Tiny rain drops raced against the window glass, as I traced my fingers along side them, until they reached the end and then again. I repeat the process over and over. Trying to past time or was it just distract my mind from thinking of him ?

"You need to rest, Bella" Seth voiced out his concern, breaking me from my thoughts.

" Why isn't he back yet? The shifts usually weren't this long." I asked him instead. I wasted enough amount of time, no more.

"Jacob.. he's change . You know.." Seth hesitated at first.

" Oh.. I know" How could i forget. All those words Jake tossed at me. How could I forget?

I see him realise what it sounded like to me."I didn't mean it that way, Bella." He started but his voice ceased when Emily patted his shoulder.

"You know, he didn't mean it that way." she came up to me closer.

"i know." i forced a smile and continued looking outside. Waiting...

" he started staying out longer. " she started and paused.

"At first we thought, it was because he was still angry at us for getting involve in both of your relationship but one day Jared and Paul. You know how impatient and strong headed Paul is, they followed him. "

"we thought... he was doing stuff" Seth interfered.

"Stuff?" i wrapped the duvet tightly, i faced them fully this time.

"Yeah... but I swear he didn't" Seth said holding up his hands

"he was actually with you in the hospital" Emily said, forming a smile on both of our faces. But my smile always seem to find a reason to vanish

"but, I'm not there anymore" I said.

"It turned into a habit. I guess" she said crossing her hands in front of her while shaking her head a bit.

"but i assure you there's nothing to worry. Jake's a big boy. he can handle a little rain" she said caressing my hair. Have I ever mentioned how Emily reminds me of Renee?

Of course, he can. I made him go through a whole lot more. I never realised until now that I was the one who changed him. I always blamed others..Billy... Sam ... everyone but it turned out I was the one who forced him to change. It's about time I should take responsibilities for my actions.

"Why don't we get you in bed. Where its nice and warm. It's much more comfortable waiting there" she said. Already halfway across the room, but I heard her footsteps stop when Seth asked

"you are staying ..." he paused. " Aren't you Bella?"

"The guest room is still empty right?" as soon as I asked, Seth crushed me into a hug.

"Yes. Yes. Yes. Thanks Bella." he said holding my hands, after releasing me from the hug.

"No, thank you. Thank you for everything, you two..." my voice shrunk as I realised Emily was gone.

"She's way ahead of you." he showed his famous... Jacob smile.

"Emily, you don't have to get the bed ready yet. I'm going stay up till Jake's back."

"you could do that while in bed too. You were in the rain when we found you, you have no idea how drenched you were ..." Emily shouted from the guest room.

"And cold. Real cold" Seth added before flopping on the sofa.

"you don't want to end up in the hospital again, do you ?" Emily said coming into the room.

"NO ! Once was way more than enough" in which Seth laughed to my reply.

"But .." I started.

"he won't mind" Emily read my thoughts.

"how would you know?" i asked her.

"After all i did, after all he said and after everything i have put him through. After all i have done to all of you." my voice croaked near the end, tears began to fall.

"oh Bella" Emily hugged and caressed my back.

"I'm sure, he didn't mean anything he said and you did not do anything to us." she said smiling. Not a perfect smile. Never. I took that away from her.

She realised. she knows. Just like Renee. "This.." she said, touching her scar. "Is actually a gift."

"How is that a gift?"

"Well cause every time i look at myself in the mirror. I remember, Sam never left my side when i got this. He stayed with me until the scar was fully cured. He tended my needs and even tried cooking for me, ONCE." she chuckled in the end reminiscing the past while still holding my hand.

"That's when i knew, he was the one for me. He never left me. And so did Jake"

I looked at her. "So, you shouldn't worry about all those things, Jake could never hate you. You are his world."

"But I am causing him pain, while he comforts me. He takes care of me while I push him into trouble. How does that even work?"

" it will Bella, trust me it will."

" how can you be so sure, Emily?" I asked her through my tears.

" I.. it's.." she tried but gave up.

"Remember, i said how our relationships are almost similar?" i nodded.

