This chapter contains some adult content. So, you know, read at your own discretion.

The poems in this chapter are Ulysses by Tennyson (of course) and Sonnet XVII by Pablo Neruda.

Enjoy!

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Shepard was on fire.

She pushed him back towards his bed, but he didn't let go of her. He couldn't let go. His hands grasped her hips tightly as she pushed him back, pulling her down with him as the backs of his knees hit the bed. Ashley straddled him, then her lips were on him again. He groaned again into the kiss, his arms wrapping tighter around her for fear she would disappear. She kissed him fervently. The same passion that was setting his body on fire was mirrored in her movements – in the way her tongue danced with his, the way her hips ground against him.

He couldn't take it. He sat up, their mouths still locked, and found the hem of her shirt. His hands travelled up, and he reveled in the softness of her skin, the taut, toned muscles rolling beneath. Shepard pushed her shirt farther up as his hands explored, and she pulled back, quickly aiding him in removing it. His breath hitched as he took her in, all lean muscle and full breasts and so fucking gorgeous. Warm brown eyes watched him, hooded and as daring as ever as she reached behind herself and undid her bra. The woman threw it aside, her brandy eyes dancing as they met his. Shepard growled out a sound that was low and primal as he kissed her, tasting her skin, claiming ever part of her. She was completely, utterly intoxicating. Ash moaned as his lips and tongue played over her breasts, teasing and licking, finally gently tugging at a nipple with his teeth. The soldier gasped, arching against him, until she pushed him back with a smirk.

"I'll get you back for that, Skipper." She grinned, biting a lip and tugging at his shirt. He helped her pull it off, before he was pushed down again onto the bed with an umph. She leaned over him slowly, full lips trailing feather-like kisses down his neck, over his collarbone, his chest.

"That's hardly any way to talk to your Commander." Shepard growled, a smirk playing on his lips, but disappearing quickly as she trailed kisses lower, hands coming to his belt buckle and undoing it deftly. Holy fuck. Taunting eyes glanced back up at him.

"Sorry, sir." She murmured against him, eyes gleaming with mischief. Warm breath tickled his abs as she followed the trail of hair leading her down. He reached a hand up to his own head, tugging at his hair as he felt the maddening sensation again. "You can always order me to stop." Her mouth left him and he was suddenly cold, craving her touch as she undid the button, and he felt fingers curl against his hips as she pulled his pants and underwear slowly down. Her brows shot up and she stilled momentarily, before letting out a hum of appreciation.

Shepard groaned under her scrutiny. He was aching for her touch. But before he could say fuck it and attempt to drag her back up to him, her mouth was around him.

"Oh, fuck." He hissed, his jaw clenched as he collapsed back, an arm thrown over his face. His mind was cleared instantly of coherent thought. He was completely, blissfully lost in sensation. There was nothing that mattered but this. It was so much fucking better than any kind of therapy they could throw at him.

Ash chuckled at his exclamation. It vibrated around him and he grated deep in his chest, a fist balling into the sheets. And she just kept going, moaning occasionally and sending more vibrations over him as his breath sharpened, his heart raced. Until he couldn't stand it anymore, until he needed her, all of her, all around him. He grabbed her hand as it climbed its way up his stomach and pulled her up to him harshly. Her brown eyes met him head on, hot and full of such unbridled want that his nostrils flared as he let go of a sharp breath. An arm wrapped around her and he rolled her onto the bed.

Shepard stood, ridding himself of his pants completely before going for hers, not being nearly as gentle as she had when he ripped them off. Ash flashed him a grin, and he drank the soldier in, so totally, wonderfully naked – so confident and unashamed. "So damn beautiful…" He murmured, then leaned over her again, nipping at her hips, then lifting her legs so they wrapped around him. Shepard settled over her. She moaned and panted beneath him, brandy eyes daring him, urging him forward.

He plunged.

Ashley cried out, and he groaned in reply, his mouth crashing onto hers to quiet them both. He began to move, slowly, and she spurred him on. Her legs wrapped around him tighter, pulling him closer, so he could feel her everywhere. Surrounding him, embracing him. It was euphoria. She threw her head back as he thrust deeper, producing a gasping moan. A hand scratched down his back, the other threaded into his hair as he groaned and bit at her collarbone. His pace quickened, the sensations driving him forward. He palmed her breast, the soldier moaning at the contact as their bodies met again, and again, and again.

She begged him not to stop, to go faster. Shepard felt her tighten, heard her breath hitch as she drew near. Her hand tugged him back to her and she kissed him so intensely he had to hold himself up on both elbows.

And just as suddenly, she released him.

"Oh, God. Shepard!" Ashley moaned his name and let out a cry, passionate and reverent as she arched and quivered around him

Her hands fell from around him down to her sides and he grabbed them, holding them captive and pushing them into the bed above her. He groaned as hips pounded harder against her. She gasped, her body still clenching around him, and he felt himself build, fill with exquisite tension until she moaned again and he snapped taut, then broke. His shout filled the room, and he collapsed onto her, his breathing ragged and his body spent.

They lay like that for a while, listening to one another's shattered breaths. Shepard basked in it. In this feeling of disappearing into her. He didn't want to go back. He sighed, his forehead coming down to nuzzle hers. Ash smiled.

"Hey, Skipper." She murmured, her breath dusting his lips. "You know, you're heavier than you think."

Shepard chuckled. "Way to ruin the moment with a fat joke, Ash." He rolled off of her, the distance foreign and unwelcome until she rolled onto her side, her head resting on his chest.

