Embers and Frost

by SkyleafAlchemist19

Sequel to Fire and Ice. After becoming the new Spirit of Summer, Ace struggles with the knowledge that one day he will be forced to leave everyone he loves behind. Jack questions how far he would go for those he cares about. And Luffy, unaware of Ace's rebirth, is plagued by visions of his brother's death and other horrors. But those nightmares may be more than just dreams…

36. Broken Ace

A/N: I've decided I'm not going to put up warnings at the beginning of chapters anymore. Just thought you should know.

ROTGOPROTGOP

Chapter Thirty-Six: Broken Ace

Ace left the Red Force with a slight spring in his step. He did not grin or anything like that, but his skin felt less cold and his body less tired, a sense of clarity and purpose returning to him he concluded that he liked. He made his way onto the Moby Dick, nodding to Vista as he passed. He scanned the deck and did not see his brothers. Deciding to check his room for them before heading over to the Sunny, the Summer Spirit headed below deck.

A few pirates greeted him as he walked by, and Ace found he was able to smile or wave in response without hesitation. Some ignored his presence completely, and although he felt his usual twinge of grief and unease, the fire-user forced himself not to dwell on it. Instead he planned.

As much as he wanted to, he could not reveal the reason for his jubilation to Luffy and Sabo. Not just because smarter people may put the pieces together and figure out where the portal to Manny was located, but also because the Straw Hat Captain would be furious if Ace gave him 'spoilers'. Instead of clenching at the thought of upsetting his brother, Ace's heart lightened as he went over the tale again, feeling so much calmer than he once had. Shanks had likely told him of his meeting with the Man in the Moon to try to speak with him about Roger in a way the fire-user would accept, but Ace still had to thank the man, albeit for completely different reasons.

Once I leave for Earth, there's a chance I'll see Luffy again, Ace thought. It may take a while, but I won't lose him forever yet. Not as soon as I thought I would.

The fire-user touched his pocket, feeling the outline of the special star-filled Snow Globe. Based on Shanks' descriptions of the pool, he had an idea where that one led. If he was right and it did go to Raftel, then he really needed to return it to North. The thought did not scare him so much as upset him, and the Summer Spirit felt the selfish urge to keep the starry sphere. Ethics aside though, with his luck he would break it.

After I find my brothers, I'll go talk to the Guardians, he resolved, and although his breathing quickened a little, he felt little urge to be sick.

The Summer Spirit counted that as an improvement. His doubts tried to murmur that the Guardians would probably think he stole the Globe and hate him for it but he shoved his fears away, refusing to let them overwhelm him again. The Guardians were not his enemies. They were not taking him from his family forever. He could face them. Ace walked around two pirates carrying a crate without really paying attention. He headed deeper, easily dodging crewmates and slipping into the sleeping quarters.

The change in atmosphere was startling.

Ace's steps slowed as he got closer to his room, feeling as if he had been dropped into a different realm. Pirates rushed about frantically, some speaking lowly as they exchanged dark glances. The talking stopped when they noticed the fire-user, and he quickened his pace to escape the stares he could feel boring into his back. Some moved as if to block him, only to freeze up and back away when they saw the uneasy twitches in his expression. Ace felt flickers of shame for his adverse reactions and ducked his head, hurrying along.

Ace relaxed when he broke through the crowd that had gathered in the hall— how strange— and the open door of his room came into sight. Sabo stood in the doorway, back stiff and fists clenched, and the Summer Spirit felt a bubble of concern. He touched his brother's arm but the Revolutionary did not acknowledge him, continuing to stare ahead with an empty expression. Jack loitered just ahead of him, inside the room, and he too failed to notice the Summer Spirit. Confused, Ace peered past the frozen Revolutionary and Winter Spirit, and felt his own mind go blank.

His room was completely demolished.

The lamp was a broken pile of glass on the ground. The desk and chair were torn apart, resembling kindling more than furniture. His bedframe was mangled and turned on its side, his mattress ripped to shreds with pieces of stuffing and warped springs sticking out of the stubbornly clinging remnants of fabric like barbed wire. For a second, Ace could not find his pillow, only to see the feathers randomly strewn about the room, the case and cloth dropped carelessly on the floor. The closet door was off its hinges, with the board snapped almost cleanly in half and the knob dangling pathetically from a single nail.

Even the walls did not escape unscathed. Deep gashes were carved into every panel, almost looking as if a crazed animal had been locked in the room and had tried to escape. Except no such animal Ace could think of was capable of writing. Messages were hacked into the wood, some long, some short, some made illegible by overlapping letters, but most were easy enough to read. The Summer Spirit could not tear his eyes away from the comments etched into the walls of his room, the numbness trickling through his body growing stronger with every word he read.

MONSTER

THEY'RE DEAD BECAUSE OF YOU

THEIR LIVES WEREN'T WORTH IT

LIAR

YOU'RE NOT OUR BROTHER

CHANGELING

GO BACK TO HELL, DEMON

FREAK

YOU SHOULD HAVE STAYED DEAD

THIS IS YOUR FAULT

YOU'RE NOT WELCOME HERE, TRAITOR

KILL YOURSELF OR WE'LL DO IT FOR YOU

That was only a tiny portion of the insults written on the walls. Staring at the threats and hateful messages, Ace almost felt the illogical urge to laugh. A choking sound made its way past his lips and Jack was at his side in an instant, grabbing him and holding him so his view of the room was blocked with the Winter Spirit's body. The fire-user felt the usual tears pricking at his eyes, but at the same time it was like a huge weight had been removed from his shoulders. This was not a nightmare. This was the real world. And yet…

They finally saw what I am. I knew this was going to happen. I was right.

Ace's nightmares no longer seemed so irrational. His paranoia was no longer so farfetched. His constant stress and phobias about being despised and hated was no longer simply an illogical fear that could never actually occur. The evidence was right in front of the Summer Spirit. His room— his sanctuary— had been torn apart and vandalized, venomous taunts engraved into the walls just to tell him what an awful person he was.

Ace felt more than saw Jack and Sabo hug him, sandwiching him between their bodies like the action would protect him from the world. The familiar sensation of saltwater stinging his eyes made the fire-user tremble, and he reached up to grip his brothers desperately. Despite his unshed tears, Ace did not feel sad. Instead, he felt cold and… comforted.

At last, someone understood. Someone had finally seen his rotten core, and had taken it upon themselves to let him know they would not hide their intentions. They would tell him what they really thought of him. And that person despised him. The knowledge was almost freeing, or maybe something else in Ace had irreparably cracked and left him unable to behave like he should. Their methods for showing their comprehension were cruel, but Ace had earned their hatred.

They showed that Ace's fears were not illogical. They were justified. And that knowledge, the understanding that he had been correct in his assumptions, made the Summer Spirit want to laugh out loud. That was not the proper response to this situation. It was not even close. But Ace could not deny that he felt calmer than before, now that a threat had revealed themselves. He would still be watching the shadows for attacks, but now he knew an attack might come. Now he would not be jumping due to baseless paranoia.

Ace almost felt triumphant. He was right. His fears were not stupid. His beliefs weren't unfounded. Someone hated him. Someone blamed him. That someone was in the real world. His panic was not unsubstantiated.

Ace's nightmares were real.

His heart ached.

The fire-user tried to step into his room, only for Sabo to pull him back. Awareness returned to the Revolutionary's blue gaze, and he glared at the pirates gathered in the hall around them before turning back to his brother.

"You shouldn't walk in there." He said in a stuffy voice that suggested he was struggling to stay calm. "There's glass. How about we go… Uh…"

Ace watched his brother stammer and fail, expression shifting between worry, guilt, and a burning rage. The fire-user noted that the Revolutionary was more upset then him, probably seeing the destruction as unjust. Ace was able to accept the consequences of his actions, however. Though that did not mean he liked seeing his sibling so distraught.

He flipped open his notebook to a new page. "It's okay, Sabo. It's just a room."

"It's your room." The Revolutionary snapped, not soothed at all. "Ace, someone went in there and destroyed your stuff!"

"It wasn't really mine." Ace wrote. "I didn't have any personal items in there. All of it came with the room."

His hat was atop his head, he had his pair of black pants, and his other possessions were on his person, so it was fine. The insults were a bit… upsetting, but Ace had not lost anything. The fire-user briefly imagined what it would be like if one of his few accessories— namely his hat— had been in the room and a shudder went through his body. He took a breath and exhaled sharply, grappling with the grief that tried to bubble up.

I am not going to get upset about this. It's just a room. Nothing important was there. I deserved it, and I need to accept that.

Nothing. Is. Wrong.

Jack squeezed his shoulder gently. "How about we go see Marco? It's getting a little crowded here."

Their audience was indeed bigger than before. The pirates murmured amongst themselves, some gasping aloud when they spotted the destruction and threats on the walls, while a few rushed off to tell the Commanders about what had occurred. The rest all stole glances at the fire-user to see his reaction. Ace's discomfort grew and he bit his lip, feeling exposed. There were too many eyes on him, and his skin started to crawl.

