Yay! I finally got something up! I've had family issues and school, but it's Thanksgiving break for me and I finally got one of these requests up for you guys. I may not be as active, but I'll never retire from writing these, I love them!
Enjoy, and have a happy Thanksgiving! :) 3
~36th crack pairing: Benson and Audrey~
Just like every Monday morning(and any morning he had to get up for work), Benson mentally groaned as the alarm clock fiercely beeped its digital head off. The middle-aged gumball man slowly got up from bed and turned the darned thing off, taking a glance at it.
6:05 a.m., and those slackers get to sleep until atleast 10 now. I miss the old days..
Normally, those two would have to get up just as early, but now that summer was over and all the kids were back in school, there weren't as many park visitors, which meant that there wasn't as much work to be done. That was one of the few things that encouraged Benson to get up every morning now, since the paychecks and the fruitful work experiences weren't nearly adequate enough.
He stepped outside his door to get the newspaper and glanced at the front page, showcasing the top story. "Unemployment rate reaches 30% as the fall season approaches, will not improve through the holidays".
Benson rolled his eyes. They say this every year like it's the state's fault. Maybe people are too lazy to get up and find work and-
He jumped out of thought when he heard a few low sobs. He looked up from the paper and saw that his neighbor, Audrey, had left her door open, and it sounded like the sobs were coming from her apartment.
Curiously, Benson got the nerve to walk to the door and knock on it.
"Audrey? I-it's Benson. Are you okay?"
After a few seconds, she came to the door, wearing a lavender silk robe and her short blond hair tied up in a bun. Her face was flushed red and soaked with tears, meaning she'd definitely been crying.
"Oh, good morning Benson."
"I-I was just wondering..if you were alright."
She sighed. "Can we discuss it over some hot java?"
Soon enough, they sat at the kitchen table drinking coffee while Audrey talked to her close friend.
"I don't think I'll be able to pay the rent this month. I might be evicted soon.."
"Why? I thought you always paid your rent early. You said you never have late payments with any of your bills."
After she sipped some of her coffee, she looked down a bit. "I will now. I-I lost my job yesterday."
Benson, needless to say, was speechless. He gave her a reassuring pat on the shoulder. "Audrey I, I'm so sorry."
She rested her head on her hand. "I know. I guess I saw it coming. They were cutting my hours to the point where I could've just quit and it wouldn't have mattered."
He sighed, knowing the feeling. "I know what you mean. I've lost so many part-time jobs because of that. You just gotta shrug it off and keep looking."
She smiled. "I will, Benson. I was wondering though, if you'd, when you're not working of course, like to go with me while I job hunt? We can see a movie later or something."
He smiled. "I-I'd love that."
He wasn't all happy though. For some reason, he hated the idea of his dear friend/crush going door-to-door begging for a job.
He thought of something...something that would certainly make her happy again.
"Well actually Audrey, uh..since I'm..you know, the park manager, I could...you know, get you an interview and-"
She gasped and squealed. "Oh Ben, you'd really do that for me?"
He blushed. "Hey, that's what friends are for, right?"
She suddenly roped him in for a huge bear hug. "Aw Ben, I could never thank you enough. When's the interview so I can be prepared?"
"Wednesday at 9 a.m., don't stress too much with an outfit, just make it nice but not too casual."
She finally let go, still smiling at him. "I'll wear my favorite blouse, and I'll bring my a-game for sure."
"Great," He said, then looked at his watch. "I better head to work. See you later!"
"Okay, bye Benson!"
As Benson left her apartment and drove off in his car, he felt like the awkward kid asking out his high school crush; his heart floating and his day seeming to get better already.
But it wouldn't stay that way..
"Yo Benson!"
Benson had drove the cart up to the park house where everyone was gathering for the daily morning meeting. Muscle Man, for some reason, seemed weirdly eager to talk to his boss.
He walked up in front of them. "Morning guys, I-"
"Tell us, bro!" Muscle Man said.
"Yeah, who's the lucky chick?" Mordecai asked with as much enthusiasm as he could give off in the morning.
