He had welcomed Izumi Koushiro in that room many times after the boy's death. His other selves woke up on that chair across from his; the table between them was covered by a white sheet and had two cups of their favorite tea on it. None of those other Koushiros drank from that tea, which was probably for the best. He couldn't reproduce its taste anyway, as most of his sensory memories had vanished long ago.

But before him that day was someone else.

The visitor woke up, but couldn't emit any sound; lifted their head, but couldn't move the rest of their body.

The empty dark room had only one light, which came directly from above the table. He couldn't tell whether the place was cold or hot. The fact that the other was sweating and shaking at the same time didn't provide satisfactory clues.

"I'll bring you back to normal soon." He promised. "I have little time and much to tell, but I know that the main question in your mind might distract you, so I'll just address it right away: I look like the chosen child you known as Izumi Koushiro because I am him. I'm a version from a different universe, but still him."

Not long ago, acknowledging such truth would've been maddening. But he couldn't keep running from it after the confrontation with his other self.

"I've been given several names." He continued. "Before developing my programming, Wisemon studied similar entities from universes he had visited and named me 'Homeostasis,' after one of them. His plan was to surpass the power of those entities and create something unstoppable. In the Digital World you've known, I'm mostly referred to as 'Fate' and 'Spirit of the World.' But none of that is really important regarding what I'm about to address."

The other blinked, seemingly confused. The space around them briefly warped and the light above flickered. It wouldn't take too long; he had to hurry.

"Pay attention now. I will tell you a story."

Chapter 36: Hikari's fate

There are people who leave a mark on you, people you can never forget. It's not something you wished for, things would be better if you could simply let them go. But they remain long after you can't see each other again, when they shouldn't be more than a blur in your mind. They can't be shaken off, they can't be forgotten… they're so deeply rooted in your heart that they become a part of you. You depend on them to live, even if you no longer have a heart that beats, or lungs that take in air, or blood or a body. Your existence is tied to that someone until the end of you.

That someone to me was a little girl in a flower shop, wearing a white dress, bearing a melancholic smile.

"Who are your flowers for?" She asked me that time.

"I'll take them to where my parents are sleeping." I replied.

She paled and gave me a serious look. Then, she held my hands, that were holding the bouquet, looked into my eyes and smiled. It wasn't sad or happy, but there was tenderness to it… a gentle, caring smile. That girl told me:

"They'll be happy to see you. And happier if you don't go there alone."

I've met Yagami Hikari in every universe I've been. She hasn't met me in most of them, though. Hikari-san didn't need that kind of trouble. I wasn't supposed to meet her in this universe, but it couldn't be avoided.

There's a great amount of information about her from other universes I haven't visited, thanks to Wisemon's research. In all those realities, Hikari had shown immense empathy. Her capability of understanding other people's feelings to the point where it seemed she could read thoughts led some to wonder if she had supernatural powers. That wasn't the case at all, at least not in the human world. But in a subjective place like the Digital World, her latent power couldn't be measured.

Maybe it was because of that power that so many versions of Homeostasis that preceded me tried to control Hikari. They possessed her, tried to make her believe that the power she wielded didn't come from her, that she was a tool for greater forces. Her crest was called "light" not in honor of her name, but meaning a foreign holiness to which she was merely a vessel.

I knew she was so much more than that since before I became like this. Hikari-san was a mystery that I couldn't unveil, but that didn't bother me at all. What I had for her were deep fascination and admiration. When she looked into my eyes, it was as if she could see my whole soul. All the pain I had locked in my heart since my parents had died seemed to be perfectly visible to her, despite nobody else seeing it. Hikari-san would gaze deeply into my eyes, without blinking, showing me a sorrowful expression. Then, she would tell me something enigmatic but comforting and smile.

She liked to ask questions for which I didn't know the answers. Questions that threw me off, like how I felt about snow, what was I scared of, what would make me happy… she said she liked to talk to me and wanted to get to know me. I never understood that, but I enjoyed her company. There wasn't a Homeostasis in my original universe, so Hikari-san was never used or possessed. But the crest she had been given greatly restricted her powers anyway.

You know, after I was turned into… this… back when I clung to my identity as Izumi Koushiro, I thought I could make use of my situation. I thought I could help my friends to become stronger in different timelines. I had ideas to assist them in achieving their greatest potential, but there was something holding most of them back… all the time, Taichi-san and Yamato-san got ahead of everybody else. In worlds where Hikari-san should be free of her shackles, she still didn't live up to what she could be.

It took me billions of years to understand why that happened. In spite of thinking that I had stopped believing I was Izumi Koushiro, I still felt like him. That group I had known in my time alive, led by Taichi-san… in which Yamato-san butted heads with him, Sora-san was a conciliator, I was the strategist and Hikari-san was… what was she? What was she outside of what she meant for Taichi-san? She was formidable, wise, brave, decent, kind… but who she was wasn't quite visible to us… those two, Taichi-san and Yamato-san, caught most of our attention.

