Roman strolled through the abandoned southern streets of Vale, smoking on a cigar he nicked from one of the shops.
Roman no longer gave a shit about anything at this point.
He could handle the fact the world was populated by criminals with unimaginable powers. He could handle the fact he had met Shrek and the Frenchmen from Monty Python's the Holy Grail. He could handle the fact he had somehow managed to summon Gaston as a Heroic Spirit, even though that should not have been possible. But now, after seeing Adolf Hitler teaming up with Joseph Stalin, Winston Churchill, Optimus Prime, Stroheim, and Kamina in a mecha-squad, he just plain could no longer give a shit anymore.
Well, this city ain't my problem anymore.
The longer he stayed in this city, the more likely he would get his ass kicked in by someone with god powers or timey-wimey bullshit, and unlike his ex-girlfriend, he was kinda fragile.
Now that that blonde witch was dead for good, he no longer had to worry about staying on a team for his own protection. Maybe he shouldn't have ditched Peters and the lady twins, but his own safety was far more important.
He was a survivor, first and foremost.
He could probably recall Gaston back to him if he ran into trouble, but he could defend himself well enough on his own. Neo was probably off with Weiss's group, so now seemed like the best time to bail.
The streets of Vale's southern districts looked absolutely deserted. Aside from the corpses that had been rotting there for weeks, there was no sign of anybody anywhere, and there was not even a single car or truck to jack.
Yet, even while Vale's gloomy, rotting stench lingering above the city streets, Roman for once was able to find peace.
"Just a few more miles until I'm finally free of this damn city."
Roman giggled with joy now that his own freedom was close at hand. Upon further reflection, however, it was clear he was starting to go insane.
I'm starting to lose it, aren't I?
The sharply-dressed criminal began to spin his cane about as he skipped and strolled down the street, singing about Singing in the Rain even though it wasn't raining.
Far out in the distance, where a thin fog began to grow, a shadowy figure began to strut towards him, its steps echoing throughout the streets.
At first, Roman thought nothing of it, but as it loomed closer, when he was able to make out its details more clearly, what he saw truly horrified him.
"Oh no… Oh no no no no…"
Holding her umbrella over her shoulder, Neopolitan Gasai emerged from the fog, her dead, mismatched eyes watching him ever so longingly.
Roman's eyes darted around in panic, looking for the best possible route for escape, yet every time he lifted his eyes off her, she moved in closer and closer, far too swiftly for her to have moved in just a few seconds.
Seeing an alleyway nearby, Roman began backing away. "Hey, Neo, watcha doing in this part of the city? The bank's all the way back that way… Huh?"
Just as suddenly as she had appeared, Neo was gone.
"Well, that was a…"
Of course, it was only a second before his mind began to register what had just happened.
Great, just real fucking swell.
As footsteps rapidly approached from behind, Roman made a simple sweep of his cane and blocked Emerald's attack.
"The hell do you want, Emerald?"
"Not telling!"
Emerald Sustrai made several slashes at the master criminal, but he simply blocked them all with his cane.
Out of the corner of his eye, however, something was coming down from above.
-BAM!-
Just before Bowser's hulking mass could smash him to a pulp, Roman rolled out of the way, only to watch as a schoolgirl wearing a white sailor's outfit came barreling at him from out of the alleyway with a billhook cleaver. Roman had absolutely no fucking idea who she was, nor did he recognize the maid who followed after her.
Roman had to block five rapid blows from the psychotic schoolgirl, unable to parry or gain the initiative. He had fought opponents of a similar caliber sometime in the past, but now that there were four potential adversaries, there was no way he would be able to hold his own.
It was a good thing he hadn't used any command scrolls yet.
Roman lifted his fist up close. "Gasto…"
-POW!-
Before Roman understood just what was happening, something heavy smashed into him from behind and pounded his face into the ground. With machine-like strength he felt his left arm rotated upward until it snapped.
"YEEEOOOOW!"
Even after the initial shock of pain, Roman's body, with a thick hand curled tightly around his throat, was thrown up against the building behind him.
"Okay! Okay! I give! I give! Seriously, what do you guys want?"
When Roman had opened his eyes, not only did he see Bowser, Emerald, and the two other girls, but Cardin, now reduced to a mere zombie, was the one holding him up. Of course, when Jaune also came into view, he knew he was fucked.
"Well fuck."
"What?" said the maid, whose voice he instantly recognized. "Are you not excited for our happy family reunion?"
