A/N: Alright guys, I'm really sorry about the wait. I'm not sure about this chapter but, I did the best I could. Thanks to my reviewers as always, you guys are what keep me going. Enjoy.

Chapter 34: A New Life

A new start, That's the thing I need
To give me new heart, Half a chance in life
To find a new part, Just a simple role
That I can play.

A new hope
Something to convince me
To renew hope
A new day, Bright enough to help me find my way

Who would've thought that crossing the ten feet that separated me from my family would be so difficult? But, I wasn't just taking those first steps towards my family. No, I was about take the first steps into my new life.

Still holding onto Jasper's hand, I walked towards them. They were still glancing me with cautious eyes. I wanted to be upset that they were looking at me in such a manner but, I somehow understood why they were doing this.

If I were in their shoes, I'd probably be doing the same thing as they were. However, I knew that I could never do anything to intentionally hurt them.

"You're my family." My strange voice startled me again but not as much as the first time "I could never hurt you." I whispered to myself and to them. I felt Jasper gently release my hand once we were close enough.

The person who was closest to me was Esme and I practically ran to her. Her face panicked for a fraction of a second before I flung my arms around her and hugged her tightly. I was probably hugging her too tightly but she didn't say anything. She just held me closer to her.

"Oh my precious girl, I thought we had lost you." She said into my ear. When I pulled away from her, I kissed her cheek and just smiled at her.

"I love you so much, mom." And never in my life with the Cullens had the word mom felt so right. Of course I was always going to love and cherish all the memories with my biological mother but, especially now that I had been changed, I had a feeling that Esme was going to be the mother that I needed in this life. And I couldn't have asked for a better one. She was kind, understanding, and loved me so much.

Carlisle was next. He stood there, with the same calm expression on his face. I knew he was excited though. Just like with Esme, I instantly wrapped my arms around him, hugging him tightly against me, my face buried against the shirt he was wearing.

"I'm so happy that you're okay sweetheart." He kissed the top of my head before looking down at me "This…well this is just amazing." He smiled warmly before turning to look at my brother who was standing the furthest away from me.

You aren't angry are you? I joked through my thoughts. A frown formed on his face but it disappeared after a few moments. He motioned for me to come to him and I was there in an instant.

He looked at me, as if he was upset that this happened to me but, there seemed to be another part of him that was happy that I was still here with them.

"My little sister." He whispered as he embraced me "I guess this means that you're stuck with us forever?" He joked, ruffling my hair a bit.

"So it seems." I lightly punched his shoulder and I couldn't help but laugh when he winced in pain.

"Oh, sorry Edward." I frowned. I had forgotten that I was stronger than him right now.

"Where's Alice?" I asked them "I heard her talking before I woke up."

"She's downstairs." Carlisle smiled, as if I had just something hilarious.

"What?"

"Nothing." He laughed gently and wrapped his arm around Esme's shoulder.

"Come on Natalia, this week has been absolute torture without you." Jasper was beside me again, taking my hand in his and we began walking downstairs. I took note of the bit of longing and irritation in his voice. I knew that my being unconscious for an entire week must've been hell for him. I wasn't sure if he had been able to feel everything I felt during the change but my guess was that he could. But, it was more than that. Jasper and I had this connection. Sort of like when one of us wasn't around, the other one couldn't function. Usually, the most time we spent apart lately had only been for a few hours or even overnight so, I knew that he must've been going crazy.

I eagerly took his hand, ready to spend some time with just him. As much as I loved my family, at the moment, I was experiencing my own feelings of longing.

However, we hadn't even made it completely down the hallway when, I froze and before I even knew what I was doing, I was down on the ground, a low snarl passing through my lips. I had heard it quite a few times before but, hearing it come from my own mouth, it was pretty terrifying as well as confusing.

"Natalia?" Jasper was suddenly eye level with me, his gaze locking with mine. He continued to say something but I didn't hear him at all. I might have been looking at him but, my attention was focused entirely on what was behind him.

I didn't know what was going on. I didn't really understand. All I knew was that suddenly, I felt like I was being threatened and I needed to defend myself. I could feel all of my muscles tense up in my body.

"Natalia" another voice was thrown into the mix and I recognized it as Carlisle's "I know what you're doing honey and you need to calm down so you can stop. There's no danger, everything's fine." His voice was calm, but stern.

After a few minutes, I just felt everything in my body instantly relax. It could've been Jasper, it could've been me. I stood up slowly and Jasper stood at the same pace. As I stood, Carlisle kept a firm hand on my arm.

"What was that?" I turned to look at Carlisle and he just gave me a small smile.

