Dro: Please don't kill me for this chapter. I know I have a lot of cliffhangers, but seriously, they're all necessary. So, please, don't kill for where this one ends. But do review.
Chapter Summary: Matthew suffers a breakdown after realizing just what's happening to Alfred and Arthur.
Warnings: Uh...Gee, I can't really warn you without giving away the whole chapter. I'll just go with Violence and Language then.
Disclaimer: My situation has not changed. I am still too poor to purchase the rights to APH.
"Just calm down, Alfred." Gentle hands slid up his chest, deftly unbuttoning each clasp along the way. The hands parted ways at his collar, tugging the coat from his shoulders. The White fabric landed somewhere on the floor, but Alfred couldn't care less. His shoulders were tense, his mind wracked with anger and confusion. Sighing, Matthew repeated the process, pulling Alfred's shirt free from his waistband and undoing the buttons. When his brother was bare-chested, Matthew wrapped his arms around the older man's torso, holding him close. He pulled away slowly, guiding his hands to the back of Alfred's shoulders, where he massaged softly. "Don't let him get to you. You just need to keep your head."
Alfred let out a deep breath. "Matt. I…I don't know what's happening to me. I've been so irritable lately. I…I feel like I'm losing control of myself."
"It's him, you know? He's the one doing it. Just remember that whenever you ever feel angry. It's something he's done to you."
"But what has he done to me? And what if it can't be reversed? What I keep deteriorating until I'm some ruthless….killer."
"You won't, Al. I'll make sure of it."
Alfred chuckled dryly. "Since when are you the hero, Matt? That's my job, remember?"
Matthew smiled, letting his head rest on Alfred's shoulder. "Sure you are. But even a hero needs another hero sometimes. Don't you read the comic books?"
Alfred tried his hardest to suppress a smile. It didn't work. "Thanks Matt."
"Any time."
They fell back on the bed together, laying side by side and both staring at the ceiling, pondering their fate aboard this flying death trap with its warped atmosphere and secret manipulations.
"What if I do it?"
"What?" Matthew turned toward him, confused. "Do what?"
"Kill them."
Matthew was left speechless for several seconds. "What…what do you mean, Al? You'd never kill any of them. You care about them. They're you friends." He swallowed nervously. "You could never do that."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes. I'm sure. Without a doubt." He sat up and tilted Alfred's toward him until they made eye contact. "You're not a murderer, Alfred, and you're definitely not a traitor. Whatever Britannia has done to your mind, it doesn't reflect anything you actually want." Matthew's eyes drifted to the ring on Alfred's finger. "Maybe you should take that off for a while." He waited anxiously to see Alfred's reaction.
Alfred glanced at his finger as he raised his hand into the air. He twisted the ring around on his finger. "Maybe you're right. But I'm afraid I'll be too weak without it."
"Al, you have natural super strength. You don't need a magic ring to make you strong."
"I know that, but everyone else here has lots of powers. Without magic, I pale in comparison."
He was coming up with every excuse he could find, and Matthew sincerely doubted he was doing it of his own volition. Still, he tried to reason with his brother. "Alfred. Think about it. Britannia is using the ring to manipulate your mind. It's the reason you're feeling like this. It's the reason you're doubting yourself. It's the reason you're…well, are you having…uh…urges?"
"Urges? For what?"
A brief sense of relief flooded Matthew's veins. "Nothing. Forget I said anything."
"No. I know what you meant, Matt. You want to know if I've been having urges to obey his will?"
Matthew stiffened but didn't say anything.
"You want the truth?"
No. Not really. Matthew was terrified of the truth. "Al…"
"Do you want to know, Matt?"
No. No. No. "Yes."
"I have. I have since the moment I stepped aboard the ship. Since before I got the ring. And they just keep getting worse and worse and worse. Every time he speaks, I feel pulled in by his voice. I feel like I'm falling Matt, falling farther and farther into a pit I can't escape from. And I don't know how to stop it. I don't even know why I feel this way. It doesn't feel like his compulsion. It's…It's something else."
Something else. That deep sense of creeping cold started inching up his spine again.
"His presence…it does things to you, I know. I understand, really. Something in his magic makes him like a magnet, and the longer you're with him, the stronger the pull becomes."
Arthur had told him that earlier. And now he was watching it unfold in front of him. It was like Britannia's presence could infect you like a disease that spread slowly through your body until you were completely and utterly consumed. Alfred was fighting it, Matthew could tell. He was fighting with what had become a darker part of himself, a part that was slowly encroaching upon his mind, warping his thoughts and feelings. Matthew could see the signs of it in Arthur too. Arthur. Arthur, who Britannia had kissed.
He suddenly felt the urge to ask, "Why did Britannia kiss Arthur?" A dual purpose. Maybe if managed to change the subject, he could jar Alfred out of this state.