"Pfft, I don't think any girl getting with 'Benson' is lucky." Rigby replied with a sneer.
Benson became a little red and glared at Rigby. "What are you talking about? Are you guys gossiping again? I thought I said there's no gossiping allowed while I'm around. It causes too much drama in the workplace."
"It's not gossiping if it's true." Rigby retorted.
"What?"
"Thomas told us you have a prospective romantic outing with your wonderfully lovely neighbor~!" Pops said with cheery happiness.
"Wha-? How did-Thomas, how did you know-"
"I took a Parapsychology class last semester, it's a long story." He smiled, rubbing his arm. "The professor showed us how to be amateur fortune tellers and..it kinda works."
"Indeed." Pops happily added. "He predicted I would go galloping through the flower gardens the other day and have a salami and swiss hoagie, and I did!"
Benson had a blank face. I thought that psychic stuff was all baloney..
"So is he right, Benson? You guys gonna go make out at the movies?" Muscle Man asked again.
"'Benson' making out?" Rigby joked. "Ha! More like 'bore her to death with tax talk and cat facts'!"
Everyone else started to ask many questions at once, and Benson finally had enough.
"ENOUGH!" He yelled, quieting everyone. "It's not a 'date', it's...it's an interview. She lost her job and, well, I thought I'd give her an interview."
"So she didn't even apply but you gave her an interview?" High-Five Ghost asked.
"Yeah, so?"
"Ah what?" Muscle Man was irritated. "We had to fill out the applications!"
"Yeah, so did we!" Rigby said.
"You were too lazy to fill yours out, dude. Remember?" Mordecai told him.
"Oh...well still! It's not like Benson just 'handed' us jobs! He's just gonna give that Audrey chick a job so she'll go out with him!"
"What?" Benson was angry, at a loss for words. "It's an INTERVIEW! I didn't promise her any job! You all darn well know that there's a HUGE difference between an interview and actually getting hired. I can't believe you guys are acting like this! I'm helping a friend in need. You understand, right Pops?"
Pops shyly looked away, rubbing his neck. "I don't like participating in these kinds of interventions.."
Benson sighed. "Skips? Surely you understand."
Skips rubbed the back of his neck. "I dunno, Benson, it does seem kinda unorthodox for you."
"What do you mean?"
"All those young girls that used to do car washes in high school came to a group interview clad in tight clothes, and you didn't even give 'em a second glance afterwards."
Benson seemed a bit shocked. "Uh, well, they weren't qualified and they weren't even dressed appropriately to begin with!"
"WHAT!" Rigby angrily perked up. "You said you were gonna call those girls back!"
"I never promised anything!"
"So you'll hire a plain jane but turn down a bunch of hotter looking chicks? And here I thought I had plans for Saturday night!"
Benson was getting angrier at Rigby. "I DON'T...HIRE...BASED ON LOOKS.."
"Dude, I've got news for you," Rigby came closer to Benson. "Audrey isn't what the park people wanna see."
Mordecai tried pulling him back, noticing Benson giving off fumes. "Rigby, this is getting out of hand."
Rigby smacked his hand away. "I'm not done! Seriously, what's the point of putting us through those meetings about what makes the park better? It's not keeping the snack bar clean or keeping the hobos from peeing on all the fountains, it's hot chiiiiiicks!"
"RIGBY-"
Rigby was all up in his face now, with no obvious remorse. "And newsflash Benson, the crap we deal with on a daily basis isn't worth the measly 5 bucks an hour, so I bet if she knew that she wouldn't even take the job if you BEGGED her to! She's better off holding signs on the road!"
"THAT'S IT!" Benson yelled. "YOU'RE FIRED, RIGBY! GET OUT! GET OUT BEFORE I CALL THE COPS!"
"WHAT?" Rigby, obviously showed a little remorse now..
"Benson, wait, h-he didn't mean it!" Mordecai said.
"BULL!" Benson shouted.