"This new life Natalia?" he began, his hand still firmly locked around my arm "It's going to take you quite awhile to get used to. It probably won't be easy but, we'll all help you no matter what."

"I understand that" I shook my head "I mean, what just happened right now?"

"I think I can explain it better!" I small, musical voice joined the conversation. I could hear each step she took until she was only a few feet away from me. When I saw who it was, things just didn't add up. Because standing right in front of me was Alice, one of my best friends and yet, I was beginning to get that same feeling of being threatened again. If it weren't for Carlisle's grip, who knows what I would've done.

"Can someone" I took a deep, unneeded breath "Tell me what in the world is going on?"

"What's wrong?" Alice's face grew a bit worried as she took a few steps closer to me. At the same time I cringed, Jasper stood between the two of us.

"You…smell funny Alice." I took a few steps away from her "Why?"

She frowned and Jasper just started laughing. I shot him a glare. I didn't see what was so funny.

"Well, well. Now that you're a vampire you can see just how horrible those dogs smell."

And then it all clicked. Almost.

"You smell like Jake." I sighed in understanding. "But, Alice has probably had his scent on her for awhile now, why is it bothering me now?"

"Wolves and vampires don't get along remember Natalia? We are natural, or I suppose supernatural enemies." Jasper tried to explain to me but I still wasn't getting it.

"But Jake is my friend. Alice is my friend. Why would I even think about hurting her?"

"It your body's natural reaction to a threat honey" Carlisle stepped back in "The moment you caught the scent of Jacob, you were instantly on your guard because you haven't gotten the chance to get used to it yet. It'll take you awhile of course but eventually, you'll be able to be around both of them without wanting to attack them."

"Attack?" my eyed widened "I would never attack them. They're my friends."

"Accidents can happen Natalia. Sometimes we can't control it…things just, happen." Jasper tried to explain to me. I couldn't believe what he was saying.

"But, I'm different right? I can have really good control. Can't I Carlisle?" I turned to fully face my father who was looking down at me with sympathetic eyes.

"If you truly work hard, then yes one day you should be able to have the amount of control that you're hoping for."

"I think you should start by hugging me." Alice smiled brightly and I turned around. "What?" she looked at our confused expressions.

"Alice, no that's not the best idea."

"Come on Carlisle! Don't underestimate her! Just because she's a newborn vampire…I just know." She tapped her forehead.

"I can try." I shrugged. "Right?"

"Alright then?" I watched as Carlisle let go of my arm and stepped away slightly. Jasper, on the other hand, stayed right by my side.

"You can do it Natalia, I trust you." She smiled warmly at me and closed the distance between us. Before I could move, her arms were wrapped tightly around me. The scent that came off of her was, for lack of a better word, horrible. I wanted to pull away from her but I was scared of hurting her feelings. But, after a few minutes, I couldn't handle it anymore so I nudged her as gently as possible.

"Don't worry, you did fine. You should be proud Nat!" Alice clapped her hands. "You're going to get better, I just know it!"

I wanted to laugh at Alice but, her optimism was so contagious, so genuine that I couldn't help but believe her.

"Thanks Alice." I patted had her arm gently "I'm sorry I almost attacked you."

"Nonsense" she waved her hand at me as if it was nothing "Really, sweetie…you're my best friend. Besides, I'm always one step ahead, so I doubt you'll be attacking me anytime soon." She giggled before prancing off towards her bedroom. I watched her as she left, wondering if everything she had just said was true. Would I really be able to handle this new life without any accidents?

"Darlin'?" I snapped out of my thoughts and turned my attention back to Jasper, who was still standing next to me. "You feel like going for a walk?"

"Yes." I sighed. I wanted nothing more than to just get out of the house right now. He quickly took my hand and the two of us started to walk down the hallway once more. This time though, there was nothing or no one stopping us as we walked outside.

"Not too much Jasper!" I heard Carlisle yell as we began walking down the driveway. It was funny actually. Even though I was like them now, Carlisle was still acting like a typical dad, protecting his daughter. I sort of appreciated it though. It made me feel somewhat normal, somewhat.

We were almost at the end of the pathway when I stalled a bit.

"Wait." I looked up and noticed that the sun was starting to break through the clouds "It's getting sunny."

"Yes, yes it is." He smiled, but not really getting where I was going.

"Am I…sparkly?" I tilted my head towards him and stepped over to where there was more sun. He took in my appearance for a few seconds before a bemused and confused look crossed his face.

"What? Do I look horrible?" I stepped out of the sun and back towards him.

"No, you look absolutely beautiful. It's just…well, you weren't really sparkling. It just looked like you were glowing. A subtle glow. We'll have to ask Carlisle about that. It's really quite peculiar."

