So yeah, not much to say here. I've said at the end of the previous chapter that I would write another chapter after that one and upload it either tomorrow morning or tomorrow evening, but since I'm not sure if I will have time to do that tomorrow, I updating now.

Hope you enjoy this chapter and thanks everyone for reading and reviewing!

XxX

Chapter 36

As we walked outside I noticed that Sebastian wasn't leading us towards the exit, but towards another part of the camp that looked like it was the fancy-party of the circus.

While we were walking, Sebastian was speaking to himself softly, most likably not even aware of the fact that I could hear him. 'There were nine tents and ten carts before the medical tent. And further along, we have… some nicer tents. As long as I'm here, I might as well inspect them. But first…'

Sebastian suddenly dragged me behind the last crappy tent before the fancy ones started/ The fancy tents were surrounded by lights and strings attached to those, clearly to state that you couldn't just walk there.

'What is it?' I said shocked, thinking that something bad had happened.

Sebastian had his back against the tent and held me close to him, but not close enough to make me blush. It was close enough, however, to make my heart beat faster. 'I want you to go back to the car and watch Ciel. Wait there for my return.'

I laughed softly. 'Yeah, I'm not falling for that. You've told me that I shouldn't leave your sight. I know how badly you want me dead, Sebastian, but I'm not that stupid.'

Sebastian frowned and then pulled me closer to him, both hands on my waist. It was clear that he was going to try seduction to get what he wanted. 'If you're careful, you have nothing to worry about. Just don't wander off and join Ciel.' He made sure that his sweet breath landed on my face while he talked.

I wanted to close my eyes and forget that I was here with him, forget that this man was attractive. Forget that I probably only found him attractive because he was hot. 'I'm not leaving, Sebastian. Because as long as I'm here, you have to save me.'

He tilted his head to the right and narrowed his eyes. 'You're attracted to me, but it seems like you would rather die than admit that. Why is that?'

This question came complete out of nowhere and shocked me so that my mouth fell open. 'What did you just say?'

He laughed softly and let his arms slide up, grabbing my arms, holding me exactly where he wanted me to be. 'You are attracted to me, but you won't admit it. My question was; why is that?' He truly seemed curious.

And his pleading face made me burst the answer out: 'Because everyone else is, too.'

He frowned, but I wasn't done talking yet.

'Seriously, every girl, and some guys to, are so in love with your face and body that I feel like a slut for actually thinking the same. Because it's shallow. And because it's stupid. Because, honestly, I would not be able to forgive myself if I felt in love with a demon because of his personality.'

It was silent of a while and even though I regretted admitting it, it was relieving to say these thoughts out loud for once.

Then Sebastian grabbed my face in his hands and pulled it up so I could look into those beautiful dark red eyes. 'Ah, I have to admit that this does bother me to some extent. You see, humans are easy to manipulate when they have feelings for you. When it's only shallow attraction, it's not as affective, because those feelings can be put aside much easier.' His eyes seemed to glow when he said: 'So I think I have to make you love me even more. Even if you won't forgive yourself. Even if you'll hate me for making you love me. I want to know you will be by my side exactly when I want you to be.' And then he pressed his lips against mine, not being gentle or sweet this time.

His hands were on my hips as he pulled me even closer, forcing my mouth open to deepen the kiss. I was sure if it had been anyone else I would have been able to stop it. But his sweet taste and skilled moves made me unable to resist. I even started to respond with the same fire that he gave me. I touched his dark and soft hair and felt the soft skin of his flawless face. And just as I was starting to forget who I was he pulled away, but only after biting my lip.

'Ouch!' I said, immediately out of my trance, putting one hand against my mouth. 'You bit me! Again!'

'Yes, I did,' he said, looking and sounding way too cocky. 'You're even bleeding.' He chuckled and I noticed that he had a vague trace of my blood on his lips.

I was way too out of breath and feeling way too strange to strangle him, even though I wanted to so badly. 'I hate you,' I told him, brushing the blood from my mouth.

