Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto
A PUNK'S LIFE
BY: ADOREDRA FAL'NAELRA
CHAPTER ELEVEN: WIND
THE TEST
AN: Happy first week of spring semester to me.
Naruto swaggered up to the front of his second semester freshmen elemental manipulation class. The teacher had finally called his name to collect the special chakra sensitive paper that allowed people with sufficiently large enough chakra reserves to determine their chakra nature. The elemental affinity assigned by the paper would dictate which of the five classes that the student would be placed into during sophomore year. For this semester, the instructor would go over the basics of all elemental natures, the basic techniques, the proper synergies and other strategies.
He took the paper respectfully with his new founded gentlemanlike behavior that he accredited to his time during Root's pledgeship. Also, it helped him with the ladies to offset his reputation as a total manwhore. Naruto didn't care too much; he loved the ladies. He just regretted that the characteristic gave him a bad name in the female circles. Apparently, his self-proclaimed ability to give unending female orgasms in bed didn't make up for his numerous conquests.
Naruto didn't have to give much thought to which elemental chakra he would get from the paper. With a name like Naruto Uzumaki that literally meant Fishcake Whirlpool, a water elemental chakra nature simply came with the name. Also, his research into the mysterious Uzumaki clan that had been dying out over the past two centuries since the defeat of their home village turned up the Uzumaki's affinity for water consistently.
While water didn't exactly have the same level of excitement as giant balls of fire, he liked to think that water could be the most useful for Naruto considering his resourceful personality. Furthermore, he could exploit the resources available to him in Root's vast repertoire of elemental chakra techniques that boasted the exact copies of the Second Hokage Tobirama Senju's techniques as the original founder of Root and his own clan the Namikaze. Also, as luck would have it, his big brother had a water affinity, which helped Kabuto in his medical studies.
He already had dreams of being the next God of the Water like Tobirama or the Goddess of the Whirlpools like the famous founder of the Hidden Village in the Eddies. He would even surpass the God of the Waves that united the disparate clans of the Land of Water into the Hidden Village in the Mist. Water would heed his call and wash over all those who stood in front of him.
Just like Tobirama, Naruto would use his superb water prowess to wash aside the petty flames of the Uchiha clan and shove it in their aristocratic and perfect porcelain features. He didn't have anything against the Uchiha clan, but the Uchiha that he won the championship with and against and that swatted his bottom decided to fuck two of his ex-girlfriends – both of which wouldn't let Naruto penetrate.
Of course, Naruto confronted the giant fucking asshole despite everyone's advice. Naruto didn't get the overwhelming victory of pummeling the smug and perfect face black and blue but instead got his own ass handed to him with a few nasty comments about Naruto's pledgeship experiences and his conquests with Naruto's ex-girlfriends.
Apparently, the duels between the Uchiha and the Senju actually merited something. Their rivalry made them both giants walking amongst mere mortals. That combined with the main bloodline Uchiha's porcelain and perfect features gave him the ability to woo any woman just by looking in their direction. Thus, he would use his destined water affinity to rain on the Uchiha's parade and deflate his sky-high ego.
He really should count his blessings for having a water affinity. Leaf maintained the second largest reserve of water elemental techniques in the Elemental Nations thanks to Tobirama, the Namikaze clan and Leaf's relationship with Whirlpool. Naturally, Leaf contained the largest and most extensive techniques for fire nature releases with the third largest class of nature techniques being earth thanks to the Senju clan. Thank the gods he didn't have to worry about having a lightning nature or worst a wind nature.
The Hatake clan boasted a few lightning techniques with the Namikaze clan having half a dozen or so wind techniques related to their clan name meaning "Waves and Winds". The problem for an aspiring student like Naruto arose from the issue that Naruto didn't belong to either the Hatake or the Namikaze clans, so he couldn't exploit their withheld knowledge claiming them to be clan techniques.
"Uzumaki-san," the teacher asked. "If you would be so kind as to channel chakra into the paper like everyone else before you."
"Oh, right," Naruto chuckled and started to channel his chakra into the paper without any real care for seeing what he already knew.
When the paper split in half, Naruto blinked a few times with a blank face, "Well, that's the weirdest water nature I've ever seen."
"That would be because it's not water, deadlast," the Uchiha said with malicious humor in his black and soulless eyes. Naruto had no idea why the Uchiha kept calling him that name despite elementary school being like a century ago.
"No," Naruto said steadfastly. "It's water. Trust me. It has to be water."
The teacher touched Naruto on the shoulder, "I'm sorry Uzumaki-san, but you clearly have a wind affinity and a very strong one at that judging by how well and fast the paper split."
