Kate couldn't take her eyes off the back of the ambulance, watching hawk like while the paramedics checked Rick out, Alexis hovering beside him, unable to stay away. Kate couldn't really blame her, she was barely unable to let him go, despite the insecurity she was now feeling.
"Hello" Ryan's voice filtered back into her world. "Anyone there?"
"Sorry, Ryan, it's Beckett." Kate murmured, finally ripping her eyes away just as Rick looked up to meet her gaze.
"Everything okay? You sound weird." He asked, concerned now. He had waved her off for her lunch break, knowing that she was meeting her boyfriend and his kid, but now she sounded like her world was falling apart.
"There, there was an incident." Kate nearly whispered, unable to really give voice to it all. "Everyone's okay, but Rick was caught up in a collapse and nearly didn't get out in time."
"Shit." Ryan murmured softly. "You sure he's okay?"
"Paramedics are checking now." Kate murmured, running her hand through her hair, finding herself pacing, nervous energy over loading her system. "But he seems perfectly fine."
"That's good." Ryan smiled. "No?" He checked when his colleague didn't say anything.
"I need to stay with them. Alexis is very shaken up and I, I can't just come back to work after seeing that." She whispered, a little ashamed at her emotional response to a man she was clearly more committed to than he was to her, but there was nothing she could do.
"Of course." Ryan nodded. He had only known Kate for little over a year but they had become fast friends, and he'd never heard her like this. "I'll let the captain know, go look after your family."
Kate choked a little on the last word but swallowed her tears and nodded. "Thanks Ryan, I owe you one."
"How you doing, kiddo?" Kate asked quietly, smile firmly plastered on for the girl's sake, as she came back to the mouth of the ambulance, gently cupping Alexis' shoulder.
Alexis shrugged gently, tipping slowly into Kate's side, seeking comfort the detective wouldn't refuse her.
"I'm okay, baby." Rick promised softly, glancing back to the paramedic currently listening to his lungs, though a stethoscope on his back. "I promise. Look," he smiled, wiggling his arms up and down, as he flexed and relaxed his ankles, "not exploded even a little bit." He smiled softly, when Alexis giggled gently. He looked up to find Kate, his heart sinking when he realised she still wasn't going to look at him. "You okay, Kate?"
Kate startled at his voice, before nodding quickly. "I called the precinct, I'm free for the rest of the day if you wanted some help with Alexis, or..." she trailed off, uncertain.
"Sounds great. We'd love to have you around for the day." He tried to assure her, getting only a slight nod in return.
"Okay," The paramedic interrupted, putting away his equipment, letting Kate off from trying to reply. "I'm not particularly comfortable letting you out of hospital observation but, if you feel as okay as you say you do, and were as far away from the blast as reported, I can let it slide." He smiled a little, getting one off Rick. "You need to watch though, if your breathing gets worse, you'll need to come in immediately if it does." The paramedic recited carefully.
"Received and understood." Rick smiled, getting up slowly, to get down from the ambulance. "Thank you."
The paramedic nodded, spotting him off the back before pulling the doors shut.
Rick smiled as he came to stand beside his girls.
"How about we go get that ice cream, huh? The guys can handle this now that they have my statement." Rick asked, gently taking Alexis' hand, smiling for a moment when his daughter used her spare hand to grasp Kate's. His smiled fell pretty quickly though, when he noticed just how hollow Kate's smiled back was.
Kate had been quiet all day.
All through ice cream, and playing with Lex in the park, and dinner, she'd hardly said a word to him, though she'd tried very hard to keep up a happy façade for his daughter.
Rick had hoped that giving her some alone time, while he put Alexis to bed, would have helped. But as he walked back down the stairs to see her sat, staring into her half full wine glass, completely zoned out, he realised that might have been the worst idea.
"Hey," he started quietly, trying, and failing, to not startle her. "Sorry." He apologised softly, taking his seat beside her.
"She go down okay?" Kate asked quietly, sipping the ruby red liquid in her glass slowly.
Rick shrugged. "She wouldn't let go of me until she drifted off. Wouldn't be surprised if she had nightmares, but I reckon she'll be okay."
"She's not the only one that'll have nightmares." Kate murmured.
Rick stared at her for a moment, trying to get into her head. "You okay?" He asked quietly. "You've been quiet since this morning." He carefully slipped his hand into the hand that wasn't holding her glass, and squeezed gently. "I can only imagine how scary that must have been, Kate, especially with Alexis stood beside you."
Kate shrugged slightly, dismissively, but Rick could feel, and see, the tremble she'd suddenly developed.
"I'm okay, sweetheart. I know," he paused, trying to gather his thoughts. He didn't want to offend her, or embarrass her. "I know that some things were said..." he didn't get any further, Kate stood abruptly, dropping his hand immediately even as she set down her glass.
"It was stupid." She murmured, her voice shaking almost as much as her hands, as she ran them through her hair, unable to drag her rapidly filling eyes from the floor to meet his for even a second. "I was scared," her voice cracked, "terrified and in the heat of the moment, I...forgot myself." She shrugged, taking a step back when Rick stood to try and comfort her. "Of course, I really like you, but it can't be love," she chuckled heavily, the sound so water logged it tore at Rick's heart. "We haven't been together long enough for it to be, well that." She rambled, shaking her head as she bent to grab her bag. "I, I should go..." she mumbled, making her way to the door.
"Kate, wait." Rick called, desperately trying to resolve this before it got even further out of hand than it already was.
"Tell Lex I'll see her soon, okay?" Kate murmured, hand on the door knob, desperate to escape before the torrent of tears broke through their damn, stopping only at Rick's desperate cry.
"Dammit Kate, I love you too!"