult was beyond Tony. All he knew was now they were running around the sparring mat as Natasha and Clint paused their practice and mission prep to watch the commotion.

"How much longer do you think this will go on?" Clint asked Natasha as his eyes followed Maggie and Tony running around and around.

"Depends. Both of them can be way too energetic for the rest of us sometimes, so hopefully they'll tire each other out." Natasha replied as she watched with an unsurprised expression. "Is this all because of Maggie's licking thing?"

"I think so." Clint guessed.

"Well, hopefully this is also the end of that." Natasha commented.

"Mama, save me!" Next thing Natasha knew, Maggie had launched herself at her mother, hitting the spy square on in the gut. Clint laughed at Natasha's misfortune as she groaned at the sudden contact.

"Next time, Лапушка, try to give me warning before doing that…" She requested in exasperation, picking Maggie up.

"Natashalie, do something!" Tony steadied himself as he panted by putting a hand on Clint's shoulder. The archer held back his laughter at the standoff.

"Mama, Uncle Tony was gonna hurt me!"

"I was not!"

Natasha sighed. Sometimes she just really felt like the parent of both Maggie and all the rest of the Avengers, thanks to how they acted.

"Can't you two just get along? Uncle Clint and I were busy preparing for an upcoming mission, and then you two showed up and interrupted us."

The spy set Maggie back down on the ground - well, sparring mat, technically - and gave Tony a tired expression.

"Yeah, seriously, you two need to chill." Clint added after Natasha gestured for him to say something. They were still trying to get him more involved with keeping Maggie under control.

"Alright, fine, let's go, squirt. We won't hang out with these lame-o's." Tony stepped away from Clint, crossing his arms over his chest.

Maggie walked over, and looked up at him. "Uncle Tony, I have to tell you something!"

Immediately, Clint and Natasha knew what to expect, but Tony still bent down, anyway.

And as soon as he did, and Maggie stuck her tongue out with a giggle, Tony quickly licked her cheek. No one else moved. He pulled back and got in a defensive position, ready to fight off the toddler terror. Maggie looked at him in complete and utter shock.

"I told you I would lick you, didn't I? See how it feels! Ha!" He gloated.

Instead, Maggie rubbed her cheek, quickly yelled something about germs and cooties and "Uncle Tony is so gross!", and ran off to the bathroom. Clint and Natasha wore equal expressions of "what the hell just happened" while Tony opened and closed his mouth, searching for something to say.

"Um… I hope I taught her her lesson?"

Clint looked back over at Tony. "At this point, I have no idea what to say. Aside from, 'what the hell?'"

"Your guess is as good as mine!"

Natasha opened her mouth to say something, but was interrupted with Maggie calling for her. Something about needing to turn on the sink.

"She definitely gets her dramatic antics from you." Clint quipped afterward, and Natasha just hit him upside the head.

"Oh, shut up. I have to go clean up the traumatizing mess Stark left behind." Natasha rolled her eyes, and Tony looked offended.

"Hey! I was just teaching her the lesson of karma. Payback's a bitch, and she needs to know that!"

Natasha glared at him as she stalked off in the direction of the bathroom. "If you tell her that, I might just murder you."

Upon arriving at the bathroom, Maggie had asked Natasha to help her wash her cheek because - and Natasha is quoting Maggie here when she explains the reasons to others - "Uncle Tony is gross." The spy didn't argue with that, as she had to admit she agreed to a certain degree.

Later, mother and daughter regrouped with everyone in the penthouse, and Maggie actively kept her distance away from Tony and his tongue. She also didn't threaten anyone with being licked, so it appeared that Tony's tactics worked.

"Daddy, Uncle Tony licked me!" Maggie explained to her father as he lifted her. "He's so gross!"

Steve smirked at her exclamation. "Well, you were licking everyone else for a while. Don't you think licking people in general is just gross?"

Maggie looked at him, unamused. "No."

Well, Tony had managed to temporarily break Maggie's habit, it seemed.

A/N: I suppose this one also ended up acting as a sort of sequel to the last chapter, with pizza and shoelaces and all that. Toddler Maggie sure is a riot, sheesh.