I hadn't realized how much I loved being part of that group. Because I loved it, I didn't want to see that it was that group's dynamic that held her back. For so long I ran from the obvious conclusion that, for as long as Taichi-san and Yamato-san were around, the others, especially Hikari-san, wouldn't achieve greatness. Those were more than 300 universes of denial.

I did everything I could in this universe to set her free, to make her ascension not only possible but inevitable. I forged her myth deep into this world and broke all barriers that could trap her power. Hikari-san's emotions run deep and strong, they're capable of tearing the fabric of space and time apart, like they should. Her heart is grand like no other.

Because of that heart, she couldn't stand to see others hurt or to let anyone down. She always did as she was asked, acting like the sweet and loving daughter and sister everybody knew. Because she had a hard time saying 'no' to people and went along with whatever she thought would make others happy, she didn't tell Taichi-san that day when he wanted to play outside that she still felt sick.

That had happened hundreds of times. The first time I knew of it, I was searching with Taichi-san for a medicine while Sora-san and my brother took care of Hikari-san. Taichi-san broke down in front of me and told me about the time his sister almost died. He told me about the guilt he felt for not realizing sooner that she wasn't well and about how she always thought of others first and hid her pain. I hadn't realized in that time that he didn't criticize Hikari-san for being that way or that he didn't expect her to change. Now, as I recall that, I can notice the veiled admiration in his voice. I believe Taichi-san thought of those traits as noble things, as proof that his sister was a good person.

When he told me that, I remember feeling really bad for Taichi-san. I saw it all as something that had happened to him and hurt him only. That in spite of Hikari-san being the one who was sick, of her being the one whose life was at stake, in spite of her being very dear to me. Once I saw Taichi-san in distress, I forgot about her, myself and everything that didn't have to do with him. He has that kind of effect on people. He captures us in his warmth and envelops us to the point where we lose ourselves in his presence, which obfuscates all else. It's no surprise that Hikari-san does so much for him or that I thought so highly of him.

But when he took her out to play and she had to go to the hospital in this universe, it wasn't like the other times. Hikari-san wasn't getting better. She was dying.

Taichi-san completely vanished from my thoughts. I no longer cared about his sadness and guilt. I didn't see his tears nor did I pay attention to the harsh words his parents told him in the hospital's corridor. A sense of urgency took hold of me. I stopped observing things from afar and entered the human world. I called Hikari-san, cried her name out, but got no answer. That couldn't be happening, it couldn't! She couldn't just die like that, pointlessly, in a world made for her to shine! It was when I heard her voice calling me.

"Koushiro-san."

I wasn't hovering close to her hospital bed any longer, but inside a well-lit flower shop. The four year old girl wearing a pink dress was sitting on a bench close to the glass door, seemingly admiring a shelf filled with vases of white roses. However, as I got closer to her, I noticed that she wasn't smiling, having instead a sad glow in her eyes. Then, I noticed I looked like a six year old boy.

"Do you remember this place, Koushiro-san?" She asked, without turning her face to me.

"Taichi-san hasn't met Izumi Koushiro yet, you shouldn't know who he is." I told her.

"I have these dreams sometimes… since before I saw the beasts in the sky of Hikarigaoka. I'm older… I'm with Tailmon and my brother saving a world full of monsters and you were there… but it was only really you that first time. Do you remember? Onii-chan and I were buying flowers for our mother's birthday and found you and Makoto-san here. That was the day I met you." She said.

I remembered that day clearly, but she shouldn't be able to. Maybe my meddling with her crest had something to do with it. Without restraints, her power couldn't only breach holes in reality, but it also allowed her to remember different lives. I put myself in her front so I could look directly into her eyes; what I saw terrified me. The eyes of that young girl seemed as ancient as mine.

"Izumi Koushiro died a long time ago. I'm a computer program with his memories and some glitches." I told her.

"You are different… sadder, angrier… but I can tell it's still you." Hikari-san said.

"I'm not Izumi Koushiro! Don't call me that! I'm not human nor am I alive! All I am is information gathered!" I stated.

She gazed at me in silence for a couple of minutes.

"Ok. I won't call you by that name if it upsets you. How would you like to be called?" Hikari-san asked me.

"My creator called me Homeostasis. I'm also called Spirit of the World, Fate-" I began to explain.

"You're not answering my question. How would you like to be called?" She interrupted.

"I'm a thing. I don't have any preference." I replied.

"Then, I'm going to call you 'my friend.' Does that sound good to you?" Hikari-san asked, smiling. I didn't have any reason to refuse that treatment, so I nodded.

