Wow, another update within a week of my update of Fate's Choice! I can't even tell you how happy that makes me. I've missed writing so much! It looks like I'll be getting back into my rhythm in no time. WOOO! Anyway, here you go - the next chapter for DLS.

Big shoutout to LittlePrincessNana for looking over my new chapters and encouraging me to post. I love you Triplet!

Also to those of you worrying about Shattered not being updated yet, please don't. I can promise you I haven't forgotten it! That one is next on my list!

Hiro Mashima owns Fairy Tail.

CHAPTER 36: BUILDING BRIDGES

The conversation had scarcely ended inside when the door to Lucy's house opened and Gajeel stomped out. His face shrouded by the dark of the night, there was no way to tell what he was thinking, but it took no genius to see he was annoyed. His feet hit the ground hard, his pace quick as if he couldn't wait to get out of there. To each of his sides, his hands clenched, balling into tightly held fists, making him look for all the world like the last person on Earthland anyone might want to bother. But I wasn't just anyone, and what I had to say just wouldn't wait.

I pushed away from the wall I'd been leaning on and watched with a flash of petty satisfaction when he jumped. He hadn't known I was there. Even with all his enhanced senses, I'd avoided his detection. And that felt good, damn good.

Moving into both his field of vision and his route for home, I scowled. I'd heard everything he said to Lucy, all those awful accusations. And his last jab...it was nothing short of revolting. What kind of man said those things to a woman he'd spent so much time with?

"You're a real bastard, you know that?"

His face instantly clouded over with annoyance as understanding dawned. "I'm not in the mood for your shit right now."

"Like I give a shit."

"You might wanna start giving a shit right about now because if you don't get the fuck outta my way, I'm gonna beat the fucking ice outta your creeper ass."

I shouldn't have been surprised by him bringing up my bout with spying. Considering that I'd just now overheard the conversation he'd had with Lucy, I guess I was beginning to earn a reputation. This time though, it wasn't my fault. I'd only been coming over here to try again to work things out with my team mate. I couldn't stand the thought of this thing between the two of going on any longer. I needed her forgiveness like I needed air, and once I'd heard that she had made it back, I'd headed straight over.

Gajeel had simply gotten there first, and I'd been unfortunate enough, or fortunate depending on how you looked at it, to catch the tail end of their fight.

It hadn't taken very long to understand what was going on. Lucy wanted more; he didn't. From everything she'd said, it sounded like that more she wanted had already been happening, but Gajeel hadn't liked that one bit. The jackass had nearly had a meltdown about the whole thing, and only a handful of minutes later, it was all over. Now, Lucy was in there crying her damn eyes out, and I was ready to rip Gajeel's spine out through his ass.

It was clear Lucy cared a lot about the big jerk, and she'd offered her heart to him on a silver fucking platter only to have him throw it back in her face like it wasn't worth the trash at his feet.

It fucking pissed me off.

"Good luck with that asshole, cause I'm not going anywhere...and neither are you until you tell me why the hell you just treated her like that."

"It's none of your damn business, so fuck off!"

Growling, he tried to sidestep me, but before he could take a single step, I had my hand on his chest, giving him a push back. "I'm making it my fucking business! Where the hell do you get off talking to Lucy like that? Making her cry?"

"Hey, she knew the fucking score! She was trying to trick me!"

"Are you really that fucking stupid?" I sneered, then shook my head as I realized he just didn't get it. If he knew Lucy even a little bit, he'd know she wasn't capable of that level of deceit. "You know what? It doesn't even matter. She deserves a hell of a lot better than you, and now that you're out of the picture, maybe she can finally find it."

All at once, Gajeel bowed up, his eyes flashing crimson as he shoved at my chest. "And just who the fuck does she deserve? You?"

"Hell no. She deserves a shit load better than either of us."

It was the truth, but that didn't make it any easier to say. I'd hurt Lucy, broken both her trust and her heart with what I'd done. I wasn't an idiot. I knew all of that couldn't be forgotten enough to win me her heart. But that didn't mean I didn't want it.

I looked at the man across from me and felt bitterness creep in. Here he was with the sun and moon in his hands, and the sorry bastard didn't even know it. Everything any sane man could ever want waited for Gajeel inside that house, and the sorry bastard didn't even want it.

He didn't care that he had Lucy's heart. He had it and didn't want it, and me...I wanted it and would never have it. I didn't know which one of us was more pathetic.

"Whatever," he finally grumbled, pushing past me to head home, his face etched in a scowl. "Like I give a damn."