"Yes," said Emerald, "a happy family reunion."
"We've got a special delivery to make for the Fairy Godmother. You're just gonna have to be the Pretty Princess for a while. GWAHAHAHAHAHA!"
The three ladies laughed along with him. But in the midst of this, the girl in the sailor outfit stopped and said, "Why are we laughing again?"
In the blink of a moment, Nora came flying at Weiss at full speed, with Weiss just barely dodging a blow from Ea at the last second. Even though the attack blew a massive crater into the rubble and the buildings behind it, everyone but the goons trapped underneath had escaped unscathed.
With Nora's back exposed, Weiss used the power of The Force to fling her lightsaber from her hip, activating it in midair.
Nora, however, had other ideas. "Get a load of this, Weiss!"
With her immense, ogre-like strength, Nora swept Ea through the ground clockwise, causing the concrete streets to collapse into the sewers below. The air blast from the sword's momentum had repelled Weiss's lightsaber back.
"Everyone get back!" cried the Monarch, as the others tried to escape from the rapidly crumbling infrastructure.
Weiss quickly hopped onto one of her glyphs, while conjuring another one to shank Nora from behind, though Nora had simply back-flipped onto the conjured arm.
"Ha! You'll never catch me, Weiss Schnee! I'm the Gingerbread Man! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!"
As soon as she said this, Weiss felt powerful magical energies well up nearby, and she jumped up into the air as several treasures shot out from Nora's Gates of Babylon.
Phew, that was close.
"Weiss!" Velvet's voice shouted from behind her, "Let me help!"
As Velvet got close, she took a picture of Nora's gigantic, glowing red sword.
"Hey, this is supposed to be our epic duel! Don't interrupt our super-cool fight!"
"But Weiss is my waifu and I'm gonna protect the shit out of her so I can sleep with her and steal her underwear and sniff it every night before I go to bed!"
"I'm just going to pretend I didn't hear that," said Weiss.
"That's gotta be the most bullshit reason I've ever heard, and that's coming from a girl who formed an evil team of supervillains just because somebody stole her precious pancakes! THEY'RE MY PANCAKES GODDAMMIT!" Nora sighed. "Okay, if you really, really want to join the fight, you can. You guys still won't be able to beat me with my evil sexy vampire powers."
"Oh really?" replied Velvet, who was now conjuring a replica of Ea with her weapon and semblance.
"What?" Nora said in shock. "How the fuck did you do that! Gilgamesh's sword is supposed to be un-copyable and stuff, and not even Shirou Emiya could do that even though he was the main protagonist and he had super copy powers! That's fucking bullshit!"
"Well, I just did it."
"I SHALL HAVE VENGEANCE! HIYAAAA…!"
Tossing her own grenade launcher aside, Nora stepped forward, gripped Ea with both hands, and then drove it straight toward the ground like a giant sledgehammer, though Velvet blocked the blow with her bluish copy.
-BOOOOOOM!-
The collision of the two sacred ancestral swords created a supersonic rush of air which sent Weiss flying backwards for at least a dozen miles or so. Much like her earlier encounter with Hitler, the world seemed to spin around her, until she came crashing down into the pavement, somehow mostly unscathed.
Once she regained consciousness, Ren's sloth animatronic was standing right above her.
-SCREEEEEEE!-
Weiss was quick to roll before robo-Ren's hard mechanical jaw punctured into her skull, and she quickly whipped out Myrtenaster for a swift counterattack.
Ren cartwheeled out of the way and then sprung back in to deliver two punches, followed up by a roundhouse kick and an elbow strike aimed for Weiss's spine, which Weiss was only able to deflect with a well-timed shield glyph.
Even though Ren's momentum had been stopped by the glyph, he recovered almost instantly and continued on, attacking Weiss relentlessly with a seemingly endless barrage of punches, kicks, and fancy Kung-Fu tricks. Ren might not have been nearly as powerful as Nora at this point, but he seemed to have grown vastly more powerful since the battle at Jerry's Bucktooth Cafe.
Whenever she had the chance, Weiss plunged her signature sword into the ground to try and trap Ren with her ice attacks, though robo-Ren was much too quick for her.
The hell do I do now?
Weiss wasn't even sure what part of the city she was in, since Ren's constant harassment prevented her from investigating her surroundings, but it still seemed like she was somewhere in the main city. She wasn't quite sure whether she had passed by this area before, but almost everything looked wrecked.