"Do you understand what is happening to you now? You're in the hospital… your body isn't reacting for some reason. This has never happened before…" I murmured.

"I think I've never remembered before. I have these glimpses of memory… these sensations… I've gone through these events many times, haven't I? When Onii-chan asked me to go play outside with him, I knew something bad would happen to me and he would cry… nevertheless, I still went." She said, sadly.

"Because you didn't want to let him down…" I guessed.

"That would make sense… It fits with the opinion people have of me…" Hikari muttered, glancing down.

"Is there another reason for you to have done that?" I asked.

"If there was another reason… I mean… if I did something that I knew would hurt my brother's feelings… that would make me a bad person, wouldn't it? And I should be a good girl that puts the happiness of others before mine." She mumbled.

"That wouldn't make you a bad person. It doesn't matter what you do, you'll always be good, Hikari-san." I said without thinking too much.

She lifted her head and looked at me with wide open eyes. I approached her and touched her hands, letting her see into my memories. I showed her the Digital World, her partner's island to be more precise. Hikari-san learned from Taomon's mouth about her divinity and her destiny as the savior of the world.

"Did this ever happen before?" She asked, softly, once I brought her back to the flower shop.

"No, it's the first time. I'm changing things for you." I let her know.

"But when Onii-chan learns… when he comes to the Digital World with me…" Hikari muttered, furrowing her eyebrows.

"Taichi-san won't be a chosen child this time, nor will Yamato-san." I stated.

She looked at me in pure shock, not uttering a word for more than one minute.

"He can't… I need my brother to be with me! He has always taken care of me! What am I going to do if he's not around?!" She protested.

"You don't need him, Hikari-san. You're more than strong enough by yourself." I assured.

"But he has to be a chosen child! He's the most important one! Everybody… the Digital World needs him!" She continued.

"The Digital World needs you! You're the most powerful chosen child! You're the noblest, the bravest, the kindest and all living things should bow to you in awe! You're extraordinary, don't you understand? You're the most important person in existence!" I nearly shouted.

Hikari-san was visibly startled. First, she looked at me as if I was crazy. Then, her expression softened as a tearful glow appeared in her eyes.

"Do you really think I'm those things?" She asked timidly.

"You are those things." I reiterated.

A couple of tears fell from her eyes, but she smiled.

"You made me feel good about myself. Thank you, my friend." Hikari-san told me.

"If you like, I can visit you more times and we can talk more." I offered.

"I'd like that a lot." She said, showing me an even brighter smile.

After that, I left her inner world and Hikari-san recovered. I theorized that her psychological state might've influenced her health and felt bad about it. Therefore, I vowed to make her happy, no matter what.

Almost every night for the following four years, I visited Hikari-san. Her favorite location was the flower shop. I don't know how she did it, but I could only appear as being two years older than her, whatever her age was at the moment. There were times when looking at her made me think too hard about my original Hikari and that life I didn't want to claim as mine. When those hurtful feelings resurfaced, a few streams of blood came down from my head. I tried to hide them at first, but she told me it was okay. Hikari-san placed her hands on my head and made the pain disappear. I couldn't put in words how grateful I was for her.

She asked about Tailmon sometimes, but I told her I couldn't show her partner because of what had happened when she was a toddler. Hikari-san didn't remember tearing the fabric of reality to protect the cat digimon, but she believed me. I noticed that the scale of her power scared her, so I tried to make her feel better.

"You won't have to deal with this alone. You'll have the other chosen children to help you and you can count on my knowledge as well." I told her.

"Is Tailmon going to help me too?" She asked.

"Right now, your partner is getting stronger for you." I assured her.

She knows the basics about you, Tailmon, Kanda, Ofanimon, Devimon and others… how many times did she want to help her partner and I talked her out of it? "It's too dangerous to interfere, you could destroy the world, everything will turn out fine in the end, trust me" I said to her repeatedly. In those occasions, she didn't insist in changing my mind. Instead, she looked at me with cold eyes I had never seen in other universes. I knew she was reprimanding me… I knew she thought I was wrong, but she couldn't bring herself to condemn me in loud voice. That would change.

As time passed, Hikari-san opened up more to me. She told me about things that bothered her and made her upset and about how guilty she felt for feeling that way. I told her that there was nothing wrong in how she felt and that she shouldn't be ashamed of it. I once asked why she didn't tell other people about those things, to which she replied:

"Everybody already has so much to worry about. I don't want to add to the things that make them sad. I'd rather be someone that can raise their spirits and make them smile… like Onii-chan."

"You don't have to be like your brother, Hikari-san." I said to her.