"Actually I need to find the Guardians." The letters came out wobbly and jagged. Surprisingly, his shaking hands were not caused by the subject matter.

Jack visibly hesitated. His eyes flicked left and right, taking in the mob of pirates, and when he spoke his voice was barely above a whisper. "Ace, this isn't some kind of sign that you have to force yourself to…"

The fire-user shook his head violently to silence the Winter Spirit, mood shifting to frustration. His desire to— finally— meet the Guardians had nothing to do with his room, not that Jack would know that. Here was neither the time nor place to explain, so instead of trying to, Ace scanned the area again, seeking a way out. His priorities quickly changed as his initial shock faded, and he noted the absence of a certain rubber pirate.

"Where's Luffy?" Ace asked, thoughts instantly flashing to a plethora of increasingly bad scenarios.

"He ran off to get Marco or Thatch as soon as he saw your room." Sabo told him, alleviating his fear before it could choke him. "He should be—"

A few pirates yelped as they were carelessly shoved aside by someone in their midst, and Ace soon found himself struck by a Luffy-shaped torpedo. The Summer Spirit kept his balance and shifted his weight accordingly, careful not to let himself and his brother go flying into the glass-filled room.

"Ace!" Luffy cried, hugging him.

The fire-user's arms were pinned but he did not try to break free, accepting his brother's painfully tight grip. He looked over Luffy's head to see Marco, Izo, and Jozu emerging after the rubber pirate. The crowd parted before them without a single command being uttered, though the murmurs still continued. The Sixteenth Division Commander was having none of it.

"All of you, clear out!" Izo barked. "You have better things to do then stand here and gawk."

Their audience slowly dispersed, with the dawdlers quickly fleeing when the okama glowered at them. Jozu watched them go and leaned over, talking in a low voice that Ace was certain he was not meant to hear.

"You aren't going to order them to keep quiet about this?"

"There's no point." Izo replied. "Most of the ship already knows about what happened here."

Marco ignored them both, approaching Ace and laying a hand on his shoulder. The fire-user looked up at him, blinking, and balked at the severity in his expression.

"Are you okay?" the Phoenix asked.

Why wouldn't I be? Ace nodded and elaborated in his notebook, wanting to reduce the concern he could see in the blond-haired pirate's greenish eyes. "I wasn't in the room and I had all my stuff with me. I'm fine."

The Phoenix frowned at his answer but turned to Jack and Sabo without questioning him further. "What happened?"

"We don't know." Sabo said, acting as their spokesperson. "Before Rockstar told us Ace was with Shanks, we split up to search for him and I looked here. The room was fine then so I kept looking for him elsewhere until Jack passed Rockstar's message on to me. After that we decided to stay on the Sunny a bit before heading back to Ace's room to meet him here." His eyes grew shadowed. "When we got here again, the room was like this. We did not see anyone in the room or leaving it. Then Luffy shouted and a bunch of pirates came running. No one there looked really suspicious or anything although..." The Revolutionary glanced uncomfortably at Ace. "…a few seemed a little… pleased by the damage."

Ace stared at the ground, wavering between sorrow and a hollow acceptance. I earned their hatred. Remember that.

Marco did not agree with his sentiment. In fact, he looked livid, giving off a menacing aura that was only enhanced by the black sand fighting on his skin. It might be the lighting, but Ace swore his eyes were more yellow then greenish. The Summer Spirit winced as he watched the black marks race across the Phoenix's neck, forced back below his collar by blue flames. The blond-haired Commander grimaced and exhaled, either from the pain or to try to calm himself down.

"Can you give me descriptions of those that seemed happy with what happened?" he asked flatly.

Sabo and Jack exchanged a glance, both visibly cringing.

"I wouldn't say they looked happy…" the Revolutionary's protest died pathetically as the Phoenix glared at him.

"Strife amongst brothers on a crew this size is to be expected, but this matter goes beyond that." Marco said coolly. "The perpetrator not only destroyed a room on our Captain's ship, but has threatened one of us. This is not a matter to treat lightly. The culprit must be found and punished, so share any information you think you have. They might be family, but we will not let them get away with this."

"But what if it wasn't a Whitebeard Pirate?" Jack questioned hesitantly.

Luffy stared at him, eyes round and hurt. "My crew wouldn't do this." He said quietly. He paused, then added. "Neither would Shanks' crew."

"That's not what I was saying. I honestly can't picture any of them doing this." The Winter Spirit rushed to assure him. "I was talking about the Allies. There's a lot of them that could have..." He stilled, wincing. "Not that I'm accusing them either. I'm just saying it could be a Whitebeard Pirate but it could be someone else too…" He trailed off and sighed, running his fingers through his hair. "Wow, this sucks. Unless Pitch decided to redecorate Ace's room for fun, it's someone on our side that did this, isn't it?"

His question was unanswered by all.

Ace wanted to say they did not need to find the perpetrator and ask them to just let it go so there would be no more trouble, but knew his request would not be accepted. The others did not seem to understand that the destruction was warranted and the Summer Spirit deserved it for all of his lies and actions. He would try to explain his thoughts, but that would just cause them to give him more lectures and false reassurances. After all, their claims that no one would despise him had been proven untrue so why waste time with such well-meaning but ultimately stupid lies?

Marco stood just inside the room, studying the destruction and hateful taunts with cold eyes. He stepped out and shut the door firmly, turning to Izo and Jozu. "Izo, have a few division members clean up the mess, but don't throw anything out and leave the walls alone for now. We'll need evidence to try to narrow down the list of suspects. Jozu…" He hesitated, then exhaled in a sharp gust. "…Question the Commanders and Allied Captains. See if they have alibis."

The Third Division Commander's frown deepened. "You can't possibly think one of us did this?"

"We need to check everyone, and I'll feel much more comfortable involving the others in the search for the culprit once we know they're clear." Marco said like every word pained him. He stilled, eyes flicking wide and hand twitching like he wanted to slap himself.

Izo held up a hand. "I was with my division for most of today. It was our turn to do laundry."

"So that's why you were carrying that basket." Luffy piped up, confirming the okama's claim.

"Yes. The one you knocked from my hands when you ran into me." Izo huffed dryly. "My division is probably still cleaning up that mess."

"I've been in the crow's nest being the lookout." Jozu provided his own alibi. "I only came down when I saw Straw Hat running on the deck shouting for Marco."

"I was really surprised when he went after me." Luffy informed them randomly. "He's been hiding because he's scared of Nami."

The large man's cheeks reddened. "I am not afraid of the Straw Hat's Navigator. She just found out about my abilities and has insisted on… following me."

It took Ace a moment to understand, but when he did, he felt a laugh— a happy one this time— bubble up inside him.

Jack sniggered, also finding amusement in the poor Diamond Man's misfortune. "I'm surprised she hasn't tried to kidnap you."

Jozu twitched. "Don't give her any ideas."

"All right." Marco said, still focused on the matter at hand. "Then we will follow through with the plan. I will inform Oyaji about what happened, while you two begin subtly clearing the Commanders. After that, we'll move on to the Captains and then the lower-ranked members." Green-tinted eyes rested on Sabo. "If you don't mind, I'd like you help me try to identify those that seemed pleased with the destruction. That may help us narrow down the number of suspects."

The desire to ask them not to bother rose up again, and Ace put the tip of the blue pen to the page. The others noticed and looked to him, waiting for him to write. The fire-user cringed. He knew sharing his belief that the culprit was justified would only cause them to smother him more but now he needed to say something.

Change the subject. "Can we go find the Guardians?" he directed the question at Jack. He continued before the Winter Spirit could object. "I meant what I said. I'm ready to see them. I talked to Shanks and he told me..." He hesitated, glancing at Luffy. "…some things so I think I can face them now."

Jack eyed him searchingly and Ace readily met his gaze, trying to convey that he was ready for this and was not forcing himself for others' sakes for once. The Guardian of Fun crossed his arms.

"…If you want to." He allowed eventually.

Ace smiled gratefully.

Luffy frowned, eyes shadowed. "You guys go do that. I'm going to check on my crew."

Sabo caught him by the back of his shirt before he could run off. He looked to the three Whitebeard Commanders. "I'm guessing that you don't want this to get out any more than it already has?" At their nods, he looked to his little brother. "You can't tell your crew about the investigation, Luffy." The rubber pirate opened his mouth to protest but Sabo silenced him with a stern stare. "I know they didn't do this, but it'll be easier if less people know we are looking for the culprit. We'll have a better chance of catching him— or her— that way."

Looking miserable, Luffy nodded. "Okay. I'll try not to tell them."

"I guess that's all we can ask for." Marco said. "Jozu, can you stay here and make sure no one enters the room until Izo and his division gets back?"

"Sure." The Third Division Commander agreed easily.

They went their separate ways. Sabo went with Marco, while Luffy rushed off to the Sunny. Ace and Jack moved at a slower pace, and once the others were gone, the Winter Spirit stopped his brother with a hand on his arm.

"Are you certain you want to see the Guardians?" he asked seriously. "No one is going to judge you if you aren't ready."