Even with the clashes of battle ringing far out in the distance, this area seemed unusually quiet. By this point, Weiss had grown accustomed to her enemies' taunting and bantering, so, aside from the initial scream, Ren's unusual silence made her feel a bit uneasy.
Somewhere in the east, Roman's voice broke the silence.
Weiss instantly knew what she had to do.
"Sorry, I've gotta run."
Conjuring up a haste glyph underneath herself, Weiss propelled herself up the building just a few feet behind her, prompting a loud, furious, cry from robo-Ren. Even with his incredible agility, all Weiss had to do was prop up a glyph barrier to temporarily set him back.
Even though Weiss and Roman had barely met prior to this day, Ruby had often mentioned how they would need his help to take on Nora. Now more than ever seemed like the best time to receive another helping hand, especially with Ruby, Frollo, and Adam missing.
Somewhere out in the northern districts, a line of war mechs was advancing towards the company square, but a blast from Gilgamesh's sword thew many of them back and overturned everything in a ten-degree arc from the point of impact to the shore.
Once this battle was over, it would be a miracle if anyone would still want to live here.
Even with her deft maneuvers, Ren was still gaining on her, as Weiss could only run so fast while Ren had both his bio-mechanical legs and his rigorously honed Kung-Fu skills.
While leaping from one rooftop to another, Weiss tripped on a broken ledge, causing her to fall into the streets below with Ren close on her tail.
Shit!
With robo-Ren just feet away from her, she would not have enough time to dodge the impact of his metallic bulk.
But, just at the most convenient time possible, a Chinook transport flew by.
-POW!-
The impact from the bullet sent Ren's trajectory off course, slamming him straight into the pavement and causing one of his arms to come flying off. Weiss was able to correct her own fall and thereby continue running as if nothing had happened. While ascending up the next abandoned apartment building, Weiss turned her head south, to see President Underwood overlooking the streets from the scope of his sniper rifle.
"Thanks, Mr. President!" Weiss called out.
"No worries, kiddo. Always remember you've got friends over in the White House."
Now that Ren seemed to be out of the picture, Weiss continued her trek over the city rooftops, and at about four blocks over, Weiss had found Mr. Torchwick and his fan club.
Before any of them had caught on to what was going on, Weiss whipped out her Calico, and fired straight at the skull of the cleaver girl from before.
Shortly after the girl started falling forwards, Bowser turned his head towards the heiress. "What the… Oh crap…"
Weiss emptied two more bullets into Bowser's head, landing on the back of his shell shortly after.
Even though Weiss had never seen the maid girl before in her life, she emptied a few more bullets just to make sure.
"Yo Ice Lady!" Roman called out, only to have his face slammed into the sidewalk by his two zombie bodyguards.
Even after her Weiss had just swiftly dispatched the rest of her gang, Emerald drew out her scimitar blades and rushed towards Weiss.
All Weiss had to do was encase Emerald in a solid block of ice, and she was completely neutralized as a threat.
"That was almost too easy."
Weiss stepped forth to challenge Jaune and Cardin's animated corpses, but neither one budged nor demonstrated any signs of letting go of him. She could probably encase them in another one of her ice attacks, or use some other technique to quickly dispatch of them.
Though, considering some of the individuals she had just dispatched of she had plenty of tools to choose from.
Weiss first attempted to lift up Emerald's scimitar-pistols, but for whatever reason, they didn't seem to move. The orange-haired girl's cleaver, however, was perfectly functional.
Although both Jaune and Cardin attempted to use Roman's body as a shield, Weiss was able to get the jump on them using her conjured arm glyph technique, thereby hacking them to pieces.
Watching out for any enemies waiting to ambush her, Weiss cautiously approached the white-suited criminal, holding his battered face up as Cardin and Jaune's bits and pieces fell to the ground in a bloodless mess. Although Roman still seemed to be alive, he was just barely breathing, and blood leaked from his once pristine face.
Considering Nora could be coming for her at any moment, the heiress allowed his body to rest.
Footsteps began to approach from down the block, even though there was no way anyone could have approached without her noticing, barring any magical means.
When Weiss turned to look, Italian Spiderman was standing just a few yards away from her, followed by Mario and Luigi. Out of the corner of her eye, Emerald's body seemed to have disappeared.
"Thought you might need this, pussy-cat."