"Onii-chan doesn't think twice before helping someone, he jumps into action. Sometimes, he gets into fights because of it, but he doesn't mind. My brother does what he thinks is right for everyone without hesitation. There's something about how he talks… about how he smiles… he knows how to bring people together and how to encourage them… from the little I know about my other lives, I know that he has always been like that… like a sun that keeps everybody warm and happy."

"The sun is nothing but one star. There are many others much brighter than it, but we can't see them when the sun is up. Their true splendor is only visible in its absence." I commented.

"My brother is the person I admire most in the world. If I could be just a little like him, I'd be happy." She said.

"You surpass him, Hikari-san. You simply haven't accepted it yet. But once you do, you'll see how much of an impact you'll have on everybody's lives." I told her.

"Onii-chan is a good person. When the time for me to go to the Digital World comes… if I explain everything to him, he'll let me go, right? In those other worlds, he let me go because he knew I was needed… he must do the same this time…" She muttered, as if talking more to herself than to me.

After she became more comfortable with me, Hikari-san asked more frequently about what I did in the Digital World. I couldn't bring myself to lie to her. So, I told her:

"I was created to serve the Digital World and its inhabitants. I give them what they want… sometimes what they want is to hurt others, so I give them the power to do that. Some of them want to believe they're special, so I feed their fantasies. At times, there are those that want to sacrifice themselves for something greater, and I let them. Some want someone to hate and blame everything on, and I can be that someone."

That was the ordinary explanation she had never really objected to. Until the day she did, six months before Sora-san and the others came to the Digital World.

"You talk as if you're not responsible for all those tragedies." She said to me, walking away from the flower shop. At the other side of the door, there wasn't a city, but a large field of tall grass. The rays of sun barely made their way through the clouded sky. I followed the girl in the pink dress and talked to her, but Hikari-san had hidden herself among the tall grass.

"I'm just a machine. I'm not entitled to decide what's good or bad." I stated.

"You know that what you've done is bad." She affirmed.

"I realize you're far too young to understand, but 'good' and 'bad' are not that easy to define. I gave power to Patamon, the partner of your old pal Takeru-kun-" I began to say.

"I've never met Takeru-kun in this life." She cut me off.

"But you two always end up being friends. Anyway… if the partner of the bearer of hope wants to bring peace to the world, why should I hesitate to give him power? Yes, he killed a lot of digimon, but he was doing it for his ideals! Who was I to say he was wrong? Besides, it's not as if I went around giving power to anyone after that! All the mess with Ofanimon, the Sanctuary and the Academy was off my hands, I had nothing to do with it!" I defended myself, looking frantically around to the grass that seemed to grow.

"You feel so guilty about everything you've done, but you keep lying to yourself… you make up ridiculous excuses trying to convince yourself that you're not human…" Hikari-san said. I couldn't determine from where her voice was coming. The growing grass became thicker and blocked my vision of the sky. The darkness around me was getting denser.

"I'M NOT HUMAN! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO REPEAT THAT?!" I shouted.

"I know what you've never told me, and I'm not just talking about your omissions in saving others. I know what you've done to Koushiro-san again and again…" She spoke in a cold voice that terrified me.

Hikari-san shouldn't know about that, it shouldn't be possible. I had never bothered to guard my thoughts from her because I believed she couldn't see them unless I let her. But, in the end, I am a part of the Digital World where I removed all barriers to her power. Her crest, made to respond to her strongest desires, was meant to help Hikari-san in her apotheosis to come. I should've seen it, it should've been obvious… that child already overpowered me.

I tried to escape from her, but couldn't move. She could do anything she wanted to me. However, I didn't stay frightened for too long. It might've happened before what I had planned, but the idea was always for Hikari-san to be stronger than me. She was the only one who could achieve that, the only one who could save me.

"Koushiro-san is a close friend of my brother. You have no idea how hard it is for me to look at him… to talk to him… knowing what you've put him through… that poor boy…" She muttered.

"Why did you take this long to confront me? Were you scared I'd hurt you? I would never do that to you." I wanted to know.

"You're quite strange, my friend… you're not evil, I know that. You're just someone filled with pain. That pain makes you do horrid things, things you regret! But you don't have to continue to be like that. You can stop… I can help you to stop." She said in a comforting voice.

Then, I saw her walking in my direction, emitting pink light as she showed me a beautiful smile. She spoke with confidence… with a determination that I didn't know… seeing her like that made me so proud.

"You can rewrite me… you can erase all these glitches and turn me into what I'm supposed to be… a fully functional computer program that has only the best interests of the Digital World in mind… the greatest ally of the chosen children…" I mumbled, feeling my eyes getting warm and my sight getting blurred. Hikari-san's smile vanished.

"What you're asking me… I can't… I can't do that to you!" She cried.