Ace peered back in the direction of his demolished room and slowly wrote in his notebook, considering each word carefully before writing it down. "I'm ready. Really. Shanks told me something that kind of neutralized one of my fears dealing with the Guardians. I'll explain once I'm sure no one has a chance of seeing what I write."

He hated being so vague, but did not have much choice. The Summer Spirit did not want to risk revealing the Guardians' strange connection to Raftel. Especially since what was likely the very valuable way of getting to the island of legend without the usual steps was sitting in his pocket. He could see the curiosity shining in Jack's eyes but the Winter Spirit nodded.

"Okay then."

They began to search the ship for the Guardians. They were not in their room. They were not on the deck. They were not on the Red Force or another ship. Naturally, they were in the mess hall, a place Ace was slowly beginning to despise. There were so many people, and he had been overwhelmed and forced to flee the place two, maybe three times now. It did not help that many still gave him strange and judging looks, thinking he would not notice. As he stood in the doorway, already feeling the eyes on him, Ace kept his expression neutral.

I'll pretend they're staring at me for not eating much, and not all that other stuff, he resolved after a moment of battling with the desire to back out of the room as quickly as he appeared. None of them possibly hate me. None of them care I'm a Spirit. They're just surprised that I'm not consuming piles of food. That is all.

He could almost delude himself into believing it.

Ace saw the Guardians sitting with Thatch, Vista, Bay, and surprisingly, Law. The fire-user questioned why the surgeon was there and not on the Sunny until he saw the tiny turquoise Fairy that kept flying between the pirate and Tooth. His heart warmed slightly as he watched Baby Tooth excitedly go back and forth between her 'mom' and Law, speaking happily to the Guardian of Memories before returning to the Heart Pirate and chattering to him.

Law seemed to listen to her even though he could not understand a word of what she said, a small smile making its way onto his face. It was obvious the surgeon was hanging out with the Guardians— and by extension, the Whitebeard Pirates— for Baby Tooth's sake, making it so she did not need to constantly go long distances to speak with Tooth and her own apparent favorite human.

The conversation faltered for a second when the people facing the door saw Ace approaching, but a joke from Thatch quickly stopped an uneasy atmosphere from settling over them. The fire-user felt a tingle of nerves as he grabbed a plate and a small bit of food before walking to the table once more. He stopped behind Tooth and Law, gulped, and tapped the Guardian of Memories' shoulder.

She turned, pink eyes settling on him, and for a single moment, surprise flashed across her features. Then Tooth smiled, her grin both gentle and bright, like she had been given a present that was both delicate and precious. "Ace. Would you like to sit here?"

Tooth scooted sideways, making a space between her and Law. The surgeon did not look at the fire-user, though he moved aside as well to give him a little more breathing room. Ace smiled politely, nodding in thanks, and sat down. North and Bunny were across from him, but Jack was as well, having settled between the two Guardians. The Summer Spirit almost had to laugh at the differences in their height, a contrast that was obvious due to the Winter Spirit's placement at the table.

Ace only managed to smile a little, hiding it with the brim of his hat. He stared at his plate, blinking in confusion as he spotted the three half-sandwiches placed on the dish. How odd. He swore he had only grabbed one…The Summer Spirit blinked again and only a single sandwich was there. Ace squinted at his plate then shook his head to clear it, reaching for the food. To his bewilderment— and slight dismay— his fingers closed around nothing but air. According to his sight, he should be touching the bread but he felt nothing.

I guess I'm more tired than I thought.

Praying no one noticed his mistake, Ace moved his hands slowly over the plate, nearly jumping as his fingers bumped into the sandwich. His hands quivered as he carefully lifted it to his mouth. It tasted a little off to him, but that was probably because of his lingering discomfort. He could not start a conversation, nor was he willing to just yet, and he felt his earlier confidence falling out of his grasp.

Breathe, he ordered himself. So what if I'm a little more nervous than I thought? Nothing bad has happened, and I'm near them, at least. That's a step in the right direction. I am fine.

He could feel Jack eyeing him from time to time but did not look at the Winter Spirit, knowing that his fragile peace would break if he saw the concern on his brother's face. The world faded from time to time, sounds becoming muted and his vision going dark, but the Summer Spirit managed to stay focused for the most part, refraining from sinking into his usual oblivion.

Ace felt a small weight settle on his hat and reached up, gently patting Baby Tooth on the head. The Mini Fairy cooed happily and told him how happy she was to see him, and that she was glad he was here, and if the Guardians scared him, she'd beat them up. Except Tooth of course, but Bunny and North were fair game. Jack sniggered at Baby Tooth's brash claim, while Tooth herself looked pleased with the Mini Fairy's declaration.

"What'd she say that's got you so happy?"

Ace flinched when Bunny spoke, nearly sending his plate flying, but Law subtly stopped the dish from falling to the floor with an outstretched hand. The fire-user's panic subsided when he realized the Pooka's question was not directed at him.

"Baby Tooth is just being a good friend." Tooth said vaguely, a teasing smile making its way onto her face.

"She certainly is." North said with a laugh. He looked across the table at Law before his sight moved to Ace. The fire-user tried not to tense when he met warm blue eyes. "It seems that little Baby Tooth has grown quite attached to the surgeon. Why, she's refused to leave his side."

Baby Tooth blew a raspberry at the Guardian of Wonder.

Law crossed his arms, a bored expression on his face. "You are greatly mistaken if you think it is because of 'friendship'. My hat is just a conveniently-placed soft perch."

He spoke the words seriously, but even Ace could sense the bland humor in his tone. Baby Tooth flew from the fire-user's hat and into the surgeon's face, protesting that she did care for him and not just his fluffy headwear, only to quickly realize he was joking. She scowled at Law, prodding his cheek irritably, and flew back to Ace, sitting on his shoulder in a huff.

Jack chuckled. "I think she's mad at you, Law."

"Oh no." the surgeon said flatly. "However shall I cope?"

Baby Tooth stuck her tongue out at him and turned to Ace. She whined about Law's sarcasm, called the surgeon a few rather tame names that could be seen as shocking when considering who she was, and lamented that Law could not understand her so she could retaliate. The fire-user hesitated and took out his notebook.

"She called you a 'grumpy pile of moodiness and angst'."

Baby Tooth gaped, giving the Summer Spirit a horrified look. Strangely enough, her expression only encouraged the fire-user to share more.

"And an 'evil baby seal-wannabe'." Ace added.

Law's lips pressed into a thin line as if he were struggling not to smile. "Oh really?"

The Mini Fairy gave a quiet shriek, hiding in Ace's hair. She hissed in his ear, shocked by his betrayal, and the Summer Spirit shrugged shamelessly. Baby Tooth was the one who wanted Law to understand, so he took it upon himself to assist her. She realized this too and pouted, even as she asked if Ace could continue to translate for her.

The fire-user instantly agreed with a nod, entertained by her response, but faltered when he saw Tooth looking at him. His insides seemed to turn into mush and he stared at his plate, skin paling. Ace was so stupid. He was not the only one who could understand Baby Tooth. The others could interpret her words for people, and it would be easier than if he tried to. He had to write things while they could just speak, so why the hell did he ever think it would be a good idea to agree to help her when others could—?

"Did Jack ever tell you what American Sign Language is?" Tooth asked.

Ace peered at her, slowly acknowledging that she was speaking to him, and frantically scoured his memory. His thoughts remained trapped in the recent past and present, stuck on a loop of discomfort and doubt, and he reluctantly shrugged. The Guardian of Memories did not appear to be irritated by his inability to answer.

"American Sign Language, also known as ASL, is a way of communicating with gestures and signs." Tooth told him, not the slightest bit of contempt in her tone because of his ignorance.

Ace blinked at the 'ASL' comment but managed to take in all of her words without getting distracted.

"It's commonly used where we're from as a way for those that are deaf or mute to 'talk'." She continued. "I know it, and I could teach you if you'd like so you do not have to rely on your notebook as much."

Ace stared at her. His eyes moved to Jack, who was watching him intently. The Guardian of Fun displayed a mixture of cheer and caution, like he was trying not to show hopefulness. The Summer Spirit fiddled with his plate and swiftly dropped his hands into his lap to hide their quaking. Still hidden in his hair, Baby Tooth hugged his neck, humming softly. Before Ace could sort out his thoughts and try to respond, Thatch spoke.

"That sounds like a great idea." The chef said eagerly, his gaze alternating between the fire-user and Fairy. "Hand signs would be so much easier."

"I would agree." Bay interjected. "Except then others would have to learn this 'American Sign Language' as well in order to understand him."

Thatch drooped. "Oh yeah."

"It's just something to think about for the future. You don't have to decide right now, Ace." Tooth interjected, voice gaining a stern edge.

Ace's heart pounded and he wondered what he did to upset her, only to see her glare was directed at the chef. Thatch balked, eyes going to the fire-user, and a guilty expression overcame his features.

"I– uh. I have to go get something really quick." He mumbled, leaving the room.

There was a moment of awkward silence which Ace knew was because of him somehow. He started mentally going over everything he had possibly done wrong, and jumped when Bunny cleared his throat.