Instantly, my anger flared. How could he be so flippant about her? He acted like she was a fucking toy to be tossed aside when he got bored. "If I thought for even a single minute that she'd have me, I'd walk in there and ask her out."

I watched as Gajeel pulled to a stop, his back going rigid beneath his shirt. He stayed that way for a fraction of a moment, the muscles bunching angrily around his shoulders, and then he spun back toward me. It all happened so fast, but I had just enough time to catch a glimpse of his face. And I found myself wondering if I'd read him all wrong.

Cause there was a hell of a lot of care in that expression. He might say he didn't give a damn what Lucy did, or who for that matter, but it sure as hell looked like he gave a damn. A very large, very violent damn.

"What?"

That one word was uttered so softly, I nearly missed it, and yet, I couldn't miss the murderous quality that accompanied the sound. And while it probably wasn't the smartest idea, I knew I had to test the theory. I had to know if he cared about her too.

"I bet I could make her happy."

A deadly growl shot from his throat, and before I knew what was happening, Gajeel had me up against the wall. "You don't have what it takes to make her happy!" he snarled.

It didn't even matter that I agreed with him. Hell, I'd heard the way she talked to him. I knew I didn't have a chance in hell of being what she needed, not if she cared about him as much as I suspected she did. But that didn't stop his words from pissing me off again.

I wanted to be that man for her. I wanted to be the one she invited over, the one that got to wake up beside her. Gajeel didn't even fucking understand what he'd had in the beautiful blonde woman he'd just rejected.

Almost immediately, my interest in how he felt dissolved, and I fought back, grabbing for his hands and ripping them from my shirt. "Clearly neither do you, you self-centered ass! All you seem capable of doing is making her cry!"

"That's fucking rich coming from you, peeper! Cause I sure as fuck remember her crying her eyes out over what you did!"

There wasn't much I could say about that. I knew it was true. I'd seen the result of my mistake myself, but that wasn't me. I'd never done anything like that before, and I'd come to realize that if it had been anyone else, I wouldn't have done it all. It had taken that incident for me to see that I wanted more from Lucy than friendship. I'd been attracted to her all this time, something that I'd apparently been resisting until that very moment. And after seeing her like that, I hadn't been able to push it aside anymore. I couldn't pretend.

He was right. I had messed up, but that one mistake on my part was nothing compared to what he was doing. I hadn't done what I'd done out of spite or a desire to hurt anyone. I'd simply let myself get carried away. I was weak and stupid. And because of that, I wasn't going to let this dipshit compare the two of us.

The difference between us was that I truly cared about Lucy. She was both my friend and the woman I wanted to be with. There wasn't a woman alive that meant more to me, and from where I was standing, it appeared Gajeel only thought of her as a possession. She wasn't a person, a woman to be appreciated and cherished; she was simply a tool to get what he wanted. And now that she wanted more, Gajeel didn't want her.

Then again, he didn't want anyone else to have her either.

"You're right," I acknowledged, nodding my head and accepting the bitterness that accompanied it. "I did hurt her, and I will regret that for the rest of my life. But you did something I would never do to Lucy. You made her feel like she was only worth what's between her legs."

Gajeel smacked both hands onto my chest, knocking me back a few steps. "You think you know so much, but you don't know shit about it! She wanted it that way! It was all her fucking idea!" he snapped, "She said that's what she wanted out of me, but the whole time, it was all a fucking game!"

I wanted to haul off and knock him on his ass. I could do it. I knew I could, but it wasn't even worth it. He wasn't worth it, not if he actually believed all that horseshit. The only thing that mattered anymore was getting things straight with Lucy. With a shake of my head, I turned around and headed for her door. "You're a fucking tool."

"How am I the fucking tool?" he fired back, his voice only barely less than a shout. "She's the one that lied!"

Shooting one last look over my shoulder, I rolled my eyes. "No, she didn't, you dumb bastard. She just had the supremely bad judgement of falling for your stupid ass."

It's over.

It's really over.

The phrase repeated itself in my head over and over again, and still, I couldn't quite believe it was true. It was all done. Gajeel was really gone, and I didn't think he was ever coming back. I'd crossed a line with him, the very same line I'd crossed with myself. I'd let my heart slip away, and I was suddenly afraid that too was something I'd never get back.

Sitting there, I tried to remind myself that I'd be okay, that I'd find a way past it all. But they were all just words. Nothing could touch the gaping wound inside my heart. Nothing could convince me that I would come back from this.

