chapter 36

Disclaimer: the characters and all recognisable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer - this is a work of fan fiction, except for the legends and histories of the Quileute that, of course, belong to them. I pay my respects to their gods.

Thanks to BanSidhe [ruadh sidhe] and Feebes86 for betaing and pre-reading.

"You're under the sheet," Bella pointed out.

"Not for long," Paul said.

"Are you leaving again?" Bella asked him.

"I probably should."

"In a little while?"

He really should leave, but he liked lying here and chatting to Bella. "I can stay for a little while."

"Okay."

"Do you have patrol?" She looked worried.

"Yeah." He worried about Bella worrying about the pack. "They all know. You know that?"

"I know. I'm waiting for … I don't know what I'm waiting for. I just feel like something is going to happen."

"An outburst?"

"Poor Jake," she said, as if she knew the most likely person to have an outburst was him.

"He's got a girl, now."

"See, even the fact that you know that and you never talk to him, weirds me out. And besides, do you think him having a girl will help him understand?"

"It should - if she means anything to him."

Bella sighed. "I just can't explain to him why I am not attracted to him. Not without insulting him, at any rate."

"I get that."

She gave him a look. "Oh, you do? Was there someone you had a crush on?"

She realized her mistake when Paul got an odd look on his face. She laughed. Frightened of waking Leah up, she clapped her own hand across her mouth.

Leah shifted and mumbled in her sleep.

Bella poked Paul in the side. "I get it. You weren't keen on someone. They had the crush on you."

"Okay, Miss Smarty Pants and stop poking me."

She giggled.

"Why aren't you tired?" he asked.

"I'm wide awake, aren't I?"

"Typical," he mumbled. "One goes to sleep and the other is wide awake."

"I thought it was supposed to be the guy who falls asleep after?"

He didn't answer that. He held his hand out to her and she placed hers against his palm. Their fingers interlaced. He stared at their hands. He wasn't sure that he had ever done this with a girl before; post coital chats were not big on Paul's lists of things to do. But from the first time he had sex with Bella, he had stuck around.

"It might never happen," she said.

He focused. "What might?"

"Whatever you're worrying about."

He smiled. He reached up and traced her eyebrows with a finger. They lay there and stared at each other silently until he had to go. He kissed her on the forehead. She rolled back over to cuddle Leah and to watch him leave.

Jared had known Paul for a long while, seeing as how they were all part of the early pack together; he, Sam and Paul. But he was much more conservative than Paul and they didn't think enough alike for Jared to really be his friend. Once Jared had imprinted on Kim, his world was completely perfect. He didn't understand why Paul was chasing around after two women. And two such troublesome women at that. He should just wait for his gods given imprint to show up. It had to happen one day, surely? Paul had been phased for ages. But two women? Yep. He was insane. One woman was enough trouble for Jared.

Quil and Embry were playing X-box.

"So you've heard about Paul fucking both girls?"

"Yep." Embry concentrated on the game. If Quil wanted to chat he might have a chance to beat him.

"But now it seems to be a semi permanent thing?"

"Semi permanent? Big word, Quil."

"Shut it, Embry."

They concentrated on the game for a minute, but Quil was not going to let it go. "So do you think when I thought I heard him round at their place weeks ago, that he was with Bella, then? Leah was at her Mom's place for once."

"Yep."

Quil snorted. "Two girls," he complained. "It's not fair!"

"Why is it not fair?" Embry asked.

"I mean that's just too much choice." He frowned. "That's like two vaginas plus four tits, plus- "

"No, Quil. Do NOT do the math. I get it."

"How can he manage all of that?"

"Well, clearly he can if they are still willing to do it with him."

"Pfft."

"And remember the girls like to be together, too," Embry pointed out.

"So you reckon they throw him out occasionally?"

"Probably."

"Or let him watch." Quil's eyes glazed over a little at the thought and Embry picked up a first aid kit in the game while he wasn't looking. "Goddammit! It's not fair."

Embry snorted. "Personally, I wouldn't want two women."

"Why not?" Clearly two women was high on Quil's dream list.

"Looking after one properly is hard enough. With two, you are highly likely to fuck it all up and lose them both. Stands to reason they'll side with each other against you in any argument."

"Especially if they were together first, and you are the new guy."

"Yep."

"Fuck it all up," Quil repeated, "Now that sounds like Paul."

"There's another issue that none of them have thought of so far, too."

"What?"

"Imprinting."

"Shit! With two wolves, it should be twice as likely."

"And they haven't imprinted on each other. Even after Paul and Leah fucked."

Quil looked suspicious. "And they did something weird. I know it. They both keep a damn tight lid on something about their first time. I've tried to worm in there… but, nope."

Silence for a minute.

"Holy shit!" Quil shouted.