"What about Sandy's way of 'talking'?" the Pooka asked. "He uses his sand to create symbols."

"Ace doesn't have sand." Jack said blankly.

Bunny gave him an unimpressed look. "He has fire."

"Isn't that dangerous?" Bay asked. "Fire is very destru…" she paused, rethinking her words. "Fire burns." She finished lamely.

"Fire is destructive and we'd be lucky if the idiot didn't burn everyone to death." Ace knew she was going to say.

"His won't if he doesn't want it to." The Pooka said casually, leaning back slightly with his arms crossed. "He can control the amount of heat it gives off and if it burns things."

"Nuh uh. That's not how it works." Jack denied, shaking his head. "Otherwise I'd be able to stop from freezing things."

Bunny's ears twitched and he frowned. "Why not? You're the one who said he made a firestorm without hurting Luffy."

Ace was getting more confused by the second, and based on the Winter Spirit's expression, he was not the only one having trouble following along.

"What are you…? Oh." Jack's eyes widened with comprehension. "The battle. That was different. I wasn't really close when he defended Luffy from those Fearlings but I saw that wasn't his usual fire. Those flames were… white…" The Guardian's brow furrowed. "Now that I think about it, what were—"

Thatch chose that moment to reappear, glowing like a sun in human form with a brilliant smile on his face. "You guys won't believe what I just found!" he crowed, slamming the papers he held onto the tabletop with a flourish.

The Commanders, Guardians, Bay, Law, and Ace all leaned in to see what the excited chef had brought. Three posters were laid out before them, with familiar faces sketched on each. North gave a happy shout. Tooth groaned and put her head in her hands. Bunny stared, mouth agape.

'Fairy Queen' Toothiana

Wanted Dead or Alive

Reward: 200,000,000 Beri

'Crimson Swordsman' Nicholas St. North

Wanted Dead or Alive

Reward: 100,000,000

'Killer Rabbit' E. Aster 'Bunny' Bunnymund.

Reward…

"Are you pulling my leg?" the Pooka snarled, grabbing his bounty poster off the table and glaring at it. "Two hundred Beri? A measly two hundred Beri?!"

Jack burst out laughing, and Thatch, North, and a few other pirates soon followed suite. Bunny gave an enraged growl, looking ready to rip the paper— and the laughers— to shreds. Ace covered his mouth with his hand to hide his own grin, but was forced to move his palm away in order to catch Baby Tooth as she fell off his shoulder, cackling maniacally.

The Pooka's eye twitched and he bared his teeth. The look would have been frightening in any other circumstance— especially to Ace— but the fire-user found that he could not be cowed when faced by the Guardian of Hope's amusing indignation.

North patted his fuming companion's back. "Do not fret, Bunny. At least your nickname is threatening, da?"

"Oh, yes." The Pooka sneered sarcastically. "Everyone will tremble before me for that epithet when I have such a rubbish reward. What were they thinking?"

"I have a Minkman on my crew with a bounty of five hundred Beri." Law revealed smoothly, grey eyes glinting beneath the brim of his hat. "The government apparently believes he is my crew's mascot or pet."

North threw his head back, howling with laughter, and Jack nearly fell from his seat, leaning over the table as he giggled. They ignored Bunny's warning glares, and the Pooka eventually gave up in trying to intimidate them, settling for sneering at his bounty. Tooth gently plucked the paper from his paws, lips twitching suspiciously.

"After all that talk about staying out of trouble, you're upset about your low reward?" She asked.

"No." Bunny denied in a grunt. "I'm just rankled that I didn't get a bigger bounty than him."

North smirked at the Pooka in a superior manner. The two Guardians soon devolved into a childish argument, drawing the enthused attention of the nearby pirates. Ace watched them, a slight smile on his face, and nearly jumped a foot into the air when Thatch laid a hand on his arm. The chef's grin was gone, and he looked unnervingly solemn. He dithered, taking in their surroundings and grimaced.

"Come with me for a sec."

Ace rose from his seat and followed the Fourth Division Commander out of the mess hall. He bumped into someone's chair on the way out— which he swore was a foot to the left and out of his path— but the person barely gave him a second glance, thank Manny. It was only after the door shut behind him that his memories of recent events and common sense caught up to him and he realized following the man alone was probably a bad idea, but he shoved away his baseless suspicions. There was no way Thatch was the one to destroy his room— The fire-user felt Baby Tooth clinging to his hair and relaxed further— and he was not alone, so he would be fine. There was no need to be paranoid.

Thatch still had that strained look on his face as he turned to the fire-user. "We just got this with the other posters."

Ace gingerly took the offered sheet of paper, swallowing roughly as he saw his own face— complete with recently-gained flame-colored eyes— staring back at him. The Summer Spirit took a deep breath before letting his gaze drop to the words beneath the sketch.

'Summer Spirit' Portgas-Gold 'Hiken' D. Ace

Wanted ONLY ALIVE

Reward: 700,000,000 Beri

Ace read the poster once. Twice. Three times.

Even then, the words refused to become decipherable in his mind. Abruptly they clicked and he gripped the paper tighter, confusion, shock, and slight fear making his heart thunder in his chest. He understood that the Marines had finally decided to reveal he was still alive. He knew that it made sense to increase his bounty, not only because of his miraculous return but because even after everything he was still the Pirate King's son. It was that middle statement he could not comprehend.

'Only Alive'? Why would they only want him alive? It was always 'Dead or Alive' unless a powerful individual with influence to throw around had requested the retrieval of a living target. Runaway princesses and fleeing political figures got 'Only Alive' bounties. Not pirates and certainly not the son of the Pirate King that the World Government had previously killed. There was only one person Ace could think of that had both the pull and the desire for him to be brought in alive while also being unwilling to risk him being killed. But why would Pitch do that unless…

…He wants to kill me himself, and only after I've been hunted. He doesn't just want me dead. If he did, he could appear right back on the Moby Dick and murder me. Instead he wants me to be afraid. He knows my fears. He knows I'm terrified of being captured by the Marines again. It's all part of his sick psychological game.

Ace shuddered and looked up, meeting Thatch's worried eyes.

The chef hid his concern behind a brittle smile. "Looks like your name has become quite the mouthful, huh?"

Ace kept staring at him, eyes hollow. Baby Tooth dropped into his hand, petting his thumb gently. He forced the fingers of his other hand to release the poster, stiffly stroking the Mini Fairy. A feeling he could easily identify as hysteria began to cling to his body, freezing his muscles and filling his lungs with ice water, and a small gasp escaped him. Thatch's arms encased him and he was pulled to the chef's chest.

"They won't get you." The pompadour-sporting pirate vowed fiercely. "I don't know why they want you, but they won't touch you. Not Pitch, not the Marines, not anybody."

Not again, went unsaid.

Ace believed him. Mostly. And that had to be good enough.

The Marines capturing him was not impossible. An unlucky coincidence, an accident, an unexpected turn of events, any of those things could result in the fire-user falling into enemy hands. However, Ace could not let those possibilities consume him and make him be shackled by fear. Not again. He was confused, and nervous, and very, very scared, but he desperately wanted to avoid falling into another downward spiral so soon after he just clambered back up.

Ace would have to leave someday. But that did not mean he would never see Luffy again. Someone on the ship hated him. But the Guardians did not. The Marines were after him for some nefarious reason. But people like Jack, Sabo, Luffy, Marco, and maybe even Shanks would not let that happen— to the best of their abilities, anyway. Pitch really wanted Ace dead. But Ace refused to let his fear paralyze him.

He stroked Baby Tooth, movements measured and calm, and felt his heartbeat slowing. He could not think about what-ifs and possibilities. He could not question the motives and loyalty of everyone around him. If he did, his exhaustion would not be the thing that caused him to collapse.

Ace put the bounty poster in his pocket. He would have to tell Jack about it though the Guardian was going to be the opposite of pleased about the news. Not feeling like writing at the moment, the fire-user pointed at Thatch and put his hands in a strange position atop his head, fingers splayed in the air.

Thatch understood his question. "Marco doesn't know yet. I decided to tell you first." He scowled, rubbing at his eyes. "This is going to do wonders for his blood pressure— Don't feel guilty."

Ace forced his expression into what was hopefully a very not-guilty look.

"…You need to stop blaming yourself for things, you know that?" Thatch murmured, almost to himself. Then he shook his head and slung his arm across Ace's shoulders. "Come on. Let's get back before they realize you're gone and tear apart the ship."

They reentered the mess hall. Bunny and North were no longer arguing, instead merely glaring over Jack's head. The Winter Spirit himself was staring intently at the door, relaxing when Ace returned. Law glanced over his shoulder and spotted the Summer Spirit and chef as well. He turned back to Jack, speaking softly, and Ace swore he said 'I told you. See, he's fine.' or something along those lines.

Ace was about to sit down when the Guardians stood up, all their eyes landing on him. The fire-user went rigid beneath their stares, instantly on guard. Baby Tooth flew back to Law and landed on his hat, asking Tooth if she would get a tattoo now that she had a bounty. The Guardian of Memories looked horrified. Jack nudged Bunny, whispering something in his ear that made him scowl, and the Pooka was efficiently distracted as well. That left North, who looked at the Summer Spirit with calm blue eyes.