I was too far gone. I'd dropped my walls and pulled Gajeel inside and now I couldn't get him out. He'd gained a permanent place within my soul.

A sob billowed up my throat, and I let it. There was no longer any reason to hide what I felt. After all, who was here to see me fall apart?

The pain was more than I could have imagined, more than I had been prepared for. I knew telling him of my feelings was risky. I knew he might not take it well, but I'd gambled on the fact that we'd basically been together this whole time anyway. I thought he'd see it the same way, but I was wrong. God, I was so wrong.

The way he'd looked at me...

He'd been so appalled, confounded. He'd looked at me as if I'd lost my mind, as if the possibility of him dating me was the most ludicrous idea I'd ever had. And maybe it was. I should have listened to him. I should have kept my heart safe. If I had, I wouldn't be sitting here feeling as if someone had ripped a hole through the center of my chest.

Throat tight, I curled into the side of the couch and wrapped my arms around my body. It felt like I was falling apart, like everything inside me was shattering to pieces, and I was trying desperately to keep them all together. But there were too many pieces. My heart was in fragments, tiny jagged bits that cut into me with every sob that wracked my being.

Distantly, I could hear a commotion outside, voice raised like someone was having an argument, but just then, I couldn't find it in myself to care. Their issues seemed so far away in comparison to the bomb that had just exploded in my face. It was easy to ignore everything when it felt like my life had just taken a plunge off a giant cliff.

I knew I needed to pull myself together. I was a mage, and it was my job to protect people, to use my abilities and magic to keep this town safe. I should have been out there checking the situation, making sure nothing was amiss, and yet, I couldn't seem to find the strength. For the first time in a long while, I felt useless, broken. Everything was wrong. The man I loved wanted nothing to do with me, I was estranged from one of my closest friends, and I'd lost my friendship with one of my precious Zodiac.

Light burst into the room just then, and suddenly Loke was there, his pale face tinged with an odd mix of understanding and sadness. "That's not true, Princess. There is no force in this world or the next that could ever take that from you."

He stood there, uncertainty clouding his features, and I knew he was debating what to do. So much had happened between us recently, and neither of us seemed to know how to bridge the gap that had developed there.

Right now though, I needed my trusty Lion. I needed his strength, his loyalty. I needed my friend. Everything else could wait.

With a sob, I reached out a hand, and I watched his eyes mist over as he leapt forward. Hand in mine, he pulled me to my feet and gathered me up in his arms. A muffled cry sounded just beside my ear as he folded me in tightly against him.

"I'm sorry, Lucy. Gods, I'm so sorry."

The words to respond wouldn't come. There was only tears. But it didn't matter. I didn't know what to say anyway. He'd hurt me deeply with his actions. I'd forgive him. We both knew that, but it didn't change the fact that it had happened. Still, his remorse was real, and if I knew one thing about Loke, it was that he would never harm me on purpose. Though he teased and flirted casually, I knew my Lion Spirit loved me. Maybe not like he played around that he did, but he did.

And I needed that unconditional love just now. We'd deal with everything else later.

Saying nothing, I pressed my face into his chest and let the tears fall. There was safety there in his embrace, a warmth I desperately needed. It swept over me like a blanket, and I cried as I felt the last of my anger and hurt over his betrayal dissipate.

If only it could do the same for the pain of losing Gajeel.

"I messed up," I croaked, clutching at his suit as another wave of agony hit me. "I messed up so bad."

His hold tightening, Loke murmured, "You didn't mess anything up, Princess."

I sobbed and shook my head against him. "Yes, I did. I messed everything up!"

"You didn't." Gently, he pressed a finger under my chin and lifted my head. "Please believe that."

My lip trembled as I looked up at him, and I whispered, "I wasn't supposed to fall for him."

It felt like a dirty secret slipping across my lips, like I should be ashamed. Gajeel had done that. He'd made me feel like love was a bad thing, a betrayal of sorts, and I was no longer sure what to think, how to act.

"I know," Loke hummed, brushing a hand over my hair, "But that's not your fault. Love doesn't play by the rules."

And wasn't that the truth? Because if it did, Gajeel would love me just because I loved him, and he didn't.

God, that hurt.

"It's why you can forgive me so easily. You love me." He shook his head when I opened my mouth to respond and then smiled sadly. "I don't mean like that. You love me as a friend. You've only ever loved me that way. I know that. It's a different kind of love, but it works in a similar fashion. Your love is unconditional, eternal; because of that, my mistake - the despicable, unforgivable way I hurt you - can be forgiven. I don't deserve it, but love doesn't play fair."