"You have no idea, how alike it is. But you'll find out when the time comes."

"when does that happen?"

" that is, for you to ask Jake"

"if he listens, that is. You should've seen him. Bitter. Rough. A completely different person. the worst part of all is that, I didn't realise.. I was the one who pushed him to be .." I started sobbing harder, bringing my knees nearer to me.

" Bella..Bella. Look at me." she said.

"What is done, is done. There is no point in crying over it. But what you can.. No. What, you should do is talk to Jake. Fix it. If you are the one who caused this, then, you definitely can fix this. it won't be easy but it's not impossible. Take your time, you have Seth and me in the meantime." and on cue Seth came and stood beside Emily.

Time. time. time. tick. tock. tick. tock.

how strange? A few months ago, Edward told me time will help me get over him and here i am now waiting for time to help me with Jake.

I didn't realise I had fell asleep until I was woken up by loud sound and voices...almost like ... someone was shouting.

"What is she doing here?" I heard someone growl.

"Jake listen. Calm down. I can explain" Seth stuttered.

"I don't need to calm down .I don't want an explanation, Seth. I told you to get her out of the rain and back to Charlie's. NOT HERE" Jake, stressed each syllable.

" Jake.. She's.." Seth scrambled to find words until Emily came to the rescue

"I was the one who brought her here" I could feel her boldness in her voice.

I should have been the one, who interfered but i can't... and so I stayed there, pretending to be still asleep

"Sam, tell your imprint to stop interfering in my relationship." Jake shouted.

"Could you keep it down?! Your..." she stopped and paused before continuing "Bella just fell asleep, she was waiting for you."

There was silence for a few seconds, but before I could get the courage to make my entrance. I heard him say " Get Her Out Of The House."

I felt deep ache in my chest as tears started rolling down my cheeks. I deserved it. But he didn't stop there. No it wasn't that simple. It wasn't enough.

" I don't want her, How many times does it take for you guys to understand that?!" he said raising his voice a little.

"Stop saying that. You know that's not true. Did you know how much you had hurt her ?" Emily came to my defence.

" Hurt her? Her?! What about me? What about my feelings? I'm still here, alive. This thing still is working" even though i can't see but i know he was pointing at his chest, his heart. he told me the same thing, a while ago.

"just because she treats me like I'm dead. Doesn't mean my FAMILY" he said stressing the word, and i heard him hitting his chest.

"my family.." his voice broke..

" my family should treat me the same... I still belong here. Just because I made a mistake, doesn't mean I cannot ..."

"the baby is not a mistake, Jake." I heard Sam growled. Jake's next words were the one that killed me in whole.

" i never said it was.."

i was the mistake. a mistake. A big mistake.

" That mistake caused me breaking my family apart. my family.. Do any of you, have even the slightest idea how it feels when just because of you ,your family isn't the same anymore?"

" Jake .. We are still.."

" your dad died, it was because of her. It was because of me. Don't you dare try to deny it." Jake shut Seth up.

" Embry, Quill and the rest of you. You wouldn't be running around doing patrols if it weren't for me. And Sam .. I .."

"Don't you dare bring my scar into this. "

" It may be a blessing for you, Emily. But you have no idea how he felt. we all know how he felt, the first time he ever cried. And what are going to say for Leah? "

Silence pure silence. The knife was plunged in deeper.

"My dad.. The one who needed me the most. i left him. I didn't even know I affected him that much. All for what?! a woman who doesn't appreciate... no she never loved me to do so. she didn't heed to our advice for the baby. Emily!" He roared near the end.

" Which mother would do that?! "

" my baby is .. my baby.. what have I done ? his voice slowed down.

" Jake.." Emily called out.

i heard her footsteps and Jake said. "no. no. enough of these. You either get her back to Charlie or ... Either she leaves or I leave."

By then i got up from the bed and was about to make way but I guess they didn't notice because ...

"Jake, you know better.." Emily said, shaking her head.

"No. I don't. I don't know and I don't want to know. You know what? I'm done. Do whatever you want" he said and pushed his way through out of the door.

No. .