"We are heading back to our room to talk. Would you like to come with us?" North offered.

His tone was casual, yet very hopeful, and Ace knew if he refused the Guardian of Wonder would feel disappointed. The thought unnerved him a little, but the amount was somehow more than the fear caused by the prospect of finally talking to the Guardians in a private place. Recalling his resolve not to be directed by fear, Ace took a breath and nodded.

North looked like his birthday had come early. He clapped his hands together. "Wonderful! We are going to pin our bounties to the wall."

Bunny's ears flattened. "No, you aren't."

North smiled sweetly and took off running, disappearing from the mess hall faster than his startled observers could blink. The Pooka gave an angry yell and dove after the Cossack, pulling out his boomerangs as he went. Tooth gave a long-suffering sigh and followed her two companions, apologizing to anyone unfortunate enough to be in their way.

Jack sniggered and leaned over, whispering in Ace's ear. "I'm proud of you."

He raced after the other Guardians before Ace could respond. The fire-user hesitated and followed them all, catching up to Jack and running at his side. The Winter Spirit smiled mischievously and ran faster, and Ace sped up as well, determined to keep up. Slowly, the chase turned into a race to the Guardians' room, with the two Seasonal Spirits passing Tooth on their way. Most pirates had already cleared out because of North and Bunny, so the two brothers had little issue shooting through the halls.

Ace felt his lingering panic faded away and he put on a burst of speed. Jack still made it through the open door first, crashing into Bunny and sending both him and the Pooka to the floor. The anxiety snapped back into place when he saw the Guardian of Hope's outraged look but the Summer Spirit rejected it, shoving it away with everything else he denied, like the weird black spots dancing in front of his eyes. He wasn't going to ruin this.

He watched as Bunny's outrage turned into bewilderment and could not help himself. Ace's shoulders shook and he laughed, joy silent but obvious to those around him. His fellow Spirits joined in— including the trampled Bunny— and the Summer Spirit felt a strange sense of companionship and calm. Despite all that had happened and what he had learned, his heart felt lighter than it did before.

He would enjoy it while it lasted.

He just wished his chest would stop hurting.

ROTGOPROTGOP

It was amazing how quickly moods could change.

Ace sat beside Jack in the Guardians' guest room, trying to process what he had been told. The Spirits had spent the last few hours sharing what they could with their youngest member, and the fire-user's ears rang from all the information that had just been thrown at him. He could not pinpoint how a friendly discussion about how things were back on Earth had transformed into an argument about Christmas and Easter and which was better, or how that had turned into the Guardians telling him about their journeys on his world and how it was 'whacked and I hate it'— Bunny's words— but the Summer Spirit could barely keep up.

He had not written more than a couple words since entering the room, the conversation moving too quickly for him to interject with his own thoughts and opinion. It was weird. The Guardians and Jack were so at ease. Ace was too, compared to his normal anyway, and yet even now he felt out of place. Again. Maybe his unease stemmed from being relative strangers with most of the people he was with while Jack mingled seamlessly with his old friends, maybe it was his lingering discomfort about anything to do with Earth, or maybe it the exhaustion that still prodded at his thoughts, making them slow and sluggish.

Or perhaps it was the things the Guardians were not saying. During their discussion they paused. They began to say something and stopped. They changed words around or started over. Ace may have believed they were trying to avoid talking about certain things because it was not safe to speak of them here, but he knew they were not just keeping secrets for safety's sake.

Ace had enough time— and desire— to study the Guardians, taking in their every feature for the first time that was real. His nightmares had been surprisingly accurate, likely relying on Pitch's memories of his enemies to place near-perfect images of them in the Summer Spirit's nightmares. North really did have tattoos on his arms. Bunny really did have green eyes. Tooth's feathers really were turquoise, blue, green, and gold.

He had never met them before today, but there was one 'discrepancy' in their appearances that gave him pause, specifically on Tooth. In all of Jack's stories and all of Ace's nightmares, she never had a dagger. Swords, yes. But a dagger? No.

Ace was not dumb. Not really. He had heard the stories, especially the one about Pitch's first defeat at Nightlight's hands, a thousand times. He knew what the diamond blade he could just see peeking out of its sheath probably was. It was a moonbeam dagger, the type that could seal Pitch. In all of their stories, they did not mention it once, purposely avoiding talking about it even when showing him their other weapons.

The Summer Spirit was not supposed to notice, that much was obvious, but his paranoid state of mind made him see discrepancies others would fail to spot, because strange things that were out of place usually resulted in pain for him in his nightmares. By trying to distract Ace from the dagger, the Guardians had ensured he would take note of it, and naturally he came up with one conclusion for why they refused to tell him about the thing that could stop Pitch.

They don't trust me. I already did something wrong.

It hurt. He should have expected it, but it still hurt. The perceived betrayal was only made worse that not even Jack had tried to tell him about the dagger, instead keeping his silence. In fact, the Winter Spirit seemed to be under the impression that Ace would be unobservant enough to not see it.

His doubts were coming back. He shoved them away for the millionth time. His vision swayed. His chest hurt.

Ace ignored it all. He had better things to do than wallow in self-pity. He listened as North vaguely explained about a 'special Snow Globe' he had, and suddenly the slight weight in the Summer Spirit's pocket seemed to be a lot heavier. His hand twitched but he could not bring himself to return the star-filled Globe to the Guardian of Wonder, instead sinking slowly into misery and self-doubt.

They already don't trust me enough to tell me about the dagger. If I show them I have the starry Snow Globe, they'll think I stole it or something. But if I don't give it back and they find out I have it it's even more likely they'll think I intentionally took it…

The tension in Ace's shoulders grew and he jumped when the Guardians of Hope and Wonder began belittling each other again— an hourly occurrence. The Summer Spirit was unable to crack a grin at their antics. So what if he was still uncomfortable and jumpy? So what if he could not summon the bravery or desire to return the Globe to North? So what if his vision was doubling again? So what if the Guardians did not trust him enough to tell him about the dagger? He. Was. Fine.

Jack cleared his throat. "Since Ace is here now and caught up, what else did you want to tell us?"

North glanced around, visibly hesitating, and then leaned forward. "Well—"

Two— Four? No, it was two— shapes crashed through the door. Ace shifted in front of Jack, ready to defend the Winter Spirit, only to lower his guard when he recognized Luffy and Sabo. He tensed up again when he heard the whisper of fire that always accompanied his blond-haired brother these days, but pushed his acute awareness of it into the 'ignore' pile. Sabo— who had landed on top of his smaller brother— stumbled to his feet first, face beet red as he noticed they had an audience.

"Hello!" he squeaked with an awkward wave, blue eyes flicking over the group. "You must be the Guardians. I'm Sabo, and this is Luffy."

The rubber man groaned. "Sabo's heavy."

Bunny gave a cough that sounded like he was covering a laugh. "You picked some real strange characters for your family, didn't you, Frostbite?" he muttered lowly.

Jack stepped on his foot.

Tooth pushed past them both, smiling brightly. "It's so nice to meet you. I'm Tooth."

"I guessed as much. Same to you." Sabo said, shaking her hand. He glanced over his shoulder at the open door nervously.

Luffy shifted his weight, hands clasped behind his back. "Hm."

Ace cringed internally. He had forgotten about the rubber pirate's… issues with the Spirits from Earth. At least Luffy was showing some restraint by not storming up to them and demanding to know why they had to 'take Ace'. The Summer Spirit looked down at his notebook, trying to think of a way to reassure his brother without revealing the portal that led to Earth, but he was not quick enough. The conversation moved on without him.

"So. Who are you hiding from?" Jack asked casually.

Sabo smiled innocently, though his blue eyes were wild. "No one."

Luffy pursed his lips, looking sideways suspiciously. The Winter Spirit sighed, keeping his glare on his youngest brother, and the rubber pirate began to sweat. Curious as well, Ace added his own neutral stare, and the Straw Hat Captain cracked.

"Gramps remembered his promise to train us." Luffy blurted.

Jack snorted. "Of course. Took him long enough. I'm surprised he didn't hunt you down sooner."

"I thought we were in the clear." Sabo lamented in a voice that would be a whine on a less… 'mature' individual. "It's been a week. Why did he decide now?"

It's Gramps, Ace thought.

"It's your crazy grandpa." Jack said, unknowingly echoing him. "What did you expect? A warning? A polite invitation? 'Dearest rubber grandson and blond brat— '" The Winter Spirit put on a lofty accent. "'—Please come to the island at nine o'clock sharp so I may pound you into mush. Many Fists of Love, Gramps.'"

Tooth, Bunny, and North chuckled. Luffy and Sabo looked horrified.

"That's not funny. You don't understand!" Luffy said, momentarily forgetting his beef with the Guardians. "Gramps is scary. He's going to kill us!"

The Guardians' mirth faded and they exchanged worried glances.

"Don't be over-dramatic. He won't kill you." Jack chuckled. "He'll just give you a few bumps on the head."