Alfred pursed his lips. "They're together. Sort of."
"What?" Matthew gaped. Arthur was together with…Arthur? That didn't…What was this…Holy crap. That was weird.
"Yeah. Arthur tries to deny it, but I can see he's lying. At least partially. I don't think he wants to have feelings for the other him, but I don't think he can help it. You know they exchanged memories, right?"
Matthew nodded numbly.
"Well, apparently, as a side effect, it also kind of pulls them toward each other. Mentally and emotionally. I don't think either of them can help it now that I think about it. I doubt the other Arthur even planned for that to happen."
"So, why did they exchange memories in the first place?"
Alfred shook his head, throwing an arm over his eyes. "That's the big mystery. The other Arthur won't say. Apparently it has something to with his master plan."
"Of course it does." Matthew wrapped his arms around himself, shivering. Why was it so cold in here? He glanced back at Alfred, who was frowning deeply, still obviously fighting with his own mind. The dread continued to creep further upward toward the base of his neck, slinking closer and closer toward his brain.
Or maybe that was just the infection.
Matthew bit back tears. They were going to lose at this rate. He was going to turn them all into his puppets. How long would it be before he started losing himself too? Alfred had only been here a matter of days. If it happened this quickly, then how far gone was Arthur? Matthew let himself fall lifeless back on Alfred's bed, his eyes clenched shut, burning with tears. Ivan, I wish you could hear me. I wish you could hold me. I can't drive this cold away without you here. I need you. I'm afraid. I'm so afraid.
That was the only thought in his mind until he fell into a troubled sleep.
Arthur groaned as his eyes fluttered open. He was comfortable like this, a soft blanket thrown over him, a warm body…Oh no. He pressed his face into the pillow, images of deep tongue kisses and sharp love bites flashing past his eyes. Thankfully, his pants were still on, and so were his double's, but that failed to make him better considering he'd basically let the man ravish him last night. What had he been thinking, initiating a make out session with the bastard to distract him? Had he gone senile?
He stiffened as the chest against his back shifted slightly, his double's arm tightening its hold on him. He sighed. Great, this was just what he needed to start his day. If he tried to escape, he'd wake his double up, and the onslaught of teasing and advances would begin. He wondered if he could teleport without waking the man up. Probably not, but at least it would assure his escape. He willed himself to the bathroom doorway, sneaking a glance back at his double, who was still somehow dozing away. Thank God for that.
He flicked on the bathroom light and closed the door behind him, turning toward the mirror. He immediately cringed, his cheeks flushing. And he'd thought Matthew had had it bad. He was too embarrassed to keep counting the marks after five. How the hell was he going to hide all of those? His double better damn well have healed him before he left this room. As if on cue, there was a soft knock on the door. He whipped it open, glaring at the other man, who raised his eyebrows before he cracked a grin, eyes landing on Arthur's neck and collarbones.
"Good morning."
"For you, maybe. You're not the one sporting hickeys."
"Are you honestly that upset? You certainly weren't when you were getting them."
Arthur blushed furiously. "That is…irrelevant! Heal them. Now!"
His double snorted. "Why are you getting so worked up over a few love bites, Arthur? It's not like I ripped off your arm."
"No, but it's a hell of a lot more embarrassing."
"Embarrassing? How so? Are you embarrassed to have others know about our relationship?"
Arthur deadpanned. "Really? What kind of bloody question is that? Of course I'm embarrassed. I have make out sessions with myself because you did something to me. Alfred is already freaked out enough, and I can't imagine what Matthew must be thinking after last night." He crossed his arms, frowning.
His double actually looked hurt. "I'm sorry you feel that way. I'll heal them if you want me to."
Arthur was taken aback. Where had this come from? What game was the man playing? He wasn't usually so pliant. "Oh, well, go ahead."
And there was the devious grin. "On one condition."
Arthur narrowed his eyes. "What?"
"Bathe with me."
Matthew marched purposefully down the hallway. He'd left a fitfully sleeping Alfred a few minutes ago, deciding on a whim to try and weasel answers of out Britannia. He hadn't mastered his knew power, but he knew of a least one way to use it, and he would threaten to trap the man in the other plane if he didn't fess up. Granted, Britannia could probably obliterate him with the flick of a finger, but he had at least some shred of leverage against the man, which was more than Alfred could boast. He didn't know about Arthur. Hell, he didn't even know where Arthur was. The man hadn't been in his room when he'd stopped by for support.
He was fearful for Arthur's safety. He hadn't seen his former guardian since the abrupt end to dinner the night before. He paused in front of Britannia's door, hesitating. He furtively glanced down the hallway to the left and then to the right, afraid either Siphone or Lucaster would turn the corner just as he was sneaking into their boss' room. After a few moments of silence, he tried the handle. The door swung open silently, revealing an empty room. Matthew's eyes darted around, lingering on the obviously slept in bed. A bed that looked like it had been slept in by more than one person. He suddenly felt sick. Where were they now?