"But you must! You're the only one who can fix me! With your help, I'll be so much better! It'll be so much easier to help my friends in their mission! To help them to get stronger!" I said, without thinking.

"Your friends? The chosen children?" She asked, making me realize what I had just said.

"That was the glitch talking, not me! I can't control those things… I need them to stop, do you understand? I can't help myself, only you can!" I told her, letting tears roll down my eyes.

"The answer isn't for you to stop being yourself, but to embrace who you are! You can get better and be the good person I know you can be! Accept yourself, Koushiro-san!" Hikari-san urged.

"STOP CALLING ME THAT!" I screamed, walking backwards. She tried to reach out to me, I could feel a force pulling me in her direction, but I managed to resist.

"I just want to help you, Koushiro-san!" She stated.

"I'M NOT HIM!" I yelled, shutting my eyes closed. Then, suddenly, I stopped feeling that force. I had left her world.

I was afraid to talk to her again and have another outburst, but to spend so much time away from her was driving me to despair. I had grown so used to having her around that I felt like a part of me was missing... my best part… I didn't seek her again until Sora-san and the others had gone to the Digital World. In my original plans, Hikari-san was to go with them and I'd guide her to her partner. When she didn't go to the summer camp, I realized that the way I had behaved must've hurt her feelings. It wasn't my place to guard myself from her. I went to visit Hikari-san, who was home alone, taking a nap. We met at the flower shop, where she was gazing at the white roses she loved so much.

I apologized to her and she did the same.

"It was wrong of me to look into your mind without permission. I won't do that anymore." Hikari-san promised.

"Can we pretend none of that happened and go back to how we were before?" I asked in a murmur. She nodded and smiled, sadly.

"I missed you, my friend." Hikari-san said.

"I missed you too." I replied.

After that, she told me that she had pretended to be sick and I guessed she did it because it'd be awkward for her to see the Izumi Koushiro of this universe in that camp.

Then, things got complicated between us. She disagreed with how I wanted to help the chosen children and we had a big fight. That really messed me up… I lost control of my emotions and got to talk to Izumi Koushiro, but I couldn't accept what he had to say to me… I needed to make amends with Hikari-san.

Tonight, I begged her to talk to me. Reluctantly, she agreed, but only if I didn't enter the flower shop. Through the closed glass door, I told her what had happened.

"You did it again… you tried to kill Koushiro-san…" She spoke in a disappointed tone.

"That was wrong, but I couldn't help myself. But now I know, Hikari-san! I've accepted who I am, like you wanted me to! I want to make things right!" I said.

"Is that what you call making Palmon fight Patamon?" She asked, disgusted.

"I helped them to solve their problem and they're all better now! Mimi-san is feeling so much better, isn't that what you wanted? I did it for you!" I stated.

Hikari-san stared at me for half a minute. She opened the door and stepped outside. The flower shop disappeared and we stood among the tall grass. Thick tears rolled from her eyes. I tried to dry them with my hands; it was when I noticed my long blooded arms. I no longer looked like I was only two years older than her, as usual. That was the appearance I had when I died.

"This is my fault for thinking I could change you… that I could make you stop. You're never going to stop, are you? You're not going to get better… look at what you've done because I overlooked your actions. If I let you, you'll hurt more people, you'll torment them in worse ways than you did to Mimi-san…" She said.

"Why is what I did to Mimi-san such a deal breaker to you? Was it because I made you help me? Getting your hands dirty was too much for you, is that it?" I inquired, bitterly.

"You don't get to talk to me like that!" Hikari-san shouted.

"Of course! Because you're such a good person! Everybody says that to you! You can conciliate being a good person with your omission in stopping me by pretending that you wanted me to change, but it's harder to do that when you're covering up for me and lying to Mimi-san! It's harder when you shut me off and let me nearly kill your brother's precious friend!" I accused as tears rolled down my face and my imaginary body began to shiver.

I didn't think about what I was saying. It'd be easier to believe those were words thrown out in a moment of anger, but I knew there was a deeper meaning behind them that I didn't want to face, something that I could only see once I acknowledged my humanity. Hikari-san was formidable, but she wasn't perfect how I thought she was. She was a little girl with insecurities and flaws, not a savior or goddess. What had led me to think otherwise wasn't any cold machine logic… I was never really a machine. It was my memories blurred by my feelings of the girl in the flower shop, the Hikari-san I had grown up with… the one with whom I was going to see the Christmas lights…

What was I doing, trying to make her live up to my idealization, making her the one that could save me? Everything seemed so stupid and wrong. What the hell was I doing? What did I want? I don't know… I don't think I'll ever know… maybe I was just a fool trying to make sense of my irrational whims. What did I do to them all? And Hikari-san? My sweet Hikari-san was crying profusely, trembling, feeling responsible for my sins… a little kid like her… what had I done? How could I say all those stupid things to her? What made me so angry at her… so scared…?