The Guardians' concern increased.

Animosity was completely forgotten when Luffy noticed. He flung himself at Bunny, clinging to the Pooka. "You gotta protect us!"

The Guardian of Hope's sympathy vanished like a snuffed-out candle. "Get. Off."

Luffy did not release him. Instead he wrapped himself around the poor Pooka, who snarled and tried to shove the rubber pirate away. Ace could not laugh at Bunny's misfortune. He put a hand to his aching chest, feeling as if he could not draw enough breath. His vision was blurring again.

"Ignore them, guys." Jack advised the Guardians. "They're just being babies. You survived Garp's training before, and you're stronger now than ever, so why are you acting like this is something new? You'll be fine. A bit black and blue, but fine."

Sabo gave the Winter Spirit a look of crestfallen betrayal. "How can you say that? I thought Guardians were supposed to protect children!" he said, almost hysterical.

Jack struggled to keep a straight face. "You're twenty-three. Luffy is almost twenty. You're adults, even though you don't act like it."

Ace barely held back a wince. His skin was beginning to feel clammy. Were his weeks without sleep finally catching up to him? His eyelids fluttered dangerously.

Maybe I should rest my head against the wa— Don't do it.

Ace rubbed at his arms, resisting the urge to pinch himself into wakefulness.

Luffy gave a huff. "Fine. If you aren't going to hide us, we'll have to hide ourselves!"

The rubber pirate inched towards the door, peering out warily as he searched for Garp. The Winter Spirit looked ready to let him go with an amused grin on his face, only for his eyes to widen.

"Wait, Luffy." Jack said hurriedly. "I need to ask you something."

The rubber pirate backed into the room again, turning his head unnaturally. "What is it?"

"During the battle with Pitch, do you remember what happened when you were surrounded by Fearlings?" Jack questioned. "When Ace saved you?"

He glanced at the Summer Spirit, showing no signs of spotting his distress. Ace's head felt like a sledgehammer was being slammed into his skull, and he was finding it harder to focus.

Oh, so now you remember I exist, Ace snarled mentally. He instantly berated himself for his attitude.

Luffy squinted and put a finger to his forehead, trying to recall. "Kinda. I was out of it because a Fearling whacked me with something— seastone, maybe?— and everything was blurry. Why?"

"I'm just trying to solve a mystery." The Winter Spirit informed him, making the rubber pirate perk up in interest. "During the fight with Pitch, Ace was throwing around white flames. I saw him use them on some Fearlings when they were attacking Luffy. I couldn't see what they did, but when the fire vanished, the Fearlings were gone. Not burnt up and dissipated. Just… gone. And when he used it on Pitch… something happened. I'm trying to figure out what those flames were and what they did."

"So I was right." Bunny cut in. "Luffy was in the inferno, but he wasn't hurt by the 'white' fire."

Ace did not like the conversation they were having. Any of it. He did not want to be reminded of the battle with Pitch or anything that happened in it. But if Jack thought it was important, he supposed he should try to help find answers. He wrote in his notebook and went to tap Luffy's arm, but Tooth spoke before he could.

"What did the flames feel like? Were they hot? Did they hurt you?" the Fairy asked.

Even as he felt another bolt of hurt for being ignored— again— Ace prayed that the answer to the last question was 'no'. Sure, Luffy had no physical damage because of the strange white fire, but the Summer Spirit knew better than to think that meant the flames had not done something painful to his little brother. Especially since those same flames had made Pitch stumble about like he was having a heart attack.

"They didn't hurt me." Luffy said, alleviating the fire-user's fears. "I don' remember much but… there was this white light and I think I felt… warm?" He tipped his head, looking at Jack— not Ace. "It was like I was being hugged or wrapped in a blanket. I knew I was safe… but also like I was out at sea."

Sabo, Jack, and Ace's eyes went round. The three brothers fully understood what those words meant when coming from their youngest sibling. The Guardians were not so knowledgeable.

"What is the sea to you?" North asked.

Luffy did not hesitate to answer. "Freedom."

Tooth gave a small gasp. "I think I know what those flames were. They're like Jack's snowballs!"

Five pairs of eyes stared at her with varying degrees of confusion.

"Ace wasn't just created by Mother Nature." Tooth reminded them. "He was made a Spirit by Manny too. That means he's a potential Guardian, which means he gains abilities not only from Nature, but his center."

Something in Ace seemed to break, and at first, he did not know why. A bolt of pain lanced through his chest and his expression twitched. No one noticed.

Comprehension dawned on Jack's face. "I think I understand. One of my… stranger abilities is to create snowballs that make people experience fun and joy when it hits them. That's not a power you'd expect a Winter Spirit to have, but I do because it comes from being the Guardian of Fun."

"And your snowballs work on Pitch, don't they?" Tooth added eagerly.

"They made him smile and laugh not-evilly once, yeah." Jack confirmed, excitement growing.

"So what does that mean for Ace?" Sabo questioned. "His white flames made Fearlings vanish, Pitch act weird, and Luffy feel like he was safe and on the sea. What's his 'center'?"

"It's freedom, of course." Luffy said like it was obvious.

They all beamed at each other, thrilled by their discoveries. They were all so caught up in the conversation, none of them noticed the empty expression that had overcome Ace's features. The Summer Spirit's stomach was a knotted mess again and the first tendrils of panic crept back into his limbs, making them feel stiff and cold. Ace knew he had been 'created' by the Man in the Moon and Mother Nature. He knew that he had to usher the season of summer around Earth. But the thought of being a Guardian had never crossed his mind.

The pain in his chest was growing.

When Ace's brain finally began to work again, a single thought formed.

I can't be a Guardian.

For once, illogical fears were not the source of his self-depreciation. It was not simply insecurities that made him think such things, but harsh, cold facts. Ace could hardly begin to fathom being a Seasonal Spirit and all the duties that came along with it. Being a Guardian as well… it would be too much. He was not stable or strong enough to ever consider being a protector of children.

Dearest Manny, the children. Sure, he used to be pretty good with kids, and maybe that was why Tsar Lunar chose him, but now… how could the others even consider letting him near such small beings? Children were strong in their own ways, but Ace should not be anywhere near them. He was an unstable, dangerous, immoral time-bomb just waiting to explode and traumatize children for life. Guardians were supposed to be pillars of strength, stability, and morality that kids could look up to, and Ace was none of those things. He lied. He cheated. He hated. He killed.

But that was not the worst part. That was not made his chest constrict painfully and his hands shake. Ace did not simply think he was unsuitable to be a Guardian. He knew, for a fact, that he did not want to be.

Not that his opinion mattered.

The others were still talking, further discussing the 'white flames' and 'centers' and what Ace might be able to do with them. The fire-user tried to listen to their conversation but his mind refused to move on from 'potential Guardian'. The Guardians were heroes and he was the monster that stuck to the shadows and did what they would not. Sure, Ace would help if kids were in trouble, but doing so as an official Guardian…? How could the Summer Spirit be 'potential Guardian material'? They had to be out of their minds.

And they were still talking like his position as one of Manny's chosen was assured. They spoke like he already had a spot as one of them, like the Man in the Moon had already claimed him as one of his elite Spirits. None of them talked to Ace about it. None of them asked for his opinion about 'white flames' and 'centers' and being a 'potential Guardian'. None of them asked if he was okay with any of it, or if he even if he wanted to be a Guardian.

It was like he did not have a choice in the matter.

And it was making Ace angry.

They say my center is freedom. Since when have I ever been 'free' to do anything I wanted? People always try to choose for me. They always try to control me. So many options were taken from me simply because I was the Pirate King's son. In the end, being a pirate was my only choice because most others would lead to my death if I was ever discovered. Gramps wanted me to be a Marine, not even considering that maybe I'd want to be something else. No. I would be a Marine. Whitebeard wanted me to be a part of his crew, not thinking that maybe I had more reason than wanting him dead to refuse. I promised my brother I would be free, and although I thought I found freedom with Oyaji, I did not truly have a choice. I would become part of his crew.

Ace's hands clenched into fists. Mother Nature made me into a Seasonal Spirit, when I could have become a lesser Nature Spirit that would not require me to go to Earth. But no. I would be one of her Seasons. Tsar Lunar made me a Guardian, apparently. Because no, my choices don't matter. I don't get a choice. I'm going to be a Guardian in the future whether I want to be or not because he 'chose' me. If I refuse at first, the offer will 'remain open' because in the end, I'll give in and join up, just like Jack did.

His body was beginning to feel hot, ferocious, untamed heat spreading throughout his skin. It's even worse now than before. Do this, Ace. Don't do that, Ace. You're sick, Ace so you can't do these things. Ace, you can't go there because you're a stupid nutcase and can't be trusted to not fall overboard. Stop blaming yourself, Ace. Stop feeling bad, Ace. We're going everywhere with you, Ace, because you aren't allowed to be alone. You aren't allowed to do this, either. Or this. Or this or this—

Ace only noticed he had burst into flames when Luffy yelped and scrambled away from him. The fire covered his skin like armor or a shield, roaring and snarling angrily as it manifested from his rage. It did not stretch out much, only extending to a couple inches over his skin, but the heat was enough to send most of the other occupants of the room scurrying backwards. The Summer Spirit glared straight ahead, eyes glowing like miniature suns and a furious snarl on his face.

