This chapter was written by KenrickMNP
When Tanith walked into the living room she noticed the distinct absence of Valkyrie. For a moment she wondered if she was out, but then noticed the sound of sloshing water in the kitchen. She snuck over and opened the door quietly, finding Valkyrie standing over the sink washing some dishes, bobbing her head and tapping her feet to music that played from her earphones so loud that Tanith could hear it. Tanith grinned and moved forward. She knew there was a squeaky part of the floor somewhere in the kitchen, just in front of the door, but she wasn't sure which exact spot, so she stepped up onto the wall and crept around the doorframe. She saw Xena laying on the floor, who looked up at her with pricked ears. Tanith smiled at her, but held her index finger over her lips, telling Xena to keep quiet. Xena seemed to understand, because she didn't get up or whine excitedly, but she did keep her eyes on Tanith curiously. Tanith stepped onto the ceiling. She raised (or rather lowered) her hands until they hovered over Valkyrie's shoulders, then she clapped them down. Valkyrie squealed, and spun around, swiping with a knife she was washing. Tanith pulled away.
"Jesus Christ!" Valkyrie cried at the same time as Tanith shouted "cheese and rice!"
Taniths surprise was quickly replaced with a fit of laughter.
"I thought you were some sort of creepy guy! Don't sneak up on me like that," Valkyrie complained as she took the earphones out. Xena had stood up and was wagging her tail. Tanith hopped down from the ceiling, still laughing. "When did you get here? I didn't even hear you come in," Valkyrie asked.
"It serves you right for using headphones when you're home alone. What's the point in that? Anyway it doesn't matter. I came because I'm bored. Can we do a vine?"
"Sure," Valkyrie said, as she took a towel to her hands, shaking her head in disbelief, "we haven't done one in a while. "Did you have one in mind?" She left the dished unfinished and they moved through to the living room.
Tanith considered. "Maybe… Hold on. Uhh."
"I'll take that as a no. Let's do an easy one. One that doesn't involve either of us getting maimed or injured. What about that funny battery one?"
"Aaah," Tanith moaned.
"Is that a yes?"
"Aaah!"
"Good."
"Aaaah!"
"We'll need batteries," Valkyrie said.
"So I assume we're just going to film in the shop?" Tanith asked. They were driving along the road, heading for the nearest supermarket.
"Yeah, I'm pretty sure the original Vine is filmed in a shop, and it's best to save money," Valkyrie said. "Let's just hope the staff there don't take offense."
It was raining when they parked outside the shop, so they rushed inside. Tanith picked up a basket.
"What do you need that for?" Valkyrie asked, "we don't need to buy anything, we're just filming a few packs of batteries."
Tanith looked at the basket in her hand. "That's true, Valkyrie. We don't need anything, but that won't stop me from buying unnecessary biscuits, energy drinks, etcetera anyway."
Valkyrie laughed and shook her head. "Come on," she said.
They strolled along the aisles, looking down all the shelves for electronics. Tanith had already thrown a tube of pringles and two packets of haribo into the basket. They knew the batteries wouldn't be in the toy aisle, so they made to walk past it, but then Valkyrie spotted something.
"Oh my god. Tanith, follow me," Valkyrie said. She jogged down past the boxes of lego and stacks of action figures, then stood in front of the Star Wars products. She picked up a lightsaber, and flung the blue blade out.
"Holy shit," Tanith breathed. She sat the basket down, then picked up her own lightsaber. It was also blue. They each looked around cautiously, making sure no onlookers were around and then ran at each other, hitting the plastic tubes against the other, making continual hollow clattering. They swiped and dodged, until Valkyrie ducked under Taniths lightsaber, then spun around and whacked her on the ankle. Tanith kneeled on the ground, and Valkyrie stood over her.
"It's over Anakin, I have the high ground!" Valkyrie said dramatically.
"You underestimate my power," Tanith responded, then she let out a battle cry and leaped over Valkyrie.
Valkyrie was not expecting that.
She crouched down, ducking on instinct and dropping her lightsaber, anticipating a kick to the head that never came. When Tanith landed, she also lost her grip on her lightsaber, and hit the ground on her knees hard.
"Aah… Oww. I think I broke my Patellas," Tanith groaned.
"We should probably leave," Valkyrie whispered, realising how loud they had actually been.
