After the party, the two rode hirosaki's motorcycle, kotoko told him that she wanted to go somewhere, and judging by what happened, this meant that she wanted to be somewhere private so she could stop pretending to look fine in front of everyone, when they have finally arrived, it was already so late that it was now 1AM. Ignoring the time, kotoko then lead hirosaki to that same spot where she had one of the best moments with naoki.
It was by a bridge that overlooked the city. This was where naoki took her and they ate burgers together.
Kotoko slowly walked to the same spot as her eyes overlooked the beautiful view
"It's so empty here" hirosaki stated the obvious, he watched as kotoko blankly stared into space.
She finally spoke
"I thought i had a chance"
"This whole time, i did everything to change, i even pretended to be your girlfriend, i thought maybe, just maybe... he'll care, i told myself, if i saw something just the slightest bit... i'd keep trying" her voice shook
"Kotoko... i'm sorry"
A tear fell, she was holding her tears trying to stay strong for the one person that has helped her through out everything
" why are you apologizing, it's not your fault"
"I tried to help you be a better version of yourself, thinking that naoki would come to his senses, i even went far as to pretend that you were my girlfriend, so that he can finally man up and snatch you away, but above all... i was the one who kept pushing you... but look at you now, still hurting as always"
He had a disappointed look on his face, he didnt think naoki was that big of a coward. As much as he knew naoki felt something for kotoko, he wanted him to at least fight for her. Choose her over everyone. But clearly that was not the case.
"What naoki feels and chooses is not your fault hirosaki-kun, if anything... you saved me "
He stood silent
"I didn't mean to hurt you"
"I said it's not your fault" now she started to cry, "its me! Its because im an idiot"
"Yeah. You have terrible taste in men" hirosaki clarified
"What's wrong with me" she covered her face with her hands, ashamed
She started to sob uncontrollably,
Hirosaki naturally held her in his arms
He stroked her hair gently
Trying to calm her down
"Shhhh now that's enough"
She still continued to cry, she was crying so hard her hands were shaking, she placed her right hand on her chest and gripped the dress
"It hurts"
"I know"
"Right here, it hurts a lot"
"Hush now, its okay. I'm right here"
"If you keep crying and someone passes by, they will think that i made such a pretty girl cry"
Kotoko chuckled a little , in between her sobs
"They'll call the police on you thinking you harassed me" she said in between the sobs
"Right?"
Kotoko's sobs finally calmed down a bit.
" i want to go back to osaka,after the wedding, let's go back. come with me. Lets go back to where hanako-chan and ryuu-chan is"
"Are you sure you want to stay? We don't have to you know "
"Yeah, i think i get how the story ends now... but before we go, we still have to complete our mission, also this time I'm not running away"
"You're still going to help him? Even after everything? What do you mean your not running away? Theyv'e already shattered you into pieces, look at you"
Fully aware with the state she is in right now. She was broken
Just like how he found her before.
It's amazing how a kiss can shatter the strong confident girl he held in his arms
"I won't be able to move on unless i do this, no matter what i do, i love him... maybe if i finish this once and for all, i'll finally be able to move forward. I don't want to just run just like that, i have to face the reality, and do what i can to move onwards"
Hirosaki couldn't help but admire how much she loved that coward. But what she said made sense, and he made a promise to her, that he would help her no matter what.
He looked at her, as if she was a new and different person.
She wasn't the same broken girl that saved his life. Now at that moment, she was shining in a different light. He didn't feel sorry for her, or felt bad, even though she was crying and hurting, she stood strong, her words were firm, and she looked determined to fulfill the promise she made to herself. He couldn't help but feel proud with the change despite her broken heart. He wanted to keep her beside him, promising himself that he will do whatever it takes to protect her no matter what.
"Roger that " he motioned a salute as he smiled widely.
hirosaki pulled out a handkerchief out his pocket and wiped her face clean, her mascara was running down her face and he hated seeing her looking like this. "now"
"Stop crying okay? I don't like seeing you like that, you get really ugly when you're sad" he joked
Kotoko had a small grin on
"Hirosaki-kun?"
"Hmm?" he continued to wipe her face in a gentle manner.
"Thank you"
He paused
"For everything, for always being there for me whenever i need someone, and for always wiping my tears"
"How about for treating you to good food?"
She giggled "that too"
"Now, if you're really grateful, say 'thank you so much oh handsome and kind master'"
Kotoko rolled her eyes , she then had a big smile on
"There it is, that beautiful smile! Now, enough with the crying, let's go home and eat some ice-cream, i think the next episode to good morning call is finally available, i know you're dying to see the next episode"
"Really?"