"Please, forget what I said to you." I pleaded.

"We can't pretend it didn't happen. We should never have tried that." She spoke in low voice.

"I'm so sorry, Hikari-san…" I said.

"I didn't pretend to want to change you. I could've stopped you long ago. An actual good and brave person that thinks on the happiness of other people first would've done that… but I didn't want to lose you… you're so important to me, my friend. If you could be redeemed, I could keep you in my life…" She cried, rubbing her eyes.

"We're really bad for each other, aren't we?" I murmured, wiping my tears with the back of my hand. Hikari-san didn't say anything; she just kept giving me that devastated look.

"You understand it, don't you? I can't let you continue." Hikari-san whispered, as if scared of her own conclusion.

"I know." I said back. I took a step forward, kneeled in front of her, lifted her face with my hand and forced a smile. And I told her: "It's not that bad. I won't suffer anymore, I won't hurt anyone again… I'm sure you'll make good use of my knowledge and Tailmon… she'll be such a terrific friend to you, you'll love each other so much… she's coming to meet you right now, you know? When you wake up, make sure to go greet her and hug her, okay? You'll see… soon… I'll be just a bad memory buried under many good ones…"

Hikari-san stretched her arms and emitted pink light from her fingertips. The tall grass field vanished and was replaced by a flowered field, where a bird was chiseling a small piece of diamond.

"G-Good-bye, m-my friend." She said, among sobs.

"You can call me by my name, if you want." I told her.

Hikari-san smiled sadly as a pair of thick tears escaped her yes.

"Good-bye, Koushiro-san."

Those were the last words I heard from her.

She woke up a bit after that, but she's still taking me over. This room is the last place left. Once you wake up, you'll notice that very little time passed outside.

Thank you for listening to me, Wizarmon.

Wizarmon could at last move and speak again. He looked around, noticing the pink sparks making their way into the room.

"Hikari… has your power now? Fate's power?" He asked, afraid.

"I'm just a bunch of information that she can use. Power was something she always had, now more than ever." The boy explained.

"She's going after Ofanimon! I have to stop her! How do I stop her?" Wizarmon was sounding desperate.

"What happens from now on isn't my problem." The other stated.

"How can you say that?! Why did you bring me here, then?! What was the point in telling me all that?!" The mage shouted.

"You know… in universes where he doesn't die, my brother is a chosen child and you're his partner… I didn't want to be alone… you're the closest thing to him I can have." The boy said in a weak voice. "I can feel the slumber already… I think I'm beginning to dream… I can see the Christmas lights and Hikari-san's smile…"

Pink light was slowly surrounding them. The boy's body was being consumed by it; he closed his eyes and smiled.

"It's time for me to sleep. And for you to return, Wizarmon."

The mage digimon woke up by Tailmon's side, on the balcony. Hikari and her brother were talking a few steps away.

"What happened to you? You just fainted out of nowhere!" Tailmon said.

With urgency in his voice, Wizarmon told her:

"We have to get out of here!"

Taichi had made her an omelet for dinner. He wanted to know what was making her sad, but she knew how to make him change the subject.

"You seem a bit down, Onii-chan. Is everything okay?"

"What? Yes, yes it is!" He said, laughing nervously. "You might not believe it, but… Sora and Koushiro visited a world inhabited by monsters with some other kids. And they befriended talking monsters."

Hikari slightly raised an eyebrow as she took a portion of omelet to her mouth, studying how her brother's face was getting covered by sweat and he avoided looking at her.

"Didn't you go with them?" She asked, fully knowing the answer.

"Uhm… no, I didn't…" Taichi muttered, glancing at his plate. "They did fine by themselves, though. Sora and Koushiro even became closer to each other. I think they're better friends now..."

"That's good." Hikari said, smiling softly. "They can get along well just fine without you around. You should be happy."

"They were forced into that situation, it's not like they chose anything." Taichi mumbled, while playing with his food. "During their hardships, they must've wanted me to be around and help. I was always there for them… I was their best friend, they could count on me for anything..."

"Are you not their best friend anymore?" Hikari questioned in a serious tone. She thought he was being over dramatic, but it wouldn't be nice to tell him that. The girl had to find a way to make him feel better.

"You shouldn't worry about that." She said. "Everybody loves you, Onii-chan. They'll certainly be drawn to you again."

"There's something off with them…" Taichi muttered. "They're keeping things from me… and there was this air between them, like… they seemed to be so close… they weren't like that before, they didn't have anything in common. I was like a bridge to them and now it's like they're leaving me behind… as if they didn't need me anymore…"

"Does that bother you?" Hikari asked.