Italian Spiderman pulled out the hilt of a lightsaber from his pockets and then tossed it to Weiss. She wasn't sure how he had managed to retrieve the thing, or how he had managed to find her, but then again he was Italian Spiderman, so just about anything was possible for him.
After briefly examining the object, Weiss holstered it to her side and curtsied. "Thank you."
"No need to thank me, I'm just here to fill up screen time."
"Gee whiz Mario! Look at that poor handsome gentleman!"
The two Mario brothers ran up to Roman and propped him up.
"Man, I would hate to see such a good kisser go to waste. Alright, Luigi, lets hand him one of those mushrooms we just got from the supermarket."
Propping Roman's right arm over his shoulder, Luigi fished a healing mushroom out of his pockets and force-fed it to the cane-wielding chap.
Although Roman's wounds were slow to recover, he slowly regained consciousness.
"He's alive Mario!"
The well-dressed criminal groaned as he struggled to reacquaint himself to his current situation. "Mario? Luigi? Freaking Italian Spiderman?" Torchwick was silent for a few seconds before focusing all of his attention on Weiss. "Shit! They got away!"
"Emerald," Weiss replied, "right?"
"Witch-lady was with her. I'm surprised they didn't gimp you on the spot. You fell for her illusion tricks easy enough." Roman squinted at Weiss. "Why the fuck do you have a beard?"
"I've had this for a while. I've tried to cut it off but it just keeps growing back."
Wriggling his arms out of the Mario brothers' grasp, Roman brought one of his fists close and then shouted, "GASTON TO ME!"
A reddish glow radiated from the back of his hand as he used up one of his command scrolls, and only a second later, Gaston appeared just a few feet away from the group.
"You dare interrupt me in the midst of my glorious hunt?"
Now that Roman's Servant had appeared before them, Weiss felt like a total idiot.
"Dammit, why didn't I think of that earlier?"
Weiss then called out Frollo's name, prompting him to materialize before them as well.
"Convenient timing. I was just wondering where you had run off to."
"Alright," said Weiss, "it looks like we've got quite a few people here. Has anyone seen Ruby or Adam?"
"My guess is that she landed somewhere in Forever Fall," Frollo responded.
"Yeah," said Italian Spiderman, "she's hurt, but recovering. She'll be back in the fight in a couple of minutes. Same with Adam and Blake."
"Blake?" Roman asked.
"It's complicated."
"Basically, she's been fused with a robot," Weiss added.
Roman shrugged, "Meh, I'll take any explanation these days."
Italian Spiderman then fished out a tray of smoothie-like drinks. "So do any of you guys want protein shakes?"
"I'll take one!" Weiss said as she eagerly swiped one of the larger drinks off the tray.
"Gladly!" exclaimed Gaston, as he and Frollo also acquired drinks.
"No thanks, we're kinda full already," said Mario.
Roman, however, seemed reluctant to try the shakes, "Uh, what's in those things?"
"Trade secret," responded the red-sweater superhero.
Roman backed away, still skeptical of the shakes' contents.
Weiss, in the meantime, was happily guzzling down her drink through her straw. Even though it was only a mere protein shake, she felt herself rapidly growing in strength and energy, as if at any given moment she could fly high in the sky. Her conflict with Nora Valkyrie seemed months away.
As a matter of fact, why wasn't Nora chasing after her now?
Weiss looked out far ahead, where the cataclysmic destruction wrought by the twin Eas seemed to have subsided. Now that she felt recovered, Weiss was ready to take on Nora and her Herculian might.
"Wait," said Roman, staring at Weiss as she began to levitate off the ground, "did you just…"
"I feel like a new man today!" Gaston proclaimed.
Gaston then flexed his muscles, causing his shirt to burst into shreds.
Flabbergasted, Roman obtained one of the shakes for himself. "I just hope these things don't come with any nasty side effects."
Italian Spiderman tried offering his shakes to the Mario brothers once again, but once again they refused. "Anyway, I've gotta go now. Catch you guys later."
In an instant, Italian Spiderman disappeared from existence.
"Well, we don't need any of those fancy protein shakes anyway," said Mario. "We've got some magic of our own, if ya know what I'm saying. Ain't that right, Luigi?"
"You said it!"
Weiss then felt a sudden surge of energy rapidly charge toward them from far up ahead.
Dragging her giant red sword through the hundreds of buildings on west side of town, Nora was gliding on Gilgamesh's golden Vimana like it was her own personal hoverboard.
"Weiss Schnee, it's all ogre for you!"