Like hell I'm a 'potential Guardian'. I don't want to be a Guardian or Seasonal Spirit. I don't want to be a Whitebeard Pirate or the Pirate King's son. I want to be Ace. I want to be what I want to be. I'm not some damn child that can be forced to join your club. I'm not some mindless pawn that you can pass around from group to group. I am sick and tired of old geezers that think that they can control my life. They don't get to take my freedom away from me!

All Ace could see was flames. Orange flickered over his vision, accompanied by white, and the sight of the lighter color only enraged him further. He did not have a 'center'. He was not going to be a Guardian, dammit. A small part of him whispered that his anger was dangerous and illogical, and while the Summer Spirit agreed, he refused to try to smother it.

Instead he took off, the anger still boiling within, and ignored every person that called out to him. A wind blew before him, shoving away anyone who foolishly tried to approach, and he stormed onto the deck with none opposing him.

Ace looked up at the night sky and gritted his teeth. Screw it.

He shot into the sky, tuning out the panicked shouts that followed him. The Summer Spirit flew as fast as he could, trying to put as much distance between himself and the ships as possible. He did not have a destination or plan. He did not falter, slow, or think about the consequences of what he was doing. His head hurt. His body ached. His chest burned. Heat should not hurt Ace but the fire he could feel inside was unbearable, as if Akainu was attempting to rip out his heart. He needed to get far away. Far, far away.

So he flew and flew until he was certain none were following him or would reach him and be consumed by the inferno. The sky was growing gloomier, turning from a star-filled dark blue to black, and the fire-user closed his eyes, feeling the wind pick up. It hit his face, eager and angry and wild, and after one final scan of the sea that was empty except for a small rocky island, Ace exhaled.

Then he screamed.

No sound came from the Summer Spirit. Instead, the weather screamed for him. The wind became a gale. Lightning ripped through the sky. Fire and water poured from the clouds, striking the ocean like bullets and making the water churn like a furious beast. Ace threw out his arms, targeting the water, and the next lightning strike was so strong it seemed to split the sea apart. He did not know if he was venting out his frustrations, screaming in anguish, or throwing one of the most colossal hissy fits in history, but Ace did not care. He could not care.

The sea writhed, small waves growing into tsunamis, but Ace kept his savage control over the storm, pushing the water away from the direction of the ships and breaking the waves apart with the wind. The island below him weathered away, piece by piece, unable to stand before the might of his power. The Summer Spirit screamed and shrieked and laughed without noise, the wind and lightning acting as his voice, and basked in the chaos and destruction he wrought.

Mother Nature did not order him to do this. Tsar Lunar could not command him to stop. Ace had not conjured it out of fear, or to protect someone, but because he wanted to, because he chose to. This was his storm. He had created it. He wielded it. He was the one in control.

There were none around to be caught up in it, so the Summer Spirit let loose, releasing all the rage that he could. The need to destroy, to scream, to show his fury to the world overcame him and his fire roared, turning into a cyclone of anger and death.

He spotted white amongst the flickers of orange flames. According to the Guardians, it probably came from his center. His center, which was freedom, yet doomed him to become one of the Man in the Moon's Guardians.

The laughing stopped. The screaming stopped. The storm faded as well.

The fire stayed. Orange and white.

Ace glared at it, willing it to cease. He wanted it gone. He wanted it out of his sight. The tornado it created vanished, but the flames surrounding his body refused to fade.

He despised them. He hated them for what they represented. He wanted them to die.

Ace forcibly smothered the cursed white flames and plunged from the sky, landing hard on the remnants of the stone island. Agony tore through his chest and he would have howled in pain if he could. As it was, he clawed at his own flesh like doing so would remove all the unwanted curses in his skin. He writhed and rolled and scratched like a man possessed, but the fire and the sand refused to leave. He was still poisoned. He was still a Nature Spirit. He was still a future Guardian.

Eventually Ace sank to the ground, covered his face, and wept uncontrollably. He felt the moonlight shining on him and curled up into a tighter ball, shuddering. Why was it breaking through the clouds? Why was it on him? Why could it not leave him alone, in peace?

I'm not yours! Ace thought, wishing he could scream the words at the distant moon. I'm not your Spirit. I'm not your child. I'm not your Guardian! I'm. Not. Yours!

It just did not make sense. How was he supposed to have 'freedom' as his center when he was practically a servant or prisoner of every party that had an interest in him? He was expected to become a Season for Mother Nature. He was 'chosen' to be a Guardian one day, whether he wanted to or not. Whenever he slept, he was at Pitch's mercy, unable to escape the prison that was his nightmares any more than he could escape Impel Down.

He did not want to live like that.

He just wanted to be free.

Freedom. Ace's center. His stupid 'potential Guardian' center.

Ace smiled, the expression unnatural and broken and not even close to reaching his eyes. Yeah, that makes so much sense. I'm such a great representation of freedom. What a joke. I'm not free. I've never been free. I'll never be free. When I was alive, my father's legacy shackled me. When I became a Spirit, my matriarch and patriarch bound me. Even now, I do not have the freedom to sleep because Pitch and fears control my dreams. I don't have any options.

But I do have another option, the coldest part of his mind whispered. There's one way to escape all of their plans for me. It would be selfish, but also selfless, because it would help so many of my friends in the long run.

Ace shrank away from that line of thought, even now. There had to be another way. He could not be so selfish and abandon his loved ones like that. But if he was dead, no one would be able to force him to do anything ever again. Mother Nature would not need him. Tsar Lunar would not want him. Pitch would not torment him anymore.

Ace's eyes dropped to the black marks on his wrists and his shattered grin widened so much his cheeks hurt. His thoughts were wrong. He still had a chance to escape one of his fates. He could still try to remove the sand. There were no babysitters, no shadows, and no Pitch to stop him this time.

The Summer Spirit did not hesitate to rip the bandages off his forearms, staring hatefully at the poison visible in his flesh. He had to get it out. He would get it out. It was the reason why he was like this. It was to blame for how weak he had become. Maybe once the sand was gone, he would return to who he once was, and be confident and strong enough to tell the Man in the Moon to take his offer and shove it.

Ace did not have extra bandages, a bucket, or a way to alert anyone if he was in trouble. He did not have a carefully laid out plan or a premeditated series of steps to follow. He did not care. He had a scalpel and that was all he needed for his operation.

The first line Ace carved in his forearm was small and shallow, barely longer than an inch. A small bit of red and black trickled out, dripping down his left wrist. It was not enough. It was not nearly enough. He made another cut, grimacing, and watched his blood fall onto the stone. Ace made a third slice, longer, deeper. More crimson fell. More black. He started feeling a little lightheaded but ignored it, scoffing at his own weakness. The sight of blood never frightened him, so it should not now. He needed to stop being a coward and do what needed to be done.

The next slit— on his right arm this time— went deeper then Ace intended. He grunted, flinching, and nicked his arm again on accident, gouging a jagged line up the side of his wrist. It was beginning to hurt, the slight stinging sensation becoming genuine agony. The Summer Spirit wheezed raggedly, refusing to cry because of a little bit of pain, and lifted his arm, angrily wiping at the blood in an attempt to see the marks. The sand hardly seemed affected, barely any lines vanishing as he drained it from his flesh.

It was not working. There was too much sand. If he had tried earlier, before Pitch's attack, he might have succeeded, but now the sand was streaked up his arms, down his legs, and on his shoulders and stomach once more. He would not be able to remove it without bleeding out at this rate. Despair gripped Ace's heart, colder than the harshest part of winter, and with a soundless howl he dragged the scalpel up his arm, cutting up the stitches from his old injury along with his forearm.

Still not enough. I'm not even close to being free of this. I will never be free.

Sandy might be able to remove the sand, but it was not a certainty. Truthfully, Ace would most likely die from the poison, like Pitch promised he would. It was such a slow, unnecessary way to die, and all it was doing was dragging others down with him. The others did not seem to realize he was fading, that he would fail. They did not seem to know the sand was as good as a death sentence. But Ace knew. He knew that staying with his friends and making them watch him crumble was probably the most selfish thing he could do.

Without fully realizing what he was doing, Ace slowly lifted the scalpel, putting it to his own throat. He could feel his heart pounding, pushing cursed blood through his veins, and despised it for continuing to beat and keep him trapped in his painful second life. He could feel blood and sand trickling down his arms and mentally recoiled, despising the vile substances all the more.

If I do it, I'll be free. Free of the sand, my fears, my broken mind, and their intentions for me. Then my friends will be free to finally move on. They'll be free of me. I won't hold them back anymore. They won't have to care about me or waste time for me anymore. I won't burden them and they'll finally be able to live their lives. Do it.

Ace's hands would not move. He tried to force them, to drag the scalpel across his throat, but his limbs refused to follow his commands, remaining paralyzed. His arms shook, and the sharp tool nicked his neck, causing a bolt of pain. The Summer Spirit gasped, dropping the scalpel on instinct, and it fell onto the rock, clattering loudly as it landed in the pool of crimson and black.