'No, you don't,' he said, shaking his head. Then he gently pet my head, almost lovingly. The next moment, he was gone.

Dang it! Now I had no other choice than to join Ciel in the car. So I started to walk towards the parking lot, hoping that Ciel wouldn't notice my bleeding lip.

XxX

Of course Ciel noticed. The moment I sat down in the limousine next to him, he frowned and asked annoyed and not really interested: 'What happened to your mouth?'

'Nothing,' I said grumpy, not wanting to talk to him right now. I felt like killing someone and taking this rage out on Ciel didn't seem right.

'Well, where's Sebastian?' Ciel asked after a while, as if he'd read my mind and decided to give me some time to calm down before asking.

'Exploring,' I said, not looking at him.

Ciel sighed and grabbed my chin with his gloved hand. I was happy that he was wearing leather gloves, because it felt completely different than Sebastian's gloves. 'What's wrong? Did somebody do anything to you?'

Then, suddenly, he understood. Still holding my chin in a firm grip, he asked: 'Did Sebastian do anything to you?'

I swallowed hard and tried to think of an excuse, knowing that he would see through every lie immediately. It was no use. I couldn't lie to Ciel. 'Yes,' I answered. 'But that's all I want to say about it.'

It was clear that Ciel thought something else that I'd meant when I said 'yes'. His expression became cold, but certainly not calm. 'Did he hurt you?'

Well, I thought that he would have guessed by now. Bleeding lip, demon who had done something to me. It sounded pretty obvious. Maybe Ciel was more innocent that I'd thought. I wondered if he'd every kissed anyone.

Even though Ciel was still holding my chin I looked out of the dark window when I answered his question. 'No, not really. He was just being rude.' I was actually impressed because that lie sounded somehow believable. Maybe because, for the most part, it was true. It was rude to just kiss someone, but he had in fact hurt me. Not that my mouth was seriously injured or anything, but even lying about such a small matter was kind of impressive. At least, for me.

Well, I really did not want to talk about this subject anymore, so I decided to change it. 'By the way, Sebastian wants you to join the circus.'

Ciel let go of my chin and his face became absolutely murderous. Now he looked like he wanted to kill someone. 'What?' he said, almost spitting the word out.

'Well, yeah. For the investigation, I mean. Me and Sebastian were already invited, so no pressure there.' At least, I hoped. Joker never clarified whether me and Sebastian also had to do some sort of test or not. 'Oh, and I kind of told them you were my brother…'

'Are you mad?!' he asked, suddenly really annoyed. He crossed his arms. 'I'm not joying a poor travelling circus, that's way beneath my standers.'

I shrugged. 'You don't have to tell me that, that's something between you and Sebastian.' Dang it, I brought Sebastian up again. Luckily for me, Ciel didn't react. He just put his hand under his chin in a thinking manner, his eyes closed. And the way he sat there thinking, made me think of something I had wondered earlier. 'Ciel, have you ever had a girlfriend?' I asked.

He opened his eyes and looked at me with a cynical expression.

'Or boyfriend, that's also fine,' I said, almost scared I insulted him.

He still looked at me with that cynical expression on his face. 'Do you really think I have time for such nonsense?' he asked me.

Of course Ciel would think that things such as relationships were nonsense. He seemed to think that about friendships, so it wasn't surprising at all. 'Well, no. Not really. But I just wondered. I mean… have you ever kissed before?'

Now he just looked perplexed. He clearly couldn't believe I just asked that. 'I do believe that's none of your business,' he said snarky.

'And I do believe you're avoiding the question,' I said, having a small smile on my face. Having Ciel distract me from Sebastian's kiss was one of the smartest ideas I'd ever had. It was easy to forget things like that, since I'd always been good ad forgetting the things that I didn't want to remember.

He sighed annoyed, but didn't say anything. After what felt like ages, he finally spoke. 'I don't think it was Drossel, you know,' he said.

I had no idea how we ended up from a conversation about kissing to Drossel. I didn't want to talk about Drossel. I wanted to talk about stupid teenage stuff and just be a teenager for once. Was that too much to ask? 'What do you mean?' I asked.