With her left hand, Nora fired several blasts of energy into the streets below, using her other had to raise Ea up high.
With her newfound sense of power, Weiss flashed forward and conjured up several glyphs simultaneously to deflect each of Nora's energy attacks back at her. Even accounting for the spare Dust cartridges she carried on her, the maneuver somehow did not use of any of her Dust. In fact, the cartridges installed in Myrtenaster seemed to be refilling on their own.
With a speed rivaling that of robo-Ren, Frollo flashed across the city rooftops and moved in to intercept Nora, dodging most of her Super Saiyan attacks.
"Begone from this Earth, unholy abomination!"
As Frollo prepared to strike Nora with his holy sword of vengeance, Nora simply knocked the hilt of Ea into his chest, causing him to be thrown deep down into Hell itself.
"Ha! Eat that creepy old…"
-KABOOM!-
The blast from Gaston's empowered rifle shot the golden Hindu spaceship from underneath Nora, who was now sent tumbling forward.
"WAAAAAAH!"
Forgetting to adjust her balance with her Super Saiyan reflexes, Nora's eldritch sword plunged into the ground, creating a rift so wide the entire southern half of Vale was split in two. Luckily, everyone had managed to get above high ground to avoid falling in, including the Mario brothers, who had now donned capes.
The rift opened ever wider, as Nora's growling could be heard from below. "This fight isn't ogre yet!"
Thousands upon thousands of golden-shining gates opened up down below, and an equally large number of Gilgamesh's treasures shot up into the sky. In spite of their inherent strength, Weiss was able to block them with her glyphs, though Gaston didn't seem to be so lucky.
"These are but mere flesh wounds!"
Roman's servant, who had stood in front of his master to block most of the treasures, ripped out one of the weapons lodged into him and threw it back like a javelin, even though Nora's position wasn't quite clear.
Standing atop a rooftop just a few blocks away, Luigi turned to his brother and said, "Alright Mario, let's use our power stars!"
The Mario brothers then fished out a pair of glowing yellow stars and then brought them close to their chests, whereupon their own bodies began to glow as well.
"It's time to kick some Koopa ass!"
While this was happening, Nora had flashed out of the rift, and then flew at Weiss faster then she could register.
"Guess what Weiss? I know Kung Fu too!"
In this brief instant, Weiss happened to notice that Nora no longer seemed to have Ea on her person.
Although Weiss tried to counterattack with Myrtenaster and her lightsaber, Nora, no longer burdened by her sword, was much quicker to the punch.
-POW!-POW!-BANG!-
After her three initial blows, Nora unleashed a flurry of punches and kicks the likes of which Weiss had never seen before. Only Yang's stand, Asura, had ever delivered a comparable beating, though that was such a long time ago that Weiss had just barely remembered it. Although the power from her protein shake allowed her to endure most of the damage, she was still getting pretty badly bruised.
Even though the others had tried to interrupt Nora's beat-down, Nora had simply thrown Weiss across the city and then teleported to where she was to continue the assault.
After what had seemed like an eternity, Nora had pulled back for one last punch. "THIS IS WHAT YOU GET FOR TRYING TO STEAL MY PANCAKES, WEISS! TO THE MOOOOON!"
Her fist filled with the full power of her Super Saiyan vampire strength, hatred, and determination, Nora Valkyrie struck her knuckles into Weiss's stomach.
-BLAM!-
Nora's final blow sent Weiss skyrocketing. Even though Weiss's hobo body had somehow remained intact, she was almost knocked out cold, and the blow to her stomach and ribcage caused her to choke out blood.
For a brief moment, Weiss's body heated up rapidly as it ascended through the atmosphere, but then turned cold. With every second that passed, Remnant grew smaller and smaller, until she could see the whole mess of continents quite clearly. Even though much of the rest of the world lit up with activity, there were sizable craters of destruction where America had been. In the midst of her daze, Weiss could see the remnants of Russia and Brazil to the far northeast and southwest, which had been ravaged by the great GamerGate fiasco. Yet, even though she was so far out, she could still see the spindle of Nora's tower poking through the atmosphere.
As Weiss began to freeze, she could see the piercing brightness of the sun off to her right. With what remained of her consciousness, she knew Nora wouldn't follow her while its shining beams radiated throughout space.
Seconds later, Weiss felt her body crash into Remnant's shattered moon, which broke down even further with the force of the impact.
Strangely enough, she had no trouble breathing even with the lack of the oxygen in the moon's atmosphere.