His question was answered a few seconds later. A muffled voice sounded off from the mostly-closed bathroom door. He should've turned tail and ran right there, but his sense of morbid curiosity got the best of him. He inched forward into the room, slowly approaching the bathroom door. The crack in the door was just large enough for him to see through. He neared it, position one eye in front of the small opening.
What he saw crushed every last shred of hope that he would have any help at all in defeating in Britannia. They sat in a full tub of water together, his Arthur in the other's lap. Arthur leaned back against the man's chest, head upturned as his double's was leaning forward, their lips having met in a kiss. Both men had their eyes closed, peaceful expressions gracing their faces, cheeks flushing slightly. When they finally broke the kiss, two sets of matching eyes staring at each other. Intense. Adoring. For no less than five seconds, there was absolutely no animosity present between the two Arthurs. They stared at each other as if they'd been lovers for eternity, as if their souls were perfectly attuned to one another's.
He and Alfred had already lost him.
He backed away from the door. It didn't matter how normal Arthur acted around them. Britannia had him already. He had Arthur wrapped around his finger, completely under his control. Arthur probably didn't even realize it himself. At some point in his captivity here, Britannia's influence had completely engulfed him, and he'd truly become lost to the world.
Matthew fled.
He ran full speed down the hallway, tears once again stinging his eyes. Arthur. Arthur was lost to them. And Alfred was quickly following him. How long would it be before they were all Britannia's little minions? How long would it be before Britannia had killed all their fellow nations, and they were left with a decimated, nation-less world? He was winning. Britannia was so far ahead there was no way it could even still be considered a fair game. This was Britannia's game now. And they were all his toys. He'd completely out-strategized them at every turned.
He tripped, crashing into the floor and sliding several feet. Choking back sobs, he pushed himself back up, leaning against the window. His eyes stared down at the city that used to be Barcelona. This was what their whole world would look like before Britannia was done. And here he was, trapped in the enemy's lair and unable to even fight back. He hated himself. He hated his weakness. He's lost his former father figure. He was losing his brother more and more as the seconds ticked by. And it was very likely that in a week's time or less, would start losing himself too.
He gripped himself by the hair, pulling roughly on it as he bit his lip until it bled. He couldn't handle this. He could feel himself breaking down. His emotions were going haywire. He couldn't think straight. He needed air. He stumbled up and started running, barreling down the hallway. He turned a corner too quickly and bounced off the wall, but he kept running, passing a very shocked Lucaster and Siphone, who both stared as he wrenched open the stairwell door. He went up. And up. And up. And up. And he kept going up until he reached the roof door.
The air hit him like a wall, but he kept his balance. He forced his legs to fight the rushing winds and he slowly and hazardously made his way across the roof of palace-like ship until he could see over the edge. Then he fell to his knees and cried. How had this happened to their world? How could something like this…How could they lose? This was their world. They were supposed to be able to protect it! How could they just let it fall apart like this?
He'd never felt so helpless in his entire life. He was trapped on a ship full of super-powered nations, left to the will of their ultimate enemy. He was being forced to watch while two of the most important people of life literally lost their minds. And he could already feel the edges of his own getting blurry. He screamed at the top of his lungs. Most of it was swallowed by the wind.
Ivan. If you were in my place, what would you do? You've always been able to keep your cool in fights, especially manipulative ones. But I'm not you…and I can't handle this. Please…someone…anyone…
…Help me…
No one answered.
Eyes blurred by as steady stream of tears, mind wracked with a thousand emotions that were tearing him apart, complete devoid of any rational idea, Matthew inched closer to the edge of the ship. He pushed himself up onto the small ledge that marked the edge of the roof. Behind him was the den of all evil. In front of him was endless blue sky. He sat there numbly, the wind chilling his skin, stinging his face.
What do I do?
What can I do?
I can't save Arthur.
I can't save Alfred.
I can't save anyone.
I've become useless all over again.
I'm an insignificant existence surrounded by superpowers, just like I've always been.
He dared to look at the ground. Feeling a sudden surge of hopeless rage, he forced himself to stand up, his legs shaky, his body teetering dangerously in the wind. He stared at the at the ground beneath him, a half-blackened and ruined city that used to be a lively center of rich culture and history. A sense of utter solitude overcame him, and he felt resolved. His world was ending. His friends would all die. His loved ones would perish in pain and fear. His people would be slaughtered. And he had two choices.
Watch helplessly from the sidelines.
Or die with them.