'The mark in your neck,' he explained. 'I do not think it was Drossel. Drossel wanted to keep you as a doll and treasured you like no one else seemed to do. Almost as if you were his possession. And after meeting him – or at least a strange sort of copy of him – I came to the conclusion that Drossel loved you way too much to scar your skin like that.'

I opened my mouth to talk, to say that I really had been Drossel, but Ciel held up his hand, refusing to let me speak. 'I did some research on you, you know. There was a time, quite a few years ago, where you disappeared for almost a month. I wondered if your disappearance that anything to do with your strange illness and power, but records show that you have been sick since birth, so that wasn't it. But you were missing for a month.'

I frowned. This didn't make any sense at all. 'But I d—'

'Don't remember that at all,' Ciel finished my sentence. 'I know. I have become quite good at knowing when you're lying, which is one of the reasons I'm allowing you to stay. That and the Queen's orders. But also… I believe that the key to my revenge is in those vanished memories of yours.'

XxX

Sebastian arrived at the car shortly after that and Ciel ordered him to drive to 'the town house' (meaning Madame Red's old house) because we would stay in London for a while to investigate the circus further, since they would be in London for another day.

Ciel waiting until we arrived to start his rant. 'I'm asking you why that suddenly became the plan!' He shouted as Sebastian opened the door and Ciel took his coat off and gave it to Sebastian. When he handed Sebastian his hat, he said: 'When did I order you to say that?!'

Sebastian's smile was only amused. He was clearly annoying the fact that this situation annoyed Ciel. 'Is it inconvenience for you, my Lord?' he asked, only pretending to be kind. His sadistic smile told me otherwise.

Ciel shot him a deadly glare, but then noticed that I was standing next to him and the look on his eyes told me that he had forgotten I existed for a second. 'We'll argue about it later,' he told Sebastian, looking away from me. 'I'm exhausted. I want to go straight to bed.'

Sebastian's smile was gone, but I wasn't sure because his fun was over or because he was holding it in. 'Certainly, but—'

The door that led to the living room flew open and Soma ran towards Ciel with an enthusiasm that was almost scary. 'Ciel! I'm so glad you're here! I've been waiting and waiting and waiting!'

I smiled when I realised that he kind of sounded like Lizzie.

Agni appeared behind Soma, also coming from the living room. 'Welcome home, Lord Phantomhive, Miss Lane and Sebastian.'

'Right,' Ciel said, sounding as if being irritated had made him tired. 'I forgot you were here.'

And I didn't even know that they were here. So it was a nice surprise for me. I smiled as a way of greeting, but Soma couldn't see that because he'd taken Ciel into his arms. 'Ciel, it's been too long!' he said.

I chuckled, quite sure that Ciel didn't agree with that. Ciel probably thought that it hadn't been long enough.

Finally, Soma let go of Ciel, who looked quite grumpy when he did. 'I didn't expect you at the town house so early!' Soma said laughing. 'Did you miss me that badly? Poor lonely Ciel!'

That made me cringe and I wasn't even sure why.

Ciel completely ignored Soma's words. 'Sorry, but I'm tired,' he said, but he didn't sound like he was sorry. 'I'm not in the mood to deal with you right now.'

Soma looked like Ciel's coldness still surprised him. Seriously, you'd think that guy would be used to it by now. 'What?! But I've been so excited to challenge you to that "chess" game of yours!' He put his hands on Ciel's shoulder from behind, making him unable to see Ciel's face. And even though I couldn't see Ciel's face either, I was quite sure it was filled with rage.

'Don't you care about dashing my hopes?!' Soma said, trying to gain pity from Ciel.

'No!' Ciel shouted harshly, pulling himself free while starting to walk upstairs.

Then Soma got mad, too. 'What's wrong, Ciel?! You look so grumpy!'

That made me laugh, but also realise that maybe someone needed to get Soma off of Ciel's back. Just as I opened my mouth to speak, Soma opened his mouth again.

'We finally get to see each other again, so at least smile a little!'