"Great." I sighed. And that's when I realized that I hadn't even seen what this new me even looked like. Oh, well. I suppose when I got back home, I could just take it all in. As long as I semi resembled my old self, I would be fine, I hope.

"It's nothing to be concerned about, Natalia. Now, come on." He motioned for me to follow him. At first, we were walking normally down the road, not really talking. We were just enjoying the company. However, when we reached a more secluded area, he started picking up his pace.

"Hey, where are we going?" I looked at him, trying to keep up.

"To our tree of course…race you!" he yelled before taking off. I watched him as he ran, feeling a bit confused. I found it hard at first but, I just started pushing my legs as far as they as they would go. Before I knew it, I was right beside Jasper, who had a knowing look on his face.

As we approached the lake, there were two deer drinking from the lake and I immediately came to a halt. Jasper was back with me in two seconds. He watched me intently, seeing what I was going to say or do but, all I could focus was the strange feeling that had suddenly formed in the back of my throat. It was this intense burning and it was growing with each passing second.

"Are you thirsty?" he suggested softly and, without realizing it, I just nodded. I didn't want to be thirsty for…well, for blood. But, I knew that there was no way that I could eat 'normally' again. Even though I knew this was part of deal, I was still feeling incredibly self conscious and skeptical. On top of that, I was feeling a bit disgusted over what I was about to do.

"Come on, I'll help you." He whispered to me as we approached the two unsuspecting creatures. "Follow my lead." He said quickly and I just nodded.

I mirrored everything he did. I by no means enjoyed it. It was warm as it slid down my throat, a feeling that I never wanted to experience again but knew that was just wishful thinking now.

I cringed when I finished a long time after Jasper, who was patiently waiting for me. I looked back down at the creature. I had taken its life and even if was just an animal, I had killed it.

I screamed, looking for some sort of release but nothing came out. I took a huge jump across the lake, ran into the tree and sat there, my arms wrapped along my legs, rocking back and forth.

"I hate this…I cannot express any remorse for what I've just done." I felt like crying, but again, there was nothing. Jasper's arms were around me in a second and I knew that he was trying to calm down but it wasn't really helping. It's pretty obvious that he is feeling every emotion that I'm experiencing right now. Disgust, anger, and confusion. It all flashed across his face.

But, regardless of all the emotions I'm throwing at him, he still stayed with me. He tried to help me in the only way he knew how, by simply sitting with me. Him sitting me with however wasn't really working though. I realized that we were no longer hot and cold. From now on, we were always going to be…cold and it made something inside of me snap.

"Why!" I screamed at him but he didn't budge "Why are we like this?!" I screamed again, glaring at him. However, my rant was momentarily forgotten the moment he tried to reach out and touch me but suddenly stopped.

"What did you just do?" he whispered and I stared at him, dumbfounded.

"I don't know…did I…did I push you away from me Jasper?" I whispered back and he silently nodded. However, he looked a bit confused and the tiniest bit excited.

"I think you did Natalia. Try it again." He stood up, helped me up and then walked a few feet away from me.

"Ok." he nodded and I looked at him, my eyes locking on his. And that's when I felt this strange feeling coming from somewhere. It was coming from someplace deep inside of me. He took two steps forward and instantly, I could literally feel myself pushing against him. I was actually pushing him and yet, I didn't move an inch. Almost like it was all coming from inside of my mind.

He tried it again and the same thing happened. I was actually preventing him from coming any closer to me.

"Natalia?" he gave me a small smile "You think you can drop your power so I can come to you now?" I immediately felt guilty and I stopped doing whatever I had been doing so that he could approach me.

"That was amazing" he walked back towards me but hesitated for a moment. He could sense that I was still angry. More so with myself of course. Yet, even though I was still upset, I still let him hold me again. We stayed like that for hours, neither of talking nor moving. Just the sound of steady, unneeded breathing coming from the two of us.

Eventually, as it started getting dark, he suggested that we head back home. I didn't really want to go back quite yet but, I knew that everyone was probably waiting for me to come back.

As got closer to the house, I felt the anxiety level rising in my body.

"What is it?" Jasper stopped up as we came up to the start of the driveway.

"Jasper, I just want to feel something…anything!" I frowned, as we continued out walk back towards the house. He wanted me to show Carlisle my new found gift. At the moment, I didn't really care. All I wanted was to feel normal. I felt like I was crawling out of my skin to be honest.

"Natalia?" he stopped me before we walked back inside. I looked at him and I'm sure I looked crazy. My eyes were literally blood red and I felt sick.

"You don't resent me do you?" he asked and I could sense his guilt. I turned towards him and wrapped my arms around him, just resting my head against him and shook my head.