He was right. More times in the past than I could count, I had forgiven people for things that, under most circumstances, should have been unforgivable. My father would have sold me to a wealthy business man to further his own empire, for money, and yet, I'd forgiven him. It defied all understanding, until you added in how much I'd loved the man, how much I'd yearned for his affection.

Slowly, I nodded my head. But the knowledge of that did nothing to stem the pain that speared through my chest at the thought of Gajeel. Tucking myself back into his chest, I felt my eyes well up again. "He doesn't love me."

Loke sighed, pressing a kiss to my forehead, but before he could say anything, another voice cut in, the timber deep and rich and as familiar to me as my own. "Then he's a damn fool."

I raised my head as Gray stepped into the room.

He stared at me, emotion crowding his face and a question in his eyes. "Lucy..."

I knew what he wanted. It was a request for admittance, a plea for forgiveness. There was an anguish there I hadn't seen before, and I found myself unable to ignore it. How could I stay mad at him knowing it would devastate him a second time?

Pushing away from Loke, I took the steps necessary to meet Gray, and all the while, he watched anxiously, not moving a single muscle as if he wasn't quite sure of my intention. But the moment I slipped my arms around him, the rigid set of his back collapsed and he gave a startled sob. His embrace was immediate and tight enough to stall my breathing for a moment. But as quick as it came, it went, leaving me sighing in relief at having my friend back.

"Forgive me Lucy...please..." His words came out muffled with his head pressed against mine so close, but there was no mistaking his purpose. And it broke my heart to hear him beg so pitifully.

"Always," I whispered, even as the tears poured down my cheeks.

He choked around his response, "I'm so sorry."

I nodded my head, unable to force my voice to acknowledge my acceptance. I knew he was sorry. Gray was too kind to be cruel, too gentle to be mean. He'd messed up. Just like Loke. Just like me. We'd all went about things blindly and destroyed the things we cherished most. In that, I was no better than them. And now, I would have to live with the consequences.

The prospect was bleak to say the least. My life, once consumed by hope and excited, now lay before me like an endless path of misery. And I would have to tread that lonely road with the knowledge that I could have prevented it had I never opened the door to Gajeel. Had I simply been content to live my life on my own. Had I not been consumed with the carnal desires of my body.

My selfishness had brought this down on me. I believed I could have sex with Gajeel and not be plagued by emotional connections. I thought I had it all figured out.

I was wrong. So very wrong.

Suddenly weary, I sagged against Gray. My energy was gone, stolen away along with my heart, and all I really wanted to do was sleep. Maybe for a while, I could forget I'd lost Gajeel. Maybe I would dream of him changing his mind and rushing back to confess his love.

Even as I thought it, I knew it would never happen. Gajeel didn't do feelings. Or love. Or me.

We were done, and he wasn't coming back. I had to stop making up these foolish fantasies. If I was to ever find a way past this, I had to be realistic. I had to be straight with myself - no evasions, no deceptions. Even if it killed me.

"You're exhausted," Gray said, concern coloring his voice as he reached down and swept my legs out from under me. "You need to rest."

"I can walk," I protested, though truthfully, at the moment, I didn't feel much like breathing, let alone walking.

Loke stepped over and gave me a soft smile. "We know you can, but just for today, how about you let us help?"

Gray waited for my agreement, looking down at me with nothing but understanding and maybe a little hope, and I couldn't say no. The two of them had screwed up, but they were both trying so hard to make it up to me. "Alright."

He grinned shortly. "Alright then, let's get you settled for the night."

"You aren't leaving, are you?"

The question was out of mouth before I even considered how it might sound. Desperate. That's what it sounded like. Desperate and lonely. I was pathetic.

But Gray just shook his head. "I'll stay as long as you want me to."

His quick response had my throat growing thick with the need to cry. He'd taken no time to think it over, but more than that, he wasn't looking down on me for my fear of being alone. Before I knew it, I was crying again, great heaving sobs wracking my body, and then he was sliding in next to me and pulling snug against his side.

"It's going to be okay, Lucy."

The bed shifted again, and I felt Loke ease in behind me, his body tucking in close as his arm stole across my midsection. "We've got you."

It took all of ten minutes for Lucy to fall asleep, nine of which were spent in tears, and it broke my heart. When this whole thing with Gajeel had begun, I'd have never imagined Lucy would get so deeply involved. She'd seemed so sure it was all just a game, just fun. And I got it. I'd had my fair share of meaningless sex. I mean, I'd been around for countless lifetimes already.