"Yeah, let's go watch your ridiculous dramas with ice cream on the side"
They both headed to ride hirosaki's motorcycle to go home, kotoko held unto him as she always did, but this time.. on the ride home, she held him tighter, and leaned her head on his back. Thankful she had someone she could lean on... maybe with hirosaki beside her, she can finally forget about him, maybe as time goes by, she will finally find happiness through him. Maybe as time goes by, she can finally be strong and move on towards a new happy life, she didn't need any shooting stars anymore, she had him, and that's all that mattered right now.
(AN: okay, i know i wrote 'and they made love' or something in the previous chapter, but you guys know that it meant that they slept with each other, yes sexually. LOL i just thought that sounded better, since i don't write those types of scenes, i didn't know how to put it in a way that would sound decent. as far as naoki-kun is concerned , clearly it didn't mean anything. let me explain why...)
the next day finally arrived.
naoki awoke to the birds chipping. the room was dark since the curtains were closed. his head pounded with a migraine so terrible it took him a while to process his current state. when he finally got a grip of himself, his eyes scanned the room.
clothes everywhere. wait. why am i not wearing any clothes? what the hell happened last night?
his memory was foggy, finally his mind replayed what happened during the party. kotoko and hirosaki, his little meltdown outside
and all the drinks and shots he took in. the last thing he remembered was when he broke that glass of whisky. but it didn't take him long to see a bare back turned beside him.
it was sahoko alright, naoki felt his heart drop and his stomach swell up. no
the world stood still. he could hear the thumping of his heart, it felt as if it would jump out any second
no no no
that did not just happen last night
what have i done.
sahoko was not wearing any clothes as well. naoki's head was spinning in circles, panicking as he realized what happened last night.
his hands ran through his hair, trying to deny everything , lying to himself
why did i do that
now i really did it, how can i... what was i thinking, what was she thinking?
he could feel something coming up his throat, he rushed towards the bathroom inside their private bedroom, he ran just in time to kneel in front of the toilet to puke everything he had for dinner during the party. his head throbbed in pain, his heart rate increasing speed.
he wanted to scream , but he could barely stop himself from puking uncontrollably.
when he was finally done , he closed the door shut and dragged himself in the shower. he just stood there as the water ran through his trembling body.
he stood there in disbelief, disgusted with himself. he was so angry his fists turned white. he felt like he was about to lose it and go insane.
your a terrible person. a voice inside crept in his mind
how could you do that naoki? how can you hurt so many people
first, your family, then kotoko, who's next? your going to hurt sahoko too? what are you going to tell her? that it didn't mean anything
how cruel.
'no' he answered in his mind
' i didn't mean to, i didn't know, i wasn't aware of what i was doing, it was a mistake' he tried to justify his mistakes
it's already done naoki, it's too late to go back now he voice laughed and you were thinking of claiming kotoko back after the company got better.
what
a
joke
naoki wanted to scream his head off, but now that he was sober with a terrible hang over. he was fully aware of his situation and did not want to wake sahoko up.
he didn't want to look at her. he did not want to see her, or hear her voice.
he felt so much guilt , it was as if he signed a contract with the devil to legitimately force himself to love her. what he did was unforgivable, this only made things worse knowing that sahoko felt deeply infatuated with naoki, he was aware of that.
what he did only triggered her even more, giving her false hope. he felt as if he betrayed the love of his life, despite kotoko not being his, he felt disgusted with himself, and thought she doesn't deserve a scum like me
i don't deserve to even fight for her, no matter how much i love her, i still won't be able to take her back now , no, not anymore.
he stayed in that shower for God knows how long
it seemed like forever to him, but he stayed in there , begging the Gods, Buddha , Allah, the monks... anyone, begging the world for forgiveness. it was unbearable to think that he would to such a thing to a person he did not even love, how he didn't even have the courage to fight for the one he did
and how much pain he's caused everyone, including himself.
he helplessly cried there, the sounds of the shower blocking the sound of his sobs
someone save me
AN:
you were warned. i put the fanfic's category on 'tragedy' just to make sure everyone was aware that this is gonna be one hell of a ride to torture-ville
naokixkotoko fans are probably going to hunt me down and assassinate me for these chapters
but hey, it's reality. when a man is desperate and emotionally unstable , on top of that, intoxicated to a point of confusion, this sh*t happens , especially if a beautiful woman takes initiative to seduce him into temptation. i hope the harsh reality doesn't scare the naive minds. i do assure you that things happen to a very very good reason. and all is relevant to the final verdict. so please hate me instead, not the story lol ,he needs to suffer, just like how kotoko did. in order for him to change. you feel me?
i hope that wasn't as brutal as i thought it was LOL , i'll update soon! i promise! and as always, leave your reviews below! loving all the feedback i can possibly get, hate or love the chapters, even just reactions hype me up in general ! hope everyone's having a great week so far