Although she was still badly hurt from the fight, she knew that she would still have to fight on.
Yet, the quietness and tranquility of space was ever so tempting.
Almost everyone is dead because of me. Still, looks like I gotta see this through to the end.
In spite of how pointless this conflict had become, Weiss mustered what strength she had left, leaped off the rock she had been resting on, and then gravitated herself towards Nora's tower.
A beacon of sorts.
Something about that word brought back memories of the times when Weiss had still been a student at that long forgotten academy. Everyone had been friends, working together to defend Vale and the four kingdoms against the ever encroaching Grrm. Even with the threat of evil ever present, things were peaceful and stable, and aside from the strife between Humans and Faunus, nobody ever really fought against each other.
When Weiss defeated Nora once and for all, she would strive to return things back to the way they were, or at the very least try to curb some of the chaos and destruction.
After abut half a minute, Weiss's feet had gently graced the side of Nora's tower, and she slowly began to run down towards the surface. Even though the windows were made of glass, it was too dark to see through them.
Her chest and legs cramped with every step, and her whole body was still cold, but still she sprinted on, until she felt the air itself rush back over her. Faster and faster she went, until air around her glowed red like fire. She felt the heat wash over her, undoing the frigid cold of outer space, but her own aura, somehow recovering on its own, protected her from most of its excesses. Although she did not pause to take notice of this, her skin also began to glow with vibrant energy.
Weiss Schnee, you are the chosen one.
With Gandhi's voice cheering her on, Weiss plunged deep into Vale's overcast skies. When she emerged from the clouds, she was once again in her home city.
The skies above Vale were covered in more explosions than a Philippine fireworks display. From all across the city, Knightmares, Nod stealth tanks, Fog ships, and freelancer terrorists unleashed their payload into the skies in their vain attempts to take down Nora Valkyrie. Somewhere at the northern edge of the city, Adam's mech was trying to hobble its way through the crowds of Minions, revolutionaries, and fanatics, trying to find some place to take cover.
Every few seconds, a loud clash could be heard from one corner of the city or another, as Gaston waged his fight against Nora. Stannis Baratheon, riding atop an ancient dragon, had also entered the fight, assailing the Valkyrie girl with his critical archery skills while warding against any attacks that came close. Ruby too had reentered the fight, zipping across the skyline with her Stand and semblance. Furthermore, a large particle-laser like weapon began to emerge from Enoch's sugar factory, which Weiss recognized as Gendo Ikari's Ripple cannon. The Mario brothers, however, were nowhere to be seen.
When she was just feet from the ground, Weiss conjured a glyph below her and used it to spring back up into the air, using her redirected momentum to launch herself into Nora's predicted trajectory.
As Nora was busy fighting against Ruby, the Dovahkiin, and a superpowered Gaston, she was not expecting Weiss to return to the fight so quickly.
Although Nora attempted to swerve out of the way and conjure a spiked warhammer to block her path, Weiss whipped out her lightsaber and moved in for a spinning attack.
"I'm not done yet!"
Weiss's lightsaber cut into Nora right above her stomach, and her follow-up pommel strike with Myrtenaster sent her flying backwards for miles.
"Way to go, Weiss!" said Ruby as she zipped by, landing on top of the ruins of a nearby building.
Gaston also gave her the thumbs up, though only seconds later, a fully recovered Nora reemerged from the agricultural district and rushed at Weiss.
"No fair!"
Nora, equipped with Ea and a golden hammer, slashed Gilgamesh's ancestral sword through the air. Although Weiss moved to dodge the attack, the wave of force that emanated from the red blade thew Weiss back towards the north side of the city, towards the company tower itself. Although Weiss was mostly unharmed by the attack, she wasn't sure whether the others were so lucky, especially when she heard the cry of Lord Baratheon's dragon.
Weiss's body crashed though the glass of the company tower, and was sent tumbling through several buildings behind it.
Luckily, Weiss was able to recover quickly enough to notice a large yellow steamroller flying straight at her.
"What the fuck?"
Weiss rolled out of the way as the construction vehicle crashed into the building right next to her. Seconds later, she saw Nora floating in the air about two hundred feet away from her.
"What kind of lame attack is that?"
"Just because I don't have any time-stopping abilities doesn't mean I can't pull off any super-cool tricks!" Nora replied.
The vampire girl then teleported right next to Weiss and then swung multiple times with her hammer before thrusting with Ea, creating large gaping holes in the buildings behind them.