That made the whole room go quiet for a while. Sebastian and I knew that Ciel never smiled happily. He could chuckle and pull out an arrogant smile, but smiling out of happiness wasn't something Ciel did. I had started to doubt if he even could.

Then Ciel turned around, looking more angry then I'd ever seen him. He looked so angry it was almost funny. 'Shut it! I'm tired! So keep quiet!'

That shocked Soma, as well as Agni, who looked at Sebastian, looking for answers that he didn't get. 'Right…' Soma said and I saw that he understood. But that didn't mean that he shut up. 'You won't attract good fortune if you don't smile, you know!' he said in a tiny voice.

Agni looked at me then, finding the answers in my eyes. He approached his master and put a hand on his shoulder. 'Your Highness…' was the only thing he said.

XxX

It was actually Agni who woke me up that morning, telling me that Ciel had requested a meeting with me and that I should go to the living room when I was ready. He also told me that he and Soma were going into town.

So I got dressed and walked downstairs, only to find Ciel in the living room with a cup of – you guessed it – tea. 'Good morning,' I said cautious, not sure what Ciel's mood was today.

'Good morning,' he said. 'Sit down.'

I did as he said and frowned when I didn't see Sebastian around. I didn't say anything, though, because I wasn't ready for an awkward situation this early in the morning. 'So… why did you want to talk with me?'

'Me and Sebastian will join the circus,' he told me. 'And because of a for us convenient lie you've told you'll have to come with us.'

'That had been my intention, yes,' I told him. Then I frowned. 'Convenient lie?'

'Yes,' Ciel said, 'even though there aren't many pictures of me around and the circus almost certainly wouldn't know who I am just by looking at my face, it sure is convenient to have a sister. Because Earl Ciel Phantomhive doesn't have a sister, they'll see you as prove that I am not him, even if they do recognize me.'

I frowned. 'But I have been in many magazines, too. And Sebastian has even been on television…'

'Poor circus artists don't watch television and you and Sebastian both only appeared in teenage girls magazines and local newspapers. Not really something the circus artists would have seen. The only threat is the audience, but I'd like to finish the case before we have to perform. And if that doesn't work, then the huge amount of make-up worn by circus artists will have to do. Do you understand?' he asked.

'Well, yes,' I said. Then I thought about and changed my answer. 'Well, no? Yes? I think so? I'm not sure what I'm supposed to understand.'

'Act like we're brother and sister. Act like a servant. Put please, don't overplay your part.' He pulled a disgusted face. 'And stay out of trouble as much as possible.' He didn't deny the fact that I wouldn't get into trouble, but he did ask me to keep it to a minimum. That humoured me.

'Anything else?' I asked him, holding my face slightly tilted to the side.

Ciel nodded. 'Yes. Please make sure to keep your secret powers to a minimum. I understand you'll have to use them for time to time to be accepted by the circus, but don't be suspicious.' He frowned when he saw my confused face. 'Why did you think Joker invited you to join, Clarissa? Because you had the tiger under your control. That's an amazing power. And the only power you'll use. I know that you probably don't even know what you can do to this point, but if you ever feel the urge to use your powers, whatever the situation is, don't give into it. Unless it doesn't endanger the case. Understood?'

I was surprised that Ciel acknowledged the 'secret powers' I had. I thought he and I were the same. Both ignoring its existence until someone explained what the hell it meant. Apparently, that wasn't the case. Too bad. If Ciel had faced that fact, then I had too, at least at some point. That idea alone frighten me more than the upcoming day and what it would bring us. 'Understood.'

XxX

End of chapter 36! I'm actually not sure whether it's legal in England to work in a circus if you're under eighteen, so if it isn't, just pretend it is, because I never get involved in politics. Again no word today, because I'm still sick. And again sorry for the typos, I keep trying to make none, but I keep finding them when I reread the chapters later. I'm looking forward to the next few chapters, I've planned some pretty exciting stuff. Hope you guys will like my ideas (when you actually get to read them, of course)!

See you soon and thanks for reading/reviewing/following/favouriting!