"I refuse," Naruto said unwilling to comprehend getting the worst elemental nature in all of Leaf.
"There's nothing to be ashamed of, Uzumaki-san," the teacher said with a sweet voice over some of the class' chuckling at Naruto's petulance. "You will be able to support the fire natured member of your squad. In fact, you'll probably be assigned with the strongest fire user in your grade, so you get to already know your other teammate. You get to be the wind behind the flames of Leaf. It'll be a very prestigious position. I assure you. Every good hero needs a sidekick, and you get to be that sidekick, Uzumaki-san."
"Wait," the Uchiha and consequently the strongest fire user in their grade said. "What?"
"Sidekick," Naruto whispered under his breath. He didn't. He wouldn't. He couldn't. "My name is Naruto Uzumaki! I'm water natured. I demand a retest. This is a cruel prank. Nothing more. Give me another piece of this damn paper."
"I'm afraid not, Uzumaki-san," the incredibly insulting teacher said. "No elemental chakra nature test in the history of the Hidden Villages has proven wrong. Your nature might in the future allow an addition such as water, but right now your affinity is pure, one-hundred percent, unadulterated wind."
Naruto looked up into the glaring ceiling light and screamed at the top of his lungs, "No!"
"Uzumaki-san!" the teacher chastised. "Control yourself this instance young man."
"I don't see how this changes anything," the Uchiha said. "You've always been the sidekick anyway."
Naruto saw red.
"Headmistress?" Naruto asked, as he looked around the room seeing the Uchiha with a shining black eye. "What are you doing here? You know we're in high school now, right? With a Headmaster and everything."
The Uchiha audibly rolled his eyes.
The Headmistress gave Naruto a flat look at the stupidity of his question, "As I was about to say Uzumaki-san, the Headmaster of the high school has brought me in for this dispute, and all future disputes that involve you. The Educational Board has seen fit to make me your personal keeper in matters regarding your education due to my high efficacy rating with you compared to my peers."
The Uchiha audibly raised an eyebrow from his side. Naruto decided to look over the books on the Headmaster's bookcase while twirling his hair in one of his hands to a small whistling sound. He had no idea why a blush stained his cheeks. No idea at all. The Headmistress' wicked gleam in her eyes said that she didn't miss the sudden change in attitude at all.
"It's such a shame that I had to be pulled away from my pressing matters to discipline you Uzumaki-san. You've had such a great record lately, and it is such a shame to see it stained for such a trivial matter," the Headmistress said in fake sincerity.
She wanted to paint his bottom red with her infamous meter stick. Naruto knew it. The Headmistress knew Naruto knew it, and Naruto knew that the Headmistress knew that he knew. He had to bite the side of his lips a few times to get his bearings straight from the sexual tension between them. Furthermore, the fact that they needed to actually act normal in front of the Uchiha added far more fire to the passion compared to their roleplaying attempts in middle school.
"Trivial?" Naruto said with true sincerity. "I find nothing about this trivial."
"You are right Uzumaki-san. This is no trivial matter at all. You are the only wind natured student in Leaf in over a decade," the Headmistress said. "This is a very big deal, Uzumaki-san, and the upper echelons of Leaf have taken notice. The last wind natured ninja from Leaf was a bastard from Sand who became a successful Shinobi before being assassinated by what everyone believes to be Sand. Before him was the current honorable Hokage-sama's second son who has the very rare and prestigious honor of being one of the Twelve Guardian Ninja for the Fire Daimyo himself. A position that you might one day inherit if you continue to work hard.
"Unlike Cloud, every other Hidden Village does not have the luck of having ninja from every pool of elemental chakra. Then again, no other village pursued Clouds barbaric kidnapping policies and breeding programs. This is seen by the fact that every land and village other than Earth and a defunct Land of Water have severe sanctions against the Land of Lightning and the Village Hidden in the Clouds.
"Yet, here you are upset that you don't have water nature of all things. I thought you didn't want to be like every third student. In Leaf, in a given group of three ninja students, one is bound to have a fire nature, one is bound to have a water nature, and the third is a toss up that is usually earth or lightning.
"Thus, being a wind user makes you a very lucrative Shinobi to have on any team. It's good to be wind natured because it's good to be wanted by everyone, right Uzumaki-san. We've frequently talked about how you want people to notice you for the right reasons instead of the wrong reasons. Here is a right reason, and it literally fell into your lap. Of course, in your typical fashion, you threw the gift out the window the moment you got it because of your silly preconceived notions."
"I know Headmistress," Naruto said under his breath before perking up, "but I am no sidekick, especially to that Uchiha prick!"