Still, the idea of her loving that jackass disturbed me. Sure, some of that was jealousy. If given a chance, I'd happily pledge my heart to her for all eternity. But more than that, I hated that she loved a man that so clearly took her for granted. Lucy was special - brash and more than a little dirty-minded when she wanted to be, but the woman's heart was pure gold.

She was easily the kindest being I'd ever known, and any man would be lucky to have her. And here was Gajeel with the whole world in his hands, and he didn't even appreciate it. What a waste.

Looking across Lucy's still form to the ice mage at her side, I could see the same thoughts rolling around in his mind, the same frustration. The man clearly felt something for her too.

Suddenly struck by the irony of it all, I laughed. All of us interested in the same damn woman.

My abrupt laugh brought Gray's head up, his eyes blinking at me curiously. "What's so funny?"

"Us," I answered ruefully, reaching a finger out to brush over Lucy's cheek. "Here we are, hovering over her, caring for her...caring about her."

Gray thought about it for a moment, then nodded. "I thought about that myself. She got us all, didn't she?" His lips curled just the slightest bit as he glanced down at the blonde between us and shook his head. "I didn't even realize I had those kind of feelings for her."

A snort shot from my mouth. "I've always had feelings for her. She's just too stubborn to see that we're soul mates."

"Yeah," Gray laughed. "Whatever you say." He was silent for several seconds, his expression growing pensive. "Why do you think she loves him?"

"You mean because he's such a fucking douche?"

My dark-haired friend sighed, studying Lucy's delicate features for a time before meeting my eyes. "I mean...I know he's not necessarily a bad guy, but just...why him?"

"Your guess is as good as mine. I don't know what the hell she sees in his dumb ass," I complained quietly. "She deserves a hell of a lot better. Hell, I could list at least 20 guys that would be better for her than him right now. Of course, they're not me, but still...better than that shithead." Inhaling sharply, I leaned back against the wall behind me. "You know what really pisses me off though? That bastard doesn't even care about her. She's crying her eyes out over him, and he couldn't give a shit."

Gray pursed his lips. "I...I'm not sure that's true."

"What do you mean?"

"When we were outside arguing, I told him I'd date Lucy if she'd have me, and he damn near lost his mind."

My eyes widened at the surprising information. "Really? Then why would he push her away like that?" It made no sense. Jealousy was usually reserved for people a person felt a real attachment to. So why would he...

Suddenly, it hit me. Could he be running because he was afraid of her? Or what he felt for her?

I sat up instantly. "He does care about her..."

Gray nodded. "Yeah, that was my thought too."

"...and it scares the piss out of him."

The ice mage agreed, "Not really the way I would have put it, but yeah."

I thought about it for a minute. "What a fucking pansy." My abrupt declaration had Gray laughing, but I was serious. "Seriously, what kind of man is afraid of dating? Of love?"

"Well, to be fair, it is pretty scary feeling this way about someone," Gray argued, his expression solemn before his lips quirked at the corners. "Then again, that could just be Lucy's influence talking."

I sent him an answering grin and said, "She really is too damn nice."

"And understanding," he added.

"And forgiving."

"And sweet."

"And gorgeous," I whispered, checking to make sure she wasn't overhearing me.

Gray smiled again, eyeing the woman asleep between us. "Yeah, she is that...and a hell of a lot more." Once again, the atmosphere changed, the light jovial conversation making way for something more staid. "I hate seeing her cry," he said, his voice going soft as he looked back up. "How can he do this to her?"

"I don't know. It kills me."

For me, there was nothing worse than Lucy in tears. The woman was always smiling and laughing. Her heart was light, free. She was meant for happiness, and to see her anything but happy was too much for me.

"What are we gonna do?"

I shook my head. "I don't know that there's anything we can do. She loves him. It makes me sick, and I want to beat the guy's face in for what he's doing to her. But we can't save her from this."

It hurt to say. I'd sworn the day she saved my life that I would be there for her through everything, that I'd be there to save her no matter what, and I was breaking that promise. I was letting her down, and I hated that. And it wasn't just about my vow. I loved Lucy with all of my heart, and if she had to be in love with someone else, I wanted it to be with someone I knew would protect her and care for her the way I would. It bothered me to know that not only was that not going to happen, but that I could do nothing for her when the man she'd chosen to love hurt her the way he had.

It was going to be difficult to watch her go through this, but no matter what I was going to be here for her.

And when that asshole decided to come back, I'd be waiting...and I was going take a piece of his worthless ass with me.