Ace stared at it, gaze locked on the red splattered all over the once-clean blade. His shoulders quaked and he began laughing again. Laughing and sobbing, feeling his heart tear into shreds, with only the Moon around to witness his breakdown. He could not even do this. He was not strong enough.

The Summer Spirit tilted his head back, staring at the serene orb floating in the sky, and although he knew it was not the Man in the Moon's home, he still directed his thoughts at it like Tsar Lunar could hear him.

Why? he thought. Why did you have to bring me back?

The moonlight shifted.

Ace stiffened as he watched it move and dance, words translating themselves in his mind without him knowing how. The Moon was speaking to him. He was apologizing. Tsar Lunar apologized for not speaking to him before. He apologized for upsetting him, and not considering if he wanted to be a Guardian. But most importantly, he apologized for making the Summer Spirit believe his freedom was being taken from him.

Ace let his gaze drop to the stone he perched upon once more. Can you take my powers away? Can you turn me back into a human? Please?

The Moon, either hearing his wish somehow or guessing what it was, said he could not reverse the transformation that turned Ace into a Spirit. That was beyond his power, or anyone's for that matter, and the fire-user would remain the Spirit of Summer until he died, if he ever did at all.

Tsar Lunar admitted that he did not think of Ace's feelings or thoughts when he and Mother Nature turned him into the Spirit of Summer. He only thought about Jack and what would make the Winter Spirit happy, while Emily Jane saw a strong soul that she thought was worthy of controlling a Season. They did not think about his own wishes, or what he would be forced to do and leave behind because of their influence.

But that did not mean that Ace did not have the power to control his own fate. It was true that Ace did not choose to become a Spirit. It was true that he could not refuse to shepherd summer on Earth. However, Manny could grant him one choice.

The Man in the Moon promised he would not pick the Summer Spirit to become a Guardian. Instead, if Ace wished it one day, he could ask the Moon if he could join. He could choose if he wanted to be a Guardian, because he wanted to be one, not because the Moon appointed him. It was all Tsar Lunar could offer, that one choice among the many that Ace never had.

Ace's center was freedom for a reason. Although some paths were out of his reach, there were many more he could still follow. Some foes he could not beat, but many others could be fought. His center came from the ability to act, fight, choose, speak, and think as he wanted, unrestrained by the wills and whims of others. Tsar Lunar guessed that, but he tried to cage Ace anyway, tried to keep him from being able to do what he desired by his own merit.

If he asked Ace to become a Guardian, he would feel obligated to. His ability to choose his own path would be taken. That would be like Manny forcing Jack not to have fun, or Bunny to not have hope, or Sandy to not give dreams. It was not his right to interfere with a Spirit's center, and so the choice would be Ace's alone. If he wished to become a Guardian, he could ask. If he did not, he was not bound to.

It was the best Tsar Lunar could offer given the circumstances of the Summer Spirit's rebirth… and it may be enough. There were many things out of Ace's control, but some decisions could still be his.

Ace was a Spirit of Earth, and Mother Nature's Summer, and Pitch's prisoner whenever he slept, but he did not have to be Manny's Guardian. Not if he did not wish to be.

The Moon grew silent. Ace could not begin to guess if it was because whatever he had done to communicate with the Summer Spirit after so long without talking had finally worn out, or Tsar Lunar simply had nothing else to say. Manny's words raced around Ace's head, gently asserting themselves in his mind, and the fire-user never felt more lost and alone.

Could it really be that easy?

Did the Man in the Moon truly mean his offer, or was he simply trying to prevent his potential Guardian from ending his life?

Ace's gaze returned to the bloody scalpel and his wrists and he trembled. Comprehension was slow in coming, but he began to understand what he had done, and intended to do. And yet it did not scare him. In fact, he still was not certain he wanted to stay, to live. He was still bound to Earth. He was still corrupted by the sand. He was still a burden, and so many terrible things were still his fault.

Life was hard, and a constant uphill battle, and he was not sure he had the strength to fight for it anymore. He'd hurt himself. He had mutilated his own flesh under the guise of getting the sand out, when maybe he was actually hoping he would nick something important and die. The realization hurt, more than his wrists ever could, and the shame made Ace want to pick up the scalpel in order to escape the consequences he knew would come. But that would be the cowardly and cruel way out.

Even now, he could not end his life.

He could not do that to his brothers. He could not hurt them like that. The gashes on his wrists would already cause them grief— and Ace was a fool for believing otherwise— but he could not find the apathy to cast them aside and abandon them completely. They were his brothers, and loved him, and wanted him to live.

Maybe he should stop being selfish while pretending to be selfless, and want to live too.

Ace threw the scalpel into the sea, watching it sink below the waves. It left red streaks in its wake, which quickly dissipated in the large body of water. His heart grew less heavy, even though his wounds stung, and he shut his eyes, exhaling slowly.

I— I almost— I tried to—

Ace put a hand to his mouth, overcome by remorse and guilt. He had made a mistake. He had made so many mistakes. There would be consequences, and anger, and tears, but the Summer Spirit knew there was one more possible mistake to make before he faced his brothers.

His eyes slipped closed and he forced them open, fighting against the exhaustion— or unconsciousness— that sought to claim him. Ace had to go back. He had to return to his brothers, reveal what he had done, and beg for forgiveness. He tried to lift himself off the stone but his limbs would not support his weight. The fire-user struggled but soon gave up, laying his head back on his lonely perch. His vision winked in and out and he slowly acknowledged he was falling unconscious. The instinctive urge to fight struck him but it was soon torn away by the thought that had been nagging him, one that came to him eagerly now that his mind was less dark and muddled.

If Ace's center was Freedom… he might be able to free himself of black sand. And not through his more questionable methods. The black sand was a poison. It was a curse. It lay within his skin, dictating and controlling his life. If not for Mother Nature's failsafe, Ace would be a Fearling, one of Pitch's slaves. Because of the sand, he was forced into nightmares whenever he slept. The sand was chaining him, preventing him from living his life and hindering him so he could not experience true freedom.

The thought angered Ace. Defiance trickled through his skin, warming his heart and clearing his mind, and he understood. He knew what he could do. He knew what he had to do. His brothers would disagree. They would delay, and protest, and deny, but the Summer Spirit knew he was right. He knew he could do it.

It was becoming harder to stay awake, his injuries and lack of sleep consuming him at last. But he was not afraid. Not this time. When Ace fell asleep again he would not drift helplessly through nightmares hope the sand would let him return to the real world. This time, he would make the sand release him. But he also would not simply shove it away and pretend it did not exist.

He would face it. He would destroy it. He would purge it from his skin.

He was Ace. He was a Spirit. He was Summer. He was freedom.

The black sand hindered that freedom.

His fears hindered that freedom.

Ace would not bow to his fears anymore.

Never again.

For the first time in hours, days, weeks, months Ace relaxed, letting go of his frantic grip on consciousness. His exhaustion pounced, ready to devour him, and the fire-user welcomed its embrace with open arms. His arms fell to his sides, his vision faded out, and for a moment, the Summer Spirit teetered on the edge of consciousness. He distantly heard Jack screaming his name.

Ace wondered if he had just made one final— fatal— mistake.

And then the darkness claimed him.

ROTGOPROTGOP

A/N: Over 15,000 words. Whoa.

Welcome to "Everything Goes Wrong" Part Two. Or maybe it's "Almost Everything Goes Wrong and Could Either Get Better or Much Worse" Part One. The mood whiplash is real in this one, and for the most part it was intentional. At first, this was two chapters, but I put them together because the original ending made it feel… incomplete. I also wanted to show Ace's final swan dive in one chapter. So I combined the two and left you with a cliffie instead of a hope spot that would be ground to dust in the next week. Aren't I the nicest?

And so Ace's existential crisis comes to a head. He finally showed all that anger and grief to the world, and boy was it about time. I warned you all that suppressing was going to cause an explosion. Ace fooled himself into thinking he was fine, but he really wasn't, and the stress kept building. Yet another choice was taken from him, and Ace could not hold it in anymore. The news that he was expected to become a Guardian was the straw that broke the camel's back.

Believing his freedom was going to be taken away, (even more than it already has) caused him to lose his mental battle at last and finally break down. His control snapped and he went into a fiery rage, before crumbling like a dying star or a fire without anything to keep it lit. Luckily, Manny gave him something to hold onto and reignite his flame. He gave Ace a choice, and more importantly, promised him the freedom to choose. It was enough to pull Ace away from the edge, though not enough to stop him from falling unconscious again at last.

The next few chapters have been planned ever since Ace got infected with the black sand. I can't wait for you to read them.

Thanks to everyone who read, reviewed, followed, and favorited!

Responses to Guest reviews:

To whoo: Thank you! I'm glad you liked it. Indeed, you called it again. You know my writing style so well. ^-^ Why does no one ever believe me? (pouts) XD

To Q: Thank you! I'm happy you enjoyed the reveal. :D

Please review!