The Uchiha made a motion to start speaking before the Headmistress picked up her finger and gave him the signal not to talk. The Uchiha frowned at the derision. When did he get the opportunity to talk? He felt like he was watching this conversation through a one-way mirror in a Military Police interrogation room. Did the blonde idiot even know he sat right next to him and could hear everything he said?
"The elemental instructor misspoke Naruto," the Headmistress said with sincerity. "I apologize on her behalf as a fellow educator. She had never received a wind nature user during her career as you could imagine, and she didn't know how to properly handle the situation. She is also a fire natured individual herself which gave her the disposition to consider a hypothetical wind-natured user in a support or ancillary role. A wind user, like every other user, can act in any manner of roles, which she will soon teach you.
"Also, and this is a secret between us, she comes from a noble family that believes highly in the sanctity and purity of bloodlines. You see. She naturally considered someone of your, lets say, heritage would be more than honored with the opportunity to help someone from a higher pedigree. I am in no way trying to justify or defend her behavior in this regard. I'm just saying how she thinks and how this affected what she said in the classroom."
The Uchiha didn't find anything wrong with the teacher's correct understanding of the world. No said the world was fair, and the simple fact of the matter is that some people are born of higher station than others. Some people are better than others.
Naruto, on the other hand, frowned heavily at that fact pattern and instantly disliked the elemental teacher even more than he previously did. Nonetheless, he knew that some people thought that to be true, and Naruto could only prove them wrong to dissuade them from their ways.
"I understand, Headmistress," Naruto said solemnly.
The Headmistress gave a small smile, "I'm glad, Uzumaki-san. It's good to see you have matured along with your body."
Naruto gave a coy smile and blushed while deliberately flexing some of his muscle groups underneath his high school uniform long sleeve shirt and pants, "You think so, Headmistress."
"I know so, Uzumaki-san," she said sweeping her red tongue against her dark red lips, "but I'm afraid that your understanding of the matter now does not excuse your previous behavior. Such naughty actions have to be punished."
Naruto squeezed his legs together while placing his hands in his laps to strategically cover himself. The Uchiha started looking back and forth from the Headmistress and the dumb blonde with unease. Were they doing what he thought they were doing? Were they flirting with each other?
"Don't think I've forgotten about you, Uchiha-san," the Headmistress said. "I'll be writing a very strongly worded letter to your father over your indecent actions by edging Uzumaki-san during a moment of personal crisis. Such behavior is inexcusable in future teammates whether you want to admit it or not. Wouldn't you have to agree, Uchiha-san?"
"Hai, Headmistress," the Uchiha said plainly despite not believing a word of any of it. His parents would express disappointment, slap him on the wrist and tell him to focus more on his studies instead of the kids around him.
"For you, Uzumaki-san, I will also be writing a letter. I find that the honorable Councilor Danzo Shimura-sama of the Hokage's private council and head commander of Root should be notified of your reaction to being wind natured. Granted, he probably already knows, but still. As you may or most likely don't know judging by your actions earlier today, Shimura-sama is one of the foremost wind users in Leaf who became famous for his combination techniques with a late Uchiha. An Uchiha who died in battle, by the way, while the enemy separated him from Shimura-sama," the Headmistress said killing Naruto's bulge and causing his face to go pale at the thought of getting his ass rimmed out by the geriatric cripple who had a stare that could kill.
The Headmistress continued, "Also, due to your violent actions Uzumaki-san, I will be personally punishing you."
Naruto snapped his neck to make immediate eye contact, "In the high school Headmaster's room?"
"Hai," the Headmistress said with a sly smile.
The Uchiha felt like throwing up at both the obvious threat on the part of the Headmistress and the Headmistress' relationship with the empty-headed blonde. His family knew all about Danzo Shimura's partnership with the respected Kagami Uchiha. If he remembered correctly, then the third member hailed from the Akimichi clan. It would be just his luck to have the knuckleheaded blonde on his team.
He might have improved dramatically from his elementary school days, but no one ever really changed who they were as a person. Naruto would simply be always living a punk's life, and Sasuke would be burdened with it for the first few years of his career as a Shinobi. Also, the idiot still believed he had sexual relations with his two ex-girlfriends. Sasuke didn't stain the honor of his clan and the main family by whoring himself out like the blonde.
The Headmistress looked unimpressed at Sasuke, "You're dismissed Uchiha-san."
Uchiha got up and left without any hesitation or a backwards look.
Unfortunately, he didn't exit fast enough before the blonde decided to open his ridiculously large mouth that could probably fit one of those oranges from the latest Fire colony, "Have I been a naughty boy, Headmistress?"