"I shouldn't be bothering with this stuff, it's not really important." Taichi said, forcing another laugh. "Everything is fine now. Everybody is safe. That's all that matters."

The girl didn't say anything else. She knew that wasn't true. Mimi, for instance, had been hurt pretty badly with her help. Hikari went along with it, knowing it was wrong. She was scared. It wasn't like the things he had done in other universes, before meeting her. It wasn't like the bad things he hadn't stopped from happening. He actively hurt Mimi and her mother and didn't see anything wrong with it.

Hikari didn't stop him, she didn't understand what he was doing. The girl thought that she had him figured out and that she could help him. But that was too much.

When she went to sleep, she returned to the flower shop. Hikari had never visited a place like that in her life, but had glimpses of memory regarding it. They were little pieces of a puzzle she couldn't visualize. In the end, she didn't know much besides that she had lived many lives that were too similar to each other.

Always the sweet girl, beloved daughter, timid little sister, protected by her heroic brother… she was someone said to think of others first. She shouldn't want to hurt anyone, but she hurt Taichi that time. Hikari knew he would suffer if she went to play with him while sick and did it anyway. Why didn't she stop? Why didn't she say anything? She simply accepted what others wanted. Why put up a fight? It was always like that, it would always be like that. But then she met her friend and the promise of a different life seduced her.

She didn't have to be in anyone's shadow, she didn't have to be protected by Taichi. Hikari could be strong, brave, heroic. She could save the world.

However, Hikari began to see things she didn't want to. Things her friend didn't want her to know about. At first, she was in denial. He was so kind to her, how could he be like that? For a while, she made up excuses for him. But wasn't that just her being passive? Hikari didn't want to be like that. She had to confront him but didn't want to lose his friendship, so she thought she could help him to change. If she could save the Digital World, surely she could save her friend.

But the only help he wanted was to stop existing. If she had done that when he asked, so many terrible things would've been avoided, it would've been better for everyone, except for Hikari. Because of her selfish desire to keep him around, that one person who believed in her completely, who saw something extraordinary where everybody else saw a fragile kid… Hikari didn't want to lose him. How many did that decision damn?

He appeared at the other side of the glass door of the flower shop. She didn't allow him to enter. He babbled incoherent things and didn't bother to hide his thoughts and feelings from her, like he had been doing since after their six months separation.

Hikari saw everything he had done that night.

Her friend was there to beg for her forgiveness and to swear that things would be different that time. Not realizing, again, what he was doing wrong. In that moment, Hikari finally accepted that he would never change. And she understood that it was her responsibility to stop him from hurting others.

The pain she felt when she did it was so agonizing that she wished she could open her chest and take her heart out.

Once it was done, a white wooden door appeared at the tall grass field of her mind. Behind it lay what once was the Koushiro she knew.

When Hikari woke up, all she wanted was to continue to cry. However, Tailmon was finally coming to her, leaving a life of misery behind, something from which Hikari hadn't saved her. Tailmon had already suffered so much, she deserved a partner that would make her happy. Hikari had to be that person for her partner's sake. Once her partner arrived, she made sure to smile the whole time. But she couldn't do it anymore after her brother appeared.

"What's going on, Hikari?" He asked, with an astonished look.

There were many gentle ways to explain what was happening, but Hikari felt too drained of energy to find one. She had already put so much effort in accommodating Tailmon, why did she have to do it again with her brother so soon? Her heart still raced and her insides still hurt, she could still see glimpses of Koushiro whenever she blinked, she could feel his presence fading from the melting snow on the balcony. She was so tired, how much did she have to explain? Hikari should get straight to the point and let her brother know what she had to do. He would understand, wouldn't he?

"I'm a chosen child, like Sora-san and…" She couldn't pronounce her friend's name without crying. "Tailmon is my partner. She'll help me to save the Digital World."

Taichi didn't want to believe her at first, but Hikari showed him the digivice and the crest. A horrified expression took over his face.

"Y-you can't be… it's not possible, you can't… no… no!" Taichi murmured, taking two steps in her direction.

"I'm going to be safe, I promise." Hikari said.

"You have my word that I will protect Hikari!" Tailmon vowed, standing by the side of Wizarmon, who had fainted.

"B-but you can't go without me!" Taichi protested. "I-I have to be with you! I have to take care of you!"

"I'm strong!" Hikari stated, clenching her fists. "No one is stronger than me! No one can hurt me anymore! That world needs my help and I can't ignore it!"

Her body trembled. Her memories with her friend resurfaced, making fresh tears appear in her eyes. She had done that to him because it was the right thing, she couldn't afford to be selfish anymore, for the sake of everybody else. If she had to do that, she couldn't stop now. Hikari had to fully commit to her responsibilities and take action. She wouldn't be stopped by a concerned brother.