They swiftly put their lightsabers back, then carried on their search for batteries. They passed the sports section; not an aisle, just a series of shelves facing the end of an aisle. Tanith said, "Hey Valkyrie, catch!"
Valkyrie thought it would be a football, so she spun around to whack it away with her hand. She was not expecting it to be a kettlebell, and therefore not expecting her hand to be met with a cold, hard plastic thing.
She howled in pain, and Tanith winced as the kettlebell crashed to the ground.
"Why the f-f-frick would you throw that at me?" Valkyrie hissed as she clutched her throbbing fingers.
"I told you to catch," Tanith said in an apologetic tone as she picked up the kettlebell. "Why did you hit it?"
"I thought it was gonna be a ball…"
"I feel like hitting a ball away would have caused more damage than this."
"Not to my fingers," Valkyrie moaned.
"Oh well, I was planning on getting some Ben & Jerry's anyway, we'll get you a bag of frozen peas."
"Thank you…" Valkyrie said weakly.
"Oooh, look! I think I see electric stuff!"
Tanith ran off, still holding the kettlebell yet abandoning the basket. Valkyrie stood in place, watching, until Tanith turned, ran back, put the kettlebell back, and picked up the basket. Then they both took off, towards the phone chargers, extension cables, and batteries.
"They've got double A's," Tanith said, skimming her eyes along, "they have triples, and they have quadruple A's!" Tanith cheered. "They're not even in order on the shelves, what kinda shop is this? We'll just rearrange them briefly." Tanith switched the batteries around, so that they were in order, while Valkyrie looked around to make sure there weren't any members of staff. There were surprisingly few people in general for it being a weekday afternoon.
"Righty-okey," Tanith said, "which one of us is going to be in the vine?"
"I was in the last one, so I think you should do it."
"I'm honoured. Your phone, please?"
Valkyrie passed Tanith her phone. Tanith opened the camera, and focused on the AA batteries. She began recording.
"Aah," Tanith moaned, kind of calmly. She moved the camera to the AAA's "Aaah," then she got to the AAAA's, and zoomed in, shaking the camera slightly "Aaaahh!"
She stopped recording.
"I think that was fine," she said cheerily, turning to Valkyrie.
"Someone's coming," Valkyrie said.
"Oh fuck nuggets," Tanith complained.
A tall bulky man, bald but bearded, and with tattoos covering his forearms, sauntered along the aisle towards them. He would have looked threatening, if not for the fleecy green body warmer he wore as a uniform.
He spoke with a broad Scottish accent, and in a deep, pissed off voice, "what do you think you're playing at, screaming up the shop like that?"
Tanith and Valkyrie shared a glance.
"Um," Tanith said. "Would you believe me if I said I was facetiming my great-grandmother who is too old to come to the shop, and was reading out the names of the batteries because she can't read very well?"
The man looked at her doubtfully, "you were facetiming your great-grandmother? Reading out the names of batteries? "
"Yes…"
"And you just had to speak so loudly?"
"She's very hard of hearing," Tanith said.
"You expect me to believe that?"
Tanith looked at Valkyrie slightly nervously. "Yes…?"
The scottish man studied her for a second, then briefly looked at Valkyrie. "Alright, fair-do." And he wandered off. Valkyrie and Tanith each let out a breath.
"For a second there I was expecting to leave with my arms removed from their sockets," Tanith said.
"Same. Now, let's watch the vine then go get some frozen peas."
The Vine was absolutely fine, so they bought some more snacks and drinks, plus the peas. Tanith drove on the way back so that Valkyrie could hold her hand against the peas, and with her free hand she fed Tanith pringles.
"You know, while it's sad that you hurt your finger," Tanith said, dropping some crumbs from her mouth and onto Valkyrie's car, "and it's sad that I sort of hurt my kneecaps. I feel like it's for the best. Somewhere in that shop, there is a person, whose job it is to sit in a CCTV room or whatever they're called, looking at people doing shopping all day long, and I can't help but think we've made their day a little better."
"That's very true," Valkyrie said. "Every day we do good deeds, like having toy lightsaber battles and playing catch with exercise equipment."
"Trying to play catch," Tanith corrected.
"Silence."
Up next, not sure but it is another chapter from KenrickMNP
I'm doing more work experience this week but I should get mine finished in time for next Wednesday.
Sorry this chapter is late, I was way too tired last night to post.
No shoutouts this week but if you know any languages used in previous chapters send it in in a review.
Any requests, feel free to send them in too
Until next time