He could quite honestly say that was both the hardest choice of his life and the easiest. He sucked in a deep breath. I refuse. I refuse to watch this. I refuse to help him. I refuse to bear witness to the death and corruption of everything I care about. I refuse. So that only left one option. He took two steps forward, his toes brushing the very edge. His entire body shook in fear. I'm going first. Before you all. Before you, Ivan. Cold tears streamed down his cheeks. But I know you won't be far behind. And I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I've failed everyone. I can't stop him…I can't save Alfred and Arthur. I'm so sorry.
He started to lean forward.
Forgive me, everyone.
If not for failing you, than at least forgive me for being a coward.
"Matthew."
He faltered, regaining his balance at the last second.
"Are you going to jump?"
He hesitantly turned around, spying Britannia standing a few feet away. The man wore only a pair of a jeans and an open shirt that billowed in the wind. His hair was still damp. His face was a combination of shock, surprise, and sorrow.
"What do you want?" He murmured.
"Why would even think of doing something like this? You'll devastate Alfred and Arthur. And I—"
"Don't pretend you care. And don't use them as a defense. I'm a nuisance to you, and I know it. You just want to keep me locked up here while you destroy all I care about. I'm not of any real use to you, am I?"
"Use? I don't just want you here to use you."
Matthew laughed hatefully. "Don't give me that bull shit. You want to use everyone. That is your only goal for having us here. I'm not a fool, Britannia. I know exactly what's happening in there. You're bending Arthur and Alfred to your will. And you've already won at that. I can plainly see there's no 'snapping them out of it.' You've thoroughly fucked with their minds, manipulating them to the point where they can barely even see what's happening to them. I don't know how you've done it, but I do know you've won. You've won both of them. And I know if I stay here like this, I'll end up the same away."
Britannia seemed to be considering his words. "So you think suicide is a better option?"
"I would much rather die than be corrupted by you."
Britannia shook his head. "I see. So you've truly lost all your hope then?"
Matthew didn't answer.
"That's a pity. I thought you had more fight in you in than that."
"Guess even you can be wrong sometimes."
"Matthew, don't do this. We can work this out."
"There is nothing you are willing to do for me that can fix this." He shot the man an defiant glare. "I will gladly fall to my death knowing I will not have to witness anymore of the horrors you'll bring upon the world."
Britannia sighed. His shoulders tensed slightly, and then he stiffened completely, looking at Matthew with wide eyes, completely shocked. "Why can't I…?" A fearful look of understanding cross his face. "Your power…"
"What about it?"
"Matthew. Please, think about this. You're being rash. You only have one life. If you waste it with this foolishness, you're gone for good."
"You think this is foolish?" Matthew watched the clouds move by them. "It's cowardly. I'll give you that. But foolish? Letting myself die so I can spare myself the pain of witnesses everyone I love die around me? That's not foolish. Especially considering my choices. Die or go insane at your hands. No. That's not a hard or foolish choice."
"If you fall, I can't save you."
Matthew watched him curiously. "Why not? You have all the magic in the world don't you?"
"I just tried to pull you down. I can't. Your new power apparently makes you immune to physical magic. I can't use anything on you that affects your body. If you fall right now, you will die."
Matthew snorted at the irony. "Isn't that the point though?"
"Think about this. You will destroy Arthur and Alfred if you do this. You talk about me hurting them. But think about what it'll do to them if you die. They may be affected by me, but they're still themselves, and they still love you. Do you really want them to know you killed yourself because you couldn't stand being around them while they're like this? I won't lie. I have been manipulating them both. A lot. But they are still who they've always been, and I want you to remember that before you step off the edge and plunge to your death."
He didn't want to give Britannia any points, but he couldn't deny the man made sense. Alfred and Arthur, even if they both ended up lost to Britannia's side, were still Alfred and Arthur. Whenever one of them got hurt, the other two were always exceedingly worried. If Matthew died, what it would do to them? What would it do to their already fragile mental states? He didn't want to hurt Arthur and Alfred anymore than they already had been. His face burned. He hated this man. He hated this man being right in any sense of his word. If he'd had the strength, he would've killed the fucker in an instant.
After fighting with himself for several moments, he finally gave up. He couldn't risk hurting them any further. "Fine…fine…you win…again." He shook with anger and humiliation.
Britannia's eyes softened. "Matthew, something like this is not a game to me."
"Shut up. Just shut up!" He whipped around to face the man again. "You've already won, so just shut up and leave me alone!"
A massive gust of wind slammed into his chest. Matthew tripped, his foot sliding off the edge.
And then he fell.
Dro: -puts on bullet proof vest- Don't kill me! The next chapter comes out the day after tomorrow! Please be patient!
Next Chapter: This is the chapter that will BLOW YOUR MIND and make you rethink EVERYTHING from the last ten chapters.