Following that barrage of attacks, Nora raised Ea up high and said, "This is the end for you, Weiss!"
Although Weiss was able to zip out of the way of Nora's attack, the blow from Ea created a rift that went all the way to the shores past the Forever Fall forest.
Seeing as she still needed the support of others, Weiss used a series of glyph leaps to get herself above the city skyline.
"I have the high ground now!" Weiss proclaimed.
"No, I have the high ground!" Nora retorted after making a quick teleport.
As Nora charged at her once more, Stannis Baratheon came rushing in from the side, carrying two hand-axes.
"FUS-ROH-DAH!"
The dragon shout threw Nora Valkyrie off to the side, allowing Weiss to fall back a bit and reexamine her surroundings.
Shortly after Stannis went chasing after the vampire girl, Nora came shot up from below and smashed into his crotch with her hammer, sending him soaring up past the clouds.
Oh crap.
"Now it's your turn!"
Once again, Nora came zipping after the hobo heiress, with Gaston and Ruby missing from action.
Although Weiss had managed to dodge out of the way of Nora's first attack, she didn't know how much longer she could keep this up, especially with the wounds accumulated from the first beating.
"Surrender now, Weiss, or prepare to…"
-POW!-POW!-KABOOM!-
Nora stopped in her tracks as Ruby and Gaston made potshots on her, with one of the shots dislodging the arm holding Ea.
"Fuck!"
Nora zipped down a bit to reattach the arm to her body.
"Stop interrupting our duel!"
Now with both arms securely fastened, Nora swept her all-powerful blade into the ground below, though Ruby and Gaston seemed to have ran away just in time.
As this was happening, however, a large, demon-eyed raven swept in from down below.
"Your reign of tyranny ends now, Nora Valkyrie," Swain said with a demonic tinge in his voice.
Although Nora turned to intercept her new opponent, Swain simply whooshed out of the way as three smaller ravens dove in and bit into Nora's vampire flesh. Shortly after, Swain tossed over another demonic raven at Nora, only this one had a sickly green glow.
"Ow! Stupid birds!"
Nora tried to beat the birds off her body, which remained firmly latched on in place. Weiss took this opportunity to switch her lightsaber for her Calico and emptied several rounds into her weaker joints.
"ENOUGH!" said Nora as she repelled Swain's crows off her body with her Super Saiyan might, "I'll destroy you once and for all! MUAHAHAHAHA!"
"You might want to reconsider that," said Swain as an additional pair of ravens deployed from his body.
Lasers fired from their beaks.
"What the? Why am I slowing down?" said Nora.
This was the final maneuver.
Swain stretched out one of his arms and a purplish sigil formed underneath Nora.
"Goddamn it!"
Although Nora tried to move out of the sigil's radius using her Super Saiyan speed, the ravens had slowed her down significantly. Furthermore, Weiss had taken this opportunity to follow things up with a glyph of her own.
After Swain's root took hold, Weiss's own attack had fully encased Nora in ice.
"Get back," said Swain as he began to dive for the ground.
Weiss had understood the signal, and she descended for the ground as well.
Nora Valkyrie, now held firmly in place, looked around as she tried to escape from her bindings. But even with her Super Saiyan strength and Gilgamesh powers, it had all been for naught.
"Well, it's been a good fight," Nora said, staring at the glowing hot energy radiating from Gendo's fully charged Ripple cannon.
-FSHOOOOO!-
For a brief moment, Weiss turned to watch as the solar beam burned Nora's vampire body to a crisp. Due to the beam being off by a few hundredths of a degree, Nora's head had somehow avoided being disintegrated by the beam, but the results were still the same.
They had won.
Weiss ran down the streets so she could deliver the final blow. Even though the heiress and her allies had finally defeated Nora for good, something about her victory felt hollow.
Nora's head landed in one of the streets nearby, away from any bodies she could use to recover.
Using only the muscles jutting out of her neck, Nora turned herself to face Weiss.
"Well, I guess that was that. Looks like you win."
Even though Nora had given her a beating only minutes before, Weiss couldn't help but feel pity seeing the former Queen of the Castle in her sorry state.
"Congratulations, Weiss. You really are…"
Without any warning, Weiss's older sister, Winter Schnee, dropped in from above, crushing Nora's skull under her firm heel. A golden-plated spider stood perched on her left shoulder, much like Swain's prized bird.
"NORA!" Weiss screamed.