I ran out of the room and noticed Quill and Embry were on the couch. Sam was at door calling out for Jake and Seth came to halt when he saw me running. Emily on the other hand was shouting " Bella. No! Bella!" trying to grab me.

But I ran. I ran after was already nearing the clearance and then... he stopped. And I heard him say "Emily, don't come any closer. i might .."

" Jake.." it came out as a whisper.

"Get away" was his reply and by the, way, he pronounced it. I knew, he was about to shift but I hugged him from behind. Wrapping my arms around him.

"What the hell are doing?! Let go off me!" he shouted and tried to pull my hand away.

" No. i won't"

" You could get hurt. Move" he gritted his teeth.

"You won't . You will never hurt me." his hold loosened. He fell into the trap.

he snorted before saying " yeah, and look where that ended me? i bet you're happy now?"

"Stop! Who are you?! What have you done to my Jake?"I said pulling myself away from him and in an instant he turned around to face me

" your Jake? Your JAKE?! Seriously Bella? Maybe that's why you got it all wrong; I'm not your toy. You can't just throw me after you get bored and come looking for it again when there's nothing better? And oh... you don't know me? Don't you recognise me? You created this Jake." he cocked an eyebrow and was smirking all the way.

" I never lied Jake. I did love you. I still do..." I started but he cut me off

" I'm not going do the same mistake again."

"Yes, i am a mistake. Loving me is a mistake... for you and I don't blame that. I'm sorry. I know. It's my fault but I want to fix it. Can't you give me a chance?"

"Bella, do you even realise what is going on? A chance? For what? What is done, is done. You can't undo them? You can't bring back harry. You can't make things better for Leah and Sam, the rest of the boys and including me are stuck in this for life! And you certainly can't help our baby!"

"I know! i know! I screw up everything. That's what i always do because I'm Bella swan.

But, i always had my best friend to pull me up... that's what Jacob black does. He fixes everything; it doesn't matter whether it's a bike or his best friend."

"You only find me when you want something, now that he's gone. You're here. What do you think that makes me feel?"

i kept silent. Because I had to. I did, what, I did, without thinking..No, maybe out of be honest, I was scared. I was scared that maybe, Edward would stop loving me or that Alice and the rest of them would never see me the same way again.

i was so scared of losing the family that I had wanted to be part of until i forget the family that i had become part of..

"I'm sorry. i know it's not enough. i know, it's not gona fix anything but i want you to know that i realised things now. i didn't mean to hurt, you guys at all. i just didn't realise, my actions would have effect on you guys . if i knew, i wouldn't have gone that far. trust me, you guys are family too. i know my actions, speak otherwise but trust me, i know my mistakes now." I said, while shutting my eyes.

" it's hard, to actually let go of the Cullens. Because they were the first people who actually made me feel comfortable and i actually, for the first time in my life. i felt, i finally belong somewhere. back then i didn't know Emily, Sam, Seth and the rest of them. and yes back then you were only my best friend but you may not believe it and this might even sound stupid but i don't know why but i feel like i can't live without you now." I said, opening my eyes and looking up at him

"everything i do, everywhere i look.. i see you. no matter how hard i try to forget you and even though Edward is still in my mind ... I feel like there is something pulling me towards you . and i tried ignoring it before and it lead me to this . but this time, I'm not gona do that again. i don't care what happens, I'm gona stay here with Emily and I'll try, Jake. i love you and i believe you still love me too. " with that i left him and walked back into the house well more like stomping.

As I opened the door, i saw the whole pack staring back at me. "Where's Jake?"

"he's out."

"Bella.." Emily started but i just walk past her.

"Bella, don't leave. Please" i heard Seth pleading me and Paul scolding him for doing so "leave her be, Seth"

"guys... I'm sorry. i know you guys might not like it and you may hate me for this."

" ." Seth and Emily came near me.

"told ya" Paul smirked

" Bella, think of the baby."

" i am. i really am, trust me Emily."

"but Bella.."

" no Emily. i made up my mind. i hope you support me."

"but Bella..."

" I'm moving in"

" you're what?!"