"Got to tell it like it is." She grinned. "You know, if I had known it was going to be like that, I might have said to hell with regs. I mean, damn. I think you've been holding out on me, Shepard."

Shepard grinned back at her. "I'll have to start ordering you to my cabin more often then, Williams. Wouldn't want word spreading that I'm an unfair Commander." She smacked his chest and he caught her hand, bringing it to his lips. She arched an amused brow at him. He brushed back some of her long hair, meeting her warm, affectionate gaze. Her hand lingered, running over his jaw idly. Memorizing the feel of him, as he did the same with her. His arm held her close to his side, keeping her, trapping her. He couldn't let her go. Once he did, it would be over.

"You know what's weird?"

Shepard blinked down at her. Her voice was still warm, teasing, as she trailed fingers again over the scars on his chest. He stroked a hand down her bare side. "That you're a cuddler?" It was a pleasant surprise. He'd half expected her to run for the hills.

Her hand smacked him, and he laughed. "No, smartass." She rolled her eyes at him. "I don't think I've ever called you by your first name. I mean, I think generally you're on a first name basis with someone when you hit the sack."

His hand stilled. "I… No one really does. Except Anderson, sometimes." He muttered, and she glanced up at him again. "Part of the job, I guess." His eyes lifted to the ceiling, brow furrowing. "If you want to, you can. I'm just… I'm not really that guy anymore."

"Well, it's a good thing you pointed out your rank doesn't apply anymore. It's a good name. A strong name. You can be that guy if you want to." She threw a leg across him and rolled on top, straddling him again. He gloried in the sight. Brown eyes stared down at him, full of heat. This woman is going to kill me. "You're more than your title, Owen." Her tongue tested the feel of his name, savored it. He shivered beneath her at the sound. She bent down and kissed him. It was slower, and she explored him, coaxed him. Her breasts brushed against his chest. Shepard breathed her in, wrapping his arms running down to her hips, his grip tightening as her fingers played against his scalp. She smiled against him, and pulled back just enough so that he could see the desire coursing again through her brandy eyes. "Not that I'm not appreciative of your new disciplinary actions, Commander. That was a whole new spin on 'on the floor and give me 20.'"

Shepard smirked. "I think you might be in need of some more physical training, soldier."

Ashley laughed, the sound sending a ripple over him. Her lips found his ear. She tugged gently at the lobe. "What'll it take to prove to you I'm in prime condition, Skipper?" She whispered, her voice sultry and so damn hot he was on fire again. He groaned as her hand travelled down between them.

"Bridge to Shepard. Better get up here, you know, when you're able." Joker's voice was a taunt.

"That man is a fucking menace." Shepard growled as Ashley leaned back.

"Five minutes from the Mu Relay." The pilot finished, and everything came back. His jaw clenched. Fuck, no.

Ash smirked. "I guess you'll just have to whip me into shape another time, eh?" And she left him, getting off the bed and bending over to pick up her pants. He groaned at the sight, flopping back down on the bed and throwing an arm over his face. How the fuck was he supposed to concentrate now? "You're damn incorrigible. Come on, duty calls." He peeked out at her as she shrugged on her shirt. It was a goddamn shame. He sat up, reaching for his own and stepping quickly into his clothes.

Slowly, the entirety of their situation seeped back into his mind. Saren, Sovereign, the geth. The beacon's screech accompanied the screams of his past, and his ears rang in protest. He sighed, a hand coming up through his hair. He had no fucking clue how they were going to do this. Ashley stepped towards him, her brow creasing seriously as a hand rested on his cheek.

"Stop looking so damned depressed, it's bad for my ego." Her voice attempted for lightness, but she held his face and searched him with worried eyes. "We're getting through this, Owen. Don't doubt it." He closed his eyes and sighed, and she leaned towards him, her whisper breathing against his lips. "Death closes all: but something ere the end, some work of noble note, may yet be done, not unbecoming men that strove with Gods." Her kiss followed, tentative and light, and left just as quickly. His eyes opened, his throat constricting.

"I can't lose you, Ash. I need you. Fuck, I…" Shepard struggled for words, mesmerized by her strong, soothing brown eyes. "I love you. So damn much." Her eyes widened, and she pulled away a little. "I'm sorry. I know you don't love me, and you shouldn't, but I can't… I needed you to know, whatever happens down there. I can't lose you." She looked shell-shocked, but her hands still held on to him. His eyes searched hers desperately. His mind screamed at him as the words flooded out, as his hand brushed through her hair at the nape of her neck. "I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride; so I love you, because I know no other way." He instantly felt like an idiot, but he had to. She drove him insane.

Ashley stood there and stared, her brown eyes darting over him as if he had transformed into some huge, ugly monster. But then her expression softened, a smile creeping onto her lips. "Jesus, you're such a sap sometimes." Her voice was soft and full of laughter, and her arms wrapped around his neck. Her face burrowed against him. Shepard smirked. Well, there could be a worse response. "No one is losing anyone, asshole. Nothing is happening down there except for us kicking Saren's plated ass." He chuckled at her bravado. Her face pulled back. "And Shepard…" She paused, then shook her head. "You know what? You want to hear this, you'll just have to come back to me. It'll give you an incentive not to be an idiot." Her arms released him and she stepped back. "I'll see you later, I've got some other weapons to inspect before we launch." She smirked, eyes dancing mischievously, and Shepard snorted. His gaze followed her form mournfully as she sashayed out with a wave over her shoulder. Oh, fuck.

He didn't know how he could ever live without her again.