"What?"

"Would he have talked her into it?"

"Into what?"

"Wolf sex. Do you think they had sex as wolves?"

"Dude." Embry looked horrified at the thought. "What is wrong with you?"

"Oh man… that is REALLY unfair. Even I didn't think of that one… fuck!"

"Even you?" Embry chuckled. "And we all know you are a freak, Quil."

"Fuck you, Embry."

"You thought of it first."

"So do you think they did?"

"Ask them," Embry casually suggested.

"You ask them."

"I'm not fucking asking them, either of them will hurt me."

"Are you scared of Leah?" Quil chortled.

"Damn right, I am," Embry said.

Quil thought about it. "Yeah… okay… that's fair."

Sam was worrying. Christ he would be glad when Jake took over as alpha. He really would. But Jake didn't want responsibility and Jake didn't want to have to make the tough decisions.

The only good thing to happen recently was that Paul had got a cell phone. Yay.

Paul was the big issue for him right now. He was back. Sam had sent him away to sort himself out and then in a stroke of brilliant timing, his mother had died and he had come running back to the girls.

Paul wasn't imprinted on either of them, so why them? He had ignored alpha orders. For fuck's sake, the pack was hard enough to run now, he couldn't imagine how hard it would be if he had wolves that literally ignored him. And Leah had told him to go fuck himself, too. He almost chuckled. Maybe that didn't mean anything, Leah always told him to go fuck himself.

He worried about her. She had seemed happy with Bella and Bella with her. So why was Paul in the mix?

In some ways, he wished the pack could all be like Quil. He was so overjoyed to phase. He thought it was the neatest thing out. He had generations of family history and pride to back him up and, because he had phased so late, he had been dying to get to it and join all his friends. Plus, Quil's innate joy in things made him a very happy wolf and very easy for everyone to get along with.

Embry had a tough time at the start, but he accepted it now. They were all good wolves in one way or another.

He understood Leah's issues. The wolf had cost her a lot. He got that. But she had grizzled and grumped and carried on like the bitch she now was, until everyone was sick of her and her never-ending complaints. He just felt guilty.

He had been unnerved when she and Bella started dating, but he supposed she had gone for the farthest thing away from him; a normal human and a she was a female too; a little girl.

So why Paul? How did he fit into Leah's world?

The only thing he had going for him was he was an arrogant domineering male wolf. He should have been the damn alpha, rather than Jake.

Hang on… Fuck.

Jacob Black thought that he was cursed. He had loved Bella Swan ever since they were little kids. It seemed like forever. She had turned him down, she had dated a vampire and then she had gone gay. He was okay with that - the gay bit, not the vampire. If she was gay, then it made perfect sense that she had never found him attractive and never wanted him.

But now?

She was fucking Paul Lahote. Who wasn't nearly as big and physically impressive as he was.

It was insulting.

He was around. If she had wanted to have sex with a guy, he would have offered - as if he hadn't already a dozen times. If that was what she needed.

But Paul? Why did she want to fuck Paul? He just didn't understand it.

And of course, in an epic instance of perfectly bad timing; he was dating. He, Jacob Black, had a girlfriend and could no longer offer to assist Bella with her male needs.

He was cursed.

By Bella Swan.

Cursed.

He had never thought that one small girl could wreak such damage on him. It was probably just as well that the Cullens had gone. Fuck knows what damage Bella would have done to him if they were still around.

"Jake?" The voice was female. "You can't sleep?"

"Sorry, honey."

He snugged her in closer to him and kissed the top of her head. "You go back to sleep."

She yawned.

Jake smiled. Right now, he had to stop thinking about Bella Swan. He had other things on his mind. Jacob Black had finally discovered sex. And wow. Just… wow. Now he knew what all the fuss was about. Seeing it in another wolf's head was really no comparison to doing it yourself.

So, he decided that whatever mess Bella Swan had managed to get herself into now, she would have to get herself out of it. He was done with rescuing damsels in distress. Well, at least, that particular damsel.

Unless, of course, there were vampires involved. That was just too much fun.

He sighed. He'd probably still worry about Bella. Cursed, he was cursed.

Collin and Brady were both very young and therefore, very naive. Having a look inside older, more grown up heads was not helping in the maturity department at all.

Brady was not happy. Leah had broken his arm.

"It's your own stupid fault," Collin told him.

"Well, how was I supposed to know?" he wailed.

"You are just lucky that Paul was laughing too hard to hurt you, himself."

"Yeah… okay." Brady nodded agreement. "That would probably have hurt. He would have gone for my face, too."

"Jeez, Brady. You need to learn to think before you open your stupid mouth."

"It just came out! I couldn't stop it!" he wailed.

"She's the female of the pack, not the pack's female!"