Rigby got on his knees towards Benson. "C'mon, Benson, I-I'm sorry man, I-"
"GET OUT! GO!" Benson fiercely kicked at Rigby until he ran off. The rest had been quiet and speechless, including Mordecai.
"I-I can't believe this. H-he'll change his mind, won't he?"
"I dunno. Rigby kinda brought that on himself.." Skips replied.
"Well, look at it this way, Mordo," Muscle Man said, patting Mordecai's back. "Atleast we'll have a chick working with us now."
With that, everyone left except Mordecai and Benson.
"Benson please," Mordecai begged Benson. "You gotta understand. Rigby lost it back there and-"
"Well now he lost his job! He's had it coming for too long. I'm not gonna be talked to that way, Mordecai, I work WAY too hard for this park! I deserve respect!"
"I know Benson but-"
"No, no, you DON'T know! Rigby's not getting any more chances, now be happy you didn't lose yours! I'm done with this conversation, now get to work."
With that, Benson drove away in his golf cart, leaving Mordecai there...without his friend.
That Wednesday morning, Benson and Audrey stepped out of the office and shook hands.
"Thank you again, Benson. Be sure to call me and let me know where I stand!"
"I will, Audrey. Thank you for coming in."
"No problem!"
With that, she walked out, leaving Benson there...he facepalmed himself.
"I-I can't do this...I can't."
Later on in the day after managing duties, Benson walked back into his office and looked at all his notes he wrote during her interview.
'Messy room as a kid, C-average in high school, was 'great' at parties as a teenager, e.t.c. e.t.c...'
He looked at the application she filled out and looked at what she listed as her first job.
'Age 15, worked at The Brazen Bull as a dancer/server'? Benson rubbed his head.
'Brazen Bull'? What kinda place is that? I-I can't hire her...I-I could have another Mordecai or Rigby on my hands! And her interview...well, i-it was bad! She barely took me serious and she kept glancing out the window! Come to think of it, how'd she even get the job she got fired from?
Suddenly, the phone rang and he answered.
"Benson speaking."
"Hey Benson, it's Audrey!"
Crap, she's happy! What am I gonna do? H-how can I tell her..she'll hate me..
"Audrey, hey! Listen, I-I have to tell you something-"
"I do too!" She squeaked. "My boss called me and said he needed me to come back because one of the other employees broke their ankle! I have my job again!"
"Oh, great! I'm happy to hear it! Heh.." He was a little sad, but relieved at the same time..
"Anyway, what'd you need to tell me? If it's about the interview, don't worry about it. You're heavily staffed and all, so you don't need to worry about me."
"Oh no, of course not, I-I was just wondering where you worked-or, where you 'work'. You didn't put the name on the application."
"It's called Yo-Yo Gal Palace Restaurant. It's behind that shooting range on Maple Honey Street. Maybe I'll see you there sometime?"
No, never, not if it's behind a 'shooting range'. Ergh, chills. "Uh..sure. I'll see if I can go soon."
"Okay, Benson, see you later!"
He hung up the phone, breathing a sigh of relief.
"Aleast that's over."
Knock knock.
"Come in."
It was Rigby, twiddling his fingers and a sad panda look on his face.
"Benson, look, I'm sorry I-"
"Save it. You're unfired."
Rigby smiled and did a doubletake. "What? Really?"
"Yeah, now get to work."
"Well, uh, what about Audrey?"
Benson slightly smiled. "Let's just say I didn't need more than two of you around here."
"Awesome! I knew we were special!" Rigby happily cheered. "I gotta say, though, I thought I'd have to really work and beg for my job back."
"What, you're complaining? You got it back, now quit it before you lose it again. For good."
"Sure! Anything for you, Benson-bro, just let me know, I-"
"UGH! Can't you go bother Mordecai or something?"
"Oh, you're right! Later Ben-bro!" Rigby 'OOOOH'd' his way outta the office, cheering and yelling things like 'GUYS, I GOT MY JOOOOOOB BAAAAAACK!'
Benson rolled his eyes and laid back in his chair, finally at peace...for the moment anyway.
My job and I have quite the love/hate relationship..