"First Sora and Koushiro, now you… why…?" Taichi mumbled. "You can't just all abandon me like this, as if I didn't matter, you can't… what am I going to do without you…?" A few tears formed in his eyes. "You can't do this to me, Hikari!"

"To you…?" The girl repeated in low voice. "This is happening to you?!"

Whatever part of her heart that had endured her friend's demise was shattered by what her brother said. He was supposed to be selfless, heroic, everything she wanted to be. She had to sacrifice so much for what was right, she had to suffer for the sake of others. Meanwhile her brother wasn't willing to lose anything, he wasn't willing to see from someone else's perspective. For him, her actions mattered to the extent of how he was affected by them, by how they made him feel. Her beloved brother couldn't be that self-centered.

Or could he? What if he had always been like that, but she fooled herself into believing otherwise? What if her outstanding brother only existed in her imagination? He could very well just be a selfish guy. Maybe, he did good deeds just because he wanted to be liked. Maybe he actually liked that she was so self-sacrificing, it must've made things convenient for him. And that was why he never wanted her to change in all those lives. He was the only one meant to be the hero, the only one meant to save the day. Her role was meant to revolve around his. Not even while playing pretend did he ever let her be anything else.

In all her lives, she had been nothing else besides Taichi's sister.

"You're a terrible brother, Onii-chan." She said in a cold tone. "I don't need you for anything."

"What are you saying…?" Taichi asked, confused and hurt. "Hikari, you don't… you don't really mean that, do you…?"

Large tears formed in his eyes and his body shivered. He stood there, shocked, with his heart broken. Hikari didn't feel bad about him. Now she saw things clearer and understood her actions better than when she was a child. It was time for her to grow up.

A discussion between Tailmon and Wizarmon caught her attention. The mage digimon was up and pulling the cat by the arm.

"I'M NOT LEAVING WITH YOU! I JUST FOUND HIKARI!" Tailmon shouted, trying to hold onto the balcony with her free paw.

"All of this was a mistake, Tailmon!" Wizarmon told her. "That girl isn't who we thought she was! She's dangerous! I can't let you be with her!"

"STAY AWAY FROM MY PARTNER!" Hikari ordered, glaring at Wizarmon. Perplexed, the mage let go of the cat digimon, who ran to the girl's side. The child felt something hot emerging from her and looked down. He crest was glowing.

Trembling, Wizarmon pointed his staff at her.

"I won't let you kill Ofanimon like you did to that boy!" He vowed.

"W-What is he saying?" Taichi asked in a weak voice. "My sister w-would never-"

"Don't talk on my behalf!" Hikari shouted at her brother for the first time in her life, which left him speechless.

"Are you alright, Hikari?" Tailmon asked in a scared voice. "You don't seem well…"

"I'm so sick of this." The girl said. "Always pleasing others, always smiling, doing what I'm told… enough with this. Enough! I'm the one who calls the shots now! I'm the one who makes the decisions and no one can stop me! NO ONE!"

"My body… it's burning!" Tailmon cried as the intense light from the girl's crest entered her.

"Stop what you're doing!" Wizarmon ordered the girl. "Leave her alone, you devil!"

"Hikari… please…" Taichi tried to talk to her. "This isn't you…"

"You don't know who I am, Onii-chan! I never let you know!" Hikari stated, glaring at him. She could feel years of anger and resentment she hadn't acknowledged burning their way out of her heart and getting mixed with her sadness. She had reached a point of no return and knew it. "Devil… Goddess… it doesn't matter what I'm called or how people feel about me." Hikari affirmed, looking back at Wizarmon. "I'm going to save the Digital World!"

An explosion of light knocked Wizarmon and Taichi unconscious. Tailmon levitated and began to change.

"Tailmon super evolves to… ANGEWOMON!"

The angel was shocked at her sudden transformation.

"Too much power… is this Hikari's…? I can't handle it…" She muttered.

"You'll get used to it, don't worry." Hikari assured. "Please, take those two inside and put them in the beds. I'm going to change my clothes and then we'll leave."

"W-Where are we going?" Angewomon asked.

"First, we'll find a quiet place for me to study some information I've acquired. Then, I'll open a portal for us." Hikari said. "The Digital World needs us. And once we save it, I promise I'll make you happier than you've ever dreamed of being."

"What about the other chosen children?" The digimon asked.

Hikari looked at her for a moment and smiled large and bright before replying:

"We don't need anyone else."

I think this chapter is the riskiest one I ever wrote, but it was essential not only for the plot of the final arc (which starts in more two or three chapters) but also for Hikari's character arc, which is going to be a big focus of the story. I know that where she's heading is upsetting now, but her destination will hopefully pay it off. Thank you for staying with me so far. May 2018 be a good year for us all.