"She fucked Sam," Brady argued, "and now she's doing Paul."

"IDIOT! Why would you ask her 'when she was going to fuck you?' Why would she fuck you? Look at you. You are the lowest in the pack order, even if she did do that and she most definitely does NOT."

"I know… I know… I'm an idiot." He went to make hand movement with his arm and winced. "Can you get me another cold towel?"

"Fine. But this is the last one."

"Thanks Collin."

Leah stomped up and down Paul's living room.

"Honestly!" she roared. "The stupid little fuckwit."

"I'm surprised you didn't tear his balls off," Paul commented.

"I should have! That would teach him." She glanced at Paul. "And you!" She pointed at him. "Thanks for defending me."

"You didn't need defending."

"You were laughing too hard to be of any use, anyway."

"It was priceless. The look on your face," he chortled.

She glared at him. "What would you have done?"

"The face. Definitely. I would have gone for the face. Brady thinks he's pretty."

"No! Not that kind of help. You are no use at all." She waved her arms around in frustration.

"You could have broken his nose," Paul suggested helpfully. "Then punched him again, in the same place, and pushed the bone shards into his brain and killed him."

"I don't want to kill him!"

"Well, sooorrry. You said you were going to kill him. Just before you broke his arm."

"Oh, shut up, Paul!"

"You want some stress release?"

"Sex?" she asked.

He nodded eagerly.

"How can you think about sex at a time like this?"

"Time like what? And I always think about sex."

"No! I am going home."

"Fine. Kiss Bella for me."

"Ugh!" She stomped out the door.

Paul grinned after her.

Lily was worried about her boyfriend. He had heard that some girl was having sex with a guy, called Paul and he was utterly shattered. "Jake? I don't understand… is this The Girl?" She knew Jake had some issue with unrequited love. Embry had mentioned it at their first date.

Jake nodded.

"You… l-love her?"

He glanced at her. "It's hard to explain. I thought I did, but…" He stopped talking.

"She's hurt you again, somehow."

He stared down. "Maybe."

"No maybe about it. Tell me," she encouraged. "Just tell me as if I was a stranger you met in a diner. Just let it out, Jake. It's making you sick."

He sighed. "I'll try," he whispered.

He sat silently and she waited patiently. She kept touching him, just little strokes of her hand to remind him that she was there for him.

"Our fathers are friends. I have known her since I was a little kid. Four, I think. She came to visit most holidays and every summer to stay with her dad. There was a gap for a while when she was a teen and then she moved here to live. She was turning eighteen and I was just sixteen. I thought she was beautiful and she didn't know it. She went to high school in Forks and she dated a guy who was… just wrong for her. I tried to save her…"

Lily frowned. Save?

Jake continued, "…but she just got annoyed with me. He dumped her and left town. I was so happy, but she fell apart. She would tell me that she liked me, more than all her other friends, but I kissed her once and she punched me. She would spend time with me, hold my hand, tell me she loved me but then she moved on…"

He took a deep breath.

"…with a friend of mine."

Lily winced.

"Another girl."

Lily hissed. "Ouch."

"Right. So I pretend that it doesn't matter, but it did, you know? Then one day, I finally get it. She's good; they both are. She's everything I wanted her to be: she's alive, happy, and still in my life. So, I let her go."

Alive? Jeez, this girl must be the super emotional suicide-threatening type. "And then?" prompted Lily.

"And then I hear that she is having sex with a guy; he's not a friend, but I know him well. He's wrong for her, too. She's still living with the first girl and it all just seems so wrong for her. He's not a nice guy, Lily. He's going to dump her and leave her destroyed just like the last one. If her first relationship with the girl even survives having him in the mix."

"So it's just sex?"

"I don't know… maybe."

Lily nodded. "So you and boy A offered her commitment and love and she just wants sex from boy C?"

"I suppose." Jake frowned.

"So she's experimenting. She's Ann Heche," she declared.

"Who?"

"Ellen deGeneres' lover who left her for another man and then got married to him. She's happy, but she is making boy B sad."

"Yeah, but I thought she loved Ellen. To use your example."

"Jake, honestly, the girl sounds like a complete train wreck who doesn't see the best thing in front of her. You tried, now you really have to let her go. She's an adult. This is her life and she is fucking it up all on her own. She doesn't want to be saved by boy B."

"She didn't want it back then, she really doesn't want me interfering now. She's been with two other people, rather than me." He paused. "Wait a second, why am I boy B? Why can't I be boy A?"

"Easy. B is better. It stands for Big… Beautiful-"

"Burly."

"Built."

He chuckled. It sounded strained, but it was a laugh.

"I repeat… she was an idiot to not see you."

"Thanks Lily. I feel better."

"I could really make you feel better."

"Yeah?"