"How can I Jasper? I practically begged you to do this to me. Just, promise me that you aren't going to leave me okay? I need you now, more than ever."

"I'm not leaving you Natalia. I promise to be with you every step of the way." he kissed the top of my head "Besides, I have excellent experience with newborn vampires so you're in good hands."

"I love you" I pulled back from him so I could stand up higher to kiss him quickly. When I came back down, there was a slight look of irritation on my face.

"What?" He laughed.

"You would think that now I'm a vampire, I would've grown a few inches. But, no it looks like I'm still the same height."

"But you're still perfect." he reminded me.

"Biased, that's the imprint talking."

"Maybe." he sighed and took my hand once more as we approached the front steps of the house. I thought quickly over everything that had happened today and I suddenly had the feeling that this was not going to be an easy process.

I had barely walked inside the door when I heard someone laughing.

"Natalia!" I looked up and saw Emmett waving at me, a huge smile on his face. I smiled back at him. He jumped up off the couch and ran towards me. And, when I met his gaze for a split second, he suddenly stopped. It was almost like he had ran into a brick wall or something and he ended up stumbling back a bit against the couch. Thankfully, he wasn't angry, he just started laughing.

"If you didn't want me to hug you, you just had to say so." he stood up straight again, giving me a teasing look. In return, I gave him an apologetic smile.

"Come here, Natalia." Carlisle motioned for me to come to him "You too, Edward." he called over my brother and we both walked over to him. Jasper left my side and went to sit with Emmett and everyone else.

"I see that you have discovered your gift, Natalia?"

"Well, not really. I have no clue what I'm doing Carlisle."

"Tell me what you feel."

"Well, it's like when someone comes near me and if I'm able to lock my eyes with them for just a few seconds, I can stop them from coming any closer to me. Almost like I put up a glass wall between the two of us."

"Yes, I see. So, almost like you have a shield?"

"I guess. I don't know."

"Is it just physical? Or can you stop things mentally as well?" I just shrugged. "Right. Ok, let's try something." he stood off to the side so that me and Edward were face to face. "Now, I want you two to keep your eyes locked and Natalia, see if you can block Edward from reading your thoughts." the two of us nodded and I just stared at my brother, feeling incredibly awkward. After a few seconds, I just thought of something.

I'm having a really, really hard time with this Edward. I don't understand it, I don't feel like myself at all. I just wish it would all go back to normal.

When his lips curved into a faint smile, I knew that he had heard me.

"He can hear my thoughts. And I'm pretty sure Jasper could feel my emotions earlier. So, it's just a physical thing, Carlisle. Is that bad?" I broke the gaze with Edward, who was still looking at me.

"No, not at all. It's actually a pretty useful gift to have. When and if you should ever be in any danger, you will be able to block your enemies from coming near you."

"Danger? Enemies?" I stared at him "Why would I have enemies?"

"He's not saying you will sweetie" Esme came and grabbed my hands "You just must always be aware of everything around you alright?"

"Ok." I nodded and as soon as she stepped away, I felt myself in a tight embrace. I looked up and saw Edward looking down at me, a concerned look on his face. He was still thinking about my thoughts. Even though we weren't actual siblings, we still were able to have silent conversations among one another. Me through my thoughts and him with his eyes.

I'll be fine…one day right?

"Of course, Natalia. And we'll all be there for you, just remember that okay?"

"I know. I couldn't have asked for a group of better people to be with."

"Exactly." he released his embrace and I just stood there, feeling a bit exhausted. Mentally of course.

"Can I go upstairs to rest or something? I know I can't sleep but, I think I need to lie down."

"Of course sweetie. Go on ahead." Esme gave me a soft.

Without even having to ask him, Jasper was right there at my side before I began to walk up the stairs.

"Every step, darlin'. Every step." he quickly reminded me. I mustered the most genuine smile I could think of but, I don't know if I succeeded.

As much as I wanted to believe everyone's words of assurance and comfort, there was a part of me that wondered if they were right. Would I really be able to handle this new life?

Yes, I was happy to still be here with the people I love but, I didn't feel like me. And that perhaps was the biggest concern.

As I headed up the stairs, I could feel everyone watching me. No, this was wasn't going to be an easy transition at all.

All I wanted was to find an ounce of hope to keep me motivated.

That's all I needed. A bit of hope and belief in myself. If I could find that, then maybe, just maybe things would be alright someday.

This was my life now. There was no turning back.

There was a little bit of everything in this chapter, I think. I hope you guys liked her 'gift.'

This story is coming to an end pretty soon. But, don't worry, there is going to be a sequel to it. I'm working on it already so, I hope you guys will be excited for that.

As always, Revews=LOVE & hopefully a preview.