Whether it was her sudden dynamic entry, the small metal rod she held in her hand, or the fairy wings sprouting from her back, something about her sister's presence startled Weiss.
"I'm surprised you've made it this far, sister."
With an eerily cold smile on her face, Winter slowly approached her younger sister. Even though Weiss could have sprinted away at any time, she felt some unimaginably strong force holding her in place.
After a few seconds, Ruby came running down the street, with a human Swain following after her.
"Weiss, what's…"
With a simple flick of her sonic screwdriver, Winter shot a ray of pure magic at Ruby, transforming her into a harmless donkey. The spider on her shoulder then tugged on some invisible string, which instantly cut Swain's body into hundreds of clean slices.
As Weiss watched this scene in horror, all the answers began to slowly dawn on her at once.
"You…"
"Yes, dear sister, I…"
"YOU'RE THE REASON I'M A HOBO IN THE FIRST PLACE!"
Winter at first seemed taken aback by Weiss's accusation, but then she laughed it off.
"I do suppose she's technically correct," said the spider on Winter's shoulder.
"It's been such a while since we've last met. I was actually going to say that I'm the Fairy Godmother, but I suppose that works too. Really, a brainless, A-cup dolt like you doesn't deserve the Schnee estate. I had to work for my power, while you just had everything handed to you on a silver plate."
"SHUT UP!" said Weiss.
"I'll admit, your progress has been quite admirable, dear sister, but I'm afraid the situation is quite hopeless for you."
"Why did you have to kill Nora?"
"She was no longer of any use or entertainment to me. I only used her so I could have someone convenient to shift the blame on should things get hairy, but after being bested by a mere hobo, I suppose I'll have to find another convenient scapegoat."
"YOU ASSHOLE!" cried Cinder from atop a nearby tower. "YOU TOOK SHREK AWAY FROM ME!"
"Oh look," scoffed Winter, "another poor peasant girl. Do your worst."
As Winter turned her attention towards Cinder, Weiss felt the overwhelming aura subside a bit, and she took this moment to charge at her sister with both Myrtenaster and her lightsaber.
As Cinder fired a volley of fireballs and Weiss drew close, the spider on Winter's shoulder ballooned into a giant, multi-armed golden statue-thing resembling some deity from Hindu mythology.
A great barrier of force also ballooned out from Winter's position and forced Weiss back. The grand deity Chakravartin waved one of its many arms, and Weiss was suddenly encased in a transparent sphere.
Furthermore, with another set of arms, the deity fired an array of powerful golden lasers at Cinder, one of which disintegrated the left half of her body instantly.
As Cinder fell down into the streets below, she called out to Winter. "You bitch!"
After Cinder had crashed, Winter returned her attention to Weiss, "Some people never learn."
The capsule holding Weiss then dissipated, and Weiss was lowered to the ground via the power of the Fairy Godmother's magic wand.
"I'll admit, I didn't expect Hitler's intervention, but my victory was never in doubt. I write the rules of this universe as I see fit. This world is my paradise and playground. I could intervene more if I wanted to, but there was never any hope for your victory."
"Pray to Shrek all you want, but he will never come to save you."
Bringing Weiss into her barrier, Winter leaned in close and whispered into her ear, confident that Weiss would be unable to resist, "Shrek is mine and mine alone. He would never love a stupid, stinky hobo like you."
"You might want to check on that lady."
Shrek came barreling in from down the street at supersonic speed, trailed by his flying blue police phone booth.
"Wha…"
When the Fairy Godmother turned her head, Shrek penetrated through Chakravartin's barrier and kicked her in the face, sending her tumbling down the street. Seconds later, Yang Xiao Long leaped out from the police box and stood beside Shrek.
"Yang?" said Weiss.
When Winter recovered from her blow, she looked upon Shrek in horror. "No, you're supposed to be locked up in my sex dungeon!"
"Oh really?" replied Shrek. "Then maybe you should check on your security next time."
A/N: Okay, that was that chapter. The last part might have been a bit rushed, but I hope it's alright.
I swear, Weiss has a metric fuckton of plot armor. I was even planning on killing her this chapter and somehow she survived.
I probably could have developed that last part a bit more, as I don't think I really managed to establish just how powerful the Fairy Godmother is compared to everyone else. Though, the next chapter should demonstrate some of this.
Anyway, I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter. Be sure to stay tuned for more stuff to come!
Shrek is love. Shrek is life.